Four

I tried to pretend nothing had happened.

Regrettably, my phone hadn't been charging last night and was still dead. I found it on my bedside stand. My bed wasn't made but nothing else about my room was out of place.

My room was pretty decent considering the rent I paid. The floors were a grey carpet, but the really stiff short kind. There was a large window adjacent to my bed, facing the door way. I had grey, think curtains hanging up which were pretty much always down. I slept in pitch black, and with a sleeping mask. I had to buy the curtains when I moved in because the city lit up my room like a night light.

Amanda had questions for me.

"So, how did it go?" Apparently, I, or Zeke I'm guessing, texted her that I didn't need a ride home because I got one, and that I was going over to Zeke's for some time. I can't imagine how he did that because my phone has been dead for the last 12 hours but I wasn't curious enough to ask him.

It was exactly like they said. I couldn't even tell Zeke was there. I honestly didn't know if he still was, but I wasn't interested in testing that out.

"He was... it was fine." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell the truth now because then she would wonder why I went over to his place, even though I didn't. Well, I guess I did this morning. But not of my own will.

"That's it? That's all you'll tell me? Oh, you're wicked Gwenevere." Amanda had class in the mornings, so she was up and about while I was drinking my coffee over my laptop in the living room. She was currently dancing around making lunch. She had actually already had her first class and came home in between to eat.

"Gwen, where is the peanut butter? I can't find it." Her voice echoed from her speaking with her head in the cupboard. Because her head was in the cupboard, she didn't see the cabinet door open behind her, revealing the peanut butter, and then gently closing the door.

I guess he was listening in. "Hey Ams, I might have left it in the cupboard above the microwave. I had some last night and I was pretty tired." She opens the cupboard and grabs the container.

"I can't believe you would do me dirty like this. You were tired? It was fine? You're really not going to tell me anything. You expect me to believe sex with him was just 'fine'?" I choked on my coffee.

"We didn't- we didn't have sex. Wha- why do think that?" She looked at me while sucking on a spoon.

"I'm sorry. What was I supposed to interpret from 'hey I'm going to his place tonight, don't worry about me I'll be taken care of good, winky face'." I put my hand on my forehead. I shook my head. It was like I was being haunted but instead of being afraid for my life I was just afraid of what he would do without my permission. Obviously, he could open the cupboards. He could send texts from a phone that was dead.

I don't think I went five minutes without thinking about him the entire day. It was just impossible. I went to my 2pm class. I was lucky I walked everywhere, because I was too distracted to drive. Physical Chemistry was uneventful. I wondered if Zeke was actually watching the lecture or if he was even around anymore. I didn't have anyone to talk to in that lecture.

At 3.30pm I had Calculus. I sat next to Jennifer every class. Jennifer was a looker. She had beautiful rich skin, and long black hair. She was a international student, and though she was studying quantum mechanics she honestly could have been doing modelling gigs on the side. I wondered if Zeke was a lady's man, if he would comment on my friend. Wait, did angels feel attraction? Could angels be gay? How could I casually bring that up?

"Hey! Did you finish Friday's homework set because I completely forgot about it and I think it's due tonight?" I was comfortable with this rhythm. For the first time today, I didn't think about Zeke. My professor went on about integrating irregular R cubed functions. I spent half the time writing pretty notes, underlining words with my highlighter, and telling jokes to Jennifer.

Class ended at 5pm, and Jennifer asked me if I wanted to grab fries and work on the assignment. I told her I had to pass because shit was kind of going down in my life. She was understanding. I walked home alone. It was fall now, and the leaves were turning color and falling around me. There were so many trees on campus.

I walked by many nameless people, and I wondered if anyone else was in my situation. Who else knew about angels and didn't say anything? If I was harboring this secret it made perfect sense to me that other would too. Maybe it was more common than I thought.

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe I was alone in these thoughts. Maybe angels don't exist, and I've been having delusions for the past 24 hours. Did I trust myself? I stopped in my path, someone from behind me complained that they almost ran over me. I bit my lip. How do I prove that this is happening?

At home I was alone. Amanda was out and I didn't know when she would be back. I put both my hands splayed down on the table, leaning for stability.

"Zeke. If you are really there, and really an angel, how can you prove it to me? Because I'm going to lose my fucking mind."

He was in front of me, there was no warning, nothing that signalled his arrival. He was just there.

"The whole idea is that the less time I spend pushing this idea of angels and beyond onto you, the easier it'll be to clean up this mess." He was wearing a white shirt and jeans. He didn't look like an angel. He just looked like a regular...really hot guy.

"I'm going to forget all of this."

"Yes. Soon. That's the plan." He waved his hands around. He was serious. "I'm not a fan of this arrangement either."

"How do I know?"

"What?"

"How do I know I'm not crazy?" I held the sides of my head. I started pacing. He didn't get it. I was starting to doubt that the things around me, things I perceived as reality, were real. It was alarming.

"I'm pretty fucking real. Doubt you could imagine up someone like me." I covered my face with my hands. I don't know what I was asking of him anyways. He came when I called, that should mean something, right? Can people hallucinate at will?

"Amanda's here." The door opened. Zeke was gone, with no exit warning or remains. Amanda dropped her yoga bag on the floor with a sigh, carefree.

"Oh my God, I stink." She sang, and she marched towards the washroom. Not a clue that Zeke was just here. I realized that bothered me. I wanted her to notice him.

If she saw him too, then I couldn't be hallucinating- right?