WARNING: There will be singing from most of the Banana Bus Crew. ~HoodiniClown 

The building was dark, even the bright lighting didn't make it look any lighter. 

You may even think the building is completely empty, but oh, are you wrong my darling. 

Laughter erupts from the building, the most psychopathic ever. The couple inside panic after the so called, "Time Warp". "Who is that?" Lauren whimpers as she clings onto Brock. 

A man or... woman(?) Comes down a flight a steps. They have on shiny high heel boots and a really tight, leather, dark blue dress. Her/His head has kind of a buzz cut. Black lipstick and blue eye shadow is on their face. Lauren decides to call it he, she may be wrong, but she'll be corrected. The man smiles and his teeth are an extra white, and a little sharp looking. He turns around to face away from the couple, a huge clown tattoo peaks over his dress. Piercings are seen in both ears, a few black studs on each ear. The laughter is heard again and Lauren squeezes Brock's arm again. The so called Delirious smirks at the frightfulness of the woman. He gets closer to the couple, "How do you do? I-"

"See you've met my-" 

"Faithful handyman," Delirious gestures towards a tall black haired man, who's name is Nogla. 

"He's just a little brought down, because-"

"When you knocked," Delirious leans into Brock "he thought you were... the candy man." Delirious pushes away from the couple and starts walking in a sassy style he then snaps his head around, "Don't get strung out by the way I look! Don't judge a book by its coveeeeeer!" He flashes his electric blue eyes, "I'm not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one hell of a loveeer!" 

"I'm just a sweet transvestite, yeah, from Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha." Delirious presents a giddy smile on his face, "Let me show you around, maybe play you sound," He winks, "you look like you're both pretty groovy, or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal we could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."  Brock stops Delirious's singing, "I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry!" Lauren agrees, "Right!"

"We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car,  we don't want to be any worry. "  

Delirious only continues, "Well, you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?! Well, babies, don't you panic, by the light of the night, it'll all seem alright. I'll get you a satanic mechanic!"

The man smirks, his flirty smirk, "Why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite? I could show you my favorite obsession." 

His smirk turns into a huge smile,  "I've been making a man with black hair and a tan and he's good for relieving my tension." 

Nogla and Marcel, who has the brightest pink Afro and a short yellow, poofy dress, and tight black leggings; they both put a science coat onto Delirious. "So, come up to the lab- and see what's on the slab, I see you shiver with antici-" His hypnotizing eyes pour into the small couple, "-Pation!"

Delirious and his fellow "friends"follow up the stairs, "But maybe the rain-  is really to blame- so I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom." Delirious disappears and has left Lauren and Brock alone. 

A few hours later Lauren and Brock are escorted to the lab, but they're both stripped almost naked. Nogla leaves the two and stands beside his brother/ex-lover Lui. They still work together, but nobody knows specifically why, only them two. 

Lights shine and Delirious appears out in the same lab coat from before, he's smiling and very excited. "Nogla! Open the box!" He shouts in pure joy. Nogla hurries over to the small lever and pulls it down. As the lid slowly opens Delirious rips off the lab coat and is in a sparkly blue corset. He slowly makes his way down to the half open box, when it finally opens a tall gorgeous man comes out. He's wrapped up all mummy like. "Lui! Nogla! Unwrap my love!" Delirious orders his "minions". 

The unwrapping is done, and everyone's jaws drop. The man has shaggy black hair, dark brown eyes and is in a tight red speedo, that look silky. 

Delirious finally snaps out of his drooling and notices how his creation is squinting. "Oh here love." The blue eyed man puts glasses on his lovers face. "Evan!" Delirious shouts, his voice echoing throughout the lab. Evan jumps up on to the side of his box, and he starts running up the stairs of the lab. Delirious gasps and chases after him. Evan looks back in disgust and horror, he then jumps up and grabs onto one of the lights in the lab. Delirious screeches, "EVAN!" 

Evan looks down and around frantically, "The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread!"

"Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery! Oooooooooooh, can't you see that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer?" Delirious frowns as he chases after Evan some more. 

"I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed and left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread my high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go and all I know, is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer..." Delirious screams, "Oh!" And he starts sobbing as Evan continues running around, Nogla, Marcel, and Lui sing while he's still running, "Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime! That ain't no crime!" Delirious shoves the three out of the way and Evan continues, "The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread."

"Oh, woe is me, my life is a mystery! Oh, can't you see that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer?" Evan realizes how he's hurting Delirious's feelings and stops, but Nogla, Marcel, and Lui get one more line in, "Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime! That ain't no crime!" 

Delirious gets up from the ground and stops over to Evan, "How dare you act like that on your first day out?" Evan looks down to the ground ashamed. Delirious sighs, "It's alright baby." Both him and Evan smile. "Now, lets take this back to Dr. Delirious's room." Evan perks up instantly, "But first," Delirious interrupts, "we need to make you into a man, and... phew..." Delirious stops and takes in Evan's body, he looks at each and every muscle and vein that pops out. "You're already half of a man..." Delirious smirks and Evan flexes his arms. The trans nearly faints at the sight. "All of you out!" His tone is serious, but everyone scurries out, "Now it's time for just you and me, it's time to turn you into more of a man." Delirious reveals a weight machine, Evan is confused, but likes the object. Delirious picks up another weight and starts to rep; Evan watches in awe. "A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds, will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground..." Evan sort of laughs at Delirious's saying. "And soon in the gym with a determined chin," Delirious shows Evan the machine close up and a little ribbon on it says, "Happy Birthday Evan!" 

"The sweat from his pores, as he works for his cause will make him glisten," Delirious gestures to the seat of the machine, Evan sits, "And gleam, and with massage and just a little bit of ste-e-eam..." Evan reps his arms and Delirious drags his finger down Evan's bare chest with every "e". 

"He'll be pink and quite clean. He'll be a strong man. Oh, honey!"  

While Evan's working out Delirious reveals another object, another gym machine, a balance beam. "He'll eat nutritious, high protein and swallow raw eggs. Try to build up his shoulders his chest, arms, and legs. Such an effort. If he only knew of my plan, in just seven days,  I can make you a maaaaan!"Delirious dances around and Evan hops onto the ground and starts doing push ups, "He'll do press-ups and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean, and jerk. He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work. Such strenuous living. I just don't understand..." Delirious hops onto the balance beam and starts thrusting, "When in just seven days, oh, baby, I can make you a maaaaaan!" Delirious pulls Evan close enough to touch noses. 

Suddenly the door crashes open in the lab almost crushing Delirious and Evan. A motorcycle is heard and Marcel comes running in. He screams, "Lukie Poo!" The motorcycle comes all the way into the lab, wall debris everywhere. Luke takes off his glasses and throws them, showing his one eye, the other one covered in a stitched up "x". He then throws off his helmet and brushes his beard with his hand. "Woo!" He hops off the running motorcycle, "Whatever happened to Saturday night? When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright? It don't seem the same since cosmic light came into my life, I thought I was divine," Luke caresses Marcel as soon as he runs over to him, "I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go and listen to the music on the radio. A saxophone was blowing on a rock and roll show. We climbed in the back seat, really had a good time!" Luke kisses Marcel's hand and smirks at Delirious who is very angry. 

"Hot patootie, bless my soul, really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll! Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll!" Marcel squeals and grabs Luke's hands. He pulls Marcel and they dance in circles. Luke kept singing the same verse over and over, and Evan started dancing along, Delirious grew furious. Luke and Marcel fell to the ground sucking faces. Luke saw Delirious and got up. Delirious pushed Evan into another room and shut the door, so he wouldn't see what was happening. Evan could still see through the key hole of the door. He watched Delirious grab an object from the wall. Marcel saw Delirious with the machete, but only screamed. He chased Luke down and hit him over and over again with the machete. Evan jumped and yelled in the other room. Marcel screamed and cried as Luke lay on the ground lifeless. Nogla and Lui started to clean up the mess as Delirious stepped away from the body. 

Delirious and Evan were finally alone in their own room. Delirious watched Evan lay on the bed. He was already in this room from the incident just an hour or so ago. Delirious crawls over to Evan and takes off his glasses. He sets them on the night stand; Evan is more confused than ever. Delirious lets out a psychopathic giggle. "Well, I didn't put this corset on for nothing sweetie." Evan was still confused. A idea grows in Delirious's mind. "Think, I'm just another thing to turn you more of a man..." Delirious smirks and his blue eye shadowed eyes flutter flirtatiously, "I'm another present for you to open..." Evan perks up and grins ear to ear. He reaches for Delirious and starts untying the blue corset. Evan gets to closer to the bottom and his eyes widen. Delirious smirks and pushes him hard against the bed, "Here let me show you how its done, the Delirious way~" And the night goes on as the two make love for the first time. Do you still think that building is empty? No? So if your car breaks down right after a wedding and you propose to your girlfriend right after, do what Brock and Lauren should have done, don't go towards a big dark castle with a big transvestite clown and an Asian creation. 

TURN BACK

Wow, it's been forever since I've written a one-shot. This one was over 2000 words, oops, probably from the music though, speaking of, all musical numbers belong to the creators and every beautiful person who made The Rocky Horror Picture Show, they are not mine, I write stories not music. ~HoodiniClown <3