Hedwig: Go tell Harry that he needs to appreciate me more, or I'll get another boyfriend! (looks at Harry's profile)

Fawkes: Fine then! But you know that he'll think that one of the Weasley twins are playing a prank, don't you? He does not know we can type!

Hedwig: No, I'll just prove it to him myself!

Fawkes: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot solve your silly problem.  (thinking: I'm glad Hedwig dosen't  have to be MY girlfriend! She's a real pain in the head!)

Fawkes has left this chat. 

Hedwig: (writing on Dudley's page, which Harry has hacked) This is Hedwig, your gorgeous Snowy Owl here. Remember me? Well you probably don't, because you're hanging out with that Ginny of yours so much. Old Errol told me that you went into this scary place called the Chamber of Secrets and rescued Ginny from a deadly basilisk. But did you save me when Draco's eagle owl, Salazar,tried to slash his claws across my face? NO! Also, why do I have to sleep with all the annoying owls? He is horrible to other girls too. I want you to let all the nice owls in the dormitories but leave the nasty people in the cold, damp owlery. Remember that no-one is playing a prank here, I am way smarter than you think! From Hedwig. PS: Never lock me up in a cage again! I am warning you!

Hedwig has left this chat to unleash her revenge on Salazar.