Author's note: This chapter is short and delayed because I am once again in hospital. They say if you fall off a horse, you have to get back on again (I think?) but what happens when you are flung sideways on your bike which results in being unconscious with skin missing from various limbs, a missing fingernail and so much muscle damage you can't walk? You don't get back on for a while (at least I won't be). Happy reading!
-Ace xo

"Hi."

"Good morning."

There's a million things that come to my head when I look at Roger Taylor, most of them PG rated. The forever smell of velvet soap, the sensation of his rough fingertips on my collarbone, waking up to him playing with my hair. I would never stop experiencing these, even in our later years.

I could lay on his chest in silence forever, just breathing with him. For a single morning, everything in the outside world was on pause and we were tucked away in our own universe. His left hand on my ribs and his right hand in mine, his lips remained pressed on my hair. Moments like these reminded me why I tolerated his long periods of absences. Why I tolerate him.

"What are you thinkin' about, honey?" He whispered, tapping a rhythm against my ribs so gently I could barely feel it. What was I thinking about? I was thinking about everything.

In only five months we'd have our own child keeping us awake. We'd have an entire tiny human, incapable of almost everything, relying on us completely for everything. They would look like us and learn from us. They would love us and we would love them, regardless of how they looked. I wanted them in my arms then and there, but I was also scared.

"I'm paralysed by the thought that maybe I'm not ready to be a mum? Am I ready? Will I be a decent parent?" My voice felt unsteady and strained in my throat. I sat up and turned to face him. He ran a hand through my hair, resting it on my shoulder.

"Lulu, you will be absolutely perfect."

Roger didn't need to say anything more. No speech was needed, just the sincere look of support in his eyes. I kissed him slowly, returning to my original position.

"I need the same words, Luce. I need you to tell me it will be okay."

I squeezed his hand and kissed it, resting it on my chest.

"Honey, I can't tell you it's all going to be okay. Because, to tell you the truth, you are going to find this to be one of the hardest things you've ever done. You will be tired, you will be a salty asshole some days, you will have moments where you think you just can't do it anymore. Baby, you will be torn apart over having responsibility over an entire human but he or she will love you. They will love you so much. It's not going to be a magical smooth ride full of hugs and restful nights but I promise you, I will be there with you every step of the way. I'll carry you and I will hold your hand. I will love you. I know that's not much, but it's all I have."

I waited in silence for what felt like a decade, feeling him breathe underneath me.

"I love you, Lucy May."

"I love you too, Roger Taylor."

The next morning, I woke up without him. Instead, I woke up with a heavy emptiness sprinkled in suffocating silence. I was alone again.