A.J. P.O.V.

"A.J., talk to me, please," Auntie begged. I hung up the phone and went back to drawing. I wrote Willow Justice Hitachiin on everything: my clothes, notebooks, bags, my skin. I stared at the piece of paper; it was a set of footprints with wings around it. Above it were roses, and below it was a ribbon with Willow Justice Hitachiin written inside. At the very bottom of the page, I scrawled 04/28/14, the day I had lost him. It had been three months since that horrible day, and it wasn't getting any better. I hadn't spoken to any of my friends or family, and I barely spoke to my husband and children. It was a struggle to get out of bed-- just breathing agonized me. I didn't want to live, but I knew I had to. When would it end? When would I heal? The answer was never. I knew that, but I also knew that I should be able to get up and take care of my children, myself; I should be continuing my life. The world stops for no one. 

Hikaru P.O.V.

"What do I do with her?" I asked, resting my head in my hands. We were on campus for our finals, and Kaoru and I had met outside in the courtyard. "What do you mean 'what do I do with her'? You guys lost your baby. It took a toll on everyone, her especially. You just have to give her time," he snapped. "Time?" I scoffed. "It's been three months! I don't expect her to be happy and carefree and making the most of life, but oh my God! I have to force her to eat, she doesn't sleep. She barely interacts with Lily and Rose. She says no more than ten words to me every day, and she's completely given up on Heart of Saint Evangeline. She locks herself in the room all day and all night, and doesn't speak to anybody. I'm scared for her, Kaoru." I was almost in tears, and Kaoru put a comforting arm around me. "I know you are," he sighed apologetically. "We all are...but there's nothing we can do. You can't help someone who doesn't want help." 

I nodded, getting up and heading to the car with Kaoru. "Maybe you should talk to her about going to therapy," he suggested. I mulled it over for a minute. What could possibly go wrong? "Yeah," I agreed. "Therapy would be a good thing for her." Now the only problem would be getting her out of the house to set up an appointment. 

*time skip*

"Hikaru...you said we were going to my aunt's," A.J. said, looking at the cozy little building suspiciously. "Well, I lied!" I replied, grinning and jumping out of the SUV. I came around to her side and opened the door. "Hikaru?" I unbuckled her and lifted her out of the passenger seat, tossing her over my shoulder. She screamed, flailing her legs and pounding on my back. "Hikaru, stop! Menteur! Connard! Me mettre vers le bas!! I'm gonna kill you, yeah! On God, I'ma beat you if you don't set me down." I laughed, dropping her into a chair in the waiting room. I filled out her basic information on the sign-in sheet before going to sit down beside her. "That's the most you've said to me in a while," I whispered. She opened her mouth to retort, but closed it again, a light blush creeping up her cheeks. She read the sign on the wall: Noko Psychiatric Center. After several minutes, she mumbled, "I'm sorry, Hikaru. I don't know what else to say." I squeezed her hand gently. "Don't. You just need help. Everyone needs a little help sometimes," I smiled, kissing her hand. There was a spark in her eyes, a glint of light there. For the first time in a long time, there was life in her eyes.

A woman in a pale blue skirt and a white button up opened the door. Her dark hair was pulled into a bun and her glasses were on top of her head. She looked at Adrienne and smiled warmly. "Mrs. Hitachiin, you can come with me," she announced. A.J. looked at me, then at the doctor. I smiled and nudged her gently. She got up, taking grudging steps forward. The woman waited patiently. "We'll be back soon, Mr. Hitachiin. Just sit tight," she said, guiding A.J. down the hall with her. The door shut with a soft click, and I started to fidget nervously.

A.J. P.O.V.

The room she brought me to had a small plaque on the door that read: Dr. Amy Ishida. "So what brings you to see me?" she asked, taking a seat behind her desk. The room was a muted shade of green, all of the furniture made of cherry oak and brown leather. I sat down hesitantly, taking in all of the small ornaments and pictures that decorated her office. "I-I lost my ba-baby a few months ago," I stammered. "And I'm having a hard time mo-mmm-moving on." She smiled slightly and pointed out a picture on her desk. It was her, a tall man with bright blue hair, and a little girl with pigtails. "That is my daughter Nova. I had her after I lost my first daughter, Starr. I had carried to full-term and she was completely healthy. While in labor, the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and strangled her to death. I was inconsolable. I became severely depressed, and I attempted suicide twice. Two years later, I had Nova. Do you know what a baby is called after a baby is lost?" I shook my head and she continued.

"It's called a rainbow baby. Like a rainbow after the storm, a rainbow baby is a baby born after tragedy." I stared at her, shaking a bit. "Wh-what did you do in those two years though? How did you heal?" I asked desperately. She put her glasses on and leaned back in her chair. "I was a mess. Everything seemed hopeless. I felt like I had no reason to live," she confessed. I deflated a bit. "Like I said before, I had attempted suicide. I was sent to a psychiatric hospital. My doctor told me to make closure with my deceased child. I thought he was full of it, but he was right. What I want you to do is get up every morning and write about one thing you are grateful for. Keep a journal, and bring it to our sessions. Also, when you feel upset about the baby, write to them. Write letters. It helps make the loss more solid, and it makes it easier to come to peace with it." I took in her advice, breaking it down and putting it back together in my mind. "So...when did you realize it stopped hurting?" She laughed at my question. "It never stops hurting. I'm sure even your husband is still pained by the loss of your child. However, I did these things that I'm telling you to do, and I slowly started to see that even though Starr was gone, I was not. I did not die, even when I tried to do off with myself, so that must mean I was here for some reason. Now look at me. I am here with you, helping you with the same thing I went through. I have a child who needs me, and I can't let her down. So, I make it through every day. I still think about her every day, but I'm happy now. People can offer to help you all they want, but at the end of the day, you have to be your own superhero. You're the only one who can save you from the things that go through your head."

I left Dr. Ishida's office with a new point of view on life. I talked the whole way home, telling Hikaru all about my visit with my new therapist. "Your appointments will be on Mondays?" he verified. I nodded, blushing slightly as I realized that I was holding his hand. He grinned, squeezing my hand gently. "This is the most contact I've had with you in a while," he murmured. I know he didn't mean it in a bad way, but I suddenly felt really guilty. Had I really been neglecting everyone around me? I smiled brightly-- a genuine, joyful smile-- and replied, "I have a feelin' everything is gonna change."

***Menteur = liar, connard = shithead/asshole (in this context it is asshole), and Me mettre vers la bas! = Put me down!***