So I basically plan to write about my own experiences and then try to see if any one else shares my pain. I want to help anyone and everyone so you don't have to go through this stuff. No one deserves this. I'm not saying I went through hell, I know plenty of people have gone through way worse than me but, I wanna try. Here goes...

(Sorry, I know it's a long and useless story but there is a point to it all)
So to start off I would like to tell a little about myself...

Hi guys my name is, well, that's not really important. I am 13 at this moment, will be 14 in a little less than two weeks. Um, I, crap I just had a brain fart about myself. How does that happen? Anyways, I was born in a really small town in Pennsylvania, lived there for about a year then moved to California, lived there for three years I believe, moved to Missouri, a year I think, moved to South Carolina for three years, then finally moved to Texas and have been living here for almost five years. So as you can already tell I have lived in many different states and gone to many different schools. Why you ask? Because, even before my parents got married, my dad served in the military (marine). Because of this, my dad was station all over the U.S, taking us along with him. This resulted in me not really having many friends, or ever really experiencing the feel of hanging out with that one really close friend I hear so many people talking about.

Over the years I have made friends, and lost friends, to start, in South Carolina I was in a group consisting of three girls, counting me, and we had great times together. Soon our little group became well known in school for being a tight group that never split up, until the head of our group moved away.
My other friend invited others into our group, forgetting me, really. Then we moved.
Texas has been the worst by far for me with friends. When I first moved here, I met a tall red head girl in my grade living next door, and our parents immediately set us up as friends. As luck would have it, we ended up having all of our classes together, so we became known for being (once again) the tightest friends in the school. Nothing was going to get between our friendship, right? Wrong. Turns out her formal friend was angry at me for 'stealing' her friend, and resulted to bullying me ever so slightly that no one really noticed but me. Because of her anger, she turned all her other friends against me, except for my good old pal, Shauna. She defended me and stood by my side, looking back now, that is what hurt me the most. It wasn't until the following year she started acting bitter towards me. She had become the second most popular kid in school, I was just the close friend no one really cared about. She always turned me down when I tried to talk to her, or hang out. Soon I stopped trying. Soon we stopped hanging out so much. We were still labeled as awesome friends, but it sure as heck didn't feel like it.
What really changed everything, was when she announced she was moving. I was devastated. Despite the way she treated me, she was all I had. And she was moving. And this was only the start of the problem. Looking back now I guess she did this to make leaving me easier, I guess. But very very quickly she started to despise me. She would sometimes yell at me, or ignore me. Or treat me like a kid who knew so much less than her. But I stuck with her. I remember one of our last recesses together, when she came up to me and told me I would be nothing without her, and one of my former crushes came up and said without hesitating,
"What if it's you who will be nothing without her, huh?" Then he walked off. His friends nodding in agreement.

We don't talk to each other anymore. Me and Shauna. The next year was seventh grade and I found myself sitting alone. Until I found a friendly wave beckoning me over. It was one of my former bully's friends asking for me to join them. I hesitated but joined them. Now my bully's friend is my best friend, who is now the second most popular kid in school. We are known for our awesome friendship. My former bully is now mad at me for who knows what. I- just can't seem to trust anyone anymore.
I want what I see in so many other people, that one friend you would literally give your life for, share anything with, do anything for. Visit almost so often, you could call their house yours. My mom has that. My sisters have that. My dad has that. Shoot my baby brother has that.

But what should I care. I don't know. Does anyone else feel this way? I hope by now I would know enough about this kind of thing to help anyone, if that story doesn't prove that I don't know what will. But if any of you need help with this. Let me know. Whether you want me to share or not is up to you. You guys aren't alone. There are so many other people out there who would give anything to help you. Despite if you know it or not. I love you all, I hope you know that. Even if I have never met you and won't in my lifetime, I love you so damn much. That I can promise.

Have an awesome day. I will update again soon.