The plan had flaws, I admit. I didn't know whether the intentions were good or bad.

Was I making this effort because I really valued Alex's plea for help? Or was it just because I couldn't deal with one more minute of Big Berth'a cheeriness and our special assignment.

Definitely the latter. Call me selfish, call me bad, but I was raised in Hell – what do you expect?

So it was, I followed the queue of beaming loonies to the exit of the room.

There Bertha was, a cliché bag of satchel in her hand. As each person passed, she flourished a scatter of dust over them, the shimmer cascading down them like a dog taking a tinkle.

As well as this, an ardent assistant stood by her, fitting a camera on everyone as they passed.

You would think – as this is heaven and everything – they would have better technology, right?

Maybe Brexit has even affected the depths of the afterlife.

There was no immediate change as I passed through the arc of glitter. I waited patiently as the camera was fitted, a huff exiting my mouth.

Smiling coyly, I waved off Dot, indicating that she should leave. She would just ruin my stupid, buggar-all plan.

In an encouraging manner, she grinned, although the action only filled me with dread. If I failed, I would most certainly be booted back to Hell.

Although at least people actually speak their minds down there, it is Hell. I also have an ex-girlfriend and Satan ready to cut off my penis and beat me to death with it.

Oops.

Suppressing the urge to give the middle finger to Bertha, I stepped out into the dappling sunlight, blinking my eyes against the bright lustre of all perfect sun.

It was only as I was exposed to the dire light that I noticed a change.

The melodic sound of chimes (so cliché I want to gag), resonated through the air. Looking down at myself, my classic 'Heavenly' attire was replaced by a dress type thing that resembled something old and Greek.

Cursing under my breath (come on, Zeus wasn't exactly the God of good taste), I looked over my shoulders, to be faced with a pair of feathery wings.

"Ooh, look at you!" It seemed like Dot had loitered to wish me good luck. "Just like a Guardian angel!"

"Really? I didn't know something designed to make us look like an angel would actually make us look like an angel." I muttered sarcastically under my breath, before mustering a smile – more like a grimace – and nodding. "Good, isn't it?"

"I'm sure you'll do brilliantly, as long as you can wipe that grimace off your face. Good luck! You're well on the way to graduating the class!"

"Yeah... How long was the complete course, again?" I asked. If it wasn't so long until I graduated, why did I have to go through this trouble? Alex could wait a few more weeks, right?

"Hmmmm, five years I think! Well, four years and 49 weeks for you!" She answered brightly. "It is a long time I guess, but all good things to those who wait, eh?"

"Yeah." I answered, deadpan.

Suddenly, Dot looked almost melancholy, placing a hand on my shoulder. I resisted the urge to move away.

Her face was earnest. Sentimental old cow. Make me feel guilty you odd thing.

"I do appreciate what you're doing, Inferno. It mustn't be easy for you... Having to go through all this hassle for Anthony and me, and your friend. It's a big commitment and I-I--."

"Please don't cry Dot, you'll make a scene." I drawled.

I know, I'm a savage. Sue me.

"I'm just grateful sweetie. I owe you a big favour." She began to turn away, shuffling in that fashion that all motherly maids do.

"Hey!" I called. She turned around, probably expecting an equally tender reply.

"So, you said you owe me a favour and well, I'm nervous about this task, you get me?"

She nodded; I moved closer to her.

"Right, so I don't want Bertha to follow me first. I don't want her eyes on me at all until I get comfortable. I need a diversion for about say, ten minutes, so I can revise what I've been taught so I can do the best I can do!"

"Oh of course! I understand completely. Such a sweetie, looking out for yourself and others! You're a fine young man, you are." She gushed, looking all up to it.

"I know. Now, you're good at a bit of chatter, I know that from experience. Just distract Bertha by asking about the course. Simple, really."

"Oh yes! I can do that! I'm quite curious about it myself." Good good good.

"You're a life saver Dot. Now, go!"

"Alrighty!" Straigtening her dress, she bustled over to Bertha and began to ask her a series of questions. Bertha listened intently, before beginning to reply.

The plan was in action.

I'm going back to Hell.

The thought dawned on me. It felt – and was – like ages since I had been to the land of Trump Supporters and murdering scum, all my clients and mainly enemies.

Goodness gracious. I was getting nostalgic.

With this wistfulness shrouding me, I set off, running towards the nearby Guardian Angel headquarters.

Well, I say running.

It was more like concerned trudging.

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{I know! I know! I haven't updated in more than a whole month and I truly feel guilty for this!! I know I don't have many consistent readers but for those who have kept up even with sporadic updates and my inability to stick to a goal, thank you so much! Your support means everything to me!
One of my New Year's Resolutions is to be more active. As I'm currently doing fiction in English, I'm telling myself this will help me to make me motivated!
New Year, New Me, right?
Thank you again and I will finish this story in the next month or two!}