Sick of crying,
Tired of trying,
Yes I'm smiling but inside I'm dying.

~

================
~Arlo's pov~

"Wake up fag." I was abruptly awaken by someone forcefully shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see my older brother, Leighton, staring at me in disgust. "Hurry up or we're going to be late." He seethed before shaking his head and turning away.

Beilieve it or not, we used to be really close. As close as brothers could be. Then you say a few words and things turn to shit.

My chest pained at the memory of us. Making me want to not go to school, but I got up anyways. I walked to the bathroom that was connected to my room and stripped down to nothing. I turned the water on and let it heat up.

"You're a disgrace!" My mother yelled.

"Is this for attention?!" My dad asked furiously. I shook my head as tears ran down my race.

"That is a sin Arlo! Do you know what's going to happen now?!" I cried harder.

"Please! I'm still the same Arlo! Nothing about me changed!" I begged and pleaded them to understand.

"What's going on?" Leighton asked as he walked into the room we were in.

"Your brother just told us he was gay!" My mother said hysterically. I looked over at Leighton with pleading eyes hoping he would understand. His mouth was open. He snapped his head towards me.

"He's not my brother." My heart broke at his words.

Not him too- I thought as I hung my head in shame. The tears fell faster. I never thought my own brother would treat me like this. It just doesn't seem real.

"Arlo! What the hell?! Hurry up!" Leighton screamed from outside my bathroom door. I sighed and turned the water off and exited the shower. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out.

I walked over to my dresser and out on my usual attire. Long sleeves to hide the scars and pants to hide the rest. It didn't even matter that it was in the hundreds outside. All that mattered was that no one saw them.

I walked downstairs and grabbed a granola bar from the cupboards and walked outside and to the bus.

As I passed I saw my brother getting into his car. My brother never took me to school. He was embarrassed by me. It always hurt me to see him avoid me like the plague.

I climbed onto the bus and took the seat closest to the door. I never made eye contact with anyone, never talked to anyone.

'Act like you're invisible until you really are.' I tell myself.

'Keep your head down. Don't show weakness. They feed off it.'

The bus pulled up in front of the hellhole I call my school all too soon. As soon as the bus stopped completely and the doors popped open I was off the bus in no time. I didn't want to waist another second getting stared at by people. With their judging eyes and whispering lies.

I can hear people snickering at me as I walk towards the big building of West Ward High.

I kept my head down as I gripped my bag straps closer to me. My knuckles turning white with how hard I gripped the black bag.

"I heard Arlo is related to Leighton." A girl whispered as I passed by.

This isn't good- I frantically worried mentally. If Leighton finds out that people know then he'll hate me even more. It hurts just thinking about it. I still kept my head down and headed towards my locker. I put my combination into the pale blue metal tin-can.

It clicked and unlocked. I let my bag slide off my shoulders and placed it on a hook in my locker. I unzipped it and grabbed a blue notebook out of it along with a pencil. I trudged down the hallway to my first hour class, biology, with my head down.

I walked in and made my way towards the back of the classroom. I usually get lucky and sit by myself, but fate had different plans.

A new student.

I mentally groaned and layed my head on my desk. The only other open seat was beside me.

"Mr. Washington, please lift your head off the desk." I did as told and looked up to see my biology teacher learning against his desk in the front of the class. There was a guy standing next to him. He's attractive I'll give him that. He had a brown-red hair color with blue eyes. "Class this is Coinneach MacCarthy. He just moved here from Ireland."

"Um, it's actually pronounced ko-in-ock." He corrected him. And I loved hearing how manly his voice sounded. It matched his thick Irish accent so well.

"Right. Sorry. Go ahead and take a seat next to Arlo. Arlo raise your hand." I hesitantly raised my hand.

"Mr. Frederick, Coinneach can take my seat. I wouldn't want Alro's gay to rub off." Said the slut of a blonde named Chelsi. I hung my head and brought my hand back down.

"I wouldn't mind sitting next to Arlo. He looks really nice." My head snapped up to stare at him in surprise. He walked over to me where I'm sitting and flashed me a toothy smile. His teeth are unnaturally white. He plopped down next to me.

"Alright then. Lets get class started then." He turned around to face the black board and started writing on there.

"Don't listen to her lad." Coinneach whispered to me. I turned and looked at him.

"Thank you. For you know, standing up for me." I blushed slightly and looked away.

"No problem. I don't like bullying, so if you need me just call for me." He smiled at me again.

"How am I supposed to call you?" I mumbled shyly. He smiled bigger and grabbed his phone.

"Put your number in." I hesitantly reached for his phone.

"Are you sure?" I asked once I had his phone in my hand. He smiled and nodded.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He encouraged me to put in my number.

"Because I'm gay." I whispered quietly.

"So. That doesn't really explain who you are. That just says what you like." I smiled at him. I looked back at his phone and entered my name and number. I handed him back his phone. "I'll be sure to text you later." He said smiling at me. He captured my brown eyes and didn't look away. He still had his smile plastered on his flawless face.

'He smiles a lot.' I thought to myself.

"Alright class." I snapped out of my trace like gaze and turned my head away from Coinneach to look at what my teacher had to say. "With the person sitting next to you, you're going to a project. This sheet has everything you need to know about it. It'll be due in two weeks." He passed out a paper and everyone looked over it.

"I'll text you later so we can plan a day when we can get together and work on it." I went respond when the bell rang. "I hope I have more classes with you." He stood up and walked out.

I was still shocked that he wanted to have classes with me. I mean, why?

I sighed and stood up as I made my way to my second hour class, math.

The class went by slowly. Terribly slow. It continued like that the rest of the day. I found out I had two more classes with Coinneach. That made me happy in my world of depression.

I made my way to the bus stop and took the closest seat to the front. I sat there in silence before someone plopped down beside me.

"Looks like we both take the bus." Coinneach said chuckling a bit. I smiled. This is the most I've smiled in one day in a long time. It feels good.

"I guess we do."

~~~~~~

We rode in silence before we reached my stop. I stood up and was about to start walking when someone lightly grasped my wrist.

"I'll call you later, yeah?" I nodded and blushed slightly. He smiled and let go of me.

I walked off the bus and across the street to where my house was. More like where my own personal hell hole is.

I debated on going inside or going somewhere else. But where? I don't have anywhere to go.

I sighed and reluctantly walked up the front steps and into Hell.

I practically could feel the tension when I walked in. Everyone went quiet. No one looked at me. I quickly made my way to the stairs and walked up them skipping two at a time.

Before I came out, I would usually get a 'How was school?' Or 'Do you want a snack?' Now? Nothing. Just silence.

I slid my bag off my shoulder and placed it next to my desk. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. Four 'o clock. I layed on my bed and breathed comfortably. How did it get like this?

I jumped when my phone started ringing. Saying I was excited for Coinnech to call me was an understatement. But the persons name on my caller I.D. isn't what I hoped for.

"Hello?" I said weakly to the other person.

"Why did it take so fucking long to answer the phone?" He seethed. I coward down from the harsh tone in his voice.

'Why is he always mean to me? Why can't he be the nice guy I fell in love with again?'

"So-" I went to respond before he interrupted me.

"Get over here now." And he hung up. I got worried and afraid.

'I don't want to. I don't like being hurt. I don't want to be hurt. I want to be loved.'

I'm just grateful he doesn't go to my school. I stood from my bed and went downstairs.

"I'm heading over to Marcus's." I mumbled to my mom who sat in the living room.

"I didn't ask." She snapped back. It hurt me when she talked to me like that.

I hung my head and made my way outside.

~~~~~~~~~

Since I don't have a ride I walked to his house as fast as possible. Maybe he'll take it easy on me.

I walked up to the dull house and walked inside. I was greeted by a smack.

I remember when those smacks were kisses. Those kicks were hugs and the punches were smiles.

"What took so long?" He demanded.

"I had to walk here." He slapped me again.

"Don't make excuses." I felt my eyes burn.

'Don't cry.' I tell myself. I finder myself thinking it to much or saying it to much.

"Go upstairs." He pushed towards the stairs. I walked up Then and turned to walk into his room. My head hung low. "Undress."

"No, please." I desperately pleaded. "Please don't ma-"

"UNDRESS!" He yelled at me. My knees shook and my heart broke more and more.

I slid off my shirt while he watched. I chooked on a sob as I pulled my pants down, followed by my boxers.

"Lay on the bed." He commanded. I climbed on the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Marcus. Please don't," I pleaded.

"Shut up." He growled. Flipped me so I wad pressed into the bed. I felt tears starting to fall as he forced fully pushed inside me.

'Just ignore the pain Arlo. It'll be over soon.'

And it was. I was soon walking home crying. I can't take this much longer.

~~~~~~~

I reached my house and I owned the door quietly and quickly made my way to my room. Not even bothering to change into pajamas, I crawled into my bed and cried. I did a lot of crying these days. My eyelids grew heavy as I started to close my eyes I heard my phone buzz on my night stand. I groaned and picked it up.

Coinneach: I don't know if you're awake or not but sorry I didn't message earlier. I was getting settled still. Good night Arlo. :)

I set my phone down and smiled. Maybe he'll be the one to help me.

---------------

Alright guys, that's the newest story of mine out right now. It's going to be a sad one, so buckle up. I hope you guys like it! But, uh, yeah and enjoy.

~Nathan v['-']v