✧

Two months later

Joseph's body is over mine as he thrusts slowly. I adore his body. He's lean and got a good six back going on but the visuals for me aren't enough. His hand is resting beside my head, I lean over to take his wrist and I draw it up and press to the centre of my bare chest.

Our eyes meet as he moves at the same pace. I slide his hand higher and higher until his fingers are wrapped around my throat. My eyes close and I smile. That's it. This is what I need.

When I release his hand, he drops his arm back down beside my head. My eyes fly open and I exhale a silent whimper as his cock slides in and out of me. My jaw tightens but I choose not to say anything.

He speeds up by a fraction and releases a low growl. I take his hand again and place it on the base of my neck but he fights my grip and flashes me a confused look.

I sigh and press a hand to his chest, stopping him. "Let's try doggy instead." I murmur.

Joseph merely nods before he pulls out of me and I turn around, pressing my palms to the bed and facing the headboard. He lines his cock up against my entrance and pushes in. I close my eyes and let my fingers curl over the duvet.

Letting my imagination wander behind my closed eyes is dangerous.

We all know where it leads to.

Images of tattooed body parts and silver eyes haunt my mind. I whine and bite my lip.

"Harder," I demand.

But Joseph stays at his regular pace that is driving me crazy–and not in a good way.

"Joseph, please," I beg pathetically. "Just a little faster, harder. Anything."

"I don't want to hurt you, Vi," he says from behind me.

My eyes open and I roll them shaking my head. "You're not going to hurt me. I want this. Please."

He uses a little more force but it's like riding a merry-go-round compared to a rollercoaster. I want thrills. I want excitement. I want to be screaming at the top of my lungs. And yet... I feel none of that.

Only disappointment.

This time when my eyes close I imagine Haze in front of me. A hand travels down his impressive muscles and toned stomach. I don't know how far down his tattoos spread but I imagine they cover every inch of his skin.

He tugs at the bulge in his pants. He's huge. He's smirking. He's so damn mysterious.

"Spank me," I cry out.

Joseph rips himself from me and I open my eyes, twisting my head over my shoulder. I catch my breath as our eyes meet and he shakes his head at me. "What the hell is this, Viola?"

Embarrassment and shame swarms me. I grab the nearest blanket and cover my body, despising that I'm exposed to him right now. My cheeks flood with heat and I shake my head.

"What?"

He scowls at me and gives me a once over. "Choking, spanking, rough fucking?" He lists and recoils from his own words. "Why the hell would you want me to do that stuff to you? It's sick and degrading."

"No, it's not," I defend myself but my voice comes out as nothing but a pathetic squeak. "It's only a bit of fun and I know I'm safe. I'm consenting to it."

"Yeah, it is," he grumbles and stands from the bed, tugging on his boxers. "I don't get all this kink stuff. It's weird and gross. I'm sorry, Vi, but if you like that shit then there is something seriously wrong with you. Women have tried for years to preach feminism, but stuff like this takes them back hundreds of years."

I wince like I've been physically slapped. "That is not fair."

"Yeah, it is," he shakes his head in disgust. "This isn't you, Viola. I don't know what has gotten into you lately but that shit is not normal. Why do you feel like you need me to act like that?"

My mouth opens to explain myself but I know he won't understand–he won't even try. "It was just a suggestion," I say lamely. "And this has nothing to do with feminism."

Joseph rolls his eyes and begins to put on the rest of his clothes. "We can agree to disagree, but I'm not doing any of that stuff. I'm not into it and it makes me feel fucking awful."

He leaves and I exhale a sigh, slumping back onto my bed. I shake my head and tell myself to get it together. I swipe my legs over the edge and get dressed. We've only been sleeping together for a month.

Joseph swept into position when Haze never made an appearance. I'm accepting that he's never coming back and if I want to be happy in the future, I have to start thinking about other wolves I could date. Even if it kills me to think about.

I wouldn't say we're boyfriend and girlfriend but we agreed to help each other out to scratch that itch of desire. Except, I haven't experienced one orgasm yet. I enjoy the idea of sex but once I'm there, it's like everything evaporates out of my body and I'm not excited anymore.

What is wrong with me?

It's because you know it's with the wrong person.

I shake these thoughts from my head. I can't let him occupy any more space. I'm done.

Imogen greets me downstairs and immediately knows something is up. "What's happened now?"

"Nothing," I dismiss. "I could kinda do with getting out of the house."

She links her arm through mind. "Let's go into town. Grab some coffee and some sweet ass treats."

"Sure," I chuckle.

When we arrive at town the market is busy as always. The sun shines brightly today and we pick a coffee shop with an outside area. I sip on my matcha and exhale a breath that has been consuming my chest.

"What's going on with you?" She asks as she drinks down her tea.

I shake my head. "What isn't going on with me would be a better question."

"Shit with Joseph?"

"He said something shitty today," I wave a hand. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Fine, fine," she nods. "I mean, I thought something was going wrong when you decided to dye your hair chocolate brown."

My eyes glance down to the curly brunette locks sitting over my shoulders. I don't know what came over me. I wanted a change. I wanted to feel different. So I dyed my hair like every other normal person would.

"Yeah, what's your point?"

Imogen raises her arms in defence. "Nothing."

I flick my eyes over Imogen. Last month her father, Leon, stood down as Alpha and my brother took his title, Imogen became his Beta. It's been a change for all of us but it's for the better. Leon hasn't been very well and needs to focus on his health.

"How's Beta life?"

She grins at the question. "Amazing. I'm sure I was born for this role."

"Nate too," I laugh softly. "You two make a good team."

"Yeah, who would have guessed it?"

My lips part and as I attempt to speak a cool rush of air brushes past my ear. I pause at the same time goosebumps raise across my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I gulp suddenly and whip my head over my shoulder.

"Vi?"

I scan the market but there are so many faces I can hardly focus on any.

The noise around me becomes louder and the sensation intensifies. I grip my shoulder and pinch the skin but it doesn't reduce the feeling–it makes it a thousand times worse. My throat clenches around my words.

My weary eyes continue scanning the crowd but I'm left shorthanded.

I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I tell myself.

The claws of my wolf pound my insides but I ignore her. He wouldn't be here. Why would he be here? After three months. I think we all know that he decided to up and leave. I'm projecting, nothing more.

"Viola," Imogen grabs my arm and I finally snap my attention back to her. "What the hell was that?"

I shake my head and attempt to dampen my dry mouth with my iced drink. "Nothing," I brush off with an unconvincing smile. "Just thought I saw someone."

Imogen's eyes narrow at me suspiciously. "You've gone all flushed."

"Have I?" The backs of my hands press to my cheeks to find my skin boiling. I laugh hesitantly. "It must be the sun. It's a warm one today."

"Right..." she trails off. "Yeah, sure."

Imogen starts talking about some of the new pack rules she wants to implement with my brother. Every part of me is trying to focus but all I can think about is the prickling feeling crawling up my neck and nesting in my brain.

I tense but attempt a smile anyway. My eyes itch to look over my shoulder but I don't want to give Imogen more reason to think something is wrong, she'll end up blabbing to Nate and I won't hear the end of it.

The feeling of eyes burn into the back of my skull, as if I'm being watched upon by prey. I shift in my seat and look over my shoulder once more then Imogen starts rummaging through her back. But no one is looking at me.

My heart pounds in my chest like a bell and every thud makes me flinch. I'm sure my eyes start to dilate when my palms become sweaty. No. No. This is a misunderstanding. A wave of anxiety, nothing more.

I'm fine. This is fine. We're all fine.

Once we finish our drinks and head back home through the pretty fields of lavender. The second we step foot onto our territory the invading feeling begins to subside and I take a breath. My body is playing tricks on me. I'm an idiot.

I head upstairs to my bedroom after saying goodbye to Imogen as she has pack duties to attend to. The second I press my hand to my door, I pause. Something is off. A wave of spiciness and wood creeps into my nose and I begin to panic.

My body flushes hot and cold all over. I take one shaky step inside and scope out the room but it's empty. A shiver runs down my spine as I inch closer to my dressing table and gasp when I find a note pinned to my mirror.

Everything slams into me at once and I almost topple over from my lack of balance.

I reach for the note and a zap of electricity rushes down my wrist when I hold it. My eyes scan the words and I shake violently at the five words written down messily.

Did you miss me, sweetness?

My mouth turns desert dry and I look around the room again to find myself alone. The paper trembles between my fingers and I shake my head.

"No, no, no," I whisper.

He's been here. He's been in my room.

My breathing begins to harshen and I slam down the note, hating how it made my skin tingle in ways that I shouldn't enjoy. He doesn't get to do this. He doesn't get to come back as if nothing happened and break into my bedroom.

I knew what I felt at the market wasn't a coincidence. He's been following me.

Tears of terror prick my ears and I swallow them back. I grit my teeth. "No," I rasp. "You don't get to do this. Not now. Not when it suits you."

I have no idea if he can hear me, if he's still here somehow. But I want him to. This isn't a game I want to play. I'm done and he can leave my emotions out of it.

A knock at my bedroom door makes me jump out of my skin. I twist to find Joseph stepping inside apprehensively and then he smells the air. "What's that scent?"

"Nate's new aftershave," I blurt. "Got it for him in town. It's a surprise."

Joseph stares at me for a long moment before nodding. "Okay. Look, Vi. I wanted to talk about earlier."

"No need," I force a fake smile. "We obviously want different things and that's okay."

"But that shouldn't matter," he steps forward. "Not when I feel this way about you."

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. This is the last thing I need right now when my brain is literally scrambled. "Joseph, can we talk about this another time? I have a headache and I just want to be alone."

"Right, sure."

He leaves and closes my door behind him. I twist towards my desk and look down at the note that manages to haunt my nervous system. I bunch it up between my fist and throw it in the bin.

He can't exist if I continue to ignore him.

✧

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Author's Note

Eeeeek. Our little Viola is a little submissive🤭

Also fuck Joseph for kink shaming her. I think we all know who will do a better job and fulfilling her needs heheh😏💦

After three months Haze is leaving her little notes. Do you think he has a good excuse?

What did you guys think of this chapter?👉🏼

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Love Savanna x

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