CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR.
if love is pain, let's hurt tonight

NOVA VAN KIRK felt as if she couldn't breathe.

The walls were closing in on the girl, everything becoming smaller and smaller whilst she became confined within the four empty walls of her own pain and lonely solitude. She felt alone. She didn't know where to go, or who to turn to. She just kept driving until she stopped the car outside the Cameron's, and once she switched the engine off, she just sat there alone, crying, her chest tightening as she slowly fell apart little by little underneath the dark midnight sky, a darkness withering deep inside Nova Van Kirk until she finally snapped.

     Nova knew what she planned to do was wrong. It didn't make her any better than Ward or Rafe Cameron if she went through with this. She even contemplated turning around and going home. But Nova knew there was no turning back now. Ward Cameron stripped the girl of her innocence when he dragged Riley out onto that boat with him the day he murdered Big John. He took her brother away from her. Now she was going to get an explanation, even if it meant using violence to get exactly what she wanted.

Wiping away the tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, Nova slammed her head against the back of her seat, shaky and erratic breaths leaving her quivering lips whilst she wrapped her trembling hands around the steering wheel, clenching it tightly underneath her grip. Nova was doing her best to calm herself down, but the more she tried to ease the wave of overwhelming nerves that pricked at her skin, the more uneasy Nova eventually became. It was like someone had wrapped their hand around her throat, squeezing her windpipe to the point where she couldn't breathe.

She knew she had to make it stop. And the only she knew how was sitting in her back pocket. Nova swallowed thickly and used one hand to wipe away more of her salty tears, whilst the other reached into her pocket and pulled out the small, clear bag filled with white powder. The sight of the familiar drug being enough to make Nova let out a shaky and harrowing breath, a sharp pain erupting in her chest when she realised what she was about to do, and the potential consequences of her actions if she did.

     If she did this then there was no turning back.

     Nova opened up the clear plastic bag and tapped some of the white powder out onto her pointer finger, a strange foreboding twisting knots in the pit of her stomach, and without giving it a second thought, Nova leaned forward and snorted the coke up her nose. Nova then threw her head back, a sigh of relief leaving her lips as the everlasting and euphoric feeling of pure ecstasy took over her body, chemicals flowing through her bloodstream whilst the drugs slowly began to kick in.

After hours of feeling like a walking corpse, she was finally alive again.

The girl then resealed the plastic bag in her hand and stuffed it back into her pocket, before she turned her head to the gun placed in the passenger seat next to her, her hand slowly reaching out for the deadly weapon as she clasped her shaky hand around it, holding it close for a moment. "You can do this." She whispered quietly to herself, shedding one last tear, before she opened the car door and climbed out, now making her way across the greenery surrounding the Cameron property.

Once Nova was close enough to the house, the girl quickly sneaked her way around the corner, heading towards the front door to see the lights were still on. Nova knew she had to be quick in order to avoid getting caught. This caused for the girl to wrap her hand around the door handle and push it open, a quiet creak from the hinges ringing through the silence. Nova couldn't help but wince at the eery sound, hoping no one heard her enter the house, and when she didn't get a response, that gave her the go ahead to keep moving forward.

     Nova knew the most logical place for Ward Cameron to be in the middle of a stressful situation would be his study. This caused for Nova to slowly make way closer towards where she needed to be, her vision becoming blurry for a swift moment, the high that came with the drugs she took fully kicking in. However, Nova was quick to regain herself, before she continued her journey towards Ward Cameron's study, the girl finally coming to a stop when she found herself standing outside the room, realising it was now or never.

     So, with a shaky breath escaping past her lips, Nova curled her fingers around the door handle and pushed the door open, stepping inside the study to see Ward was sat at his desk. Nova's sudden appearance in the room was enough to make Ward lift his gaze, concern washing over his face when he saw the girl, teary eyed, a look filled with anger burning in her bright eyes. He was concerned for the girl, causing for Ward to furrow his brows in confusion.

     "Nova, sweetheart, what are you doing here? It's not safe to be outside right now." Ward informed, but he didn't get a response. All he got was silence. Ward then analysed the girl closely, taking notice in the way she stumbled into the room, the paleness in her cheeks and her dark pupils. It didn't take a genius to figure out she was on something. "Nova, Rafe told me about your drug problem. Whatever this is about we can talk about it after I'll call your father to pick you up—"

Ward made an attempt to reach for his phone on the far end of the desk, but when the older man stood up from his seat, Nova didn't hesitate to raise the gun in her hand, pointing the deadly weapon in Ward's direction. The sight of the gun in the girl's hand was enough to make Ward tense up, his eyes flooding with fear whilst his cheeks drained of all their colour and his blood ran cold. It even made him wonder why Nova had showed up to his house with a gun, but it didn't take him long to glue the pieces together. She must have found out what John B already knew.

"Don't you dare move a muscle." Nova seethed through gritted teeth, blazing fury evident in her teary eyes, narrowing her eyes into a sharp and harrowing glare. "If you even try to call for help or make an attempt to take this gun away from me, I won't hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes." She threatened.

The worse part was that she wasn't even bluffing.

Ward pursed his lips together for a moment, a sigh leaving his lips soon afterwards. "Nova—"

"You know..." Nova trailed off, cutting Ward's sentence short, a bitter chuckle leaving her lips, before she decided to speak again. "For months I've tried figuring out why Riley would kill himself. He had everything, but he still took his own life. I know my brother and I know he would never start taking drugs and he would never have destroyed himself without a valid reason." She explained harshly, tears beginning to flow as they rolled down her cheeks. "Little did I know, it was all because of you."

Ward stood up a lot more straighter, a desperate and frantic look burning in his eyes whilst he stared back at Nova. "I never touched that boy. I treated him like he was my own son." He protest, shaking his head.

     "Then tell me what happened that day on the boat." Nova pressed further, her voice laced with desperation. Ever since John B told her Riley was somehow involved in his dad's murder, the girl had been searching for a reasonable explanation to explain why he would hurt his friend's dad. If she played her cards right, then she would get her answers. "Please, I have to know the truth. You owe me that much." She continued to beg, a pleading look twinkling in her teary eyes.

Ward couldn't help but sigh. "Nova, please, this isn't going to change anything—"

"I deserve the truth, Ward." Nova interjected, stepping closer with the gun to get her point across that he better tell her now, or she would pull the trigger. Despite not liking guns, it didn't mean she didn't know how to use one.

Ward Cameron didn't say much at first, a look filled with regret and guilt clouding up his eyes as he continued to stare back at the broken girl in her fragile state. Despite all the horrors he had committed throughout the last couple of months, believe it or not, he never wanted Riley to die. It was just an unfortunate tragedy, and sadly, not only did a young seventeen year old boy suffer the consequences, but so did his loved ones, including Nova. The loss of Riley Van Kirk was a cut that always seemed to bleed. Ward even wondered if telling the truth was a good idea. But he knew he didn't really have a choice considering there was a gun pointed in his direction.

     "Okay, okay, okay..." Ward whispered quietly, nodding his head. The older man then swallowed thickly, his eyes flickering between Nova and the barrel of the gun aimed in his direction, his lips parting so he could speak. "I knew your brother was fascinated by the Royal Merchant. I knew he was looking for it to make Ethan proud of him, so I offered him a spot on the boat with me and John. I told him he could have a cut of the fortune if we actually found it." He began to explain.

Nova listened to every word Ward was saying to her, sniffling quietly to make sure she didn't miss a thing. She would cling onto every word that left the man's quivering lips, wanting to reassure herself that everything he was telling her was the truth. Judging by the look in Ward Cameron's eyes, he was being completely and utterly honest with her. That was a start at least. She just needed to hear the rest, her mind processing every little thing that Ward told her.

"But John...he wanted a bigger cut. He couldn't help himself. We were so close, but he just had to ruin everything." Ward continued, his gruff voice becoming agitated. Nova could tell he was getting angry at the familiar memory. "Him and I...we fought. All I did was shove him, but he lost his balance and hit his head, and he was bleeding. It was a complete accident." He elaborated further, the horrifying events that took place on that boat all those months ago finally coming to light.

     Nova felt her chest tighten once again, her blood running cold and her bones turning into ice as her breath hitched in the back of her throat, the girl listening closely to what Ward had to say, the older man retelling the gruesome violence that occurred that day. Not only did it shock her to hear the gory details of Ward Cameron's monstrous acts, but it ignited a burning ember filled with ruckus and rage inside of Nova, anger pouring into her bloodstream and seeping through every pore when she remembered her brother was forced to witness every second of Big John's murder.

Ward released a shaky breath past his lips, the memories of that day coming back to haunt him. "Riley...he wanted to help. He went to the radio to call for help." He confirmed, his words being enough to make Nova sigh with relief, a few stray tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. "Your brother tried to save John's life." He reassured the girl, giving her the clarity she desperately needed.

Nova felt a sense of peace and clarity wash over her body when she finally discovered the truth behind Riley's involvement in Big John's unexpected death. For days she was starting to believe that there was a small chance that her brother was a monster like Ward Cameron. She seriously had her doubts in Riley, but hearing the truth come from the man's lips gave her the closure she needed when it came to Riley's involvement, but it still didn't erase the grief in her heart. She still needed to know why Riley took his own life. She was sure Ward had an explanation.

     "John...he was already gone. He wasn't responding. No one could have helped him, and, Nova, I had a reputation to maintain, and a family to take care of. I couldn't go to prison for murder." Ward was rambling at this point, shaking his head frantically whilst he spoke, his hands shaking, beads of sweat coating his forehead. "So, I...I stopped Riley from calling for help. He wanted to do the right thing. But I couldn't risk it. Nova, I would have lost everything. So, I told him—"

     Ward cut himself off, breathing heavily as he leaned over his desk and stared down at the ground, almost like it was painful for him to finally admit the truth. Nova felt a shudder run up her spine, goosebumps forming across her pale skin as a thick lump formed in the back of her throat, threatening to choke the life out of her. Nova feared the worse, worried about what Ward was going to say next, wanting to know what he said to Riley that day because whatever it was, it was enough to force the boy back to shore and act as if nothing happened that day.

     Ward then lifted his gaze to lock eyes with Nova's teary ones, his eyes darkening whilst he continued to stare at the girl in the midst of her frantic and intoxicated state, the gun beginning to shake in her hand. "I told him that if he tried calling for help, or if he told anyone about what happened then I wasn't afraid to tie up any loose ends." He informed.

     Nova felt a throbbing pain erupt in her chest, the sob she had been holding back for some time now slipping past her quivering lips. "You threatened to kill him?" She queried, a look filled with disbelief plastered across her face as she began to lower the gun in her hand. "It makes so much sense now. When he died, you were always trying to help us, but you were only doing it to clear your conscience." She muttered underneath her breath, turning her attention away from Ward.

"I never wanted it to be this way." Ward told her, stepping back from his desk before he began to make his way over towards Nova. "I never wanted anything bad to happen to Riley—"

When Nova realised Ward was getting closer, the girl raising the gun in her hand once again, pointing the deadly weapon in his face, causing for Ward to back away again whilst the girl parted her lips to speak. "Riley looked up to you. When my dad didn't bother giving him the time of day, you were there for him. He always said he wanted to be like you one day, and you stabbed him in the back. You got him killed!" She exclaimed loudly, her emotions getting the better of her.

Ward raised his hand, trying to shield himself away from the gun. "Nova, you're high. You're not thinking straight right now, okay? Just, please, give me the gun before you do something you'll regret," He was saying, his condescending tone only adding fuel to the fire.

"Don't you dare patronise me. You have no room to talk about murder and regrets when you've left a trail of bodies all over the island." She snapped, her harsh voice bouncing off the four walls of the room. Nova then inhaled sharply. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't repay the favour right here, right now." She told him, contemplating whether or not she should finish off the job.

Fear began to sink in, causing for Ward to try and plead his case to the girl. "Nova, please, I have a family—"

"So did Riley and John Routledge, but you still spent months pretending you were innocent whilst we all suffered." She retorted, cutting Ward off in the process. "Why should you get to live whilst people like Riley, John, and Peterkin are all dead?"

However, that was a question Ward Cameron would never get the chance to answer because it didn't take long for another face to join them in the room. Juno O'Connell slowly entered the room, her mouth popping open in shock when she saw the scene displayed out in front of her, the shocking sight of her best friend holding Ward Cameron at gunpoint. It was enough to make Juno's entire body tense, spine tingling trepidation shaking her body to the core.

     "Nova, what the hell are you doing?" Juno asked, her voice shaky whilst she spoke.

     Nova didn't even bother to look in Juno's direction. All she did was keep her sights trained on Ward Cameron, the girl swallowing the thick lump lodged in the back of her throat, before she parted her lips to speak. "Get out of here, Juno. You don't need to see this." She instructed, already making up her mind in regards to Ward's fate.

     "So, that's your big idea?" Juno questioned in disbelief, the girl slowly approaching Nova as she walked around the girl, the O'Connell girl now standing next to Nova to see the tears in the blonde's eyes, and the anger and resentment in her features. "You're going to kill Ward Cameron?"

"He deserves it." Nova deadpanned as she stared into the eyes of her brother's killer.

"Nova, he might deserve it, but just think about what you're thinking of doing right now." Juno paused, tears of her own forming in the corners of her eyes. She had never seen Nova act like this before, and not only was it devastating to watch, but it scared the hell out of her. "You're thinking of killing someone, and, Nova, I can tell you right now that you won't get away with it. The second you pull that trigger, Rose Cameron will come running through that door and you'll be arrested. Nova, he isn't worth ruining your entire life over." She elaborated further.

Nova felt her finger hover over the trigger, her thirst for revenge weighing out her morals. "It's worth it if it means getting justice for everyone he's killed: John B's dad, Riley, Peterkin, and everyone else he's killed in between." She grimaced, holdings back the sobs that threatened to escape past her lips.

     "Nova, don't you get it. If you do this, you're no better than he is." Juno trailed off, pausing for a moment as she took a step closer towards Nova. "Killing him isn't justice. Death is too easy for him. He deserves to rot in a jail and think about every bad thing he's done. Nova, I promise you, we'll find a way to prove he did it. But this isn't the way." She explained, hoping it would be enough to convince Nova to put the gun down.

Nova couldn't stop crying now, salty tears rolling down her cheeks, the deadly weapon that she had grasped tightly in her hand beginning to shake and tremble. Deep down, Nova knew Juno was right, because killing Ward Cameron wouldn't make her feel better, it wouldn't fill the dark void in her chest, and it definitely wouldn't be justice for every person he killed to get the gold that didn't even belong to him in the first place. It was just a temporary solution to a problem she would never be able to erase because at the end of the day, was turning herself into a murderer worth it?

     "He took my brother away from me, Juno." Nova cried, a harsh grit laced in her voice. "He took everything away from me!"

     "Nova, you're wrong, okay?" Juno told her, shaking her head. "You have your parents, and Sarah, and John B, and Pope, and Kiara, and me, you still have me, and JJ is standing right outside waiting for you. Nova, you're not alone." She informed the girl as a few stray tears of her own began to slip past her eyes, before they streamed down her face, dampening her cheeks. "Please, don't throw your life away over this."

     All of a sudden, Nova slowly began to lower the gun in her hand, a quiet sob leaving her lips, before she handed it over to Juno, the girl taking the weapon away before Nova and sticking it in the back of her shorts. Juno then reached out and embraced Nova for a moment whilst her friend sobbed violently into her shoulder, quiet sobs ripping through the tense silence. That was until Juno pulled away and locked her eyes with Nova's teary ones, a reassuring look burning bright in her dark orbs.

     "Let's get you out of here." Juno told her friend, throwing an arm around Nova's waist and holding her close as they began to make their way towards the door.

     "Thank you, Juno." Ward called out to the girl.

     Juno let out a scoff and turned around, coming face to face with Ward, a look filled with burning hatred plastered across her face. "I didn't do this for you. You can rot in hell, you evil bastard." She seethed, before turning back around and exiting the study.

     Together, Nova and Juno walked through the Cameron household, before they exited through the front door, both girls stepping back out into the dark night. When Nova looked around, she spotted JJ approaching them both, a concerned and frantic look evident in his crystal, blue eyes as he continued to stare at Nova. Despite her drug induced state and the tears clouding up her vision, Nova could see JJ was worried for her, and she hated herself for scaring him the way she did. She didn't want him to feel like that when it came to her, making her realise it was a huge mistake coming here in the first place.

     "Are you okay?" JJ asked, but when Nova didn't respond, the boy turned his attention over to Juno. "Is she okay?" He repeated, his voice shaky as he spoke.

     Juno shook her head in response to JJ's question. "Look, we need to get her out of here before anyone else sees her like this. Here, have this..." Juno paused, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a key, before she passed it over to JJ. "It's a key to The Wreck. Kiara gave it to me a while ago. You take my car and drive Nova back there, whilst I go and find Kiara and Pope, then we'll meet you there." She explained. It wasn't a genius plan, but they all needed somewhere to rest that was under the radar. No one would think to search The Wreck.

     JJ nodded his head in response to Juno's clear instructions, before he approached Nova and scooped the girl up into his arms, holding onto her bridal style whilst she rested her head against his chest, the girl not saying a word. He could feel her shake underneath his touch, and he could hear the soft cries that echoed quietly through his ears. To see Nova in such a tough place was enough to pain JJ, the boy wishing he had the power to take her pain away. If only it was that easy.

     "Hey, JJ." Juno called out to him. "Take care of her."

     JJ simply nodded his head, his eyes softening as he parted his lips to speak. "Always."

━━━━━━━━

     The entire drive to The Wreck was spent in complete and utter silence, nothing being said between Nova and JJ, not even a single word being exchanged between the pair. JJ steered the car down the road, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the armrest of the car, his enchanting, blue eyes occasionally shifting between the road displayed in front of him, before he would glance over at Nova, who was sitting in the passenger seat beside him. JJ wanted to ask if she was okay after what had just happened. He wanted to comfort the girl after everything she had been forced to endure, but, truth is, JJ didn't know how. He normally knew all the right things to say when it came to Nova, but how do you comfort someone after they almost committed murder?

     Nova didn't say much either. For the entire journey from the Cameron house to The Wreck, all Nova did was sit in silence and stare out at the window as they drove through the island. Normally, Nova found nights in the Outer Banks peaceful and filled with relief and tranquillity. There was nothing better than taking a walk at night when she needed to clear her head from all the negativity that seemed to plague her mind. Nights on the island always seemed to ease her worries when she needed it most.

     However, this time it was different. It was different because the entire island was crawling with cops searching for John B, who JJ had briefly mentioned he was a fugitive lost in the island somewhere, before it went silent again. Nova couldn't go a second without seeing a flash of red and blue lights as JJ drove the car straight past them. It almost seemed like the home Nova had come to love and cherish since she was a child was now slowly falling apart like a sinking ship, and she couldn't do a single thing to stop it.

     So, when JJ turned a corner and parked the car outside of The Wreck, the vehicle slowly coming to halt, before JJ switched off the ignition, the low rumbling of the engine leaving Nova's ears and engulfing the pair in another deafening silence. This caused for Nova to sit upright, before she turned her attention over to JJ to see him staring back at her, a look filled with concern plastered across his face. A small part of her hated how he was looking at her, like she was some fragile doll falling apart at the seams, but Nova was quick to remembered it was only because he cared.

"Do you need help getting inside?" JJ offered, already regretting his poor choice of words.

Nova sniffled quietly and shot the boy a look. "I tried to kill Ward Cameron. I'm not paralysed." She remarked, her voice dripping in sarcasm. Nova then wrapped her hand around the handle and pushed the door open, climbing outside the vehicle and slamming the door shut behind her.

     JJ sighed quietly and followed after Nova, the boy hopping out of the car, before they walked closer towards The Wreck together, and once they reached the front door, JJ took out the key and unlocked it, allowing Nova to enter the establishment. JJ then switched on the nearest light, illuminating the centre of the restaurant whilst Nova took a seat at one of the tables, the blonde rubbing her hand over her face as she inhaled sharply. Nova hated to admit it but relapsing was probably the worse decision she could have ever made, not only because she had gone back on all her progress, but because of the raging headache that came with the drugs after they began to wear off.

"My head hurts." Nova complained, resting her head in her hands whilst she breathed heavily.

JJ walked over towards the front of the restaurant. "I'll get you some water." JJ informed the girl, before he filled the glass in his hand with water from the tap, and brought it over to Nova, placing it down on the table, before he took a seat in the free space next to the girl. Nova then reached out and grabbed the glass, lifting it to her lips and taking a few sips of the refreshing liquid. "Do you want to talk about it?" JJ then blurted out.

     Nova tensed as the familiar memory of what had unfolded back at the Cameron's house not even an hour ago, flashes of her holding a gun at Ward Cameron's head going through her mind like snapshots. How could I be so stupid? Nova thought to herself, knowing that stealing her father's gun and threatening to kill Ward with it was reckless and wrong. It went against everything she believed in. She couldn't even explain it. She wanted answers about Riley and just snapped. Nova was sure tonight would haunt her for the rest of her days.

     "I don't even know why I thought it was a good idea." Nova confessed, a look filled with regret evident in her eyes when she lifted her gaze to stare back at JJ's nurturing ones. "I guess, Rafe just made me snap. He came over to try and justify what he did to Peterkin and when I refused hear him out, he lost it and—"

"He didn't hurt you, right?" JJ cut Nova off, growing concerned by each passing second. Nova continued to stare at JJ to see the way his jaw clenched, a glimmer of anger burning bright in his eyes.

Nova then shook her head. "No. He barely touched me. I locked myself in my dad's study and I took out the gun to defend myself, but, I don't know, I guess, after getting some clarity on the real Rafe Cameron, I just needed to know what Ward did and how Riley was involved." Nova explained, shrugging her shoulders. "I thought Ward would only tell me the truth if I threatened him." She then insinuated.

"And did you, you know, get the truth?" JJ interrogated further, his curious mind wanting to know if Riley Van Kirk was as guilty as they all thought.

"Riley tried to save Big John." Nova announced to JJ, nodding her head. The news was enough to make JJ sigh in relief, a ghost of a smile forming across his lips when he discovered the truth. His friend wasn't a killer after all. "He tried calling for help that day, but Ward stopped him and threatened to kill him too if he ever told anyone." She elaborated further, a bitter chuckle leaving her lips. "Sic semper tyrannis." She whispered.

     "What?" JJ inquired, raising a brow.

     "The suicide note Riley left me. Sic semper tyrannis...thus always to tyrants. He was talking about Ward Cameron the entire time. How the hell did I not see it sooner?" Nova explained, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I should have seen it sooner. I knew Riley was using drugs and I didn't bother talking to him about it. Maybe if I had just said something to him then maybe he would still be alive. Maybe we could have avoided this entire mess—"

"Nova, this isn't your fault." JJ reassured the girl. "You could have never seen any of this coming. Ward Cameron fooled the entire island into thinking he had no involvement with what happened to Big John. We all believed him. The only person you can blame for this is Ward." He informed, reaching out and grabbing Nova's hand with his own, his warm and comforting touch igniting against Nova's.

     However, in that moment, Nova felt a wave of guilt wash over her once again, regret seeping into every pore when she saw the caring look in JJ's eyes. She was reminded of the fact that she didn't deserve his kindness, especially after she betrayed his trust in her and let him down. She did all those things when she made the bad decision of relapsing earlier tonight, her mind flashing back for the moment she snorted some of that addictive white powder up her nose without remorse because she felt as if she deserved it, like after all the shit she had been forced to deal with these last few days, she earned it when in reality, she only hurt herself and the others around her.

     This caused for Nova to push JJ's hand away from her, before she stood up from her seat and walked away from the boy, placing some distance between her and him. JJ couldn't help but furrow his brows in confusion, a puzzled look washing over his face as he watched Nova turn her back on him. It made JJ wonder if he had said something wrong, or done something that Nova didn't like, causing for the boy to stand up from where he was previously sat, before he began to approach Nova hastily.

"Was it something I said?" JJ asked, twiddling his thumbs as he stopped behind the girl.

Suddenly, Nova turned back around to face JJ, tears in her eyes whilst a few salty tears rolled down her cheeks, an apologetic look plastered across her face and guilt twinkling in her eyes. The sight of the girl in the middle of her guilt ridden state was enough to make JJ question why Nova felt this way, and if it was because of something he had done. Maybe if Nova told him what was troubling her, then maybe he could possibly fix it.

"I don't get it..." Nova trailed off, wiping away a few stray tears, before she parted her lips to speak once again. "Why are you being so nice to me?" She then asked him.

"Is that such a bad thing?" JJ questioned in a rhetorical manner, frowning at the girl with a confused look glazed over his blue eyes. "Come on, Nova, what's going on with you?" He pressed further, wanting to know what was making Nova act so strangely all of a sudden.

It fell silent shortly after JJ had spoken, nothing else being said between the two for a brief moment whilst Nova lifted her teary eyes to lock her sights on JJ, who began to grow worried for the girl, even more worried than before with every ticking second that passed them by. It didn't take a genius to figure out that whatever was troubling the girl, it was bad enough to make her want to push JJ away, like she did weeks before when he was trying to help her get clean in the first place. That was when JJ realised what it was, the thought finally crossing his mind.

"I'm sorry, but..." Nova apologised, a soft and quiet cry leaving her lips soon after she had spoken. "You weren't the only one who stole from Barry that day." She told him, finally ready to confess her darkest truth to the Maybank boy.

The second those words left Nova's lips, it finally clicked. JJ noticed the way she swayed back and forth, almost like she was intoxicated, and even how dark her pupils had become since the last time he saw her earlier that same day. Then JJ thought back to when him and Juno went to stop Nova from killing Ward Cameron, and how Nova could barely stand when she left the premises, which was why he carried her to the car to begin with. Maybe, deep down, JJ knew there was something off about Nova the second he came face to face with her earlier tonight, but he didn't want to believe she would cause harm to herself or others in that way again.

And even though he already knew the truth, JJ needed to hear Nova say it out loud. "What do you mean, Nova?" He inquired, his voice barely above a whisper.

Nova inhaled sharply, before parting her quivering lips to speak again. "After you left Barry's with the money, I stayed inside and I saw Barry's stash. I took some." She answered, her words earning a quiet sigh from JJ in response. "But it was just one little bag and I never touched it...until tonight. Everything has just been so fucked recently. Finding out about what happened to Big John and Riley, and Rafe shooting Peterkin. Everything is falling apart and I just needed something to take the edge off, but I'm so sorry, JJ, because I feel like I let you and everyone else down. And I promise to never touch it again." She explained further.

JJ didn't say anything at first. All he did was look down as he ran his hand through his blond hair, a shaky breath escaping past his lips, before he finally decided to speak. "Okay, it's okay. You made a mistake. We all make them, Nova, it's okay." He told her in a reassuring tone, his calm voice being enough to confused Nova. She expected him to be a little bit more upset.

"How is it okay?" Nova retorted, disbelief washing over her features. "I just told you that I relapsed. I betrayed your trust in me after everything we've been through together and you're not even mad about it, or what I did?" She reminded him, confused to learn what she had done barely effected JJ.

"Do you want me to be mad at you?" JJ scoffed, taking a step closer towards Nova whilst he continued to speak. "Fine. I'm pissed at you, Nova. You fucked up and you've let everyone down because, once again, you've put your own selfish needs above what was right. Is that what you wanted to hear?" JJ exclaimed loudly, the boy now towering over the girl. But when Nova didn't say anything else in response, JJ only huffed loudly. "Jesus christ, Nova. What else do you want me to say?"

In that very moment, Nova remained silent, her crystal, blue eyes analysing JJ closely for a moment, her opal eyes flickering between his enchanting gaze and then down to his lips, a shaky breath leaving her lips when a strange mix of wanting and desire erupted in the pit of her stomach. Nova then felt crackling thunderstorms ignite in her veins, pulsating sharply through her bloodstream whilst she came to the realisation of what she wanted, well, more like who she wanted. And it was in that very moment, she couldn't resist temptation any longer.

     "I don't want you to say anything." Nova mumbled, before she placed her hands on either side of JJ's face and leaned forward and made an attempt to kiss JJ, her lips almost touching his own.

However, JJ was quick to place his hand's on Nova's and pull back before she could get the opportunity, his hands holding onto her own for a moment whilst he began to speak. "Nova, no." He warned her.

Nova shrugged her shoulders, a frown plastered across her face. "Come on, JJ. It's nothing that hasn't happened before," Was all Nova said, before she made an attempt to kiss JJ again, but like before, JJ was quick to stop the girl from doing anything stupid, causing for Nova to stare at the boy with hurt in her eyes. "Please, JJ. I need you to make me something — anything." She begged, hoping he would give in.

"No. You're upset, and you're high, and I don't want to take advantage of you." JJ deadpanned, shaking his head in the process. "And I'm not going to hook up with you to make you feel better. I'm not that kind of guy. And I know we've been here before, but things are different now." He explained, trying to make it as clear as possible that nothing was going to happen between them tonight.

     All of a sudden, Nova stepped back from JJ, an angered look becoming evident in her eyes for a moment, before she scoffed quietly, shaking her head. "I feel so stupid. I'm just going to go." She told him, before she brushed past JJ and began to make her way back outside.

     JJ was quick to follow after the girl, rushing outside whilst he muttered pointless profanity underneath his breath. "Nova, come on." JJ sighed, pushing the door open and chasing after the girl as she walked down the dock that led to the entrance. "Nova, where are you even going to go?" He called out to her, causing for Nova to stop in her tracks, before she tuned around to face JJ.

     "I don't get it." Nova told him, her frustrated tone ripping through the air. JJ could tell she was pissed at him, and for once in his life, he understood why. "One minute you're into me, and then the next, you're not. I try to kiss you at the beach but you pull back, and then you kiss me at my house, and the other day you were seconds away from telling me something, and unless I'm reading too much into things, I'm pretty damn sure I know what it is. But now you're pushing me away and I don't understand why." She explained, beginning to pour her heart out to the boy.

JJ huffed loudly, running a hand through his hair again. "Nova, it's complicated." He argued back.

"No, it's not." Nova snapped, taking a step closer towards the boy. "You either like me or you don't. Come on, JJ. I'm standing here in front of you right now and I'm trying to hold onto the possibility of us. I am holding onto you for dear life, but you keep pushing me away and shutting me out." She reminded him, tears brimming in her eyes all over again.

     JJ didn't say anything back, and instead he just stared down at the blonde, his eyes softening at the sight of the girl when he realised what she was trying to tell him. Nova liked him, and not in a friendly way. She really liked him and hearing that news should have gave JJ the go ahead he needed to do the one thing he always wanted since the moment he truly connected with the girl all those months ago after the party at the chateau. But JJ couldn't help but fear the unknown, his heart cowering away and hiding from the possibility of letting himself fall for the one girl he's wanted since that night.

     Nova released a trembling breath past her lips. "Come on, if I was any other Kook, Pogue, or Touron throwing myself at you, you would gladly hook up with them with zero hesitation. So, what makes me so different compared to anyone else, huh?" She pressed, trying to get a valid answer out of JJ.

     JJ cursed under his breath, exhaling, before he glanced back at the girl. "Because I—" JJ tried to say, but he quickly cut himself off, not being able to form the words he needed to say in order to make Nova stay. "Because..." JJ just couldn't bring himself to do it, his fear sinking in each time he tried.

     Nova nodded her head, a look of hurt glazed over her eyes as she slowly began to back away from JJ. "Then I guess we're done here." She declared, before she turned around and began to walk away from the boy,

     JJ watched as Nova began to walk off into the opposite direction, the further she went, the more JJ began to regret his decision to say nothing. This caused for JJ to bite down on the inside of his cheek, the boy lowering his gaze so he was staring down at the ground, contemplating whether telling Nova the truth was the right thing to do. If he stayed silent, then there was a possibility that he would lose her, and for good this time. But if he told her then he was opening up the possibility for him to get his heart broken in the long run. JJ had never been good at relationships, and the one he had built with Nova was something he didn't want to ruin. However, it was a risk he was willing to finally take if it meant he could finally have the one person he's always wanted.

     "Nova, I love you."

     Nova Van Kirk stopped dead in her tracks when she heard those three incredibly important and life altering words leave JJ's lips. Her heart began to hammer hard in her chest, a hoard of butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach as she slowly turned back around to face JJ. She noticed him staring back at her, a ghost of a smile forming across his lips when he finally said those words. The sight alone was enough to make Nova's heart swell in her chest, the girl beginning to listen whilst JJ continued to speak.

     "I love everything about you." JJ called out to the girl, the weight that had been weighing him down for weeks finally lifting from his shoulders, his biggest secret finally coming to light. "I love your smile, I love your laugh. I love how when you get angry, you get this small crease in your forehead, or when your thinking too hard, you scrunch up your nose. I love how you can sit down at the beach and watch the ocean for hours. I love how much you care for everyone around you and how big your heart really is. I love that you don't take shit from anyone and can be a total badass..."

     Nova couldn't help but giggle quietly in response to JJ's confession, her heart beginning to swell in her chest. She almost couldn't believe it. JJ loved her. JJ Maybank was in love with her. It took him a long time to finally admit it, and there were times when Nova truly believed she was reading too much into a connection that wasn't even there to begin with. But JJ was really in love with her. The realisation was enough to bring a heartwarming grin to Nova's lips whilst JJ continue to ramble some more.

     "I've loved you for a long time. And you were right. I was pushing you away. I wanted to tell you before, and when Kiara interrupted us the other day, a part of me was relieved because...I mean, come on, Nova. Look at me..." JJ trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. I'm dead weight and that's no good for a girl like you. You have a whole life ahead of you whilst I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of mine. I didn't want to hold you back. So I kept quiet in hopes that we could just be friends, but, Nova, I don't want to be just friends anymore."

     JJ couldn't help but laugh, continuing to stare at Nova with love and admiration burning bright in his eyes. "I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street, and kiss you in front of all our friends. I want you. . . all of you." He told her, his declaration of love bringing joy into not just his heart, but Nova's heart too. "I know I ran away from the idea of us before, but I'm done running because I love you. I love you, Nova Van Kirk and—"

     "JJ," Nova spoke up, putting an end to JJ's endless rambling as she began to approach the boy,

     JJ furrowed his brows together, nodding his head. "Yeah?" He replied.

"Shut up," Was all the girl said as she placed both of her hands on either side of JJ's face, bringing him closer, before she pressed her lips against his.

When Nova's lips met JJ's, a magical spark of electricity ignited in the girl's stomach, crackling fireworks exploding in her veins whilst her lips continued to move in perfect sync with JJ's, almost like two puzzle pieces finally coming together to create one perfect masterpiece. JJ then lifted his hand and caressed Nova's cheek with a gentle touch, bringing her closer and deepening the kiss, insatiable desire burning bright from a single ember of love and admiration for each other, birthing an unbreakable connection between the pair.

     Nova was the first to pull away from the kiss, the girl completely breathless as she looked up to lock eyes with JJ, who stared back at Nova with a glimmer of amazement twinkling in his eyes, his swollen lips parting so he could speak. "Wait. Does this mean—"

     "Yes." Nova confirmed, nodding her head, the bright and infectious smile that was planted on her lips never leaving her face. "I love you. I love you, JJ Maybank."

     That was all JJ needed to hear, a quiet chuckle leaving his lips, before he pressed his lips against Nova's once again. This caused for Nova to kiss back in seconds, the girl moving her hands from the sides of JJ's face, and around to the back of the boy's neck, her fingers getting tangled in his blond locks, their lips continuing to move together for a little while longer. That was until JJ made the decision to break away from the kiss, the boy resting his forehead against Nova's, the tips of their noses grazing gently against one another's whilst they continued to stare deeply into each other's eyes as they smiled.

And in that very moment, one single thread of gold tied Nova's and JJ's heart together, a twine binding their love to create one incredibly perfect masterpiece, because Nova Van Kirk loved JJ Maybank. The best part was that he loved her too, and to Nova. . . that was everything.

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authors note.
HOW ARE WE FEELING JJNOVA NATION 🎤🎤🎤

YES IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! JJNOVA ARE FINALLY CANON AND I COULD NOT BE MORE HAPPIER FOR MY BABIES ( also i deadass listened to this is me trying by taylor swift and someone to you by banners when writing this scene and did i cry? absolutely )

ANYWAYS WHAT ARE WE THINKING??? DID WE LIKE???