(Y/N): *yawns*

(Y/N) stretches his arms and legs. After taking a hot shower and brushing his teeth, he puts on clean clothes and makes his way downstairs. As he makes his way to the lobby, he sees the girls there.

(Y/N): Morning, girls.

Charlie: (Y/N), your awake! Are you ready to start your new job?

(Y/N): You mean my first day of being an assassin? I don't know. I'm still not sure if I'm even qualified for this job.

Charlie: I'm sure you'll do just fine.

(Y/N): I guess.

Bendi: By the way, Tennyson. Have you decided to become our mate yet?

(Y/N): 😑 Oh, that.

Bendi: Well?

(Y/N): I guess I can give it a shot.

Bendi: Excellent! You will make a suitable mate for us.

Alastra: I agree.

Angela Dust: Same here.

(Y/N): Anyway, I'm gone. Bye.

Charlie: Bye, (Y/N). Have fun killing people!

(Y/N): *rolling his eyes* I will.

(Y/N) gets in his car and drives off to his new job. Meanwhile, Charlie turns her attention to the rest of the girls.

Charlie: Girls...

Girls: Hm?

Charlie: Let's talk about you guys spying on me and (Y/N) yesterday.

Girls💭:

https://youtu.be/kkDMz2ml0gw

*Intro*

https://youtu.be/Zecv472To1Y

[The scene opens with a shot of Imp City that slowly zooms in on the I.M.P building. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background. The DX Mark 10 is seen racing down the street until it arrives at its destination.]

(Y/N): This must be the place.

(Y/N) then sees a black van with the "I.M.P" logo on it.

The side door to the van slides open, revealing two imps, an imp and a hellhound in the driver and passenger seats.

Blitza: Alright guys, I have big news to share!

Moxxie: What would that be?

Blitza: You'll know when he gets here.

Moxxie: He?

(Y/N): Hey Blitza, who are your friends?

The four demons turn to (Y/N), who was standing there waving at them.

Blitza: Ah, (Y/N). So glad you can make it.

Moxxie: Ma'am, what is the human doing here?

Blitza: That's the big news. Guys, this is (Y/N) Tennyson, our newest employee.

Moxxie, Millie, and Loona: What?!

(Y/N): That's right. I'm your new co-worker. Names (Y/N), (Y/N) Tennyson.

Loona walks up to (Y/N).

Loona: This scrawny puke is working here?!

(Y/N): I'm a foot and a half taller than you, but whatever.

Loona: What was that, you little shit.

(Y/N): I said I can't hear you from down there, you flea-ridden bitch.

Loona💭: I like him already.

Blitza: (Y/N), this is my adoptive daughter, Loona. *points to Moxxie* That bitch over there is Moxxie.

Moxxie: Hey!

Blitza: And this little she-devil is Millie.

Millie: Nice to meet you, sugar~.

(Y/N): Nice to meet you all. I believe you heard of me on the news.

Millie: Yes, we have. I must say, that was brave of you to save our boss. How'd you do it?

(Y/N): *shows the Omnitrix* It's because of this watch.

Moxxie: What is it?

(Y/N): It's called the Omnitrix. It's a watch-like device that allows me to turn into aliens.

Blitza: It's true.

Millie: Aliens? Mind showing us.

(Y/N): Maybe later, I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

Blitza: Alright, enough dicking around. We have a meeting to start.

(Timeskip)

[a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it on a closed door labeled "IMP Headquarters".]

[The light flickers as the camera zooms in on the door. Inside, Blitza is walking in front of a whiteboard on the wall as she lectures her employees.]

Blitza: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... *looks at Moxxie* Moxxie.

[Moxxie gives her an incredulous look in response.]

Blitza: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Millie: *eyes sparkling* What about a car wash?

(Y/N): They do car washes in hell?

Blitza: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? *thinks for a second* Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

[She waves her hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.]

Moxxie: *rolls eyes* We can't afford a billboard, ma'am.

Blitza: *wraps her arm over Moxxie's shoulder* Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. *pushes Moxxie away* Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

[Blitza turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitza whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, Blitza, and (Y/N) eating popcorn.]

Blitza: Ahh, those were the good times.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, ma'am. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Blitza: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Blitza: Exactly, Millie! Doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre days like my dad did?

Moxxie: Ma'am--

Blitza: 'Cause, right now? All I see is dad asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

(Y/N): Damn

Millie: Are you tryin' to crush her dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Millie: *flirtatiously* I thought I knew you.

[She playfully sticks her tongue out at her as Moxxie blushes and rolls her eyes affectionately.]

Blitza: I can't believe you, Moxxie!

[She tearfully holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it.]

Blitza: After I made you employee of the month!

(Y/N): *snickers*

Moxxie: *defeated* Okay, ma'am! I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody likes the jingles!

Millie: I liked it.

(Y/N): I think it's catchy.

Moxxie: Do not-- *points at Millie and (Y/N)* Do not agree with her in front of me!

[The scene cuts to the I.M.P. commercial.]

Blitza: Hi, there! I'm Blitza! The "a" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!

[She gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears.]

[Two pictures of Blitza in different scenarios show while she speaks. The first shows her wearing two top hats through her horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears. The second shows Blitza wearing an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it.]

Blitza: Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!

[The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitza holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!"]

Demon Guy: After lovingly killing my wife for *in demonic voice* fucking a deliveryman, *normal voice* you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could stick it to that *in demonic voice* yappy jogger *normal voice* who saw me hiding the body!

[Blitza is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a pentagram. While she speaks, her eyes narrow as she does a magical gesture with her hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie run off in surprise. She tosses the grimoire aways as she walks up to the portal.]

Blitza: (to camera) Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive! *falls backwards into the portal*

[The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background.]

Singer: ♫ When you want somebody gone, ♫

[A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.]

Singer: ♫ and you don't want to wait too long ♫

[Moxxie, Blitza, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitza holds her arms out as Moxxie holds up his rifle and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The trio together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.]

Singer: ♫ call the Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

[Blitza, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The trio cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying.]

Singer: ♫ Hand grenade or cyanide, ♫

[Blitza is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note.]

Singer: ♫ We'll make it look like suicide ♫

[Blitza is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.]

Singer: ♫ The Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

[The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitza creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. She is followed by Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.]

Singer: ♫ We do our job so well, ♫

[The trio come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves.]

Singer: ♫ Because, we come straight out from Hell! ♫

[The I.M.P. trio suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. A female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion and/or fear. One bearded man, however, has his head laid back as he sleeps with earbuds in.]

[Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, and Blitza examines a pair of panties.]

Singer: ♫ We'll kill your husband or your wife ♫

[Blitza stabs someone toed to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression.]

Singer: ♫ We'll even let you keep the knife ♫

[A quick sequence then shows the trio assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the trio are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman looking at her phone from behind.]

Singer: ♫ We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession-- ♫

[Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.]

Eddie: AUUUGH!

[The boy collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock. Blitza and Millie turn their eyes to Moxxie in surprise.]

[Cuts to a hospital operating room. The boy is wheeled in on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse.]

Pink-haired Nurse: *in masculine voice* Doctor, he's not responding!

Blue-haired Nurse: Cool water, stat!

[The pink-haired nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water, doing nothing but leave a large welt on his face.]

Blue-haired Nurse: It didn't do anything!

[The boys tongue flops down from his mouth.]

Doctor: Dammit! I'm not losing another one.

[Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy.]

Doctor: CLEAR!

[They all zap the boy and he wakes up.]

Eddie: *gasps*

Doctor: Holy shit! It actually worked.

[Blitza, Millie, and Moxxie are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitza is reading a magazine, while Millie comforts Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard.]

Doctor: He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. *looks up from clipboard* Now, what insurance provider do you freaks have?

Blitza: The fuck is insurance?

[A shot of the outside of the hospital is shown, as a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, and Blitza are holding on for dear life as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitza's foot. Blitza slams her face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.]

[A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown.]

Singer: ♫ Kids die for freeeeeee! ♫

[The scene cuts back to the boardroom. Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has her feet up and is watching a video on her phone of Moxxie getting hurt.]

(Y/N): You guys killed a kid?!

Moxxie: I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple.

Loona: *not looking up* Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie.

Moxxie: YOU sit on a dick and DO YOUR JOB!!

Loona: If its (Y/N)s, I would.

(Y/N): What?!

Blitza: Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?!

[Blitza hugs and nuzzles Loona, who snarls at her in response.]

Blitza: She didn't do anything wrooooong~

Moxxie: ...Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!

(Y/N): How so?

Moxxie: Well...

[The scene cuts to a flashback of Loona at her desk, reading a magazine called "Hellhound Monthly". Her desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone. Loona answers.]

Loona: *not looking up* Hello, I.M.P.

Millie: (on phone, panicked) Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox--

[Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation. Next, she is in Blitza's office as she presents her with a gift.]

Blitza: Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'.

Loona: Is it a cure for syphilis?

Blitza: I... Oh...

[Loona snatches the present and angrily slams it on the floor.]

Loona: THEN, I DON'T WANT IT!

[A large swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and swarm Loona up to her neck.]

Loona: UGHHH!

Blitza: *suddenly hiding outside of the office window* I'm sorry! It was spiders!

Loona: *annoyed, deadpan* Goddammit.

[Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie Magne performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow". Moxxie approaches her with a flyer for "Chub B Gone".]

Moxxie: Um, e- excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?

Loona: No.

Moxxie: Wha-- Why- Why would anyone send me this?

Loona: C'mon... *looks up at Moxxie* You know why.

[The next scene shows Loona rummaging through the break room fridge.]

Loona: Whoever left the fucking... avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now!

[Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. She rips off the lid and drinks the salad.]

Millie: Why would you drink on a work night?

Loona: *stops drinking* I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!

[Moxxie enters the room and notices Loona with her box.]

Moxxie: Isn't that my lunch?

Loona: *drops the box on the floor* Y'know what?! I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some-

[She kicks the box at Moxxie, knocking her out of the room and surprising Millie.]

Loona: -fucking steam!

[Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street.]

Loona: AAAAAAAAAAH!

[Loona runs up to a succubus lady passing by on the other side of the street, pushing her baby in a stroller. Loona kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief. The scene transitions to Loona at her desk, telling Blitza about a caller.]

Loona: Bliiiitza! That clingy, rich bitch is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Sounds a little DTF-y.

[Cuts to Blitza and Moxxie standing by a water cooler.]

Blitza: *throws her cup of water on the floor* Oh, GOD, it was one time! *crosses arms* If I hadn't slept with that privileged cunt, none of us would have access to the living world.

Moxxie: *stares in stunned silence* ...You what?

[The scene cuts to a flashback of Stolara sleeping naked in bed. She is hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitza, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand.]

Blitza: *to herself* Got the booook, got the booook! Got this fuckin' heavy book!

[Blitza reaches Stolara balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. Grunting, she attempts to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends both her and the grimoire falling forward off of the balcony.]

Blitza: Oh- Oh, SHIT!!

[Blitza lands on the cake that Stolaras wife and her friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them.]

Blitza: Oof! (to Stella) Sorry, I fucked your wife.

[The scene cuts back to Loona at her desk.]

Loona: BLIIIITZA!

Blitza: I HEARD YOU ALREA--!

[The scene cuts to Blitza in her office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie.]

Blitza: Sooooo, what can I do you for this time, Stolara?

[Stolara is shown talking on her phone from a fancy mansion.]

Stolara: There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!

Blitza: Doesn't it?

Stolara: Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~

Blitza: Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense.

Stolara: (through phone) You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy?

[Blitza pulls her phone away and talks to herself.]

Blitza: (under her breath) God-fuckin'-dammit.

Stolara: When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to eat that red **** of yours... **** your ***** and lick all of your *****, before taking out your *****, and **** with more teeth until you're screaming ***** like a FUCKING baby--!

[Blitza, who's visibly disturbed, hangs up. She snaps her cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, tosses said desk phone away, pulls out a blender, puts the cellphone pieces in it, and blends them. Blitza turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.]

Blitza: Eat this!

[Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture.]

Blitza: And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?

Loona: Yeah?

Blitza: Shit off it!

[The flashback ends, and Blitza is standing by Loona.]

(Y/N): Holy shit.

Moxxie: Exactly.

Blitza: Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family.

(Y/N): That's right. Family is the number one priority. *thoughts* Wish I could say the same myself.

Blitza: Exactly, (Y/N).

[Loona looks up from her phone and briefly smiles, touched by Blitza's and (Y/N)'s words.]

Moxxie: We aren't a family, ma'am! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!

[As Moxxie rants, Loona continues looking at her phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off.]

Blitza: That is offensive! Without homeless people, *walks over to window and raises blinds* I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!

(Y/N): You what?

[Blitza puts her face up against the window, cracking the glass, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A succubus is on her cellphone and turns away from the hobo. Blitza smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.]

Moxxie: While we're on the subject of [makes air quotes with his hands] "family", can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?

(Y/N): She does what?!

Millie: Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal!

Moxxie: Excuse me... WHAT?!

(Y/N): Same here, what?!

[The scene cuts to a flashback of Moxxie and Millie preparing dinner in their kitchen.]

Moxxie: Honey, can you get me the butter?

Millie: Sure, sweetie.

[Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzo inside as he hands her the gross, viscous butter.]

Blitza: Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!

Millie: *giggles*

Moxxie: *throws the diced carrots into the soup* What's funny, honey?

Blitza: Really impressive wordplay.

Moxxie: WHAT THE--?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!?!

[Later that evening, Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens her eyes and sees Blitza standing on her, looking her right in the eyes.]

Blitza: Whatcha dreamin' about?

Moxxie: I was dreaming my parents were being murdered, but now... I'd like to go back to that.

[In the next scene, Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts.]

Moxxie: ♫ Of all the imps in Hell, it's for her that I fell ♫

♫ It's for her that I fell ♫

Millie: *harmonizing* ♫ It's for her that I fell ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Oh, Millie~ ♫

[They close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitza outside the window holding a camcorder.]

Moxxie: Are you fucking filming us right now?!

[The flashback ends as we cut back to the board room.]

Moxxie: Just... stop... doing that!

Blitza: *shrugs* I don't see what the issue is! There somethin' you don't want me seein'?

Moxxie: *eye twitches in anger* No!

Loona: *snickers*

(Y/N):

https://youtu.be/xYJ63OTMDL4

Blitza: You a tight-pussy-haver?

Moxxie: Ma'am, what you say and how you act is totally *stands up from her chair* INAPPROPRIATE!

Millie: *lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder* Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!

Moxxie: I AM CALM!

[Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitza]

Millie: *comforting Moxxie* Shh-shh-shh. There, there.

Blitza: Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff *motions her hands to imply sexual activity* you do outside work hours. So, don't... judge me!

Moxxie: Oh, I do judge you, ma'am! Quite a lot, actually!

Millie: Mox, she's our boss!

Blitza: No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your wife is just... how do I say this without being offensive?

Blitza: *smiling smugly* ...retarded.

Moxxie: Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?

Blitza: *leans towards Moxxie* It actually does.

Loona: The only reason you have a wife *looks away from her phone to glare at Moxxie* is because you're easy to manage!

[Millie slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger.]

Millie: No, she's not, you BITCH! *flips Loona the double bird*

[Loona growls at Millie.]

Blitza: Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!

Loona: [*snaps at Millie* Yes, I am!

(Y/N)💭: What the hell am I subjected to?

Eddie: (offscreen) You guys are all fucking assholes.

[Blitza, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, and (Y/N)'s eyes all widen in surprise. They look at Eddie, the boy Moxxie accidentally shot earlier. Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.]

(Y/N): Holy shit! He's alive.

Blitza: Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!

Moxxie: *pinches bridge of her nose* Ugh, this company is such a mess!

Blitza: Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit.

Loona: Nobody was talking about that!

(Y/N): I agree.

Blitzo: Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?

Eddie: *points at Blitza* It's been a literal hell *detaches the tubes of the heart monitor* having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want death!

[He once again points at Blitza.]

Eddie: You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!

Moxxie: Hey, now! That's not very--

[Eddie interrupts Moxxie, intimidating her.]

Eddie: If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit.

[Millie slams her hand on the table, the other gesturing at Moxxie.]

Millie: That's my wife you're talkin' to!

Eddie: *laughs* That's your wife?!

[Moxxie and Millie snarl at Eddie.]

Eddie: I figured you for a slut. But, I didn't know you needed dick that bad! *points at Loona* And you!

Loona: What? *looks up from her phone* What about me?

Eddie: Nothing. *crosses arms* I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person.

[Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone.]

Eddie: *points to (Y/N)* And you!

(Y/N): 🤨 What about me?

Eddie: Your cool.

(Y/N): Hm.

Blitza: Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit.

Everyone, in unison: *softly* Yeah. He's kind of a piece of shit.

[Loona's eyes widen as she receives a text message.]

Loona: Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all.

Blitzo: Who?

Loona: *points at Eddie* Him.

Eddie: (in disbelief) Me?

Loona: *smugly, without looking up* Yup.

Blitzo: They wanted us to kill an actual child?

Loona: That's what they're sayin'.

Blitzo: ...Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God.

[Blitzo draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie, killing him instantly.]

Eddie: OWWWW!

(Y/N): 😨 Did I just watch a kid get shot in front of me?!

Blitza: Yes, you did.

[Blood covers the screen, then reveals Blitza and Moxxie kicking Eddie's corpse, Millie stabbing him, Loona recording everything on her phone, and (Y/N) watching it happen.]

Blitza: (voiceover) Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!

[Blitza and Moxxie are shown wearing full hazard gear, dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag.]

Blitza: (voiceover) So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares.

[As Blitza does the voiceover, she hugs Moxxie, Millie, Loona, and (Y/N) the latter's phone flying out of her hands.]

Blitza: Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that *wraps her tail lovingly around the group* we handle this going forward respectfully.

[The group all smile as the scene cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says, "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"]

Eddie's mother: *sobbing* Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at--

[Eddie's bloody body bag suddenly falls into her arms.]

Eddies mother: *terrified* OHHH!

[Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Blitza, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal.]

Blitza: *smiles and waves* You're welcome!

[The trio disappear in the portal as it closes.]

(Timeskip)

After dealing with the kid, it was time to go home. (Y/N) made it to his car, but was stopped by Blitza.

Blitza: So kid, what did you think of your first day?

(Y/N): Well, that depends.

Blitza: On what?

(Y/N): On whether or not to quit while I'm ahead?

Blitza: Oh, come on. It's not that bad, besides, you killed those thugs to save me.

(Y/N): I guess.

Blitza: Anyway, see you tomorrow, cutie~.

(Y/N) nods and drives off. Leaving Blitza, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona at the parking lot.

Blitza: So, what do you think of the new guy?

Millie: A real charmer and ladies' man in my opinion.

Moxxie: He seems like a nice guy.

Loona: He's okay, I guess.

Blitza: Well, today was fun. See y'all tomorrow.

They all drove home for the night. As (Y/N) makes it to the hotel, he parks his car outside and enters the lobby.

(Y/N): I'm home.

Alastra: Welcome back, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Howdy, where's everyone else?

Alastra: Charlie, Vaggie, Angela, and Niffty went out for the evening. Bendi left to go take care of business at Joey Drew Studios, and Husky went to the BlackJack Casino. So I guess it's just you and me for the night.

(Y/N): So what do you want to do?

Alastra: Well, I made some jambalaya if you want any. If you don't, you can take a shower to get ready for the night. What do want to do first?

(Y/N): *shrugs*

Alastra: If you want, you can have me~.

Alastra shows off a little of her cleavage to (Y/N), making him blush.

(Y/N): Nah, I'll have dinner. Thanks anyway.

Alastra:

https://youtu.be/6S21ZSsC21U

*Outro*

https://youtu.be/yzVQkO92wNw