IMP File:

Target: Emberlynn Pinkle
Location: Boring suburbs, in a boring town Rockview USA
Description: Gothy 20 something
Info:
She shipped Scrimbleson with Shawnathan instead of Blorbinzo 7 years ago, and it's basically incest or something, not really but dis bitch seems really upset about it. Not really worth it? Give to Y/N?

——-

Y/N, Filmmaker, and Happy Amphibian crouch low in the dense brush, the leaves rustling slightly as they hide themselves from view. The quiet suburban neighborhood of Rockview is as dull as the file described, with identical houses lined up in neat rows, each with a perfectly manicured lawn. The air is still, with the only sounds being distant lawnmowers and the occasional chirp of birds.

Filmmaker holds the file in his hands, flipping through the pages with a bemused expression. His black-and-white-striped suit seems out of place in the mundane setting, but he doesn't seem to care. Happy Amphibian, meanwhile, is adjusting the straps on his oversized goggles, his large, webbed hands moving with practiced ease. He keeps a cheerful grin on his face, despite the absurdity of their mission.

Y/N sits between them, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His eyes dart around, taking in the surroundings with the hyper-awareness that comes from his autism. Despite the serene environment, he can't help but feel a sense of impending dread.

Filmmaker: (chuckling as he reads) You've gotta be kidding me. This chick got targeted because she shipped some fictional characters the wrong way? I mean, come on. (looks at Y/N) This seems like a job someone thought you'd enjoy, Y/N. You know, low stakes.

Y/N: (nervously) I-I don't know... I mean, it doesn't seem like she really did anything wrong. (pauses) Are we sure this is right?

Happy Amphibian: (in a chipper tone) Well, the client must have been really upset about it! Maybe it's about more than just a shipping war. You never know with these kinds of things.

Filmmaker: (smirking) Yeah, but I bet it's exactly as petty as it sounds. (he closes the file) Anyway, orders are orders, right? So, what's the plan, boss?

Y/N: (hesitant) M-Maybe we should just scare her? Not... not hurt her or anything. Just, you know, make sure she knows someone's upset with her.

Happy Amphibian: (nodding enthusiastically) Ooh, I like that idea! We could do something really spooky! Like... like turn her favorite show into a horror movie!

Filmmaker: (raising an eyebrow) You mean like, some "found footage" kind of scare? We could totally do that.

Y/N: (more confident now) Y-Yeah. We'll make it s-scary, but not... not too scary. Just enough to get the message across.

Filmmaker: (grinning) Alright, let's give the goth girl a little taste of horror. We'll keep it tame—well, tame by our standards. I'll get the cameras rolling.

Happy Amphibian: (happily) And I'll add some amphibious flair! Maybe some creepy, crawly swamp creatures!

Y/N: (nodding) O-Okay. Let's do this.

With a plan in mind, the trio quietly make their way out of the brush, sticking to the shadows as they approach the house. Filmmaker readies his gear, setting up small hidden cameras around the property. Happy Amphibian begins to conjure up some eerie swamp-like fog, filling the air with a damp, earthy scent. Y/N takes a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves.

Y/N: (quietly to himself) It's just a scare. N-No one's getting hurt...

Y/N gestures to Happy Amphibian to stay back and keep an eye on Emberlynn's parents downstairs. The amphibian nods, his wide eyes blinking slowly as he hides in the shadows. Y/N and Filmmaker make their way quietly around the side of the house, sticking close to the walls as they approach the living room window.

Y/N peeks through the window, seeing the parents comfortably watching TV, unaware of the intruders. He suppresses a nervous chuckle, trying to keep focused. They continue to the side of the house, where a large tree stands close to the second-floor windows. With a nod to Filmmaker, they both silently climb up, using the thick branches to reach the target's bedroom window.

Once they reach the window, Y/N carefully pushes it open and slips inside the room, followed by Filmmaker. The room is dimly lit, decorated with posters and merchandise from various anime and supernatural series. Emberlynn, their target, is engrossed in her laptop, completely oblivious to the intruders.

Y/N tiptoes closer, trying to calm his nerves as he gets ready to grab her. But just as Filmmaker raises his arm to use his film reel to snatch her, they're suddenly thrown back by a powerful, holy force field. The impact sends them flying, crashing into the ceiling before bouncing off and landing with a heavy thud back onto the floor. Some of the roof crumbles down, and the force field repels them, smacking Filmmaker right in his film projector face, knocking him out momentarily.

Emberlynn: (screams and falls over) AHHH! (then, noticing Y/N) Oh! (lovestruck) Ohh~

———

Meanwhile, downstairs, the noise catches the attention of Emberlynn's parents. They exchange irritated looks, assuming the worst.

Emberlynn's Dad: Ugh, must be watching them damn "hen-tays" again.

Emberlynn's Mom: Why won't she leave?!

At that moment, Happy Amphibian reveals himself from the shadows, his large eyes blinking as he awkwardly tries to explain the situation. He talks about the rising costs of living, rent, and the absurdly high gas prices, attempting to justify why young adults like Emberlynn have it so tough. But his sudden appearance only causes the parents to scream in terror.

Happy Amphibian: Aahh!

Reacting on instinct, Happy Amphibian panics and, in self-defense, lashes out, accidentally killing both parents. Their bodies slump to the ground, leaving Happy Amphibian wide-eyed.

Happy Amphibian: Whops...

———

Emberlynn: Oh my god! What... are you?

Y/N, flustered and trying to recover from the earlier impact, nervously starts to explain.

Y/N: I-I'm Y/N, and we... we're not here to hurt you, I promise! Just—just here to... uh...

Before he can finish, Filmmaker groggily gets back up, rubbing his film projector head. He notices the necklace around Emberlynn's neck, recognizing it as the source of the force field.

Filmmaker: (pointing) That necklace... What is that? Where did you even get something like that?

Emberlynn: (blushing and gushing) It's official merch from "Akuma no Otto." It's the pendant given to Setsuki in episode 5-6-9 that protects its wearer from—wait, are you demons? Like... real demons?

Filmmaker: (sighs) Yeah, basically. Just wanted to...

Before he can finish, Emberlynn's eyes widen with excitement, her mind racing.

Emberlynn: A demon? Here to steal a little kitten like me? (blushing) Forced to be part of your demonic harem?

Y/N: (freaks out) Wh-what? No! My harem is already full! I-I don't need more... I mean, I'm not even—

Filmmaker: (raising an eyebrow) Huh. Why d'you think we would do something like that?

Both Y/N and Filmmaker pause and look around the room, taking in all the monster lover and demon-themed merchandise lining the walls.

Y/N: Oh...my...god...

Filmmaker: (realizing) Ohhhh, you're one of those. Fuck...

Y/N: (nervously) This... this is getting weird...

Emberlynn: So, what's your name?

Y/N: (nervously) U-Uh... Y/N.

Emberlynn: What are you gonna do to me, Y/N-kun?

Y/N: (disturbed) Uh... nothing while you're wearing that.

Emberlynn: I don't feel like myself. Are- are you... putting some sort of- nasty spell over me?

Y/N: (freaked out) What? No, I'm literally just standing here, lady.

Emberlynn: If you say so, master. I mean... daddy. But when you look into my eyes, it's like I have no control over my... (pauses, then slaps him) No!

Y/N: (completely thrown off) W-What...

Emberlynn: You demonic brute! I'm too pure of heart for you to corrupt!

Y/N: (sighs with relief) Oh, thank Lucifer.

Emberlynn: Lucifer? Is that your lord? The one you plan to offer me to as a sexual sacrifice? (gasps) But once you have me, you realize you could never go through with it because I'm the only woman who could ever make you feel something after the loss of your wife!

Y/N: My wife?

Emberlynn: Your wife—who was the first one your lord Satan took as a concubine. But now you'd rather have me! And you'd rather fight him to the death than allow me to come to the same fate!

Y/N: :0

Filmmaker: 😒 I need a drink.

Y/N: (getting more freaked out by the second) Ew. Lady, look, we were sent here to kill you, alright? You shipped two characters online one time, someone didn't like it, they put a hit on you. I know it's extreme and unreasonable, but I don't make the rules.

Emberlynn: (dreamily) You want to kill... meee?

Y/N: (exasperated) Oh yeah. Even more now.

Emberlynn: (completely ignoring the context) Of course! You want to take my mortal soul to Hell so that we can be together forever!

Filmmaker: (finally interjecting, annoyed) Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you? We're demons, not... whatever weird fantasy you've got going on in that messed-up head of yours!

Y/N: (mumbling) This is so messed up...

Filmmaker: (crosses his arms, sighing) We don't have time for this crap. Let's just get rid of her and go.

Emberlynn: (still lost in her fantasy) Yes, take me! Take me to Hell! I'll be your demon queen, Y/N-kun!

Y/N: (visibly shuddering) This is officially the worst mission ever...

As Emberlynn continues to gush over her twisted fantasies involving Y/N, Filmmaker silently moves in from behind, aiming to end this ridiculous mission quickly. He pulls out a chainsaw, grinning darkly as it roars to life. But just as he swings it down, the holy force field surrounding Emberlynn flares up, and the chainsaw is thrown back, sending Filmmaker crashing into the wall. The chainsaw clatters to the floor, useless.

Emberlynn: (dreamily) Oh, Y/N-kun, I can see it now... we'll rule Hell together, side by side, in eternal darkness...

Y/N: (quietly, to himself) This is so wrong...

Filmmaker groans, rubbing his head. Determined, he picks up an axe and charges at Emberlynn again, only to be blasted back by the force field once more. The axe ricochets off and nearly embeds itself in Filmmaker's projector face, leaving a deep crack in the wall behind him.

Filmmaker: (muttering) Damn it...

Still not giving up, Filmmaker grabs a sledgehammer and swings it down with all his might, only to be launched into the ceiling, crashing through the roof and landing back on the floor with a painful thud. Emberlynn doesn't even notice; she's too busy fantasizing about Y/N.

Emberlynn: (blushing) And then, Y/N, you'll rescue me from my boring life and take me to your dark realm where I'll be your queen...

Y/N: (whispering) Somebody, please kill me now...

Not one to be outdone, Filmmaker grabs a buzzsaw and goes at the force field again, but the saw sparks wildly and sputters out, throwing Filmmaker into the wall yet again. He then tries a blowtorch, which backfires, scorching his own clothes and forcing him to drop it.

Growing more frustrated, Filmmaker leaves the room, returns with a rope, and tries to lasso her, only to be yanked off his feet and slammed into the floor repeatedly by the force field's unexpected recoil.

Finally, utterly fed up, Filmmaker leaves the house altogether. He marches down the street, flags down a taxi, and gets in. The taxi takes him to the airport, where he boards a plane bound for Amity Bay. Once there, he took another taxi, then transferred to a boat, ventures into the ocean, and somehow manages to steal the infamous shark from Jaws.

5 Hours later, he returns to the house, dragging the massive, thrashing shark behind him. He grins maniacally as he positions the shark, ready to unleash it on Emberlynn. But as the shark lunges, the force field activates again, sending the shark flying into the wall, where it gets stuck halfway through, flailing uselessly as it hangs there.

Filmmaker collapses to the floor in defeat, panting heavily. Emberlynn still hasn't noticed any of this. She's completely absorbed in her fantasies, now imagining herself in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle to Y/N.

Emberlynn: (sighing) Oh, Y/N-kun, our love will conquer all...

Y/N: (trembling) This is the worst... just the worst...

Filmmaker: (lying flat on the floor) I give up. I... officially... give up.

Y/N's discomfort intensifies as Emberlynn's fantasies grow more bizarre and disturbing. His hands tremble slightly, his anxiety peaking as he tries to find a way out of this increasingly awkward and unsettling situation. Emberlynn, oblivious to his distress, continues talking, her voice a dreamy sing-song.

Emberlynn: (blushing) And then we'll have our dark wedding, with all the demons of Hell as our guests... Oh, Y/N-kun, you'll be such a handsome groom...

Y/N: (muttering) Please, no more...

Just as Y/N is about to reach his breaking point, the Happy Amphibian sticks his head into the room, a goofy grin on his face.

Happy Amphibian: Hey, uh, we might wanna be leaving now.

Y/N: (grasping for any escape) Why? What happened?

Happy Amphibian: Well, I, uh, popped some popcorn in the boiler... added a little too much butter... and now it's making a funny noise, so—

Before he can finish the sentence, there's a deafening explosion. The entire house erupts in flames, debris flying everywhere as the walls crumble and the roof blows off. The blast hurls Y/N, Filmmaker, and Happy Amphibian out of the house, leaving them lying in the street, covered in ash and soot.

Y/N's ears ring, his vision blurred as he tries to comprehend what just happened. Emberlynn's endless stream of words is mercifully cut off, replaced by the sound of crackling flames and falling debris. The world around him feels distant, the only thing he can hear is a high-pitched ringing.

Filmmaker: (coughing, spitting out ash) What... the... hell?

Happy Amphibian: (dusting himself off) Well, that went about as well as expected.

Y/N: (stunned, still hearing the ringing) I... I can't... What just...?

The three of them sit up slowly, covered in soot, and stare at the smoldering ruins of the house. Emberlynn is nowhere to be seen, likely vaporized by the explosion, or at least they hope so. The only sounds now are the faint crackling of the fire and Y/N's ringing ears.

Happy Amphibian: (cheerfully) I think we got her!

Filmmaker: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah. Totally. Mission accomplished. Perfect execution, really.

Y/N just sits there in shock, the ringing in his ears slowly fading, replaced by the realization that somehow, in the most absurd and terrifying way possible, they actually completed the mission.

Y/N: (weakly) Let's... let's just go home...

The trio slowly stands up, shaking off the ash and dust, and begins to trudge away from the smoking ruins of the house.

Y/N: So...she's dead...YES!!!!!

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

———

Y/N: (into the phone, still shaken) Yeah, it's done. So, uh, you can go ahead and wire me that money now, and I'll go ahead and... never think about this night ever again.

Filmmaker: And you owe us triple for pain and suffering!!!

Just as Y/N hangs up the phone, a shrill, all-too-familiar voice echoes outside the I.M.P office window.

Emberlynn: (outside, as a sinner demon) I'm heeere, Y/N-kuuun!! I saw your billboard! I'm here for you, my love! I'll be by your side forever! Y/N KUUUN!!!!

Filmmaker: (annoyed) Oh, for the love of— How did she even manage to get here?!

Y/N's eyes widen in horror as he peeks out the window. Emberlynn, now a sinner demon, is standing outside, her eyes wide with twisted adoration as she calls out to him.

Y/N: (disturbed and uncomfortable) Oh no... no, no, no, no, no!

Filmmaker: (annoyed, rubbing his temples) Are you freaking kidding me? After all that, she's still here?

Emberlynn: Y/N-kuuun, I'm here! We're destined to be together in Hell! Forever and ever and ever!

Y/N slumps against the wall, his nerves shot, completely overwhelmed by this bizarre and horrifying situation.

Y/N: (groaning) Why is this happening to me?

Filmmaker: (exasperated) This is why I hate humans. They always find a way to make everything worse, even when they're dead.

Loona: (snarling) I'll take care of this...

Loona storms toward the door, fully intent on handling the situation herself.