Chapter Thirty-Five; Goodbye, Apathy
After Ryan had cooked dinner, which, after Abby had suggested he make, was spaghetti, the four of them sat at the counter as they ate, Janelle on one end, with Ryan beside her, and Kenneth on the other end, beside his fiancé. Janelle listened intently as Ryan spoke, telling stories about his band, after Abby had asked him to. After he finished his sentence, he lifted his fork, taking a bite of his spaghetti.
"So...how did you meet your band?" Kenneth Asked, Which, of course, surprised Janelle, since he didn't seem to be much of a talker.
"Well," Ryan mumbled, before swallowing his food. "Zach, our guitarist, and I both played soccer in school. I met the others when I moved to Colorado."
"How did you get your band name?" Abby chimed in, causing Ryan to let out a small chuckle.
"Well, we were going to be called Republic, but added the 'One' when I googled 'Republic' and decided that we'd never be more popular than the Republic of China." He stated, earning a couple of laughs from everyone.
Abby took another bite of her food, before looking back at Ryan, who was doing the same. "But really, what's it like being a celebrity and all?" She Asked. "Is it hard?"
Ryan shrugged. "Actually, the band can go out and we don't even get recognised." He said. "It's kind of nice, honestly, not to have people following us everywhere. Only our fan base really notices us."
Janelle took a bite of her spaghetti, continuing to listen to Ryan as she thought to herself. She was beginning to wonder if all of this was really a smart idea, moving into a celebrity's house. Of course he had been incredibly kind to her since they met, so it didn't seem like he was just doing it out of pity at this point, at least she knew that. Yet, something still caused her to feel like she'd be a burden to him.
Although she wanted to just forget about her worries for the rest of the day, she knew that, in the coming weeks, she'd have to search tirelessly for a job, and at least earn enough money so she could rent a new apartment. She knew it would be stressful, and even if she hated the thought, she'd have to depend on her friends, at least for mental stability during that time.
She let out a soft sigh, before looking up at Abby, who was beginning to speak to not only Ryan, but her as well.
"Oh, we've been planning for the wedding!" She Exclaimed, and Janelle bit her lip.
"Haven't you already?" She Asked curiously. She could've sworn that they had already finished planning, considering that the wedding was so soon.
Kenneth let out a small chuckle, looking at his fiancé amusedly. "She still hasn't picked out her dress."
Abby's cheeks flushed. "I want it to be perfect." She mumbled. "Janelle, I'd love for you to help me pick it out."
Janelle nodded. "Of course." She Said. "When?"
"Well, I was thinking sometime in the next couple of days." She Said. "I mean, since the wedding is next week and all.."
Janelle's eyes widened. "Shit!" She hissed, causing everyone to look at her questioningly. "I forgot that it was so soon.." she muttered embarrassedly, reaching up and rubbing her temple.
"Jeez, it's not that big of deal." Abby Said, before laughing a little.
Janelle looked up at her friend, raising her eyebrows. "Yes it is." She muttered. "I shouldn't have forgotten."
"I understand, though," Abby Said, taking her last bite of spaghetti. "With all that's happened this month.." she trailed off, and everyone looked down, becoming quiet.
Janelle began to wish Abby hadn't said that; bringing any of that up would of course put a damper on any conversation, especially since they were all trying to forget.
Abby looked at Ryan, her eyes widening with excitement. "Ryan, you should come!" She Exclaimed.
"To the wedding?" He asked.
"Yeah!" She Said. "That would be awesome! That way, you could drive Janelle, too."
He chuckled a little. "I don't know.." he mumbled. "I'd hate to intrude. Besides, I don't know what I'd wear."
"Come on, Ry," Abby laughed. "I saw the pictures of you at the Grammys, and I know you have a suit. And you look pretty damn good in it."
"Abby!" Janelle scolded, letting out a small chuckle.
"I'm just stating the facts." She raised her hands up defensively.
Ryan laughed a little, running his hand through his hair. "Well, I guess I do have a suit."
"Please come!" Abby begged. "I really want you there, and Ken does too," She looks over at her fiancé. "Right, Ken?"
He smiled a little, nodding, before Abby looked back at Ryan.
"Please, Ryan?"
He chuckled softly, looking over at Janelle, who just raised her eyebrows at him.
"What're you looking at me for?" She Asked, laughing a bit.
"Are you alright with me being your partner to the wedding?" He asked, his soft green eyes gazing into hers.
Janelle felt her heart skip a little, but she ignored it, just giving him a small smile and nodding.
"Alright, I'll go." He said, causing Abby to cheer.
"You'll have a date to the wedding, now, Janelle!" She Said.
Janelle felt her cheeks flush, but she shook it off, chuckling softly. "Yeah, I guess so."
That same night, as Janelle and Ryan were saying their goodbyes to Kenneth and Abby, Abby seemed to remember something, and she reached up, holding Janelle's arm.
"Oh, Janelle?" She Asked, causing Janelle to look at her curiously.
"Yeah, Abby?" She responded, looking into her friend's brown eyes.
"I was wondering if you could take pictures at the wedding?" She Asked.
Janelle furrowed her eyebrows. "But I'm the maid of honour."
"I know, but maybe just the pictures of me and Ken?" She Asked. "Janelle, it would mean a lot to me."
Janelle bit her lip. "I don't know, Abby.." she mumbled, causing her friend to let out a small sigh.
"At least think about it?" She Asked. "Please?"
Janelle nodded. "Okay."
Abby gave her a small smile. "Good." She Said. "See you later, then?"
"Yeah." Janelle nodded. "Love you, Abby."
"Love you, too." Abby gave her a kiss on the cheek, before turning and going over to Kenneth, who was just heading out the door.
"Bye, guys." Ryan waved to them, and they both waved back.
"Bye! Thanks for having us for dinner." Abby Said.
"It's no problem." Ryan Said. "Thanks for helping move Janelle's stuff over here."
"You're welcome." Abby smiled. "See you guys later."
"See you later." Both Janelle and Ryan Replied, Before both Kenneth and Abby stepped outside, shutting the door behind them.
For a moment, Ryan and Janelle were silent, just staring at the door. Janelle wondered if she should say something to Ryan. It had never been this hard to speak to him, how come she wasn't sure what to say now?
She let her eyes wander up to his, feeling her heart skip again upon realising that he had already been looking at her.
He gave her a small smile, before yawning a little. "I think I'm ready for bed." He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Today was exhausting."
"Yeah, Abby can do that to a person." Janelle joked, causing him to let out a soft chuckle.
"Sorry you're going to have to put up with me at the wedding." He said, and Janelle shook her head.
"You know it'll be great to have you there." She Said as the two of them began to walk over to the staircase. "That way, I don't have to go alone."
He nodded, before they both made their way up the stairs, stopping in the hallway like usual and looking up at each other.
"Goodnight, Ryan." Janelle mumbled, giving him a small smile.
"Goodnight." He replied.
She looked down at her feet, biting her lower lip. "Thank you for letting me stay here."
He smiled softly. "You don't have to thank me." He said. "I'm happy you're here."
She looked back up at him, feeling a pang of sadness; this was officially the end of her old life. The end of her relationship with Joshua. And now he was off with another woman, with no concern for where Janelle was.
She felt tears fill her eyes, but she blinked them away, attempting to swallow them back. However, they still came back, and before she could blink them away again, Ryan noticed.
"Janelle, what's wrong?" He asked softly.
She sighed, reaching up to wipe her eyes. "I-I don't know.." she muttered. "Everything, I guess. I mean, I loved Joshua.."
Ryan nodded. "I understand." He Said. "This was a hard decision to make, I'm sure."
She nodded a little, feeling a couple of tears fall from her eyes as she looked down at her feet again, letting out a soft sob.
Ryan immediately stepped over, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest, where she buried her face in his T-shirt as she sobbed gently.
"Why didn't he love me?" She Asked weakly. "What did I do wrong?"
Ryan ran his hand through her hair comfortingly. "Hey, you didn't do anything wrong." He said softly. "I promise."
"There must be something wrong with me.."
"Shh.." he hushed her, pulling her closer. "Janelle, you're perfect."
The thing was, Janelle knew that the only reason Joshua cheated was because he had never truly cared about her. But she began to wonder why he didn't care about her. Of course, he was a narcissist, incapable of loving anyone other than himself, but she still couldn't help but feel like it was her fault, the way she felt when anything went wrong.
Yet, somehow, being in Ryan's embrace, she felt for once as if he was right.
There wasn't anything wrong with her. It was Joshua that just didn't see what he had. She was glad to have a friend like Ryan, who made her feel important and loved, especially in moments like these.
She swallowed, before pulling away from him, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "It's been a long day."
He nodded, before reaching out and brushing his fingers over her arm. "Just come get me if you need to, okay?"
She nodded back. "Goodnight, Ryan."
"Goodnight, Janelle." He replied, Before they both went there separate ways, heading into their rooms for the night.
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