Carter's POV

"It's going to be a rough couple of weeks I'm afraid. A severed bond... it's not something that can really be healed."

The wolf in front of me just continues to shake, the pain clear on his face and in his eyes that had a slight gold tint to them that showed the pain of the wolf behind them.

He'd come to me a few hours ago, an absolute mess. His eyes were bloodshot and he could barely keep himself upright let alone stand. I'd known what happened before he even had the chance to say it. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often but I'd seen enough people whose bonds had been severed to know exactly what it looked like.

It was a concept that amazed me really. I didn't understand how someone could be gifted love. Someone made perfectly for you, and throw it away. And for what? Because you don't like that they're the same gender as you? I'd heard that one far too many times. As if the moon goddess thought about the gender when she was creating the bonds of genderless souls. 

For some I knew it was warranted. Their mates cheated on them, or treated them poorly. Some were even abusive towards their mates.

I didn't understand that either.

How you could harm someone who held one half of your soul, how you could possibly betray them, how your wolf would even allow such a thing to happen.

Goddess the wolf. The wolf took it the hardest.

A werewolf's wolf was at the mercy of the human. They controlled the body most of the time, they controlled all of their actions and all of their words. The human could fall in love with someone who wasn't their mate. For the wolf it wasn't possible. They could only really form an emotional connection with their mate. The human could date and sleep around before they turned 18 and the wolf was powerless to stop it. Now most wolves don't mind when their humans date around before they turn 18. There was always the mutual agreement that once they were 18 they would go to their mate and choose them in the end. But still, the wolf had to put a lot trust in their human. They didn't last for too long after the bond was severed, they'd become stagnant and after a few years would eventually fade into nothing. 

My eyes scan over Briar's body again. The omega's wolf wouldn't last a month, forget a few years.

With a sigh I open a drawer and pull out some crushed petra root. It was a substance used for werewolves who needed to heal their wolves, not necessarily themselves. There were very few things that could harm one's wolf directly, but the things that did needed to be treated with care. It was hard to heal the wolf when they couldn't stay in control of the body for more than a few days at a time. Some would tell you even letting your wolf be in control for more than 24 hours was probably not the best idea in the world. 

"These will... make it less painful for your wolf. I'm not going to lie to you this will not be easy, it is going to be painful and you will probably need to rest for a few days." 

I take a bit of the root and hand it to Briar who reaches out a shaky hand to take it. I think this had to be the hardest part of my job.

Not having a mate of my own I didn't understand what it was like to have the bond severed, I didn't know that feeling of being rejected. I did understand that emptiness though. That feeling like part of you is missing and will never be filled. Twenty years without finding my mate, I've practically given up on it ever happening. I'd traveled to different packs around the world with my Uncle Mateo after I'd graduated highschool. I spent five years away from home, learning different medicine tactics and things like that. But eventually I had to go home. So I decided to wait, maybe the goddess would bring my mate to me.

She didn't.

Honestly I didn't think she ever would. I've heard stories from elders about people who never found their mate because they died or because their mate had gone off to live a happy life with some human they fell in love with. Whatever it was I didn't want to give it too much thought. It would only make me feel worse about the situation.

Being the primary healer of the pack I didn't have much time for a mate anyways. I had people coming to every hour, I barely got to sit down for thirty minutes. I was just about to leave to visit my brother and his kids when Briar had come in. The poor kid was shaking worse than he was now. Tears streaming down his face and broken sentences pouring from his lips that were practically drowned out by his sobs. I wasn't going to leave him like this. Not when I'd been there for him since he was barely six years old. 

"Do you wanna talk about what happened" I question as I sit down across from him, watching as he gently chews on the root and grimacing at the taste. It wasn't great. I had to use it every so often to calm Silas. 

At first I was met with silence. The only sound in the room soft sniffles. 

"I wish the moon goddess didn't give me a mate like you."

A loud whimper echoes in my head, tears filling my eyes before I could even comprehend that I was starting to cry.

"I-... no I didn't mean... I'm sorry!" Briar spat out a string of apologies that fell on deaf ears. 

My heart ached and it took everything in me to contain my crying to a few tears and not full blown sobs. Silas didn't say anything, just whined occasionally before I felt him escape to the back of my mind. A luxury I wish I had at the moment. 

Why hadn't the moon goddess given me a mate? Did she not think I was deserving of one? Most people who don't have mates don't really want them to begin with. It was perfect. That way their other half wouldn't have to deal with being resented. There were some who would claim they didn't want a mate but had been given one. That usually stemmed from a place of fear. 

I had always wanted a mate. I slept around a little bit in high school but none of those relationships meant anything. I made sure they didn't. 

I used to ask myself every night what I could have possibly done wrong. Where I could possibly go to find my mate. Did I need to search every single corner of the earth? I didn't have the money or energy for something like that. 

Hopeless. That's what I was. Completely powerless to do anything that would help my situation. 

I at least wanted to know. To know that I had a mate, even if they were just going to reject me in the end. I wanted to know that they existed and that the moon goddess hadn't just forgotten about me. 

Two slender arms wrapped around my torso tightly, pulling me into an embrace that I know was meant to be comforting.

But it wasn't. Neither were the soft words of encouragement that the smaller male tried to say to make me feel better.

No matter how much I tried nothing would really be able to comfort me.

Nothing but the embrace and the words of a mate that I don't know that I'll ever get to see.