mom and bucket :))
contains: bucket and мама

y/n
i know your identities now
it was partly my genius
partly your friends

bucket
you whAT

y/n
never mind that
it's not relevant anymore
but what is relevant is that mom you said you would get joint custody of me when your identities got revealed

bucket
back the fuck up
you know who we are because of WHO

y/n
your friends but that's not important
.
mom?

bucket
she literally just ran to her car screaming "IM GOING TO GET THE CUSTODY PAPERS"
so you won't get an answer from her for a while
back to the more important thing at hand
more specifically which friends???

y/n
the avengers
they hacked my phone to make sure i wasn't a threat
long story short i have a new best friend and i've scared the avengers

bucket
h o w

y/n
um

bucket
y/n

y/n
it was like 4 things i said

bucket
y/n what did you say

y/n
um,,, i said
1. that my goal was to be in a coffin in ten years max
2. i work for hydra, as a joke to be clear
3. that my hobby was therapy, which is partially true
4. i told them a story about a mugger i made run for his life
.
so bruce is worried for my mental health

bucket
wait
you go to therapy

y/n
do i sound like i'm mentally stable to you ??

bucket
idk i've never heard you speak before

y/n
bruh
sometimes you can be so dumb
but with a face as pretty as yours you can get away with anything; so you'll be okay

bucket
um
rude

мама
i have the papers and i'm currently on my way to your house to talk this over with your parents
can you tell i'm excited?

y/n
how do you know where i live ?
you know what never mind
you're a spy i don't want to know whose toes you had to break to figure it out all i care about is that i'm about to meet my chosen mom

мама
i'm here

y/n
YAY

2 minute later

bucket
hello?
ʳᵉᵃᵈ