Zeke had to go 'home' so I went into the apartment by myself. Amanda ran out of her room when I closed the door behind me. She abruptly stopped in front of me and tried to compose herself.

"So, you guys are like, together together? It's pretty fucking weird that he stuck around all afternoon today when you guys met, hmm I don't know, two days ago? Three days ago? What the fuck happened?" She grabbed some bags from me (one trip gang, where ya at), and helped put them down on the table and counter in the kitchen.

"I think we really hit it off, but mostly just as friends." I put the yogurt tubes in the fridge first.

"Just friends? He said, 'when you know, you know', that's not just friends?!" She leaned against the counter, hands on the edge. Her hair was all over the place, unusual for her, and she was in pajamas. She might have been napping I guess and ran out when I made noise.

"Well, I mean. We agreed to continue seeing each other but we're not- we're not physical." I put the wine bottle in the cabinet above the fridge.

"So... you guys were actually just hanging out... this afternoon... and after the date..." She turned her head to the side, looking at me in disbelief.

"You... you're not hitting that? He's... I mean he's nice to look at." I turned around to face her square on, the bag of chocolate pretzels in my hand.

"We're just testing the waters." Her jaw drops.

"Ah, come on Gwen, you're serious?" She pushed herself off the counter and headed back to her room. She was shaking her head.

"I don't know man. There's nothing wrong with going slow. Just let me know how it goes next time, okay? Goodnight." She closed the door behind her. It was only around 9 pm, but I guess she wanted to get in some sleep.

"Goodnight!", I finished putting away the groceries and stuffed the reusable bags in the closet by the door. I leaned my head against the wall, and let myself slide down into a squat. This was the first time today I had a moment to myself. I was actually really tired.

I thought about David, I know I wasn't supposed to, but it was hard not to. Earlier at the store, Zeke brought up my wine drinking. David was big into wine drinking and we had gone on a few wine tours in the two months we were together. I wasn't sure if I actually liked wine or I just liked feeling like he was still a little bit in my life even if he wasn't.

David was the elegant one in our relationship. To be fair I don't think I could be considered elegant any day of the week, but he was something else. He never wore jeans. He never wore jeans. My head was hurting.

It had been 9 months since he broke up with me, and I was still here thinking about him. Daydreaming about him. I never saw it coming. He asked me to talk a walk with him after he got off work, and he actually had roses with him.

What kind of guy brings roses to the girl he was going to break up with? There were half a dozen of them or so, dark red. He walked me around the park but ended up pulling me onto a bench.

"After today, we don't know each other. We're strangers."

"What?" I was quiet as he took off his coat and wrapped it around me. I shrugged it off my shoulders.

"You're breaking up with me?" He closed his eyes and turned away from me. I got up off the bench.

"Seriously? Bringing me flowers? What the hell!" He winced. His hair danced in the light wind.

"Forget about me." He stood up and held up the flowers to me.

I threw the flowers down.

I didn't see him again after that night. It was exactly like we had never met, except Amanda had to hear me cry about him. He never texted me, never called me. My whole world turned on a dime. I had to pretend everything was fine, and that our short fling meant nothing to me either. I wasn't very successful.

I let my head fall into my hands.

I felt warm hands on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Zeke was 'back'. I don't know if he was ever really gone, or if he watched me sink into my head.

"Yeah, I'm okay." For some reason, I was so calm around Zeke. The heaviness in my heart seemed lighter, and I almost immediately felt relaxed.

He helped me stand up. I let my head fall to the side.

"Could I get more 'alone time'?" I put air quotes around the alone time. He looked concerned.

"Okay." He didn't argue, and then he was just gone. I guess I blinked and he 'left' because I didn't see anything, and even though I expected it, I jumped back. I grabbed at my chest, my heart pounding. It was unsettling to see people and objects appear and disappear out of thin air. I wonder if it would ever get old, or if I'd forget before it did.

I got ready for bed, took a shower and whatnot. I spent a good time letting the hot water wash over my head. I didn't know where my life was going.