Their evening had almost ended before it began. Lurking right outside the room, near the entrance to the tunnels was Viv. She had every intention of stopping them and keeping them indoors but her resolve melted after only a few protests from Ava. The rest of the way to their first destination was spent looking behind her shoulder, making sure Viv wasn't following them.

It had been easy to get past her and Ava wondered if it was because of Theo. Was she always that effective against Viv? They had talked earlier in the night, had something been said to make Viv take it easy on them?

Thoughts of Viv fled her mind the moment the air of Niveal hit her and her feet touched the surface after emerging from the tunnels in the alleyways of what she could only assume was Stumbler's row by the smell. The stench only made her more excited.

The last time she was on the island, she still hadn't contended with exactly who she was. She was still living in a false hope that things could get better and she could sweep her secret under the rug. It was a happier time and she was flooded with the emotions that came with remembering it. But in all of the things she had lost since the last time she had been there, she had gained one thing. Theo was now hers. No matter what happened next, at that moment they were together on the streets of Niveal.

And that elation did not go away. As Theo pushed people out of their path and trudged them through the busy streets, all Ava could do was watch her concentrate on what was in front of them. She was more of a burden than a help, tripping up by not watching where she was going, but Theo caught her every time and stabilized her when needed.

It wasn't until she was about to ask what was taking so long that they arrived at their destination. The sign on the building said Jaunts and Theo looked over, offering her arm. Ava took her arm and was guided inside. She hadn't known what Jaunts was but walking in, it was immediately apparent. A thick haze of smoke that would take a few minutes to get used to enshrouded them. Theo took two silvers out of her pocket and handed it to an attendant.

They were motioned in and Theo escorted them further. The large room was split into different areas, no one section the same.

"Let's walk around and see what you like. We can sit wherever you choose," Theo guided them through each curtained room.

Ava took her job seriously, scoping out the best spot. She had to consider many things, including the best view to the entrances and the lowest lighting to keep hidden. She stopped Theo when they got to the back of the room, sectioned off with more opaque screens that differed from the sheer curtains that sectioned off rooms at the entrance of the building. The area was littered with couples on couches, pillows on the floor, people spread out, and smoke circling everyone.

Ava nodded in approval and Theo spotted a couch for them to sit in the section Ava had chosen. As they sat, Theo called over an attendant. She pulled a few coins out of her pocket and handed it to him, Theo was talking but Ava tuned her out–glancing at the smokers all around. From her first time in a drug lounge to then felt like a whole lifetime had elapsed.

In such a short time, she had experienced so much. The thought of everything that had weighed on her chest made her sink into the already sinking couch.

"Red?" Theo looked over when the attendant stepped away.

"Give me a massage?" Ava pouted, blinking her eyes in hopes of being successful at making Theo do something so laborious on her night off.

Theo didn't even paused before patting the space between her legs. Ava slipped off the couch and scooted in between Theo's legs. If she had any doubts that gods were real, they left her in that moment. Theo's hands rubbed into her shoulders bringing relief that only hands blessed by a god could achieve. She was practically salivating, mouth slightly open and eyes closed as Theo's thumbs passed over a knot in her back. She let out a pleasured grunt and Theo laughed, taking her hands away.

Ava whipped her head around to protest but as she opened her eyes, she saw that they had a guest in the area. The waiter had come back with a tray of items he placed on a table next to them. Ava's cheeks went red and she looked away, avoiding any eye contact with the person that just heard her moan. When she heard footsteps retreating, she showed her face once again.

Theo's hands went back to working the tension out of her back and Ava looked to the tray, not having heard what Theo had ordered. It was ice water in a pitcher, wine, a few cigarettes of dragon's breath, and some savory biscuits.

"One would think you would have bought us a tray," Ava teased, "if anyone saw this, they might accuse you of being cheap, Captain.

"We have all night, we have to pace ourselves," Theo chuckled as she stopped her miracle work.

"No Niveal bender?"

"I want to enjoy and remember every moment of this night."

Ava was glad her back was to Theo before a deep frown overtook her face. It was to stop herself from tears pricking to her eyes. Not because she was sad but the sincerity with which Theo said those words inspired a wave of emotions she couldn't handle. The tears threatened to emerge regardless but she pushed the feelings away and took a deep breath, recovering just in time for Theo to sit on the floor next to her.

She had a lit cigarette between her lips as she put her arm around Ava's shoulders and pulled her in. Soon enough, the dragon's breath was passed to her and Ava took her time nursing it. She sank into Theo, observing the variety of patrons around them. No one was staring and Theo without her Captain's hat on had drawn much less attention. They had abandoned the cigarette halfway through because the haze in the longue was enough to send them into a stupor without much else needed.

An impromptu ring of entertainment had appeared in the middle of their section with volunteers from among the patrons showing off their skills. Some performances were just expression and others were true talents. But one thing was for sure, Theo could not take her hands off Ava. And when she did, Ava placed them right back on her. It was safe, above the clothes but they were never apart. They shifted positions between the floors and couches and chairs, always tangled with one another.

By the time they got around to finishing the second half of the abandoned cigarette, a performance that actually interested her was taking place in front of them. Ava was between Theo's legs, leaning back against her chest. Theo was drifting in and out of focus, getting sidetracked and distracted with placing kisses right under Ava's ear and whispering whatever came to mind.

Ava was relishing the touch but her eyes were trained on the performer with a candle. She danced with it, the flame always leading her. The dancer followed it, a mesmerizing flow of the candle through, under, around, and in between body parts. Was it planned? Did she just move to a flow in her own head? Were the musicians playing in another corner of the room influencing the moves she made? Did the candle have a mind of its own?

"Almost died in a fire once," Theo whispered, "Waking up to flames was indescribable. I used to have dreams about it. Not bad, more wondrous."

Ava covered her mouth, laughing at the confession.

"Is that funny to you?" Theo laughed along.

"No. That's dark."

"Not really. I was fine. Xyra had a hard time with it for a while."

"Why?"

"She was scared of dying in her sleep and all that did was reify the possibility of it happening."

Ava thought about it for a moment, her heartbeat quickening as the understanding that death could come for her at any moment seeped into her body. Not only just death at any moment, but when she was sleeping no less.

"Red?"

"I'm scared of dying in my sleep," Ava whispered, "I have a high probability of it. I'm a noble."

"Assassinations. Poison. Assassination by poison," Theo teased before scooting herself away from the couch they were leaning against, she crawled in front of Ava and laid down, moving around until her head was resting in Ava's lap. She had effectively switched their positions.

Ava flicked Theo's forehead, "My moment of paranoia was brief, but what if it had not been? You would have made it so much worse."

"If I made it worse, I would have just made it better," Theo waved her off with a laugh and closed her eyes.

Ava returned her hands to Theo's face but refrained from violence. Instead, she took her thumbs to Theo's jaw, massaging there first. She continued, rubbing her temples, her scalp, her cheekbones; Theo's mouth was slightly ajar and her breathing even. She looked tranquil and Ava was lost in her, running sweet touches over her face, shoulders, neck. A noise from the center of the floor, the performance area, called her attention.

Looking up, she was met with a shirtless woman and a naked man, moving together and Ava wasn't sure what she had missed. The shock of a naked man was enough to force her to cover her mouth to stop herself from giggling like she was a juvenile that couldn't fathom the concept of nudity. Still, with the muffle, her laughing was audible to at least one other person.

"What?" Theo asked, chuckling and opened her eyes. She also laughed when she realized, "real mature, my Lady."

Ava watched them and her thoughts were not with the beauty of the piece or the art of it. It was far removed from that, "You know how the crew was always saying, oh he better watch out, he comes near me, I will cut his dick off."

"Aye?"

"Can you imagine that? For real, in the flesh, cutting someone's dick off," Ava shook her head, transfixed on the appendage staring back at her, "you think any of 'em have actually done that?"

"I do," Theo chuckled as she looked up, "it's not hard to imagine. I've done it before."

"You've cut someone's dick off?" Ava gasped, looking down at Theo.

Theo chopped her hand through the air with an accompanying slicing sound, "Clean off."

"Wow. I never took you for a castrator," Ava laughed and leaned back against the couch she was up against.

"Technically, that's not castration," Theo corrected, "but I have done that too."

Ava laughed but didn't push for details, she was not in the mood for gore. Instead, she kept her gaze down, watching Theo as her eyes tracked the performance in front of them. Ava spared a glance to the performers, then back to Theo, then down at her chest and once again back to Theo.

"Do you wish my breasts were bigger?"

"No," Theo laughed and some people next to them looked over. Ava stared them down until they looked away.

"You've never thought about it? Not once?" Ava pressed, "they aren't the worst but I could definitely benefit from a bit more volume."

Theo laughed again and reached back, holding Ava's waist, "I'm not even going to entertain the conversation."

"Because you don't want to admit I'm right," Ava teased.

Theo sat up, turned around, sat up on her knees, and laid Ava back gently before crawling over her, "It's because every inch, dimension, and proportion of you is perfect. Crafted and sculpted by a god with caring hands and a brilliant mind."

Theo bent down and captured her lips in a kiss before she could protest. Ava indulged her, briefly, before pushing Theo off her and straddling her once she laid back down. The music accompanying the performers was more prevalent now that she was not distracted with the visuals. She felt the drums deep in her chest– the haze only further intoxicating her– she took a deep breath.

Her expanded lungs reverberated with the beat of the drum and when she needed to release the air, she did so in a loud sigh. She closed her eyes and took in another deep breath then released it.

"I missed music," her hands went forward, landing on Theo's shoulders but not staying there for long. She ran her hands along Theo's arms, making patterns from the beat; she could tell that Theo tried to stay still under but couldn't help from wriggling, "I missed the artistry of sound that exists outside of court music."

Ava rolled off of Theo and laid down next to her.

"Court music is unbearable. Derivative. The same composition, the same patterns, the shrill use of too many instruments because they believe more is better," Ava covered her ears and knocked her head back against the floor, "I will take down Baethos just so better music can reach everyone."

Soon, there was a hand over her mouth and Theo was hovering over her with shocked eyes but a smile still making its way onto her face.

"Maybe we don't speak of our plans for treason out in public, exal," Theo whispered and removed her hand.

Ava brought her finger up to her lips, promising her silence.

"You want to go dancing next? Listen to some actual music before you are doomed to an indefinite amount of time listening to noble tunes?" Theo suggested and Ava sat up with a quick nod.

"Let's go," Ava put her hand over her stomach and it responded to her with a grumble only she could hear, "but let's eat first. I'm famished."

"Great, I know just the place."

—--

Theo rarely ever disappointed with a recommendation and that time was no different. Both of them were standing outside on a porch, a long line in front of the building they had just been in, and no space left inside. They were eating their stew and Theo was talking to her, a story about Navi and Skins that Ava had asked for. She listened intently and finished her entire bowl and the piece of bread with it. Looking over, Theo wasn't even a few spoonfuls into it.

Without even asking for some, Theo's bowl was in front of her and she shook the bowl slightly for Ava to take it. Ava didn't ask if she was sure, she just raised an eyebrow and was met with a nod in return. She took the bowl and handed Theo her empty one. There was barely a pause before she kept eating, it was too good to let up on.

Theo reached into her old bowl, peeled off a piece of bread for herself, then continued her story. Soon after she picked back up on her narrative tale, her name was called. Theo looked behind her shoulder, trying to see where it came from. Her name was called again but it was closer that time and from behind Theo appeared a tall man, a smile on his face and eyes glistening from all the alcohol he had consumed.

She turned fully to face him and shook his hand before being pulled into a hug.

"Theo! I heard you had anchored here for a bit. They say the Mithren can't get rid of you no matter how hard they try," he laughed and Theo did too, pulling away from the hug and turning slightly to bring Ava into the conversation.

"They like my coin too much to kick us out, regardless of what Cooker says to get us in trouble," she motioned to Ava, "this is a new crew member-"

"Gwenevieve," Ava smiled and extended her hand.

"Klon Peralt Mesobius," he shook her hand, "pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Pleasure is all mine," she returned, her best attempt at a Southern Eloxian accent, "how do you know each other?"

"Your captain and I go way back, I knew her when she was just a wee menace," he laughed and slapped Theo on the back, "best damn money I ever spent was on hiring her and the other lot."

"I've heard she was quite impressive," Ava acknowledged with a slight raise of her eyebrow, "what exactly was the job?"

"Confidential," Klon winked, then put his hand over Theo's shoulder and shook it lightly, "I am in town for a few nights. Why don't we have dinner? Catch up, I may have a business proposition for you; we'll see how the night goes."

"Sure, come by Marian's any of these nights. It's mine now. I will be there just ask someone for me," Theo nodded, shrugging him away as subtly as she could. She glanced over at Ava's empty bowl then chuckled, "If you don't mind, we've actually got somewhere to be. Crew is waiting for us, it's her initiation to Niveal. First time. You understand."

"All too well," Klon laughed and pulled a gold coin from his pocket and handed it to her, "spend it wisely."

"I will," Ava took it with a slight curtsy and led the way, walking off the porch and into the streets. When they were clear from view, Ava took Theo's hand.

"Gwenevieve?" Theo laughed once they were well on their way and Ava just shrugged, "I didn't know you could do accents."

"Neither did I," Ava swung their hands a bit, full and happy.

"You sounded just like Cooker," Theo tugged her hand so she came closer, "Does Gwenivive know where she is going? She seems pretty confident leading the way."

Ava laughed and shook her head, "She hasn't a clue."

"Her instincts haven't steered her wrong, we are going in the right direction," Theo pointed ahead, "going to be about ten buildings down. No sign on the door, yellow paint in the windows. Lead us."

"Gwenevieve is in charge now," Ava squeezed Theo's hand and marched them forward.

Theo let herself be pulled through the streets until Ava came to a stop. As instructed, she had led them to the right building and soon enough they were inside. There was not a lot of room between the crowd of people and the door. Ava turned back to look at Theo and Theo just shrugged.

"My turn," she led the way forward, around the crowd until they reached the back of the building, "just a warning, it gets hotter back here, more people."

Ava could feel that much was true. Walking into the crowd proved that it was much hotter than the front of the building. It didn't matter though. The music was loud, lively, and exactly what she had been hoping for. It wasn't long before they were glued to each other, letting the beat circle around them and guide their movements.

Their hands only left each other once to ask the person next to them to help light Theo's cigarette with theirs, using up the only dragon's breath Theo had stashed in her pocket from Jaunts.

Ecstasy wasn't even close to describing how she felt as they danced to song after song. She wasn't even that high, it was just everything coming together to form a perfect symphony of sensations. The heat, the people, the music, Theo pressed up against her. Her hands didn't leave Ava.

Enraptured in the moment, Ava untethered herself from worry or strife. There were no words between them, just constant movement. Ava's back was covered in beads of sweat, her wig unkempt and her shoes in her hands holding them tightly. Not until the music shifted had she realized just how fast her heart was beating, keeping up with her dancing. The rapid pace of her heart contrasted the slower tempo the band had taken up.

The captivation with the music and the moment had fleeted and she wished for it to come back. The atmosphere was taking a turn and it made her stomach sink. It was slowing down and she was not ready for that. The evening was nowhere near over. The sun was too many hours away from rising for the upbeat music to end so early. It didn't matter if they had been dancing for hours, it felt like minutes.

Her reality of what life would be like once she left Niveal was bearing its full weight down on her. It was overwhelming, the sudden influx of panic. The person that she was facing, the one looking at her with care and love and admiration as the music slowed, was once again going to be absent from her life. The night could not end. She would make it last as long as she could.

"Let's go somewhere else," Ava requested, "I've danced my heart out and had my fill. What else is left?

"Fighting rings? Just to watch," Theo suggested.

"Sure," Ava slipped her hand into Theo's, "I want to see what it's about. You lead this time."

—-----

Ava's arms were leaning over the wooden barricades between the audience and the fighters, waiting for a match to start. Theo had gone to sign up and left her alone to sneak her way to the front of the crowd. What had started as spectating had turned into Theo joking around that she could fight that night and easily take on anyone that was on the list for a match. That quickly turned into Ava pressuring her, and soon after they arrived, Theo set off to sign up for a fight.

It wasn't a tournament and there wasn't a large pot up for grabs. It was a one-match limit, lineup decided by the draw of names, 10 gold a winner plus a commission from betting. This was explained to her as they had walked over.

Shortly after the match she had been observing had started, not even a punch had been thrown yet, Theo came back. She put an arm around Ava's waist and watched on, laughing a bit at the booing that began after neither of the fighters had made any moves to start. The taller one of the two stepped forward, swung, and knocked the other to the ground. The fight took longer to begin than end.

She watched the ring boys drag off the fighter's unconscious body as the winner was declared.

"Is now a good time to tell you that I am not actually confident I can beat anyone that is on the list?" Theo said, "I don't have a good track record at this establishment either."

"Theo," Ava laughed, "go withdraw your name! Why did you do it?"

"Well, I'm never confident I can beat anyone I sign up against," Theo divulged, "but it will be guaranteed to be a good time."

"Go withdraw," Ava turned around and pointed over to the betting booth.

"What will it look like if I– the great Captain Theo– go scurrying away from a fight?"

"What will it look like if the great Captain Theo gets knocked out cold?"

"That's already happened. It was your fault too, Jona was around and I was thinking about what he had to report on when it came to his time at Aubermasse," Theo teased, "as it stands though, these people don't care to see me lose, it's hand-to-hand, usually the taller person wins. Just a numbers thing. But cowering away is a little more meaningful to them."

"You don't think you can beat anyone you know is in the drawing?" Ava clarified.

"I know given perfect conditions I can beat a good number of them. But no fight is ever a guarantee and I likely won't have the best conditions. I'm not confident I can beat them, but there is a world in which I do," Theo chuckled as Ava turned around.

"You've brought this on yourself," Ava laughed, "I am not sure I want you to win now."

"Oi, your faith is what I'm relying on to win," Theo kissed her neck, "if I win, I'll give you all my earnings."

"I am rooting for the downfall of whoever is your opponent," Ava switched sides once again.

The organizer of the bouts called Theo's name along with someone else to be on deck and ready to fight. They said their goodbyes and Ava wished her luck, making sure Theo understood she had been joking about not rooting her on. As Theo warmed up, Ava watched the next two fights which were much more eventful than the first one she had witnessed.

When Theo was finally called in, her stomach flipped. She had become nervous and the possibility of Theo getting seriously injured had dawned on her. She wanted to run out and stop the fight but it was starting before she could think of a way to get Theo out of it. Her opponent was taller than her, but not by a lot. They were thinner, potentially faster but Ava would be surprised if they could make it through one of Theo's hits.

Theo took her time, but instead of making it boring like the first bout they had watched, she taunted and jeered at the man. It affected him, she could see his expression souring and his posture ready to take charge. As he took off towards her, she extended her leg forward and pushed it into his chest.

Ava was about to yell at her to not make that move, it was the stupidest thing she could do. As the man took both hands to wrap them around her ankle, she could see the leg break play out in front of her. Instead of letting that happen though, Theo used the hold on her leg to her advantage. She had taken a wide stance as she had been grabbed, enough so to use it as leverage to push herself forward.

Ava could practically see the energy run through her body until it pushed out of her leg, Theo once again pushed the foot against his chest just as he ran forward and it threw him off balance. He tilted backwards and Theo finished driving her foot down over his chest as he fell.

His impact and the shock caused him to let go of Theo's ankles but as she pulled it away, he managed to swipe at her foot to knock her off balance. Theo came tumbling to the ground and he took that opportunity to leap on top of her and attempt a punch. She blocked it with her arm, but it looked like it was out of instinct rather than skill; her other hand reached up to punch him in the face. He didn't block it and Ava realized that Theo's opponent had no understanding of how to fight.

Theo also realized this because she managed to take control of the situation once again. The crowd had begun to get excited, far more entertained than in the previous match and Ava joined them. She jumped up and down, shouting her support as she used the barricade as a balance. The other fighter, although not technically trained, was still a force to be reckoned with. But his lack of finesse made the fight a scrappy one, but Ava had seen Theo deal with scrappy before.

And she was right. Ava suspected that the fight wasn't ending because Theo wanted to put on a show, not because she couldn't win and collect her prize. But no one wouldn't find Ava complaining about it. Theo was sharp, fast, and light on her feet. Her fighting was good and it looked even better. The sweat on her brow, her chest breathing heavily, and her muscles taught transported Ava to training.

She still felt the same desire she did back then too and Ava couldn't wait for the fight to be over so she could express just that thought to Theo.

The fight lasted a few minutes, longer than most of the night, and both of them were out of breath by the time Theo had him pinned to the ground as the match was called. Theo helped her opponent up and shook his hand before looking into the crowd and sending a wink her way. Ava blew a kiss and then imitated fainting which earned her a shake of the captain's head and a smile as she walked off to collect her gold.

Ava took the initiative to meet Theo halfway, at the bar, and she slid through a crowd of people to make it back there. Once in front of the bar, she ordered two drinks. As she waited, she could feel the person next to her staring. She made the mistake of looking over and flashing a smile at the woman when she caught her.

"Hello, my name is Al," she smiled back and slid closer with her drink, "you are?"

"Gwenevieve, it's nice to meet you Al," Ava nodded and went to look away but Al continued.

"Southern Eloxian. Nice. Far from home."

"A little farther than you are from Nefriti," Ava laughed, finally being able to pick up on accents, "what brings you to Niveal?"

"Pleasure. You?"

"Some business. Some pleasure," Ava chuckled, "I hope you have a good night."

She put her drink down, "I think I'll stay here for a bit. Not every night is there such a beautiful person at the bar. Especially not in a place like this."

"If you couldn't tell from the two drinks I ordered, I am with someone."

"Oh hey, just making a comment, sweets," she scooted closer and Ava didn't have time to react before someone stepped in between them.

Pushing herself between her and the other woman was Theo, making sure Ava was shielded behind her.

"Quite presumptuous to be this close to anyone you don't know, mate," Theo warned and jutted her chin away, "you should go. You've got your drink."

"I meant no harm. She's a cute one, too pretty to not at least try to introduce myself," she still hadn't made a move to pick up her drink and leave. She shrugged, a smirk coming across her face, "Shouldn't have left her all alone at the bar if you didn't want strangers talking to her."

"I had to step away to fight and if it wasn't clear from the lack of bruises on my face, I won that match," Theo made herself taller, straightening up and stepping up to her, "you know, it wasn't too much of a challenge and my adrenaline is rushing at the thought of another fight so if you'd like to continue this outside, I would love to."

Al scoffed, shaking her head with a smirk, "No. We're good. Wasn't aware she was spoken for by a brute."

Theo just jerked her head to the side and watched as she left the area.

Theo turned around to Ava, pulling her close and taking stock of the damages, "You good? Does she try anything?"

"That was-," Ava shook her head and before she could even finish, she pulled Theo in by the collar and kissed her. After she pulled away she laughed, "I would be mad because I can handle myself and do not need you to rescue me but I can't be bothered to care. I would be lying if I said that didn't do something for me."

Ava brought her back for another kiss.

Theo laughed against her lips, "Trying to give someone a show?"

"Mhm," Ava hummed and pulled away but quickly felt Theo grab her chin between her fingers and guided their lips together again. Ava eventually broke it apart, "let's leave."

"And go where?"

"Outside."

Theo pulled away to get a look at her face.

"To an alley," Ava clarified, mischief in her smile.

Ava reached over to the drinks that had been slid over to them and she took several sips of hers before walking out, not needing to look to know that Theo was behind her. And not needing to explain what both of them knew would be happening in the alley.

———

Loud moaning disturbed her from her sleep and Ava hoped it would go away before it could fully wake her. Her hopes were crushed–swiftly. A bed began to bang against the wall and the rhythm behind it ruined any chance at sleep. She rubbed her eyes, cursing Brandon and whoever else he had brought over.

Theo wasn't wrapped up in her and she was feeling lonely. Flipping on her side, she confirmed that she wasn't alone. Theo was asleep, her back to Ava.

It had been a long night that had continued until they were too exhausted to keep going. After the alley, they snuck off to the parks that melted into the Niveal jungles near the residential districts and simply explored. They walked through the luxury district; empty and quiet. They grabbed food at what seemed like the last place open on the island and finally returned to the room. They had just enough energy to lay together, tender and soft and opposite of what had happened in the alley. And immediately after, they had fallen asleep.

Ava wasn't sure for how long they were sleeping but she was thankful the sun was not yet out. They had to have been asleep for barely an hour. She swore they had already been pushing sunrise by the time they had returned. But they had been blessed by the seasonal late morning. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she made out details of Theo's back. It was on full display and it wasn't until she saw it that she realized she hadn't seen Theo's back at all.

Theo had been shirtless but never had her back exposed to Ava's view at the same time. She hadn't seen the damage that had been done. No matter how much she wanted to, she didn't dare reach out and touch it in case it scared Theo. She felt almost sick at the sight of it. Her tattoos were scarred and her symbols were defaced.

The thought of her having to go through that sent a shiver down her spine. She felt physically ill. It was worse knowing she had a part to play in it. She had failed to make it better when she tried. She sat up in bed, watching over her as her sides expanded with each breath she took. Ava's bottom lip trembled, not even at what had been done to her but that Ava couldn't be there when she was recovering. It was that she couldn't continue to be there.

As much as Theo wanted to protect her, she wanted to protect Theo.

The contrast between the emotions in her chest and the noises coming from Brandon's room was almost comical. It had gotten so loud it began to wake Theo up, who was often a log when it came to sleeping. She shifted in bed flipping over and reaching around until she found what she was looking for. Her hand touched Ava's leg and it wasn't long before Theo was scooting herself over, and wrapping her arms around Ava's waist, and placing her cheek on Ava's thigh.

If she was awake, she wasn't aware that Ava was sitting up in bed, not sleeping. Ava watched her lip smack together as she further pressed her cheek into her human pillow. Ava took her hand to Theo's hair and rubbed on her scalp, soothing the sleeping captain. Eventually, she trailed her hand down to Theo's neck and then onto her shoulder where she drew small patterns.

The movement woke Theo up more than she had been before and she froze. Ava wasn't sure why at first but when Theo's arms untangled from her waist and she rolled over on her back it became clear. Theo had not shown Ava her back on purpose. It had been deliberately hidden from view. Only a few seconds into being awake, Theo noticed the exposure and turned away. Theo rubbed her eyes, not seeming interested in addressing anything.

"That's a brothel worker. He hires women to sleep with him when he is away from his wife," Theo frowned as she commented on the noise, her stance on the issue clear on her face.

"Are you speculating?"

"No," Theo yawned, "Cooker told me."

"Hm," Ava looked over, "I don't know why that would be surprising. You two are really the only ones I know that adhere to your philosophy of denouncement and nonparticipation. Most others just denounce."

"A losing battle I will continue to fight," Theo shrugged and stretched out, not able to avoid another yawn, "gods, they're loud."

Ava just stared down at Theo until Theo realized and returned the stare, concerned more than anything.

"Everything alright with you?" Theo asked.

"What is the point of trying to hide that something bothers you?"

Theo groaned and put her hands over her face before rubbing them over her eyes, "Exal, not now."

"You know I know you went through a lot. I don't get the point of lying to me and telling me it's all alright when clearly it still bothers you," Ava accused, and maybe it was the lack of sleep but there was little tact to her approach.

"I haven't lied about anything, Red, I swear," Theo sat up with a sigh, "this isn't another Arnelo thing. The thought of my back doesn't trigger anything."

"You froze," Ava noted, "You went cold at the fact that your back was to me... I get that it can be a vulnerable spot, you don't need to hide that from me."

"I said I was fine, Red," Theo fixed her with a look, one that told her she wasn't willing to hash it out at that moment, "I'm fine. This isn't how I want to spend my last few hours with you."

Ava didn't answer, her eyes darting back and forth and searching Theo's face for any clues. Any indication of her true feelings or what the root of the issue was. But she was at a loss.

"I wish I had more time with you. There is still so much we have not talked about... And then there will be all this time spent apart that we won't even scratch the surface on catching up if we ever see each other- when we see each other again," Ava lamented.

Theo reached out and put her hand on Ava's thigh, rubbing a soothing thumb over it, "I wish I had more time with you too. But more time wouldn't reveal anything. I have not lied to you and I won't. I really am doing well."

"But you will make me pry what's bothering you from your teeth baring down on it," Ava accused.

"Of course," Theo smiled a bit, "some things never change, Red, and I'm a pirate at heart."

She didn't indulge Theo with an answer to her comment. If pirates never changed, Ava didn't need to either. She would take a crowbar to any wall between her and what Theo was feeling. Silence–at times-worked better with Theo than any questions. So Ava stayed quiet. Until it was made so unbearable for Theo that she laughed, shaking her head.

"I don't know what it looks like, Red, that's why I don't want you to see. No one but Tuni has seen it since it has healed. I suppose Xyra saw it too, but not since she fucked it up more than it already was," she shrugged and pulled her hand away from Ava's thigh to stretch out once more, "I'm not ready to see it and I don't think I'm ready to talk about it until I see it. But I want to stress that I'm fine. I feel good. I don't know why I am avoiding it. Maybe because I haven't contended with the permanence yet. But for right now. this is what I want."

"Alright," Ava gave in and lied down, looking up at Theo. They were silent for a moment but Ava felt in her gut that Theo wasn't fully alright. Maybe she wasn't lying and Theo had healed from what happened to her. Her hesitation to talk about it or even face it could have to do with the nature of the tattoos, Riva's symbols, "I am sure she knows you love her even if your devotion for her is not marked on your body anymore."

Theo was quiet in response, she just smiled down at Ava with a slight nod.

"You don't agree?" Ava sat up on her elbows, tilting her head.

"I would have a length ago. Things have changed since then."

"You don't worship her anymore?

"I do. But I severed ties and put blame and anger where it shouldn't have been put a length ago and I lost the connection," she admitted, "trying to do what I can to revive it but it takes time."

"Not even Riva was safe," Ava tried to joke but it didn't land.

Theo shook her head, lost in thought. They didn't speak on it any longer. Brandon's noises had died down and they were both exhausted. It wasn't the time to press about Theo's relationship to Riva nor was it her business. Theo had always been closed off about her god, it was a relationship she tended to on her own without input from anyone else. Ava recognized that and also recognized she didn't know much about religion. She couldn't help and even if she could, she couldn't solve all of Theo's problems.

She slipped out of bed and looked around the floor until she found Theo's shirt, tossing it over to her and then climbing back in bed, "Put that on. I want to hold you from behind."

Theo chuckled a bit and did as she was told, pulling the shirt over her head and laying down, back to Ava. Ava smiled as she came up behind Theo and wrapped an arm around her.

"Sorry," she whispered and kissed the back of Theo's head, "I can get a little blinded by my desire to know things."

Theo put her arm over Ava's, "I am aware of just who you are, my Lady, and I am aware of just how you are. I chose this, I was fully on board with you even knowing you will push me to do things that are hard."

"I love you, yo'miu." Ava buried her face in Theo's back.

"That'll just have to do," Theo laughed, "I love you, exal."

She could feel Theo falling back asleep but she couldn't help the additional question.

"Theo?"

She felt Theo's chest move with a muffled chuckle.

"Aye?"

"How did finding out I'm a Vaith change things for you?"

Theo shook her head, a smile on her face. Ava sat up a bit and peeked over Theo's shoulder, seeing her eyes still closed, "It hasn't really changed anything. I know it should, but it doesn't. And saying that out loud, I am realizing why it was easy for Viv to have her way with me."

"You are claiming that my last name means nothing to you," Ava pressed, it was a departure from what Theo had said in the past.

"It's hot. But that's bad to say out loud too," Theo opened her eyes with a grin.

"Hot? In what way?"

"Feels risky. Daughter of the most feared and sought-after man on the planet," Theo shrugged and turned around to face Ava, looking up at her with a cheeky smirk, "Feels like I know something no one else does. And I have something no one else does."

"No resentment? That's a steep change," she pointed out.

"I get how it looks but my anger toward your name back then was never really about your name. Whatever anger I expressed over who exactly you were was directed from my pain over not knowing."

"Hm," Ava replied, processing as she searched Theo's face for any indication of a lie.

"And how has my reaction to you in Corinspe changed your perception of me? Hm?" Theo threw back the noise and the question.

Ava was silent for a bit. Some hair raised on her arms and Theo noticed. They both stayed still, Theo looking at her but without pressure to answer. Ava looked away as she thought. It was something she was still sorting through but the time with Theo had helped her.

"It showed me you aren't infallible," Ava answered.

Theo laughed, "You spent all that time as my officer, quartermaster, friend, and lover, and still did not grasp that?"

"I had seen you stumble but those were brief moments. You always found your footing. You always recovered. Injury, mistake, fight; whatever it was, you always took back control. Swiftly.

"I get it. You think I'm amazing," Theo teased.

Ava smiled, knowing Theo didn't like it when she was the main topic of conversation, "In Corinspe, I saw a glimpse of you not being perfect and not recovering from your moment of imperfection..."

Theo didn't answer, she just shrugged, looking away from Ava. Not engaging but not closing herself off.

"I always thought your fears of losing control were excuses. Not bad excuses. But just, limiting. Sometimes, in the back of my head, I would think that you made yourself believe this thing about yourself as a way to justify taking a step back from certain things you didn't think you could do," Ava admitted, "but you always knew. That was something you were sure about. So you've gotten that way before? Before Corinspe?"

"I mean, we all get there at some point," Theo looked back at her.

"I certainly haven't."

"Unfortunately for you, there is still time for that to happen back at Aubermasse," Theo sat up.

"But, you've gotten to that level. Why? How?"

"I don't know," Theo sighed at the amount of questions then chuckled, "Are you not sleepy?

Ava didn't answer, she just stared. She expected a proper response and Theo knew as much.

"I don't know, that blindness from anger came out a bunch as a kid. But I was younger. Sometimes it was encouraged and sometimes I was made aware of the consequences of losing my head. Uncilo and Barge made sure I was aware of what would happen if I was belligerent at the wrong moment. So, I started to learn to tamper down that part of me and only let it edge its way in when I'm in combat or dealing with business," Theo expressed.

"And the fear has always been that you will let that side of you do more than just peek through."

"Aye. I was always afraid that when it mattered, I wouldn't be able to clear the fog and choose the right path, not the path that felt right in that state of being fueled by negative emotions."

"Why do you think you have that in you?" Ava tilted her head.

"What's with you and this healer-type question quest you are on?" Theo laughed.

"I just want to soak up everything about you before you have to go," she frowned, reminding herself of the inevitable departure.

"I think I just have this undying rage in the pit of me. Not horrible. Not overtaking. Just there. Present. Enough to be dangerous if stoked. I guess I've always had it. I have not an inkling as to where it came from. If I had to guess, it would be when I saw my parents die in front of me but what do I know?" Theo said with a teasing smile and Ava couldn't help the inappropriate laugh that escaped her. Theo nudged her, "you thought I was lying about my fears that whole time?"

"I thought you were maybe under the impression that your blowing up would be worse than it would have actually been. I know now, that is not the case," Ava said.

"Wonder what other little secret thoughts about me you've been keeping?" Theo inquired and laid back down, holding her arm out for Ava to scoot into.

Ava cuddled close, looking up at Theo, "If you are actually interested, then tell me a story about your time before being a Captain and I will tell you one of my secret thoughts about you."

"One each and then that is it. Then I should go," Theo kissed Ava's forehead, pulling her even closer.

"No, it is still early. No need to leave yet. One each and then a nap and then I will let you go," Ava bargained and Theo rolled her eyes, leaning forward and confirming the deal with a kiss.

—----———-

The sun had woken her as it filtered through the window. She was rarely able to stay asleep past the sunrise when she was on land, there was no rocking of the ship to keep her lulled in a peaceful slumber. Ava was next to her, facing her with both hands under her cheek. Eyes closed, mouth slightly open, and a twitch to her nose or eyebrow every few minutes. Theo couldn't tell how long she had been watching.

If Ava opened her eyes, she would be quite frightened to see that Theo had been observing her but Theo couldn't stop herself, she didn't think she had ever stared at anyone that long. But, she was determined to log every dot, line, and curve she could see. The whole night had been an attempt to commit every inch of Ava to memory.

Before they had left the inn the night before, Theo had made a promise to herself that thoughts of the future would be forgotten. Any stressors or questions about what was to come would not be on her mind. She made a commitment to enjoy herself and she had stuck to that. The problem was, in theory it seemed like a good idea but in practice all it did was convince her there was nothing to worry about.

Even then, when the excitement of the night was behind them and the only thing left was to say goodbye, Theo's head blocked anything that wasn't positive. If it wasn't about how much she loved the woman in front of her, the thought did not penetrate her consciousness.

Instead, religion had captivated her mind as she observed her partner. Were gods involved in all their lives? Or were their miracles confined to just their believers. If they only cared about their believers, why then was Theo at Barian right as Ava had arrived on her journey South? Barian had not been in their original plan, Miss Yurwa was afraid it was too expensive but Cooker's insistence that they stop there for potential jobs got the city added to the itinerary. Had Theo not taken the suggestion to detour to Barian, they would have never crossed paths.

Even further, had Theo not sent Xyra out for one last errand that Theo had considered holding on until their next port, Xyra would have never found Ava. Or, had Ava left her home a sun prior or a sun after they would be in an entirely different world. It was either luck, fate, or coincidence but Theo wasn't sure what the difference between those was any longer.

Regardless of how they wound up together, they did. Despite the unlikeliness of their relationship, they found themselves in each other's arms. And despite the challenges that had come between them from the moment they met, they were back in each other's presence.

Not for much longer.

The dam that held thoughts of a dismal and lonely future fractured and came rushing back in. Their time to separate was almost upon them and Theo–despite every bone in her body begging her to just go back to sleep–reached out and put a hand over Ava's cheek.

"Exal, the sun is rising. I should be going now."

Ava shook her head and scooted closer until she could bury her face in Theo's chest, her eyes still closed as she reached around to find Theo's arm and dragged it over her. Theo complied and fully enveloped her in her arms, chin resting atop a head of curly hair.

"Please stay," Ava said but there was no conviction behind it, they both knew what needed to happen.

"We will see each other at the rendezvous," Theo whispered and kissed her head, "now come on, up and awake. Before I go, I have some things for you."

Ava's head popped up, eyes open and hopeful, "You got me more presents?"

"Less presents. More practical items I need to give you," Theo chuckled as Ava's head dropped back down, a disappointed sigh leaving her lips.

"Go on then," she said, ducking out from under Theo's grasp and sitting up, "fetch me my things."

"You going to spend our last minutes together grousing over circumstances neither of us can change or are you going to send me off with smiles and sweet nothings?" Theo teased, getting out of bed and walking to her bag.

"I suppose I can spare you my glum moping and leave it for everyone else to deal with," Ava conceded as Theo walked over with her bag and sat on the bed.

"First off," Theo pulled out a sack of coins and set it on the bed, "a hundred gold. I would give you more but I don't have it. Xyra's got all my coin on the new island and I can't take from the ship's fund. Between this, and my earnings from last night I hope it is enough for now."

"Theo, I don't need this," Ava put her hand over the bag and began to push it back toward her but Theo stopped her.

"Do you have any money of your own?"

"No. I don't. But I can sell my belongings or something if I ever need it."

"That is an easy thing to get caught up with. Then, you will be questioned why you are selling things. Take this just in case. Bribes, affection winning, buying things you want; whatever it is. If I come into more money before the rendezvous I will give you more but I can make no promises."

For whatever reason, Ava didn't protest. Theo had thought it would be harder but she was happy to not have to push. The money was intended for Ava to use if needed, not because Theo thought she couldn't handle securing money if that sun ever came. That didn't need to be explained. Hopefully, her next items would be well received too. She pulled out two hand cannons and laid them out.

"I know you already have one but just take these. Oceane has one. I saw her before Fingen's and Fjord had already given her one. But these two are for if either of you lose yours, something happens to them, or if you need to give one to someone else. Perhaps Cameron or Arnelo if he ever needs a handcannon that can't be traced back to The Center," Theo pointed to one, "this one is just from our armory but this other one is courtesy of Morgana. She would not let me leave Marian's without it. but this is for anyone else that might need it."

"What if they search my trunks hoping to find something just like this upon my return?"

"Don't hide it in your trunk," Theo laughed a bit and placed another weapon on the bed.

A dagger, the same one that Ava had used on the ship and had stayed behind with all of her other belongings.

"You don't have to take this one. I feel indifferent about it now that you have a hand cannon. But, this might be more subtle. Would you want to take it?"

Ava nodded and reached out to pick it up, inspecting her old item. She shrugged, putting it next to her, "I can use it. Anything else? Preferably something I can actually make use of? Perhaps, a real present?"

Theo laughed, "I'm afraid I don't have many goodies for you. I wish I had more time so I could go shop for you and bring you back the luxuries Niveal offers but for now, this is all."

"You gave me fair warning and I still got my hopes up. My presents from the other night will have to do," Ava reached up to touch the earring she had put on for the evening.

Theo reached up to her own ears, unscrewing some of the jewelry that adorned her ears. Once those were in a small pile in front of them, she pulled off a ring and stood up off the bed. She reached down to pick up her discarded shirt and added it to the pile.

"Shall I cut you a lock of my hair too or will this be enough?" She teased.

"Now that you mention it," Ava tapped her chin, "a lock of hair could do wonders."

Theo laughed, holding a lock of hair between her fingers, "Will this do?"

"Is that enough for any occult spells I may want to use it for?"

"I'm in a bind with Riva and the occult. Best not to cross both worlds, yeah? The lock of hair is for keeping only," Theo said as she looked around for a sharp object.

She got up out of bed and Ava laughed.

"Don't actually cut your hair," she sat up, "I have no use for it."

"You don't want it so you can pull it out of the false floor of a box you keep hidden under your bed when you miss me to stare at it?" Theo frowned, getting back into the bed and holding up the dagger she had missed, "You can easily walk away with The Captain Theo's hair."

Ava rolled her eyes and pushed Theo back in bed and climbed on top of her, "I am satisfied with what I've gotten. Alright? No hair, please."

Theo finally broke her act and smiled, "I quite like having it all the same length, so you are just helping me."

"Stay here," Ava ignored her comment and slid off her, then paused before jumping into action.

Theo listened, sitting up on her elbows and watching Ava rush around, with no explanation.

She bounced between her trunks and other bags and items littered around the room. Nothing was too clear about what she was up to until she came back to the bed, releasing a litany of objects from her arms onto the mattress.

"There. My gifts to you," Ava smiled, a hand on her hip looking down at her pile with a sense of pride but her expression quickly fell into a frown, "I left the book about your parents on the ship."

"I don't need it now. Give it to me at the rendezvous," Theo pulled her back onto the bed and took a moment to lay with her, ignoring the piles of objects meant for the other.

"You wanna see what I got you to take back with you?" Ava prompted and tried resisting Theo's attempt at relaxing, she could sense what was coming.

"I can check them out later. It will be a surprise. Something to hold me over since I will be in agony without you," Theo teased and kissed her forehead, finally coaxing the girl in her arms to calm her muscles.

"Stay. I can hide you under my bed until I leave," Ava whispered, looking up at Theo.

Theo shifted around so that she was hovering over Ava, looking down at the woman she didn't want to leave. It was treacherous. Even worse. She had withstood actual torture and somehow this seemed to hurt more. There was no relief for the pain she would eventually feel when she walked out of the room.

"Are you going to make it hard for me to leave?" Theo smiled down at her.

"Impossible," Ava reached up and cupped Theo's cheek.

They stared at each other for a few moments, silence between them. She could see Ava's eyes darting all over her face and she could only assume Ava was doing the same thing that she had been trying to do. Catalog and memorize every millimeter of her face. The same feeling she had experienced many times came flooding into her. It was an overwhelming need to take them away from everything. It was the urge to abandon it all and run. She had proposed it many times.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it that time, because she was afraid the answer would be yes. While she had wished she could have an excuse to let it all fall to the wayside, she was a Captain and had put their involvement to a vote. It was her duty to execute what her crew wanted. That meant there was no near future in which her dreams to run would be a reality.

"I can't go," Theo said with a frown, she had been giving Ava a hard time about not wanting her to go but in that moment she felt like a massive boulder. There was no way she could leave.

"I've not even done anything," Ava chuckled, pushing some hair out of Theo's face.

"You don't need to," Theo leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek, "how are we going to do this?"

"Don't ask me. You are the one that is eager to leave," Ava said.

"Oi, fuck off with that," she chuckled and pecked her lips, "you know this isn't easy."

"I know," Ava sat up and forced Theo to, "I can walk you out. That way, I don't have to see you go until the last possible second."

"Are we being ridiculous about this?" Theo laughed a bit.

"Possibly," Ava got out of bed and began to help Theo pack up her new gifts, "I will see you before we even know it."

Theo pulled herself from the bed and began to pick up her stuff. Soon enough, she was ready to go and Ava was walking her to the door. It felt wrong. It was the opposite of what she needed to do. But her feet continued to carry her forward. Ava took a peek outside and then slipped out of the room when she determined the coast was clear. Theo followed close behind and they rushed into the stairs leading down to the tunnels and descended them quickly.

Ava paused at the entrance to the tunnels and turned to face her. Theo smiled and pulled her close, hands on her hips. Ava slipped her arms onto Theo's shoulders with a slight pout.

"I'll see you soon, yeah?" Theo tried to keep a smile on her face but it was a struggle.

Ava nodded and pulled her in for a kiss. Theo met her halfway and let her eyes slip shut. It was soft, slow, and too brief. Ava pulled away and dropped her hands to Theo's chest. She opened her eyes to find Ava already looking at her.

"I love you," Ava whispered.

"I love you," Theo replied.

"Say it again," Ava prompted by patting her chest.

Theo chuckled, leaning forward and kissing her, pulling away to grant her request. She said she loved her once, then again and again in between kisses. She only stopped when Ava covered her mouth, laughing.

"Theo, be safe, alright?" She removed her hand.

"I will do my best," Theo nodded, "you too. Give those men in those estates hell."

"I don't doubt I will," Ava smiled but her eyes were sad, "say hello to everyone for me, please? I want them to all know I miss them."

"I will tell them."

"Xyra too. Make sure she knows," Ava insisted.

"You have my word," Theo nodded and couldn't help but go in for one last kiss. It was torture but she pulled away before too long.

"Guess you should go," Ava said.

"I should. And you should head back to your room. Better to open the tunnel door alone," Theo strategized.

"Aye, that sounds like the best way forward," Ava backed up toward the stairs, a deep crease in her brows as she took one step at a time, facing Theo the whole way up.

Theo waved her off, feeling like there should have been a grander goodbye. But at the same time, that could jinx them. It could mean that they would not see each other again. Theo wasn't risking that by ignoring her superstitions. She stayed in place instead of running up the stairs to catch Ava. Once Ava had cleared Theo's line of sight, she slumped against the door. She needed a second before walking out. The air felt thick and her heart felt like it was physically hurting.

She was about to get going but Ava ran back into view and looked surprised to see her still standing there. In a flash, Ava was down the stairs and in Theo's arms again. Their lips crashed together and Theo lifted her up relishing their last moments together. Whatever energy they had kept tampered down in their first goodbye was unleashed and their kiss was fervent.

Theo put her down and physically had to push Ava away by the hips or the kiss would have never ended. Ava laughed, her cheeks red as she wiped the corner of her lips a bit.

"I love you, Captain."

"I love you, my Lady."

"I would have said yo'miu but you keep accusing me of fucking it up," Ava was grinning wide, contrary to her frown before.

"It's because you do keep fucking it up, exal," Theo teased, "But I'm alright with that. I knew what I was getting myself into what I feel in love with an Eloxian."

"I could have your head for that insult, it's discriminatory," Ava laughed, her smile reaching her eyes, "goodbye, yo'miu, I love you."

"And I love you, exal," Theo said, ignoring the mixed up order. They had made it their own and that was fine, "now, go on. Or this will never end. We've been at this for hours."

Ava rolled her eyes as she made her way up the stairs, turning around only slightly to blow her a kiss before disappearing from sight.

That time, Theo didn't linger. She entered the empty tunnels, which had been abandoned by the crowds the night before. The walk back to Marian's floated by. She was caught up in despair. How could she be willingly walking away? It was what she had been asking herself for hours. A revolution could fail and she could have given Ava up so easily–yet again.

Before she knew it, she was in her third floor room with no one around to wish her good morning. But she preferred it that way, she needed space. At least one morning alone. She sat down on her bed and closed her eyes but the image of Ava smiling was ingrained in her eyelids. The bed felt too comfortable and she needed to be somewhere that matched what she felt. Sinking to the floor was her best solution.

As she sat there, with her head against the mattress and eyes blankly fixed on the wall, she replayed the night in her head. She was too drained to cry or really feel much else except hollow. So she sat in a stupor until she was finally sleepy enough to waste the sun napping.