Culmination
Theo was on fire, not literally, just in the sense that she had been killing every reading lesson she had been having with Ava. Her outburst that one night was long forgotten. Theo had to dig deep inside to push down the anger and frustration that always threatened to rise but she had managed to do so. She was now piecing three-letter words together and excelling at it. She was sure to get lines on her face by the end of the length considered how much she was grinning. When a lesson was over, nothing could knock her confidence. Not even a two-hour long session of Cooker grilling her.
Ava was a big part of the reason Theo was doing so well, and Theo recognized that. Her patience was otherworldly and Theo swore that Ava was a charming fairy, sent down by the Islander god of patience and wisdom. She explained the topics with such ease and clarity, once Theo sat down and actually listened she began to grasp the concepts much quicker. Ava and Theo had been laying on their stomachs behind Theo's desk. Theo had just finished sounding out the last word in a sequence that Ava had written out.
Ava squealed in delight and threw her arms around Theo, giving her an awkward half-hug from their position on the floor, "Theo, you did it in one try!"
Theo chuckled, "I did, Red. Thanks to you."
"That's all you," Ava reassured her and squeezed Theo closer.
Theo froze up. It wasn't like Theo wasn't physically close with her friends, it was a habit of hers to be overly touchy with them at times. That was just the pirate way, affection through physical touch and roughhousing was commonplace, speaking about feelings was not. But Ava had been progressively getting closer and touchier with Theo in the recent suns and Theo never knew quite how to react. She was in an odd place. She loved Ava's touch and that was the problem. Her body would react, warm cheeks, and a rapid heart race, but her brain would scold her.
Theo would tell herself that she was being creepy. Ava being close affected her in a different way than other people being close did. It was more than friendship, Theo wanted a physical bond with Ava. Beyond that, an emotional one too. Theo told herself that allowing Ava to get closer under the guise of friendship was not fair. Ava would not be acting the same way if Theo told her the truth. If Theo said that she was falling for the rich girl, Ava would probably keep her distance and that was something Theo didn't want to happen. So she figured if Theo could keep the physical distance between them then everything was okay.
Except Ava was relentless in her journey to see Theo's sanity be derailed. Every night, whether it was during training or reading, there was a moment where Theo would feel the air leave the room and all she could do was stare at Ava. If Theo was a fool, she would think that Ava wanted to kiss Theo as bad as Theo wanted to kiss Ava. But Ava was not a nox. Even if Ava was, Theo was probably last on her list.
"Now it's your turn," Theo said and dodged out from under Ava's arm and stood up, "Give me ten laps around the ship and then meet me in the room."
Ava got up and did as she was told. Theo waited for the redhead in the training room, using the time to do a bit of target practice. That night they had a rough training session. Ava had run her laps and did her strength training. Once Theo was satisfied with the progress Ava had made she pulled out the sticks again. The challenge: knock the stick out of Theo's hand. Round after round and Ava was no closer to finding the trick to winning. She may have now been able to stay toe to toe with Theo during hand to hand but she was no match during their stick game.
Theo could tell Ava was getting frustrated and Theo wanted to give her a win. She found out through training that Ava reacted well to small boosts of confidence. Theo dialed back her effort and Ava suddenly found herself in an even match up. Ava noticed the shift, probably thinking Theo was running out of steam. A second wind hit her and she began to attack, advancing with every hit. Ava managed to twist her pole in a way that when she pulled, Theo's pole was knocked out of her hands. Ava extended the pole towards Theo as if she was holding the sharp end of a blade to Theo's neck.
Ava smirked, "That was easy. I thought beating a Captain was going to be like, actually difficult."
Ava had learned trash talk from Theo, having been at the receiving end of the quips for a cycle. What Ava hadn't learned was the pirates took trash talk personally and she needed to be able to back up her big talk with actions. Theo mimicked Ava's smirk and then reached her foot forward and stepped on Ava's toes. Ava yelped and dropped her guard down and Theo took the opportunity to strike. She stepped on one side of her fallen stick so it popped up in the air and she swiped it. As soon as it was in her hands she began to be on the offense. With the shock of the movements, Theo was able to push Ava significantly back before Ava was even able to fight back.
A small back and forth ensued but Theo was pushing towards victory with every strike. Ava was three feet from the wall when a particularly strong strike from Ava knocked Theo's grip loose. Theo's pole clattered to the ground but in an instant, Theo reacted and reached out to grab Ava's pole instead. Ava's hands were positioned on either end of the pole and Theo's found their way in between them, gripping tightly. The bar was chest-level for Theo and she began to push forward. Ava tried planting her feet into the ground but Theo was stronger. Ava slowly inched back until she was pressed up against the wall. Theo was dangerously close to Ava.
Theo smirked cockily, "Looks like you've got your back against a wall."
"The game was to knock the pole out of your hand. Which I did. Twice," Ava smirked but Theo could tell she was struggling to keep the pole away from hitting her chest, Ava's voice strained by the effort. They both kept their hands firmly pressed against the pole. There was still a bit of resistance left on both sides, neither of them giving up.
"Let's call it a tie then."
Ava laughed but didn't answer. Theo chuckled as well, both of them heavily breathing, none of them giving in. They were inches from each other's face, left to soak in the silence. It was happening again, what happened every night. The air in the room was electric, Theo thought that if she reached out and touched Ava that she would get shocked. She could feel herself taking small half-breaths, afraid a large exhale would break the moment. Ava's green eyes were peering into Theo's soul, unwavering. She should have dropped her grip on the pole and backed away from Ava but she didn't. Her eyes were drawn to Ava's lips and she screamed at herself for it. It was a habit she needed to break because she was going to give herself away one day.
Ava said something but Theo was so caught up in her own moral back and forth that she missed what it was, it had been a whisper. Theo fixed Ava with a confused look. Ava looked a bit frustrated and she licked her lips. The pole she was holding onto was shaking slightly, Ava's hands were trembling. She was nervous, for some reason. Theo studied Ava's face trying to get a read on the situation and Ava took a sharp inhale.
"Can I kiss you?" Ava repeated.
Theo's eyes went wide and she released the stick, "What?"
In none of Theo's wildest imaginations would she have thought that is what Ava had said. She was so dumbfounded that she had nothing better to say except, 'what?'. There were thousands of words in Common and the only one she could come up with was "what?'. It could have been 'yes' or 'no' or 'why' or 'sure yeah why not' but no. Ava sighed exasperatedly Theo was worried she had absolutely fucked it up.
"Oh for fuck's sake."
The bar between them dropped when Ava's hands came up and grabbed Theo by the face. Theo's head was pulled forward and before she could blink there were soft, warm lips pressed against her own. Theo inhaled through her nose and closed her eyes, relishing in the warm feeling that washed over her. Theo instinctively reached down, wrapping a strong arm around Ava's waist. Ava's hands slipped from cupping Theo's face and her arms came to rest on Theo's shoulders. They pulled away for a slight breath before Ava tilted her head the other way, coming in for another kiss. Theo indulged her, lips perfectly slotting in between Ava's. The kiss got more heated as the seconds passed and Ava pulled her body closer to Theo's. Theo pressed Ava further back against the wall and Ava let out a noise from the back of her throat.
That was an alarm bell for Theo's brain. Her thoughts caught up with her rogue actions and she pulled away quickly. A feeling of dread came over Theo, she went from hot to icy. As if she had jumped into cold water on a sunny morning. Theo scolded herself for having so little self-control and she backed away from Ava slowly. There were too many thoughts in her head to be able to sort through them, especially not with a pair of green eyes blinking down at her. Ava had been the one to ask but Theo wasn't relieved at that. She had spent so many nights wondering if Ava felt the same and wondering what would happen if she did. They were always hypotheticals that Theo considered too far off to even happen. But now that it was out there, Theo felt no better.
Ava was Theo's recruit and Theo was her captain. Beyond that, Ava had never been with a woman. She was afraid that the only reason Ava chose Theo was because she had imprinted on Theo. They had spent so much time together, maybe Ava had misinterpreted that as an attraction to Theo and decided to give it a shot. Any which way, Theo was itching to run away. Confronting her emotions was not in her wheelhouse at the moment.
"I am so sorry," Theo said and put her hands to her lips, still feeling the traces of Ava's.
"Theo, wait," Ava said and tried to reach forward to pull Theo back but Theo avoided her grasp with ease.
Theo turned on her heel and jogged out of the room, ignoring Ava's calls. She left everything in the room and ran. As soon as she was in her room she pressed her back against her door and sunk onto the floor. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There were too many things to sort through and so many questions to be asked. If Theo had stayed, maybe they could have communicated through it like adults but that was not how her brain worked. She had been overwhelmed and the only thing she knew how to do was avoid it. There was going to be a lot waiting for her on the other side of the door but for the night it was just her and her quiet room.
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