In celebration of Amazon Prime Video's newest series Panic, I am thrilled to be teaming up with Amazon Prime Video and Wattpad to write this exclusive chapter that puts my characters from this story into the world of Panic!

I hope this chapter intrigues and inspires you to learn more about Panic. Visit the #PanicWritingContest on Wattpad for the chance to put your creative writing chops to the test and learn more about the show!

To find out more about the contest, prizes, and how to enter, check out the #PanicWritingContest here: wattpad.com/AmazonPrimeVideo

Don't forget to watch the series premiere on May 28th, only on Amazon Prime Video, here: http://primevideo.com/

--

My mother, the infamous Maggie Brogan, once said, that a dip in the ocean was the best baptism you could find. Forget the church fonts. Forget the baptismal pools and the Hail Mary's. Maggie said a full-on plunge into the sea, when it's so cold that it takes your breath from your body, was the best cleansing your soul could get.

Of course, my mother's soul had been lost years before her death, and no amount of plunging herself into oceans would ever have rid her of the black stain that shrouded her heart.

Looking at the ocean now, with the moon glinting on the surface and lit up by the vibrant scarlet flares that lined the coast, I found it hard to believe a dip into its inky depths would be cleansing. From here, it looked like the blackest of oil, thick and viscous. Quicksand ready to pull you under.

'The first Panic challenge awaits, graduates of Carp!' A voice rasped through a loudspeaker behind me, where the crowds had gathered, eager and hungry, like sharks awaiting the sweet tang of fresh meat. 'Will you dare to risk The Jump? Announce your entrance to the competition by leaping off the cliff into the waters below. One hundred points will be awarded to everyone who makes the jump. An extra twenty-five points to anyone who takes it up a level to the High Jump. Crank it up to Suicide Leap and you'll get an extra one hundred points or immunity from any challenge of your choice!'

I turned to face them, confusion fogging my brain. The voice was American. Southern. A Texan twang, maybe?

'I shouldn't be here,' I said, more to myself than to anyone who might be within earshot. 'I should be...'

The thing was, I wasn't sure where I should be. Not anymore.

I'd been cruising like driftwood, bobbing the shallows, floating along wherever the flow took me. Only it didn't seem like I'd been getting anywhere.

I'd had it all planned out at the beginning. Concentrate on staying clean. Become everything Maggie Brogan hadn't been. And then find him.

Find Ethan.

And it had all been going just fine, until recently. The closer I'd got to D-Day, as Berith liked to jokingly call it, the more I began to feel adrift with it all. I'd been treading water. Getting nowhere. Lost.

That was it. I was lost.

And now, apparently, I was lost in a town called Carp and I had no idea where Carp was or what the Hell I was doing here.

'Step forward, graduates!' the disembodied voice called out again. 'It's time to climb!'

I was jostled to my left as a group of people began to walk in line past where I was standing. My hand went instinctively to my distended stomach, finding nothing but air. It had been a while since I'd been able to see my own feet underneath my belly full of Lily, and I don't know why, but seeing them now scared me. I wasn't ready. Not yet. Not without Ethan.

Ahead, the crowd parted, allowing the contestants through to the base of the cliffs. A hand snagged at my own and I jumped out of my jumbled thoughts to see a young girl, with long black waves of hair and a glint in her eyes that I was sure I recognised.

'Come along, dear,' she said, in a clipped English accent that I definitely knew only too well. 'Don't be such a scared little piggy!' Her wicked laughter was swallowed by the jeers and cheers of the crowd.

'Juliette?'

She hadn't looked like Juliette, but I knew only too well how Demons were masters of concealing their identities. Ancient chameleons, changing to fit whatever situation they found themselves in.

I pushed through the crowd, trying desperately to spot the girl. If she was Juliette, then she might know where to find Ethan and as much as I hated every screwed-up, twisted atom of that woman's existence, I knew I would do literally anything to get him back. The hole in my chest had been growing every day. This ever-deepening chasm into which my heart was sinking.

Yep. I'd do anything. Even if it meant joining forces with the mad demon who had tortured Addi and me.

'Won't do you no good to follow ghosts, babygirl.'

It was as if the very thought of him had somehow conjured him into this madness. Addi stood, as always, by my side, an ever-present constant in my life. His presence always served to provide some much-needed balance. How different he was now to the raver I'd met in Ibiza. The one I'd shared wild, crazy nights and numbing comedowns with. The one who'd partied with me until the end.

Still, I should imagine having your life-force sucked out of your chest by a soul-eating Demon was likely to curb your enthusiasm just a little bit.

'She might know something, Ads,' I said, craning my neck to see if I could find her again. 'She might be able to help.'

Addi hissed. 'Let me tell you something, that woman only helps one person and that's herself. Trust me, all she'll do is lead you on some damn wild goose chase and try to harvest your soul. You're a pretty lucrative commodity on the demon black market, you know?'

My shoulders drooped, as if my bones had suddenly become so heavy that they threatened to drag my whole body to the ground. He was right. Being an Endorian meant I had to be careful, especially when I had someone other than myself to think of now. The Angels might have been gone, but there were plenty of Demons still operating who'd give up just about everything to get their hands on a witch such as myself. In fact, there were other witches who'd do anything to get their hands on me.

'I've got to do something,' I said. 'I just want...' I stopped, the grief wrapping my heart in its fist and squeezing hard.

'What do you want, Case?'

I saw Ethan's face then. That smirk I'd once hated and now ached to see again. The way he used to fuss with his hair at the front. That constant frown in the mirror as if he didn't like what he saw. The spark in his eyes. His demon eyes. Black. Inky. Like darkness and light combined. Beautiful.

'You know what I want, Ads. I just want him back. I'm scared to do this without him.'

'Then you know what you gotta do,' Addi said, looking up. Way up.

The crag was the highest point. I could see a few figures already up there, like gulls on the edge, waiting to swoop down. My heart thudded. A wave of dizziness rocked me back on my heels.

'Suicide Leap, babygirl,' Addi said. 'The Big One. Not without risks, but what is life without risks, yeah?'

'I would have thought you'd have been done with taking risks by now, Ads.'

'Listen, it's not me that's got to jump from it. But, if you want him, that's what you gotta do.'

'It's a long way to fall,' I said, scraping my teeth over my bottom lip and regretting it instantly because that's what he used to do. The chasm widened and my heart dropped a little further into the darkness.

'You call that a long way?' Berith made a snorting sound by my ear and jabbed a finger up to the skies above. 'You want to try falling from Heaven. Now that's a long way.'

'Alright, big guy,' Addi said, sucking on his teeth. 'Not a damn competition here, you know.'

'Actually, I think you'll find it is, Addison.' Berith casually pulled his long dark curls back into a bun. He had such a knack for that, and it always looked irritatingly cool. 'The higher the contestants go, the greater the rewards. So, what's it to be, Endorian?'

He fixed his steady gaze on me. It was hard to believe this man-mountain of muscle and smooth, perfect skin was once Oscar, the sleazy, past-his-prime gangster with the bad taste in suits and a nasty streak higher than the jump from Suicide Leap. 'Climb to the very top and claim the reward you seek, or go for the easy option and get nothing?'

'Wow,' I said, wrinkling my nose. 'The choices here are top notch. Thanks, fellas.'

There was no choice. Of course, there wasn't. I knew that as soon as Addi had said it. My heart knew it. I could fool myself into thinking the thud had been because of the heights I'd have to climb, but the thud was for Ethan. It was always for Ethan.

'And he'll be there?' I asked, looking up.

'What the blue blazes are you waiting for, girl? A bleeding bus or something? Stop whining and get yourself up there.'

I turned sharply to look at Berith whose gaze was fixed on the top of the cliff, a mischievous smirk curling his mouth at one corner.

'Honestly, stop doing that, man,' Addi said, his face twisting with distaste. 'Gives me the damn shivers hearing you do that Oscar thing.'

'Oh, come on, Addison,' Berith preened. 'You miss him really. I know you do.'

'I'm starting to think it's you that misses that perverted old buzzard. I reckon you got a real taste for that seedy lifestyle of his.'

Berith raised a brow. 'It had its moments, I must say. There was this one time...'

'Okay, that's it,' I said, shaking my head and holding up my hands in surrender. 'I'm not standing here to listen to one of your lurid tales, Berith. The last time had me feeling sick for days.'

'That was morning sickness.'

'Not if I had it too, it wasn't,' Addi said, pointing a thumb at his chest and sporting a grimace.

Berith sighed. 'Humans. You're all so... delicate.'

I walked away, hearing Addi bickering with Berith until the crowd drowned them out. Swallowed them whole. Until it was just me and the walk ahead.

The pathway up the cliffs was long and winding and it had been a while since I'd managed such a journey. Hell, it had been a while since I was able to waddle down the street without needing to sit down halfway to my destination. Gritting my teeth, I kept going, ignoring the exit to the first leap and ruefully eyeing the second. A few of the graduates had opted for the first jump – I couldn't blame them, because even the lowest level meant hurling themselves into the black depths of the ocean and that was scary enough, without heading to the higher leaps.

Reaching the top, I was surprised at how many graduates had been lured in by the prospect of an extra one hundred points to their tally. At the very front of the gathering, a tall, athletic girl was being cheered on by the crowd and, after taking a run up, she threw herself from the edge. My stomach plunged into the depths, together with her terrified scream. After a while, a cheer went up and I could only assume she'd made it. Lucky her, I thought. My stomach hadn't recovered, and it wasn't even me that had jumped.

I scanned the gathering, my gaze feverishly running over every person, looking for his face.

They'd said he'd be here.

Waiting.

Instead, there was nothing but the sound of the ocean, the cheering crowd and my own heart breaking a little more. There was nothing but a sea of faces I didn't recognise. A sea of faces that meant nothing to me. Had this all really been for nothing? Just another spark of hope to be plunged into the cold water and held under the surface? The wind whipped around me, making my eyes water. At least, that's what I told myself it was. I sniffed and cuffed my eyes with my sleeve.

You've suffered worse, Brogan. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself now.

Just ahead of me, a short, pale boy stood with his hands fisted by his sides; his whole body trembling. I was sure if I moved closer, I'd hear the rattle of his bones. He looked younger than the rest and less sure of himself.

'Hey,' I whispered. 'Psst...'

He turned sharply, wincing as if every small movement pained him. I could guess why. Every muscle in his body must have been wound up so tight by now.

'Are you okay?' I asked.

When he spoke, his voice was crackling and hoarse and he had to clear his throat a few times, attempting to force the anxiety out. 'Yeah... sure.'

'You don't have to do this, you know?' I said. 'You could try one of the other jumps. Or, just not take the challenge at all.'

The boy's eyes widened in disbelief. 'Are you freaking kidding me? The more points you score, the higher your chance of winning this thing. And I gotta win this. It's my only way out of this damn town. I have to do this.'

'There's always another way,' I said.

'Not for the likes of me,' he said, his tone hardening as he glanced at the other participants. 'Look at them and look at me. I'm the runt of the litter, right? No one expects anything of me. No one thinks I can do any good. No one thinks I'm worth anything.' He trailed off and looked at his feet. 'Maybe they're right,' he mumbled. 'Maybe you're right.'

I stared at him, my mouth open, remembering a girl who thought she was worthless. Remembering how that girl used to rub her fingers over the worn metal of the small, silver crucifix that her mother had given her once and dream of a life somewhere other than the Hell in which she lived. How she would have given anything just to escape. To be free of all the ghosts that weighed her down and held her back.

I swallowed. 'No,' I said, firmly. 'I'm wrong.' I nodded at the line of contestants. 'You don't have to be a cheerleader or a sports star to take a leap of faith. As stupidly cliched as it sounds, you just need one ounce of courage. That's all. A split second to flip that switch and just bloody go for it. You can do this. You can.' I grinned. 'Anyway, who knows, maybe you'll grow a pair of wings on the way down and they'll carry you all the way to the bottom.'

'Like an angel?' he said, his brow crinkling.

'No. God, no,' I chuckled, shaking my head. 'Like a giant scarlet ibis.'

'I don't know even know what that is,' the boy said.

'It's the most beautiful bird,' I replied. 'Radiant. Strong. Google it when you've completed the jump.'

The boy gave me an odd look. I couldn't blame him. I probably sounded like a mad person, talking about tropical birds when he was about to throw himself into the hungry black sea below.

'Thanks, lady,' he said, giving me one last glance before he joined the now-dwindling queue.

When he finally jumped, he did it with a whoop and a scream and I closed my eyes and waited for the cheer to signal he'd made it. My heart climbed a little when I heard it.

'When did Casey Brogan, Queen of Not Giving a Damn About Anyone Even Herself, become such a softie?'

I opened my eyes.

Breathe, Brogan, don't forget to breathe.

Turning, slowly, I glanced back over my shoulder, sure it must be a trick. The wind whispering in my ear like the cruellest of demons. A wraith, maybe? I was used to their presence, after all.

'Are you a ghost?' I whispered.

'Well, I'm pretty sure I'd have to be dead to be a ghost and the last time I checked, I was very much alive, albeit, not in quite the same way I was before,' he said.

Ethan said. Ethan said those words.

I, on the other hand, couldn't utter one word. Not even one, damn syllable. I just stood there, staring at him, like it was the first time all over again. Watching him, watching me, as I fell to the floor at the New Year's Eve rave.

I wasn't falling now, but I wasn't sure how much longer I could remain standing. Forget plunging into the cold sea, this was enough to knock the breath clean from my lungs.

He looked as he always had. Handsome, if not a little tired around the eyes. A touch of darkness in his expression. A casualness about his stance.

'You know, you're not usually this quiet. I expected the Brogan sharp tongue. That irritating habit you have of asking so many annoying questions. Maybe some chastising. Okay, definitely some chastising. Is that it? Are you building yourself up to tell me how reckless I was? How I shouldn't have done it? How I shouldn't have left you?'

'You shouldn't have left me.' I swallowed hard. Heat shrouded my eyes and I fought back the mist which threatened to creep over them.

He raised a dark brow. 'Okaaaay, that was... not a good effort at chastising. What happened to you? First, you're nice to that kid and now you're not giving me Hell for what I did. It's... weird.'

I offered a shaky smile. 'You're calling me weird? The guy who spent years living in a dingy dimensional apartment and didn't even bother to sort out the interior design?'

Ethan cocked his head to one side and wrinkled his nose. 'Oh, yeah. That. I'll remember the scatter cushions next time. Would that make you happy?'

'There's lots of things that would make me happy right now. I'm not sure scatter cushions are top of the list.'

'Oh?' He stepped closer. Not close enough. 'So, what is top of the list?'

'Do I really need to say it?'

Ethan shrugged and gave a playful grin. 'You know me, got an ego larger than the moon up there.' He nodded up to where the ethereal orb peeked out from behind the rolling clouds. 'I do like to know I'm numero uno on the Happy List. Does wonders for my self-esteem.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Okay, fine. You win. You're the one thing that would make me happy right now. The only thing.'

'Ah, I get exclusivity, do I?'

He moved closer, until he was right there. Right there in front of me. I could reach out and touch him. Hold him. I could breathe in his scent. Taste his skin if I wanted.

'I like the idea of that. Really feeds into my sense of self-importance,' he continued. 'You always have had a knack for making me feel good about myself. Of course, that is after you stopped hating my guts.' He paused, studying my face. 'Wait, you did stop hating my guts, right?'

'I might have hated you a little bit when I got so big, I couldn't fit into my jeans. When I couldn't stop peeing every five minutes. When I stopped being able to tie my own laces.'

Ethan chuckled, a small low chortle of laughter that he couldn't stop from bursting out and I slapped his arm lightly, marvelling at how real he felt and despairing that he wasn't.

None of this was.

I looked down, unable to keep the tears at bay any longer.

'Hey.' Touching a finger to my chin, he raised my head, so that my gaze met his. 'I thought you said this would make you happy.'

'It would... if it was real, but it's not, is it?' I glanced around. 'We're in a town called Carp, surrounded by American high school students and apparently I'm meant to be taking part in this challenge, only I don't know why. So, it must be a dream, right? This isn't real. You're not real.'

'Now that comes down to perceptions of reality. Physicality doesn't have to be the only measure for what's real and what isn't. Who's to say this isn't real, in a different dimension, an alternative reality?'

He caught me staring at him, my brow crinkling and laughed again. 'Of course, this could also just be a dream, but so what if it is? My father used to say that all dreams had substance, even if it was the most minute of details. Even in the craziest of dreams, there's always something there rooted in reality. Something we're meant to see. Something we're meant to know.' He sniffed. 'Anyway, if this is a dream, I kind of like it.'

Sliding his hand to my neck, his thumb lightly grazed my jawline and I leant into it, relishing the warmth of his palm.

'I like it too,' I croaked. 'But all dreams end, and when I wake up, you'll still be gone. I'm tired, Ethan. I'm tired of doing all this on my own. I know I have Addi and Berith, but it's not the same as having you with me. I've been trying to hold on for so long and each day it just gets harder and harder without you.'

Ethan leant his forehead against mine and I curled my hands into the lapels of his jacket like I never wanted to let go ever again.

'But you've done so well,' he said. 'Look at you. You're amazing. You're almost there, Case. You're so close now and you can do this, I know you can.'

I pulled back slightly to stare into his face. 'I know you keep saying I'm the strong one. I'm the resilient one. I'm the one that's got myself through everything life has thrown at me, but the truth is I can't do this without you. Not anymore.'

Ethan took one of my hands and threaded his fingers through mine. God, I'd missed this so much. I'd missed him. His touch. The way he looked at me, like he just knew.

'Sake, Case, don't you get it yet? I'm here. I've always been here.'

His other hand slid to the small of my back, pulling me against him. The warmth of his body felt good. Like I'd never felt such a luxury in my whole life. You could keep your designer gear. Your big houses. Your two holidays a year in the bloody Maldives. Your five-star Michelin restaurants. Your influencer lifestyle and ten million followers. I had this. I had him.

And Ethan Drake was worth more than anything this world had to offer.

Behind me the storm was building, and the clouds raged, billowing outwards, an indigo fury. The waves churned in a cauldron.

Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

I snickered.

'What's so funny, Brogan?' he said, fingertips brushing at my chin.

I had the urge to kiss the tiny scar on his nose, so I did. Once. Twice. He grinned, a faint blush creeping into his complexion. I liked that. Who'd ever have thought that the great Helel, son of Lucifer, destroyer of Angels, could blush like a schoolboy?

'Just a witch joke,' I said, wiping away the tears. 'I would explain, but you're a demon and it would probably just go right over your head.'

'Oh, like that, is it?' He smiled wide and I wanted time to freeze right then. Bind us together forever like this, with me drinking in the sheer beauty of his smile.

Instead, he leaned in and kissed me, softly at first, then harder – a real Ethan kiss. Full of passion and want and fire. I melted into it, fusing against him and thought, okay, now time can freeze.

But it didn't.

'It's time, Brogan,' he said, pulling back. In his eyes, I saw the storm clouds mirrored, heavy and pregnant with rain. An endless rolling of obsidian.

'And you'll be with me?' I asked.

'Every second.'

The clifftop was empty now and eerily quiet. Ethan linked his fingers with mine again and squeezed.

'The calm before the storm, eh?' he said, looking out at the tumultuous waves and angry skies.

I exhaled, low and deep. 'Yeah,' I replied, with a smile. 'But what a storm our daughter is going to be.'

'Watch out world.'

'Yes,' I said, and we both laughed softly.

'Ready?'

'No.'

'Good. Remember, deep breaths.'

'Shut up.'

More laughter. Like silk over my skin.

'God, I love you, Casey Brogan.'

'And I love you. Come home soon.'

'I will,' he said. 'On three, yeah?'

1... 2... 3...

We ran then, towards the storm as it thundered towards us, as the clouds finally split apart, and the lightning flickered. As the rain began to fall. At the edge, we jumped, hurling ourselves into the abyss, as the seas seemed to rise up to meet us and swallow us down.

And, as we fell, Ethan never let go of my hand. Not once.

Not until...

*

'Remember, deep breaths,' the voice said, close to my ear.

I inhaled deeply, but it did no good as the pain wracked violently through me, wrapping itself around every muscle and bone.

'Okay, now, Casey, now! Push! Push!'

I bore down and pushed with everything I had left, which didn't feel like much, I had to be honest.

'You're doing it, babygirl,' Addi urged. 'You're doing it.'

I grabbed hold of the side of the bed on one side, and Addi's hand on the other and pushed again, feeling how close I was, knowing that this was it. Finally. This was actually it.

Once more. Once more. Push. Push.

There was silence and then... a cry. Strong. Raging.

As the midwife placed Lily into my arms, she stilled and I held her to my chest, staring in awe at her tiny face. Her tiny hands and feet. I'd always looked at babies and wondered how the Hell you could say they looked like their parents when they were so small and with skin still an angry red from being pushed out of the snug confines of the womb. But, I was certain that Lily looked like Ethan.

'Damn, she is beautiful, Case, truly beautiful,' Addi said, sniffing.

'You crying, Ads?' I said.

'No,' he said, indignantly kissing his teeth and cuffing away the tear that ran down his face.

'No shame in tears at the dawn of a new life,' Berith said from the doorway as the midwife covered me up with a blanket. 'And he's right anyway,' he said as he moved closer. 'She is beautiful.'

'Yeah, she really isn't, isn't she?' I ran a finger gently over her soft cheek. 'Hello, Lily.'

Up above, the lights began to flicker.

Once, then again.

In unison, we all looked up and then back down at Lily who gurgled quite contently in my arms.

The lights continued to blink on and off furiously, then finally stopped.

Lily Drake, daughter of Lucifer's heir and the last true Endorian, had thundered into existence, just as Ethan and I had predicted.

Like a storm.

'Watch out world,' I said.