Theo's emotions were in a constant battle the whole ride to The Grotto, which was a long one. Theo opted to take the longest route and their journey consisted of mostly riding along the beach as they followed the curve of the island. Her intention was threefold, she wanted to spend as much time stalling before being alone with Ava, she wanted to go along the scenic route, and she wanted to make the ride harder for Ava. Theo wasn't wholly convinced Ava wasn't in on the whole plan to send her away. Theo's plan to give Ava a hard time failed as Ava showed mastery with maneuvering her steed, fucking rich people.

Theo was excited for the time away but dreading having to be away from her crew, from Xyra. She was thankful for a space to think through what was going on in her head but terrified to once again be alone with her thoughts, semi-alone. Theo was angry with Ava, at the very least for hiding Xyra's plan to challenge Fletching, but her heart did beat a bit faster at the thought of spending suns alone together. Theo was struggling with pushing pride out of the way over her passed resolution down, she was proud of her accomplishment but she felt like she had no right to be happy. Guilt over her decision to challenge Fletching leading to Xyra getting hurt overpowered many of her emotions. The only feeling that trumped guilt was anxiety, a knot in her stomach had been there since Alenroux.

There was a small, perpetual feeling of doom that just grew every sun. Alenroux served to shock her back into the realities of their world, it had been a while since she had witnessed something of the sort and the familiar feeling of helplessness crept back into her head. It was exacerbated by the hit in Gossem and the false merchant ship on the way to Corinspe. As the suns until the pirate meeting grew, the small pit of despair in her stomach grew and nagged at her but she had expected it to go away once a solution was found. It hadn't, instead, it had grown. Now they were going out to face the uncertainty head-on and find themselves in several situations where they were helpless. Her performance at the pirate meetings, at least emotionally, was lacking and her anger had gotten the better of her multiple times. Theo's confidence in her abilities as a captain was down and it served to make the impending journey feel out of reach and too much for her to handle.

As her thoughts consumed her, the beaches and the small stretches of the cleared jungle they went through passed along. There was not a moment where her internal battle wasn't raging and her feelings weren't clawing at her chest attempting to get the most attention. It got to a point where the noise created by her emotions was deafening and she couldn't pick out which one was yelling at her. Maybe Xyra and Cooker were correct in forcing her out of civilization for a while. It wasn't the first time they'd done it and to be fair, Theo should have been expecting it. Forcing Theo to isolate with her thoughts was the only way to ensure that they were dealt with, a fact known by most close to her. If there were other duties to attend to, other people to worry about, Theo would push the thoughts down in favor of working on something else. It was the reason she had been increasingly on edge throughout their journey from Niveal to Corinspe and it had finally come to a point where she needed to confront everything on her plate. Her time on the beach in Gossem talking to Riva provided only momentary respite from the ill feelings.

After a few hours of riding at a moderately fast pace, Theo caught a glimpse of a large, stone mountain jutting out from the jungle. It's jagged edges marked the end of the beach and Theo began to slow her horse down, Ava following her lead. About 100 feet from the rough stone, was a small house that was embedded into the edge of the jungle only a few dozen feet from the beach. Theo brought her horse to a stop in front of the hitching rail and hopped off, tying the reins securely on the rail. Theo wasted no time in unloading some of the bags off the horse and taking them inside the house, which was unlocked.

Theo placed the bags down by the entryway and walked back out, barely glancing at Ava as she continued with unloading. Ava was too busy looking around to be any help and on Theo's third trip back from inside, Ava finally broke the silence.

"There's no cave," Ava commented.

Theo shot her a confused look as she pulled the bag full of her clothes off of the horse, "Why would there be a cave?"

"This place is called the grotto which implies the presence of a grotto," Ava answered.

"A grotto is not a cave," Theo scoffed a bit and moved to Ava's horse to begin unloading.

"I disagree."

"Well, there is a grotto," Theo said and pointed towards the stone, "and it's that way."

Ava said something but Theo didn't quite catch it, she was already walking back to the house. Ava eventually began to help and within a short period the horses were unloaded and Theo had gone outside to start a fire. It took her a while to find a good spot on the beach to start it but once it was alight, the fire provided much-needed light in the near absolute darkness. Ava had been lurking just behind Theo for most of the time, not really intervening in much but also not leaving Theo alone, she probably felt out of place but Theo wasn't in the mood to engage. After the fire was lit, Theo walked inside and opened a trunk that was in the corner of the main room, from it she pulled a torch, a spear, a small prepared bag and then walked back to her fire.

Ava watched it all happen and before she could ask what was happening, Theo lit the torch and began to walk towards the treeline.

"Where are you going?" Ava called after her and began to walk in the same direction.

"I'll be back," Theo answered unhelpfully and disappeared into the tree line.

Theo eventually came back and when she did, it was with three jungle fowl tied to her spear. When she emerged from the brush, Ava's head whipped up. Ava was sitting by the fire, curled in on herself, legs pulled into her chest. Ava's eye line followed Theo's movement back to the fire. Theo sat down without a word and set down the fowl and what she had on her. Theo opened the bag and tossed a waterskin bag at Ava's side and Ava took it with a nod. It was silent as Theo took the fowls off their ties and began to prepare them to be eaten.

"You went hunting," Ava observed.

"I did."

"I thought they had packed food."

"Accompaniments. Spices. Dried things," Theo began to pluck the feathers off one of the birds, "we have to hunt for the meat."

Ava let the conversation die. She took a sip from the waterskin, tentatively.

"It's clean, I got it from a spring," Theo said and with that reassurance, Ava drank more.

Again, a silence emerged between them. They didn't always fill the air with conversation but their silent periods were never filled with unspoken tension. Just a few nights before they were in each other's arms and now Theo couldn't feel more distanced from Ava, mostly due to her own actions. Neither of them said anything in the time it took Theo to prepare the bird for cooking. It was Ava who broke.

"Why are you not speaking to me?"

"I'm not generally inclined to make conversations with those that work to undermine me and force me into decisions that are not my own," Theo replied with ease, not even looking up.

"Being in survival mode, hunting for our own food in an unfamiliar place, hours away from the nearest sign of human life, with someone who clearly does not want to be here with me was not what I had planned for the little time I had to relax before a dangerous journey," Ava snapped a bit, clearly on edge from a long ride and a long time waiting around for Theo, "so believe me when I say I had nothing to do with everyone's stunt."

Theo felt slightly bad for having such an off-putting mood until she remembered that while Ava may not have been an accomplice in the second plot to undermine her, she was complicit in the first.

"Then how do you explain your actions yestersun?" Theo put the prepped bird down on her bag and crossed her arms facing Ava.

"What actions?"

"Exactly," Theo retorted, "You sat there as Xyra and Cooker plotted to challenge Fletching in my place and said nothing to me."

"I apologize for keeping it from you but you are my Captain and I am your quartermaster and it is my job to protect you. It is all of our jobs," Ava argued in her defense.

"Your job is to protect the crew. You would protect me at the expense of your duties? Of your crew?" Theo pushed.

"The crew member I put in danger with my silence is the first mate that not only outranks me but also insisted on that plan," Ava reminded, "and there is very little I wouldn't do to protect you, Theo. I am sure I am not alone in that sentiment."

"Xyra could have died and your silence could have meant the nail in her coffin," Theo didn't know why she was throwing this on Ava and Ava seemed to be just as confused.

"I will not sit here and let you assign blame to me for decisions and actions you and others made," Ava got up and wiped some of the sand off of her legs, and began to walk towards the house.

Theo let her go, focusing on dinner. She laid down some wood near the edge of the fire and set the bird down to cook. She would have to go inside and get a pan and some spices to make it taste good but she didn't really want to be in the room with Ava at the moment. Ava's words were the truth and Theo resigned herself to being angry about it rather than apologize to Ava. Ava wasn't blameless, she had kept something from Theo but Theo would have done the same if the roles were reversed, Theo was the Captain and the Captain was to be protected at all costs. It was a rule that Theo tried to shake but no one on her crew budged.

After several minutes, Ava had not yet returned and Theo's window to properly cook the bird was closing so she decided to get up and go into the house, even if it meant having to confront Ava again. However, when Theo got up and turned to walk to the house she saw that Ava was walking out from it, a few bags in her hand. Theo walked towards her and watched as she began to load her horse. She was leaving.

"Red," Theo called out as she picked up the pace but Ava didn't turn around, she just kept prepping the horse. Theo began to lightly jog over, "Red."

Theo called out again and Ava once again ignored her, her movements becoming faster as to get away before Theo got there. Theo slowed down once she was a few feet away.

"Red," Theo tried one more time to get her attention but Ava acted as if there was not a peep ushered, "Ava!"

Theo sighed and reached forward, she took Ava's hand and tugged it so that Ava would turn around and was forced to step closer to Theo.

"What?!" Ava yelled as she was turned around and she quickly tried to pull her hand free but Theo was holding it firmly in place.

"I'm sorry," Theo said and took a step closer, her and Ava were only a foot apart, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Theo," Ava said but she was looking at the ground, "However little justification you have for it, you're upset with me and I get that, so I'm just going to step away."

"You were sent here with me, you can't just leave," Theo wanted Ava to stay, she needed to convince her.

"I'm sure Xyra will be just fine knowing I got you here safely," Ava said and managed to slip from Theo's grasp, "have a good time, Captain."

Ava turned back around to finish hitching up the last bag and Theo was so frustrated with the situation she could scream. How did they get there? If Theo had been maybe a bit nicer, Ava wouldn't have just jumped at the chance of leaving. The thought of being alone with cycles of unsorted emotions for an indefinite amount of time was only made more bearable with Ava there. They would be soon apart for so long and they had just gotten to a place where things were pressure-free and they were on the same page, this would be her only chance to be alone with the redhead and she had potentially already blown it. Theo knew what she needed to do, she hated that Ava made her want to do it.

"You were right," Theo started even though Ava was not paying attention, "I was projecting my mistakes onto your silence. That wasn't fair to you."

Ava's movements faltered slightly, she was listening.

"It's hard for me to separate the personal from our duties," Theo admitted, "I am still upset that things happened the way they did but I had a role to play in that too. At the time, we were bound to our duties and not our personal ties. I know you did what you thought was best for me and for the crew..."

Admitting error was what Theo struggled with the most and when Ava came into her life, there soon became a lot more of it. Xyra and Cooker often let Theo's mistakes go without speaking about it but Ava wouldn't allow that. Ava was not well-versed in the pirate habit of putting something to rest by not speaking about it so Theo found herself communicating more and more. Gods, she hated it but it was so effective.

Ava didn't turn around but her movements had completely stopped. Theo took the opportunity to step closer, again coming within a foot of Ava. Theo reached out and put a hand on Ava's hip, "Red, look at me."

Ava slowly turned around and was face to face with Theo. Theo's stare was intent on knocking down the wall Ava had built up. Theo stepped forward, bringing one arm to loop around Ava's back and held her impossibly close. Theo heard Ava let out a soft sigh at the touch and her hand came to rest on Theo's chest. Ava looked away but Theo caught Ava's chin between her fingers and turned Ava's head to look at her.

"You shouldn't go," Theo said, her voice a soft whisper.

"You want me to stay?" Ava asked.

"Aye."

"Say it," Ava said and leaned her face in close to Theo's, lips hovering over each other.

"I want you to stay," Theo said and closed her eyes, leaning in for the kiss but she was met with air.

Ava quickly slipped out of Theo's hold and flipped back around to unload her things. Theo laughed, more out of shock than humor, and watched as Ava cheekily made her way back inside the house to put her stuff away. Theo rolled her eyes but she couldn't help the smile that took over her face. It was going to be an interesting few suns.

------

Even though they had shared a small moment, Theo's mood didn't suddenly change as Ava had hoped. It was an illogical assumption but when it didn't happen, Ava was still disappointed. After they had solved their issues, Theo had been more talkative, more open, and friendly, but there was still something going on with her. A more controlled, tightened Theo was what Ava witnessed all night. After getting ready for bed, she gave Ava the room and slept outside by the fire. It was difficult for Ava to fall asleep, the sounds of the jungle were loud and much different than the sounds of the ocean. Ava understood it now, the tightness some of the crew described when they were on land. The dirt was no longer her home, the water was.

Eventually, the sounds of bugs drowned out her thoughts, and sleep overcame her. When she awoke, it was dark in her room, and not an inch of light found its way in but it couldn't still be dark outside, Ava felt overrested. She couldn't see anything though and she had to slowly get up and stumble towards the door. She found it and pulled it open just to be assaulted with bright light.

"Fuck!" Ava quickly shut the door again and held her hands up to her eyes, stinging from the light, and behind her eyelids were bursting with color.

Ava opened her eyes and tried to blink but it was no use. If the darkness was bad before, this was worse; her eyes could not adjust. The door cracked open just a bit and Ava could see a bit of light filter into the room.

"Is everything alright in here?" Theo asked, a bit of worry laced in her voice.

"Aye," Ava answered and then found her way to the bed and sat down.

Theo left the door a crack open and walked in. She made her way around the room and opened each of the thick curtains that lined the windows of the house, "Didn't realize those were closed. Sorry, it can be a bit disorienting."

"Thank you," Ava said softly then yawned, her body beginning the wake up process after she was already very awake.

"Breakfast is on the fire," Theo informed and began to back out of the room, "Take your time but the sooner you come, the warmer it will be."

With that, Theo left and closed the door behind her. The light now filtering in through the window allowed Ava enough visibility to go through her packed bag and pick out what to wear for the day. It was getting increasingly colder, especially at night, but Ava had found that when the sun was out there was not a need to excessively bundle up. She stepped out of the house when ready and made her way over to where Theo was sitting by the fire. Theo handed her a small wooden bowl filled with an assortment of fruits and another wooden bowl filled with what Ava could only assume was some kind of pan-fried starch. Whatever it was, it was great and Ava shoveled it down and took more time with her fruit.

It was silent, not as uncomfortable or sharp as the night before but there was still an air of tension. Not from between them but from within Theo. Ava scooted a bit closer to Theo and shifted to face her and not the fire, "What are you planning on doing this morning?"

"Was thinking about maybe going down to the grotto, showing you around," Theo looked over at Ava with a warm smile, a contrast from the night before.

"I would like that," Ava smiled back and then went back to her fruit bowl. After a bit, curiosity got the better of her and her questions could no longer be kept inside, "What is this place?"

Theo smiled a bit and grabbed a stick that was by the fire and poked at it, the flames reanimated, dancing around, "Cooker and I found it one day. It was our second time in Corinpse and Cooker had managed to get us some horses. At the time, Xyra was the golden child for Uncilo so she was away being a kiss arse and we were bored. We just decided to go around the whole island, to see if we could and we stumbled across this place.

We found the entrance to the grotto and the very next morning came right back with Xyra. We used to camp out here while Uncilo was in meetings or we had some spare time, we spent a lot of time in Corinspe under Uncilo's flag so this was our spot. No one could find us," Theo chuckled at whatever memory had popped into her head before continuing, "Eventually we decided if we were spending so much time out here, we might as well make it comfortable. We brought materials out with us slowly and built a shoddy little shelter for our things, nothing major. Then Xyra fucked up, well, we all fucked up, and Uncilo dumped us on Corinspe for two cycles to teach us a lesson. Gave us plenty of time to build our modest little house and we've just added too it ever since."

"What was the lesson?"

Theo chuckled, "That we were not as indispensable as we thought."

"Did you learn?" Ava asked.

Theo laughed, "The mission he went on without us failed so, no, I don't think it did."

Ava couldn't keep her smile down and her cheeks hurt a bit from how hard she was grinning. Theo seemed so light and carefree when she retold tales of her past. The genuine love she had for her two closest friends shone through and it warmed Ava. She hadn't thought that they built the house themselves. She had assumed they stumbled upon it and it had been abandoned for lengths. It went quiet again but the mood already felt lighter.

Theo stood up, "I'm going to go change out of yestersun's clothes and unpack a little. I want to see what goodies were packed for us. When I come back we'll head out."

Ava waved Theo off then stood up and walked towards the water. She saw some rocks that looked fun to climb but she had no shoes on so she opted to stand where the water barely met her toes. There were some birds up above that Ava followed with her gaze until they were out of sight then focused on the horizon. It seemed so inviting, the water, and she couldn't wait to get back out there and see where else it would take her. Ava also could wait, she could wait as long as she had to if it meant she got to spend that time with Theo. Ava felt a gentle touch at her hip and she jumped as she looked over to the figure behind her.

"You ready?" Theo asked and removed her hand from Ava's hip and held up a pair of boots, Ava's boots.

Ava sat down and pulled them over her feet, sand and all, then stood up. Theo began to lead them towards the large stone mountain down the beach and she happily followed. It didn't look like there was much to it but as they got closer, she could see a small opening several feet up. Once they got there, Theo climbed up into the opening and, following Theo's instructions, Ava managed to climb it too. The opening led to a natural tunnel and shimmying through it landed them on the inside of the rock formation, a large cavernous space with fragments of sunshine scattered through it. Looking up, the roof of the cave had large holes that allowed for the light to shine in. Theo helped Ava down from the steep rocks they had ended up on and she set her feet down on soft sand.

Once safely on the ground, she took a second to really take it in. Enormous did not begin to capture exactly how large it was. To think things of this beauty just existed hidden away for no one to see. A few hundred feet in front of them and to their left were a series of openings where the water rushed in. To her left, pockets of beach laying at the edge of pools of water. The water was clear and where the light shone on it from above she could see straight to the bottom. Theo took her hand and led her deeper inside.

Theo stopped where a considerable amount of sun was shining onto the sand and set down the bag she had brought. Theo had brought them a calmer area of the water, to where a natural pool formed as rocks around their area jutted out to trap the water there.

"Well?"

Ava laughed as she looked up and spun around taking in all of the things to see, "Definitely not a cave."

"You have been confronted with your errors," Theo chuckled and took off her shirt, a tight undershirt was all that underneath, "let's go swimming."

"I can't swim and it's cold," Ava crossed her arms.

Theo smiled and took off her pants, "You did great the other night. I'll teach you more. It's safe."

"It will be cold," Ava repeated.

"I'll make sure to keep you warm," Theo smirked and bit and pulled off her undershirt and Ava really tried to look away but she just couldn't. She watched intently as Theo started wading backward into the water.

"Theo," Ava huffed and stomped her foot, "this is so unfair. You are using your body and your charm against me."

"It hurts me that you think I would manipulate you in such a way," Theo feigned shock and Ava rolled her eyes, turning away before pulling her shirt and pants off.

She covered her chest, clenched her muscles, prepared herself for the shocking cold, turned around, and bolted for the water.

----------------------------------

The sun had long been out of the sky by the time Theo was finished with their dinner. Ava felt bad that Theo had been the one cooking all of the meals but Ava was not an expert in that area. Rose had been right to deny her a position in the kitchen. It was a lovely meal, surprising given their means of cooking, and Ava rained the compliments down on Theo, which Theo readily accepted. Overall, it had been a calm sun after they had returned from the grotto and Ava relished in the time to relax. Theo had been quieter than usual, like the night before, but less rude. No tension, just silence.

The water, like Ava had suspected, had been freezing but the sun shining in through the gaps in the rocks served as an excellent balance. Until the sun shifted and they were no longer saved from the biting cold. They had exited, shivering and wet, and ran as fast as they could back to their fire. Between the cold and the swimming, which Ava did not expect to be so hard, they were exhausted. They lounged around the beach most of the day. Theo pitched two hammocks up at some point in the aftermorning and Ava took a nap in one of them. When she awoke, it was to an empty area and a note under her hammock, Theo had gone back into the jungle and she would be back soon. The note only had one misspelled word and Ava was filled with pride. She ended up hiding the note in her bag, a keepsake.

When Theo returned, it was after dark and she brought along more water, more fruit, and more fowl. Their conversations were light and brief. Ava felt no pressure to speak or fill the air with words or questions, she was content with the silence for once.

"We haven't talked about your time at Corinspe so far," Theo said about an hour after dinner had finished, they were laying back on the sand and looking up at the stars.

"What about it?" Ava asked.

"What did you think of the meeting?" Theo turned her head to face Ava and Ava peeked over as well.

"Long. Rigorous. Stressful," Ava said truthfully, then smiled as she remembered the feeling she had when she was there. She felt needed, important, in the know, and pretty fucking cool, "I loved it."

Theo laughed and then propped herself up on her side, "You're a masochist."

"And you are not?"

"Fair point," Theo shrugged, "you kept up, Red, job well done. Wouldn't even have been able to tell it was your first meeting."

"Really?" Ava had been told by Xyra and Cooker that she was doing a good job but to hear it from Theo was something else. She smiled and then shrugged, "I guess I am just super amazing."

"I guess so," Theo chuckled, "any regrets?"

"About being quartermaster?" Ava asked and Theo nodded, "not one."

"Glad to hear it," Theo smiled and then looked back up at the stars.

Just as quickly as she had started the conversation, she ended it and Ava went back to staring at the stars too. The time in silence that sun had left her alone with a lot of thoughts. At times, they felt overwhelming and she couldn't help but let a tear or two fall. Like most of the time with Ava, she was stuck between two emotions. And like most times, those emotions were excitement about the future and guilt about her past. Now, more than ever, who she was before becoming a pirate mattered. Her father was the direct reason Theo had no parents. There were dozens of other forces at play and the council at large was to blame but her father had been the one to give the command.

The thought of Theo ever finding out made her sick, she didn't know what her reaction would be. It couldn't happen, it wouldn't. Cooker knew what was at stake and so did she and neither of them would slip up and expose her. Ava just had to keep her head down in public and not cause a stir anywhere and she would be fine. There were two things going for her that made Ava confident no one would recognize her. First, she was a recluse. She never left the Aubermasse estate, rarely attended ceremonies, dinners, or public events. The last portrait she sat for was when she was 10 and she was much different then. No one would put a name to the face. Second, she was presumed dead by all of Baethos. All she had to do was keep her mouth shut and she would never have to find out what Theo would do if she knew.

Theo being so close for a large portion of the sun had left Ava with lots of thought about their situation too. Ava wished she wasn't as selfish as she was and she could mitigate the wrong done with her secret by staying away from Theo but she couldn't. Ava was not responsible for her father's actions, that is what she told herself. Her father had already ruined so much, he wasn't allowed to ruin this too. Theo felt right, Theo felt like a piece that had been missing from her for so long. If she kept overthinking, what they had could be in jeopardy. Ava had promised herself, as she had tucked away Theo's note, that was she was done sabotaging herself. No more thinking about the past, for real.

She was loved by the crew, she had built a family. She had found a job and she was damn good at it. She had money saved up, she could defend herself, she had helped people along her way; Ava was crushing it for a rich girl who knew nothing only half a length before. Ava was going to stop letting guilt plague her and live like a pirate, in the moment. If her secret ever came to light, she would own up to it and deal with the consequences. If she truly was accepted by those around her they would let her work to earn their trust back. They would see who she really was, not who she was born to be. Everything, the swimming, the cold, the thoughts, left Ava exhausted pretty early on into the night and she couldn't keep herself from yawning.

"I get the creeping suspicion that you might be tired," Theo said to herself and looked over at Ava. One arm was behind her head and the other on her stomach.

"What gives you that impression?" Ava said through a yawn.

Theo laughed and sat up, "Maybe you should go to sleep."

"Will you be joining me in bed tonight?" Ava asked.

"Is that an invitation?" Theo raised an eyebrow.

"It is," Ava smiled and stood up.

"Aye," Theo said and stood up too, wiping some sand off of her arms, "I'm not coming to bed just yet, gotta do a few things. I'll slide in later."

Ava smiled and stepped towards Theo and gave her a kiss on the cheek. The most intimate touch they had shared that sun. She had known better than to ask questions when Theo provided no explanations. Theo would tell her about the things she needed to do on her own time, pressing for the sake of it never worked with Theo and she clearly was not planning on sharing what she needed to do. Ava said goodnight and walked to the house. She shut the door, closed the curtains almost all the way shut, and crawled into bed, piling a dozen blankets on her. At some point in the night, she felt the bed shift and someone crawl in. Theo was warm and Ava could tell she had been warming up by the fire before coming inside. She felt arms wrap around her and with that, she fell back asleep.