Nightfall was already upon the city when I got there and I took a deep breath of the cold, unclean air as I braced myself to take that first step into my unwanted reality.

"Hey sweetheart." An old face with a warm smile greeted. "I'm so glad you called."

"Hey mom."

I faked a smile. I knew my dad was the one who told her when I'd be returning but I didn't want to hurt her feelings by being blunt.

We headed over to her new Audi, one of the many treats she gave herself whenever she missed her family and wanted a distraction from the loneliness.

"I forgot to tell you." She began, turning the car from the parking lot and heading home. "Your sister is also visiting from Spain. Isn't that lovely?"

"Yes mom."

She picked up on the hint that I wanted to be left alone and so the only thing that filled the silence was the radio station's top hits of the old decade.
The hour long drive was awkward and silent with mom talking animatedly about things that happened while I was away and me humming softly to the tunes, trying my best just to ignore her.

I wasn't being mean but I felt like I was in a state of constant panic and although I was briefed about being back in civilization and what that transition would do to me; the groups that I was advised to join to curb my anxiety and so forth, I couldn't help but wonder if or when I'd freak out and do something stupid.

I was already itching for a stiff drink and although I wasn't a drinker before the army, I became addicted to the substance during my 5 year hiatus from life. We arrived at my mom's house and with my heart racing in time with my thoughts, we both stepped out the car.

"Hey tallist."

"Hey Becks." I greeted my older sister.

Rebecca ignores my half smile as she pulls me into a hug and I automatically stiffened. "Sorry. Are you still hurt from the accident?"

"No."

She exchanges a look with my mom before shrugging and they both collected one of my two small suitcases before heading inside. I sighed, running a hand down my face and failing to make myself seem lively. Giving up on that task, I headed inside and joined them at the kitchen island.

My physical injuries were healed but the pain came full force during the nights when the place got too cold. I knew the only trouble I would have would be my nightmares and although I haven't started getting them, I knew I would soon.

"You hungry?" Becks asks, staring at my quiet, stiff figure.

"Sure."

"Mom, we're heading out."

She ushers me to the door before kissing mom's forehead and I wordlessly follow suit.

"I've been back a week now." She starts and I stay quiet. "A lot has changed in the 5 years you've been gone. Hell, in the 3 years I've been gone."

She looks over to me as I follow her down the street but I remain silent.

"There's this really great restaurant that's opened a few blocks from here. Heard the food's really good. Was meaning to check it out but I've been so busy warming up to this place. You know I'm in my final year of uni right?"

"Mmm."

"Well yeah, I am. It's nice and all and I honestly can't wait to start my internship. Its exciting being in the working world full time. I already got myself a job lined up after the internship that I haven't even started yet or even finished uni."

She chuckles to herself before we once again go silent. Soon we arrive at the fancy looking restaurant that fit right in with our neighbourhood and I sighed as we walked in. The place was not as packed as I'd expected but still had too many people for my liking. Everyone was in a fancy get up and I felt out of place still clad in my uniform.

We grabbed a seat towards a window and as if by reflex, I took the seat towards the wall so I could see the door and through the window. Picking up the menus, I welcomed the distraction as my eyes flitted across the delicious looking food items.

"Hey Stace, your day off? Can I get the special please?"

"Sure thing Becks."

My eyes snapped up at the sound of the sultry, unfamiliar voice and I furrowed my brows as she smiled at my sister.

My curiosity must have shown on my face because my sister raised a brow at the same time a smile appeared on Stace's face.

"And what can I get you?"

"Am... I'll just have some chili fries and a Guinness."

They both stopped and looked over at me with confused expressions and I felt weird being the center of attention.

"What?"

"You're not eating that." My sister says, breaking the awkward silence. "She'll have chicken and potato fries with a glass of juice."

"Thats not what I wa-"

"That is all." Becks says through almost gritted teeth, her gaze on me.

We wait until the waitress leaves and I boredly gave my sister a look. "Really?"

"Don't really me. A Guinness and chilli fries? Who are you? That's the most unhealthy meal combo I've ever heard of. Plus, since when do you even drink?"

"I-"

"You know what, don't even answer that. The answer might scar me. Better yet, I bet you use to just drink hard core alcohol with those soldier buddies of yours."

"We-"

"Is that all you soldiers were good for? Sitting down chilling at the base seeing who can drink the most and running from responsibilities back home."

My head was starting to hurt from all the unnecessary talking she was doing and I wanted to tell her to shut up but my heart was racing and I felt like it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe.

"I bet dad just used the army as an excuse to drink too huh? And for what reason? Its not like lots of horrible things happen where you guys were. I bet your accident was cause you were distracted or something right? I mean, I'm not really sure what happened but-"

And that was all I heard.

I didn't know when I lost track of the conversation nor when day suddenly turned to a black cloud of nothingness but I sure as heck knew when a burning sensation woke me up.