"Yeosang, why are you such a jerk?"

Yeosang: Jerk is a bit of a harsh word, isn't it? I prefer refined bitch. So I'm not a jerk in the slightest.

"Seonghwa and Hongjoong, favorite position?"

Hongjoong: That's a bit private, don't you think? I'm not sure that's any of your bus-

Seonghwa: Well personally, I like to give it from the front since I can see his face when I p-

Hongjoong: SEONGHWA

Seonghwa: What? They asked I'm only answering this wonderful person's question

"Taemin, why tf didn't you pull Yeosang away from Earth?"

Taemin: At heart, I had always believed that Yeosang was a good person and I had faith that my disciple would not pull any more unfavourable stunts. Clearly, I was wrong

Yeosang: 🖕

"Jongho, choose between Yeosang, Beomgyu and Taehyun"

Jongho: Well-

Yeosang, Beomgyu, Taehyun: He would pick me of course.

Jongho: ....Mingi. I chose Mingi.

Taehyun: YAH!

Beomgyu: He's not an option!

Yeosang: Liar! You know it's me!

Jongho: Nope, it's Mingi

"Wooyoung, would you give San a lap dance"

Wooyoung: Interesting question. Yes. 100% yes.

San: I'm not opposed.

"San, stop killing people"

San: I'll do my best...?

"Moonbyul, kiss marry kill"

Moonbyul: Kiss Solar, Marry Solar, Kill Seonghwa

Seonghwa: I hate it here

"For all the demons, do you or do you not like humans? Why?"

Jackson: They're cool, I guess? Like, they're not very smart, but they're fine.

Lay: I think they're cute! I remember watching them build Rome back in the day, they were so excited! It was adorable.

Jinyoung: Midnight snack

Hoseok: I'm not really allowed on Earth anymore, so I haven't seen a wild human in a little over 3,000 years. But they're really loud. They scream a lot but I don't mind~

Hongjoong: It's because you're constantly torturing them. Anyways, I don't mind humans. I'm not a fan of all of them but some of them are really sweet like Mingi and Wooyoung.

Moonbyul: Um...they're fine? Wtf do you want me to say?

Jongho: I still consider myself to be human so...I guess I don't hate people?

Seonghwa: I think humans are disgusting. They're gross, noisy, inconsiderate and extremely stupid. To this day, I have yet to meet a human I actually like.

Mingi:...🥺

Seonghwa: Except you Mingi

Mingi: 😊

"Angels, do you think you're better than the demons?"

Taemin: Yes

Beomgyu: For sure

Yeosang: Of course

Yunho: No, not at all. Have you seen the way Heaven is operated? How are we any better than them?

"Yunho, how much do you love Mingi"

Yunho: My love for Mingi goes deeper than the furthest depths of the Pacific, growing with each passing day. He is truly the light of my life.

"Mingi, what were your thoughts on demons moving next door?"

Mingi: At first, I thought they were just strange. The whole hissing and glowing eyes thing was a bit of a red flag but I didn't pay much attention to it. By the time I found out the Park-Kim's were demons, I already had two angels and a demon of my own staying in my house. So the fact that they're from Hell doesn't bother me as much. Um...I wish their house was a bit more soundproof because I hear a lot of things I could live without but other than that I can't complain.

"Yeosang: could you just... idk... be slightly less meaner? Like I love your sass, but no need to make my babies cry"

Yeosang: Mean? I'm not mean. And I've never made anyone in my life cry.

Jongho:...

Yeosang: stfu

"TaeMin: TaeBaby, honey, sweetie, I love you... but I'm 10 seconds away from calling Key so he can come and beat your asš. Why do you make me hate you, bish?"

Taemin: I can't think of anything I've done to warrant that.

Beomgyu:...

Yeosang:...

Taemin: stfu

Yeosang: damn alright

Jongho: Not nice, is it?

"Hwa and Joong: Will we ever know the story behind Joong finding Hwa and Jimin on the same bed?"

Seonghwa: It's actually a funny story-

Hongjoong: It's really not

Seonghwa: But it was a long day and-

Hongjoong: And nothing. This mfer got horny and because I wasn't good enough, decided to call up his ex, who, might I add, is a whore in every sense of the word, just for a quick fuck because he didn't know what loyalty was-

*A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY SIR, we're moving on!*

"JongHo: How are your powers doing? Everything good?"

Jongho: Well I haven't broken any more mugs!

Mingi: But you have broken the table, the kitchen counter and my laptop

Jongho:...So I'd say it's going pretty well!

"WooYoung: Truth or dare.

If you choose truth: Are you willing to do kinky stuff with San?

If you choose dare: do kinky stuff with San"

Wooyoung: I choose truth, hell yes I am. I also choose dare, hurry up and answer your question so we can go, San

"San: Can you measure your love for WooYoung in Shibers?"

San: At least one hundred Shibers! Maybe even a thousand! Hell, even a million-

Wooyoung: You can show me how much you love me by doing the dare, let's go!

"San, how many times have you brainwashed someone/changed their memories, and how many times have you attempted to hurt/kill someone."

San: Well-

"Be completely honest."

San: Right, right okay. I changed Mr Lee's memories when he called me so that I wouldn't get in trouble and was considering doing the same for Principal Jaebeom but my parents showed up before I could. Let's see, I nearly drowned a group of boys in the toilets on my second day at school, then attacked another one of those boys after class. I threw Jongho into the bathroom lockers and tried to choke him-

Jongho: Asshole...

San: Shut up, you got to throw me against a wall right after. What else? I tossed a guy off the top of a building because he was being rude to Wooyoung. Actually, I may have done that a couple of times, I honestly don't remember. I snapped two guys' necks, then eroded their boss' body from the inside out because he hit my Wooyoungie. I also choked Yeonjun because...

Seonghwa: I swear if you say it's because of Wooyoung...

San: Because he was being mean to Wooyoung...Anyway, I nearly killed his mom after she kicked him out but decided against it, no idea why. Then I got in a fight with Yeosang, let Shiber play-

*cough*

San: I mean, unleashed a hellhound on the city which probably hurt a few people, tried to kill Yunho, got into another fight with Yeosang and eventually just buried him in rubble, invaded Yeonjun's mind so he would leave my boyfriend alone. Then hurt Wooyoung during the Blood Moon and choked him when he tried to save me in Hell...

Wooyoung: Hey, don't be upset. You didn't mean it. At least you never took over my-

San: I've also tried to take over his mind...three times...

Wooyoung:...

*moving on*

"Is Yeosang gonna beat the shit outta Beomgyu?"

Yeosang: I'd like to but I can't get within two feet of him without being glared at by Mr Mugg Breaker over here

"Does Jongho really love Beomgyu?"

Jongho: Well...that's a complicated question. I'll have to get back to you on that one...

"So there will be no Jongsang?"

Yeosang: I would like there to be.

Jongho: When you learn not to be a living, breathing piece of shit, then maybe I'll consider it.

"Were Taehyun's parents actually that selfish?"

Taehyun: Foster parents, and yes. They were complete assholes and I'm glad they're not with me in Heaven

"Those bodies in heaven will turn into angels at a later date?"

In the holy water? Naaah mate they're dead fr.

"Are Woosan going to adopt a child (preferably me)?"

Wooyoung: Who are you?

San: I'd love to adopt a child! A little human boy or girl, sounds cute right?

Wooyoung: Why not a demon child?

Seonghwa: Please don't do that to yourself

"Will anyone besides Seongjoong enter the basement?"

Seonghwa: Hands off my basement. That belongs to me and Joongie only. So no, no one else will be using it.

"And if yes, then who? (they could just stumble in there... Trip down the stairs, you know. And then be scarred for the rest of their lives-)"

Yeosang: That place has been on my mind for a while and if by tripping, you mean going through the window in the middle of the night to get in, then yeah that totally happened.

"Does Wooyoung ever turn into a selfish brat? (Thank Goodness he was a cutie here🙏)"

*Looks at my notes*
Not in this story, no

"Why the hell did Hobi barge into poor grandma's house like that? AND WHY DID HE FEAST ON HER SOUL? DDAENG-"

Hoseok: Hey! I didn't eat her soul! How barbaric do you think I am? I only took her lungs and heart out and may have crushed a few of her bones.

"Who is Yeonjun together with?"

San: The bitch wishes he was with Wooyoung but he's too busy in my bed every night to notice this strawberry lookin' mfer

Yeonjun:...I'm single...

"What country would the couples visit?"

Wooyoung: WE'RE GOIN' FROM MEXICO CITY-

Beomgyu: LONDON TO PARIS-

Seonghwa: EL MARIA-

Hongjoong: STOP IT

San:... WE GOIN' FROM NY TO CALI-

Mingi: HONG KONG TO BRAZIL-

"Does SeokGod get together with NamDevil?"

Seokjin: It's a complicated relationship.

Namjoon: No it's not. He gets bored, calls me, we fuck and bam. The big bang happened.

"Will Mingi become an angel? so he can live the rest of eternity with his best boy"

I don't know how to tell you this...but nope

"Can Wooyoung become a demon after he dies? (If you say no, I'll cook you)"

Guess I'm gonna be dinner tonight cause Wooyoung ain't gonna become a demon. He becomes soul food.

Fun fact! I had the thought for Wooyoung to die and San would have to plead with Namjoon to bring him back since the only way that a person can be reincarnated is if God and the Devil agreed. But it wouldn't happen since Woo ends up going to heaven and Seokgod is a bitch who doesn't want to do any favours for Namdevil over here.

So to whoever it was who wanted demon of seduction Wooyoung, I got some bad news for you.

"Why is Sannie such a bottom for Woo?"

San: I'm not a bottom!

Wooyoung: Really? I thought Sannie liked what happened the other day when I... *Whispers in ear*

San: *cough* m-maybe I can be a bit of a bottom sometimes.

"What does everyone do when they feel bad?"

Mingi: Eat ice cream and cry it out
Yunho: Sit and think about why I'm feeling the way I am
Seonghwa: Have sex with my husband
San: Cuddle with my plushies or with Woo
Wooyoung: Listen to depressing lofi
Yeosang: Take my frustration out on whatever I see outside
Hongjoong: Play piano...or...you know, have sex with my husband...
Jongho: I just think, which usually leads to me feeling even more upset but eventually I get tired of it and go to sleep

"YunHo: why are you so cute?"

Yunho: That's a strange question. However, I presume it is because some facet of either my appearance or mannerisms is appealing to you?

"Mingi: I love you, baby!"

Mingi: Aww! Thank you!

Yunho: *pulls Mingi closer* are we nearly finished?

*Last two, just chill*

"NamJoon: I have a heavy dislike for you, and feel like I need to summon La Chancla to go meet you."

Namjoon: I hate you as well, now tell me wtf a La Chancla is

"Jin: Jinnie, your man is stupid."

Seokjin: I know right?

"Author-nim, my question for you: what inspired you to begin this amazing story?"

First of all, that's super sweet. Second: I used to watch the Wonderland Halloween special religiously and I realised that there weren't many Ateez demon stories on Wattpad, at least I couldn't find them (And I have since come to realise that I am indeed blind). Plus, I couldn't really find any sort of demon line family content.

Also I was bored in quarantine and didn't want to do school work. 

Another fun fact: This book was meant to be an Ateez/Txt story and there were going to be a few chapters where Taehyun had to deal with his own guardian angels - Beomgyu and Soobin; and prosecutor demons - Huening Kai and Yeonjun who were sent to kill Taehyun's parents and anyone who hurt him. 

But I scrapped the idea later on in favour of a separate Txt book called 'My Guardian Quaternity' which is now sitting at the bottom of my drafts 🤡

Thanxx to everyone who asked a question! It was fun answering all of them not gonna lie 💜