Theo had figured that a discussion over food would be easier. She also figured getting angry and yelling or shaming and threatening Cooker would get them nowhere. There had been no point in that in the past, it just drove Cooker away. She had believed in Cooker and always worked under the assumption that she would never slip up.

But their jobs were hard, addiction was harder, and their lives had never been easy to handle. So, she had talked through this very scenario with Xyra before she left. Theo had to be gentle but firm. Supportive. Realistic.

And that is what she tried to do.

Cooker explained what had occurred and she listened. They walked through her train of thought. Theo watched her break down, more than once. There were many tears and many frustrated fits. Dozens of distractions, which Theo allowed, and at the end of it Theo felt hopeful.

Best of all, Theo felt that Cooker understood that what she had done was not irreparable. She would come clean to those she needed to, find ways to avoid it from happening again, and that the following sun was a new start.

Some time through dessert, they had laid on the floor with their tea which is where they found themselves, the calming effect from the beverage helping them seep into the floor. Ten courses were far too many. The portions were also too large to feasibly be able to eat it all. They had shared everything and there was still food piled on the dishes. It felt like a waste but Theo would think of how to make it up some other time.

"I've saved my stern warnings. I've listened. I've been agreeable. Can I say something serious now?" Theo asked.

Cooker looked over with a nod, "Lecture away, Cap."

Theo tilted her head over to meet Cooker's eyes, "Don't let this be an excuse to not continue to get better."

"What do you mean?"

"You said earlier that this was a waste of eight cycles. All that time, thrown away for nothing."

"It was for nothing," Cooker grumbled, sitting up.

"It wasn't. It was eight cycles that you didn't use and eight cycles that you made a conscious effort to work toward not using. All of that doesn't go away because of one fuck up," Theo also sat up and spun around so they were facing each other, "all of that goes away if it becomes a pattern though. All of it goes away if the effort to try and improve goes away."

"All of those cycles of not using, I wasn't tested at all. The first real test I had, I failed. I had been around loli before but everything was going well in my life. We had money, and ships, and a plan, and people I love around me, and no stress, and work was a fucking breeze and the first time I am given a choice with stress and discomfort breathing down my neck, I cracked. I fucking cracked," Cooker pushed her hair back and then shook her head, frustration written all over her face.

Cooker had expressed similar anguish and sentiment over their dinner but it wasn't so intelligible. Theo could only address her words in bits in pieces, which clearly hadn't helped as much as Theo had wanted. Her hope that Cooker would understand she was able to move past this was slowly slipping.

Theo wasn't qualified. She felt like she was going to fail Cooker. But she was her friend and her captain– and no more experienced than Xyra or anyone else would be at it. She had to try and get Cooker to where she needed to be.

"That wasn't the whole test though," Theo reframed it with a shrug, making it seem like the conversation was coming easy to her, "sure, you caved and did a few hits when no one was around but the moment you dwelled on it, you came clean. You agreed to come here with me. You openly talked about it, which is more than you were willing to do last night. Every single thing that could have gone wrong in the moments after your first bad decision was avoided. You chose right every other time. It is alright for it to take a slip-up or two before you pass a test with a perfect score."

Cooker was silent for a bit. Theo was worried she had crossed some sort of line. Cooker had eventually turned to look up at the ceiling. Maybe it wasn't crossing a line, perhaps it had been too cheesy. But it was true. It was another minute before Cooker made any acknowledgment. She kicked her leg out to the side, nicking Theo's shin.

"Ow," Theo grumbled, too full to give more of a reaction.

"You know, sometimes you do actually help," Cooker looked back over with a slight smile on her face.

Theo laughed, "Thanks.

"I love you," Cooker said and Theo felt herself choke up instantly, "I know I never tell you and I always make you say it first but I love you and I fear a world without you in it. I feel lucky to have found you and made you my family."

By the sound of Cooker's voice, she was trying to keep back her own tears and Theo let hers slip down the sides of her face.

"Shut up," Theo sniffled as she wiped her cheeks and they both laughed, "I love you too. I'm happy you found us."

"Thanks for not going berserk on me," Cooker stood up with a grunt.

"Aye, well, I hope I get that same grace at another point from you."

"I am giving you that grace. I'm not griping about your naughty rendezvous with Red later," Cooker picked up the belt that she had discarded and slipped it over her belt loops without closing the buckle, "you are going to go willingly and knowingly fuck the heir to the Vaith estate and you don't hear me complaining."

"Again, I never said anything about fucking. And I am not going. I'm spending the night with you."

"How sweet. You want to babysit me," Cooker walked over and pulled Theo up from the floor, "but I have to go talk to Agnes about some stuff and hope that I haven't fucked up the best thing in my life."

"You didn't fuck up our relationship, Cook, don't worry," she teased.

"Go get your heart broken, would you?" Cooker waved her off as she walked toward the door, "I'm not lying about where I'm going by the way."

"I know. I trust you."

"You do?" Cooker raised an eyebrow.

"I do."

"That is kind of foolish, don't you think?" Cooker laughed, "bye, you short, short fool."

She walked out before Theo could get a last word in. Cooker was not much taller than her and she wished she could have shouted that. But she couldn't so instead she laughed, and walked over to the table, pulling out her coin pieces and settling their tab.

—---------------------

Theo's palms were clammy as she wiped them on her coat. She was standing in front of Ava's door but had hesitated to knock or make her presence known. Nerves were wreaking havoc on her stomach and she wished that had found a drink or two to relax her before she arrived. Unlike the night before, there was ample time to overthink things when it came to Ava. What would Ava want from her? How much would she be willing to give in?

But she could stall no longer. The nerves in her stomach were turning into butterflies without warning and her heart was screaming out with impatience. She was trying to tamper her expectations and her excitement but the reality was Ava was on the other side of the door and she had been the one to invite Theo over.

There was no answer when she finally knocked on the door. She let a minute pass but she feared that Ava had left the hotel. Had Theo taken too long? After dinner with Cooker, she had gone to Marian's, grabbed clothes along with other knick-knacks, packed a bag, and headed to a private room in a bathhouse. Once refreshed, she headed to the tunnels and was escorted to Ava's place.

Theo was going to knock again but the door opened under her knuckles. Ava was frowning as the door opened and as she registered who it was, the creases in her brow melted away and she smiled. She was wearing a long, red dressing gown that flowed under her as she stepped away and made room for Theo.

Theo stepped in and shut the door behind her, "I was afraid I had left you waiting so long that you had given up on me."

Ava let her robe fall open and it was a simple undershirt, no pants in sight. Theo chuckled at what had been hiding underneath. Ava crossed her arms and fixed Theo with a disapproving look, "What did take you so long?"

"Captain business," Theo said vaguely, stepping closer to Ava with her hands behind her back, "what excuse did you have to keep me waiting out there?"

"Well, I didn't know who would be at the door and I can't have people seeing me dress as anything other than a pristine lady. I needed to change," Ava explained.

Theo took another step forward, closing the gap between them and she took some of the fabric between her fingers, "And this dressing robe was supposed to be emulating pristine lady?"

"Yes, it is," Ava caught on to the teasing and pushed Theo's hand off her robe with a laugh, stepping away from Theo and walking back toward the large table in the middle of the room, "the robe is feminine, and sleek and red with feathers. It is elegant and ladylike and I will not accept any further fashion advice from you."

"If I was giving you fashion advice, you would know," Theo followed Ava to the table, setting her bag down when it was within reach. She spared a look around and the room was identical to Brandon's room next door. She heard the sound of liquid being poured into a glass and as she turned around to find where the noise was coming from Ava was setting down a pitcher and walking over.

She handed Theo a glass and held hers up. They exchanged quick cheers and each of them took a sip of the wine inside.

"Thank you for inviting me over," Theo bowed her head slightly to show her gratitude.

Ava smiled with a shake to her head as she brought up the glass to her lips for another sip. When she was done she looked Theo up and down.

"You look very nice," Ava commented and walked to her bed, sitting at the end of it, watching Theo the whole time, "and you smell incredible too."

Theo hummed, "You know my weakness is flattery."

"I know," Ava smiled slyly, "I'm doing it on purpose."

Theo laughed, "A compliment is a compliment, Red, no matter the intention."

"That is wholly false," Ava laughed.

"Perhaps to you."

"Now that you are here, I must admit I did not invite you over just to see you," Ava realized Theo would not be joining her near the bed and stood up. Instead, she crossed in front of Theo and sat on the table, abruptly changing the subject. Theo had to stop her eyes from trailing down to Ava's bare legs. As she forced her eyesight up, Ava was smirking as she observed, "You know that I have been known to be quite forward."

"That is a slight understatement, love," Theo teased her

Ava rolled her eyes at the jab but continued, "So, I hope you forgive my forwardness yet again but I asked you here so that you could hear my side of it. I pushed you last night for several confessions and gave you nothing in return."

"And in a separate conversation last night, we agreed that it wasn't in our best interest to make what you want to say known," Theo reminded as she set the glass down next to Ava, stepping back to maintain a good distance.

"No, I said I agreed that what I wanted to say wouldn't be best said at that moment. I very much intended to rehash the matter later. This is later," Ava insisted but her tone was calm and her eyes were trained on Theo's. She had forgotten just how uncomfortable and intense Ava could make a conversation; always wanting to touch on topics that Theo didn't. Ava frowned as she continued to speak, "When I was on your crew, I spent the better part of a length ignoring our feelings toward each other and tiptoeing around the obvious and I learned my lesson."

"Which is?"

"I need to shove my interest in your face," Ava laughed as Theo frowned, "So, here I am, shoving my interest right in your line of sight so you cannot ignore it."

Theo's frown broke so she could laugh, one that came from discomfort, "Ignore what? Interest in what?"

"You. Us. Whatever this can be," Ava said and she was getting worked up, frustrated that Theo wasn't giving her what she wanted.

But Theo couldn't. Kaia and Cooker were in her head. They were right. It would just hurt her. She had closed the door on any future with Ava when she sent her back home and it was still something that caused her heart to ache a length after it happened. Theo wished she could be irresponsible and throw all care for the future away. She wished she could indulge in that one moment with Ava even if it meant she would never get to again. Just the thought of her being able to kiss Ava was burning a hole in her chest.

"Red, realistically, this can't be anything," Theo shook her head and Ava rolled her eyes, waving Theo off as she hopped off the table, "That pains me to say but we both know that."

"No, we both don't know that," Ava narrowed her eyes as she stepped toward Theo, "Why do you insist on torturing yourself and denying yourself what you want? You admitted to me last night you missed me. Why is it that this can't be anything? You unilaterally decided that. I had no role in it."

Theo sighed a bit, "I don't want you to take my caution as a lack of care for you."

"Then explain it to me! If your caution is not a lack of care for me, what is it all about? And why don't I have a say in it? You always do this, Theo," Ava grunted in frustration and turned around, stopping her inching toward Theo. She walked back to the table and drank the wine that was left in her glass.

Theo cleared her throat a bit, conceding her request for an explanation, "You are the heir to the Vaith legacy and a future Council member that is secretly working against The Center. I am a pirate captain and potential navy general for the revolution. When would we ever see each other? I would probably be dead before that sun ever came again. I go sacrifice myself for a lost cause and you get locked up in a castle to face dreaded dragons. It doesn't work, Red."

Ava had turned to face each other around during Theo's speech and her expression fell as each word had been spoken. She looked hurt by reality and she bit her bottom lip, searching Theo's face for indication that the conversation could potentially go her way.

"Once I leave this room, I don't know if or when I would see you again," Theo said once again.

"I would wait as long as it takes," Ava said without hesitation.

Theo's gut twisted and she wanted to give in. Ava was right, Theo always made it difficult but she had to be the one to look to the future because Ava didn't. Her concerns would stay and face them when the time came, and it would crush them then. Better to stop it before that happened.

"Doing this would only break both our hearts," Theo said, in almost a whisper.

"It is already broken without you, Theo! I have never told a more obvious lie than when I joked that I didn't miss you yesterday. Even when I was at my angriest with you, even when I felt like I all I wanted to do was corner you, curse you out, and choke you, I still missed you. I still thought you about and mourned that what we had was taken from us because of our stupidity," Ava walked closer to Theo as she pleaded her case.

Theo shook her head and took a few steps back. She had thought that she would be ready to hear Ava say that she still felt the same– or even relieved– but she wasn't. She felt guilty, contrite. She felt Ava deserved to still be angry.

Apparently, she was the only one that felt that way.

Ava reached out and grabbed Theo's forearm once she got close enough, holding her in place, "There is a fucking hole in my heart because of you and it's your duty to fix it. I've tried to fill it but it's useless."

"Aye, you tried to fill it with Viv," Theo felt it slip from her mouth and jealousy was truly a monster. It wasn't accusatory but the unspoken rang louder than what she had said.

Ava frowned, letting go of Theo's arm, and took a step back. She raised an eyebrow and Theo could see that she clenched her jaw. Ava tilted her head to the side and gave Theo a moment to sit with what she had said before resuming the conversation.

"What do you mean by that? I can't quite pick up on it from your tone, Captain."

"I am just pointing it out."

"And that is relevant because?" Ava crossed her arms, "Do you disapprove of the fact that I fucked in your absence?"

"I cannot approve or disapprove of anything you do because I have no ownership over you," Theo shrugged, not wavering as Ava stared right at her, "It upsets me you slept with Viv, sure, but you knew that yestersun."

"It upsets you enough to halt a relationship with me, though. That is what you were implying," Ava twisted her words and Theo scoffed. That wasn't what she had said and Ava knew it.

"Are you being difficult on purpose?" Theo pushed her hair back, "It upsets me that you fucked Viv, not that you didn't stay celibate in my absence. That would be ridiculous to expect of you. And even though I am upset about it, it would never be the reason that I am hesitant to accept whatever you are proposing."

"It plays a factor though," Ava pressed on, she had to be behaving that way on purpose. She wanted to drive Theo insane, "If I had waited for you all this time, I bet you would swoon at the fact that I only had you on my mind."

"You know that is not true," Theo defended herself, "If Viv plays a factor in my hesitation it's that three nights ago you were being bedded by her, you told me yourself. And you were sleeping together for long enough that I know it wasn't meaningless to you. You got attached, I know from experience how it goes. I can't blame you. Viv does that to people. But you are in front of me, mere suns later, proposing something between us. It feels like you are trying to jump into it too fast. Like you are trying to patch up the hurt with me. I don't know if that is good for either of us."

Like always, Ava had pulled something out of her that Theo didn't even know was buried. She had tried to push all jealousy aside but it hadn't worked. Even then, she hadn't lied. Viv was not a factor, but it did scare her. Yet, relief was not what Theo felt. By the looks of it, that wasn't the right thing to say– even if Ava had pushed for that answer. Ava sighed and shook her head, looking away.

"I spent so long wishing that you didn't hate me. I would stay up at night and just hope that if I ever saw you again, you would hear me out and you would be willing to at least talk. That you would give me the time for at least one conversation," Theo took a deep breath, "I seem to be fucking up the opportunity I kept hoping for."

"Well, now I'm wondering if playing hard to get with you is better than being forward," Ava tested.

"Red-" Theo closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, "maybe we shouldn't talk about this right now. I feel like shit is tense and we need to ease into the night."

"Fine. What do you have in mind?" Ava was short, playing hard to get after all.

"I brought over some drugs. Some snacks. Some things to give to you. Seems like a safe option to start with," Theo offered and walked back over to the table, "perhaps going into a discussion of that magnitude was not a good jumping-off point."

"You pirates are unbearable," Ava sighed and threw her arms up as she went to the table, "You would rather do anything but talk."

Theo cracked a smile, digging into her bag, "And despite your protests, you gave in."

"Obviously," Ava grumbled a bit, sitting down and crossing her arms, "I want to see what you have for me."

"I should have known you were a noble from how much you enjoyed gifts."

"You love them too! It's a near-universal trait. Who doesn't like gifts?"

"Xyra."

"Xyra is the exception in every way," Ava laughed, "how is she?"

"Honestly? So, so much better than when you last saw her. She left us, for a while, and spent four cycles with her family before coming back," Theo smiled at the thought of her friend, who she missed more than anyone could grasp.

"Willingly? Or did you force her out?"

"She asked for the break," Theo laughed as Ava's face dropped, "I know. Shocked me too. I'm proud of her."

"I never would have guessed," Ava said and Theo saw her begin to smile, probably remembering Xyra who she had grown close with before leaving, "How did Cook take seeing her brother?"

"Not great," Theo scoffed, crossing her arms, "Fucking hate him. Met once, all I need to know. I dislike him."

Ava laughed with a nod, "There is nothing about him that I can point to that irks me about him but he just rubs me the wrong way."

"He seemed like a perfectly nice person. Even when Cook and I got testy. But I'm not convinced," Theo crossed her arms and leaned on the edge of the table, "his agreeableness puts me off."

"I think we just have a baseline disgust for men," Ava joked.

"I'm afraid you are right, Red," Theo said, pulling out the things in her bag. Six cigarettes, jerky, candy, a book, and earrings.

"Get on with the gifts, Captain. I am impatient," Ava demanded and held out her hand.

Theo laughed, sorting through her inventory before she picked up a small earring, one black gemstone dangling from the middle. She placed it in Ava's palm, where it was quickly taken under her inspection. She held the piece between her fingers and after a few moments, looked up at Theo with a straight face. She rolled her eyes.

"What?" Theo raised an eyebrow, "don't like repurposed gifts?"

"You sit there and give me some speech about heartbreak and not getting involved and bring me this?" Ava held up the earring, the same one Theo had affixed to her ear almost a length before, right after Ava had gotten her ear pierced, "do you know how badly I wanted to kiss you at that moment?"

"I do, because I wanted nothing more than do to so too," Theo flirted a bit, payback for Ava's pushing, "You looked so good in it that I thought you might want it back."

"Well," Ava held out the jewelry, "help me put it on."

Theo sat down and scooted her chair in closer to Ava's, grabbing the earring when she was ready. Ava tilted her head toward Theo, giving her the perfect angle. She tried the gentle approach first but the earring wasn't going through.

"Your piercing closed, Red," Theo said and went to move away but Ava reached out and kept her arm near her.

"Just make it go through," Ava huffed a bit at how easily Theo had given up.

"It's going to feel unpleasant," Theo warned.

"Captain, put the earring in," Ava demanded and Theo obliged, quickly re-piercing her earlobe. Ava jumped a bit but she made no noise.

They were so close, Theo could hear her small intake of breath when the earring went through. No different than the first time, all she could think about was kissing Ava. Her lips were red from having bit down on them while Theo injured her– at her command. She couldn't make a move though.

"There," Theo shook her head, pulling away, "you know, you have just gotten more stubborn in your time away."

"I will admit, embracing nobility has not helped matters much," Ava chuckled and reached over to Theo's stash of cigarettes and pulled one out, "I have been relying on the fact that people cannot say no to me a lot more than I would like."

"What is your most ridiculous habit? Only something a noble could get away with," Theo asked, attempting to ask questions that kept them on more neutral ground.

Ava shrugged and lit the cigarette in her hand with the candles on the table, "I am not answering anything without a deal in place. I am afraid you will try and slime your way out of questions I have for you. You know my proposition, a question for a question."

"I can't lie, I have missed this," Theo chuckled and leaned back in her chair, holding out her hand for the cigarette, "I have a lot to ask now that I have the full understanding of who you are."

"Well, I haven't missed it that much," Ava shrugged and ashed the cigarette before passing it back, "I play all the time. I have found many willing subjects."

Theo held a hand over her heart, "Are you trying to hurt me?

"I am. I need you to know you are replaceable."

"Oof. Keep the jabs coming," Theo laughed.

"Is being a nightmare to handle working for you?" Ava challenged.

"You know what? It kind of is," Theo handed off the cigarette and watched Ava roll her eyes, trying not to crack her own smile, "I get the first question, what was your most noble request?"

Ava thought for a moment, "I like my baths to be hot. So, if it was not hot enough I asked Arnelo to let the bathing room attendants know to put more coal under the bathing pools."

"Pretty fair," Theo acknowledged, "you made it out to seem like you were hard to please."

"I tried not to make people's lives miserable. My family already did enough of that for me," Ava said.

"Who is Arnelo, exactly?" Theo laughed a bit.

"My guard," Ava answered then took a puff from the cigarette, letting it rest in her lungs for a moment before exhaling, "Kaia is interesting. She seems protective of you."

"Is there a question in there?"

"I guess not," Ava hummed.

"Kaia has always been a rather important figure in my life. Not directly but from afar, almost like an inspiration. Her father was the head of the pirate council at Corinspe before Uncilo and she was always around the crucial conversations. I thought she was so cool growing up," Theo chuckled a bit, "obviously, I still think she is but some of the mystery around her has faded. She has never looked at me as anything other than her Captain and I don't think she ever will. Also, I am far too young for her. If that is what you were asking."

"I wasn't," Ava snipped and Theo held her hand out for the cigarette with a smirk. Ava handed it back with a huff.

"Tell me about your siblings," Theo requested.

"Not a question."

"Who is the one you hate the most?" Theo asked, "I would ask who your favorite is but you didn't speak too ill of Mallory when you mentioned her yestersun, I am assuming she is."

"Killian. That is who I hate the most," Ava answered without hesitation and her face grew sour, "he just gets to me and I wish he didn't frustrate me the way he does but I can't help it. I manage to keep it under control now but it's gotten me in trouble in the past."

"Killian. That is who was supposed to be declared heir," Theo clarified.

"Aye, and somehow, to him, my father's decisions were always my fault," Ava scoffed a bit and held out her hand to give Theo the last of the cigarette, "anyway, fuck him. My father sent him away to Aeliz, possibly to his death, to make way for me so-"

Ava reached back for the cigarette that she had just handed off and took it back, finishing it. She looked stressed at the thought of Killian. Or at her position. Theo wasn't sure.

"How are you holding up?" Theo asked and Ava didn't answer, she just stared at Theo, "That is a question added to my tally."

Ava shrugged, "I try not to think about it. When I end this journey, I will be thrown right back into it for who knows how long. So, I'm trying to push thoughts about it back."

"Aren't you always the one wanting to talk about things? Putting it behind a wall is just postponing the inevitable," Theo reminded.

"There is nothing to process or deal with. I am doing something I don't want to do and the thought makes me want to gag. I am going to have to make decisions I don't want to and put innocents in positions I would never put them in under any other condition," Ava argued and she had a point, "it makes me feel shitty to think about and I don't have to think about it right now, so why would I? Talking about it won't change the outcome."

"You're right," Theo acknowledged, "I apologize for messing with you about it."

Ava reached for the glass of wine that Theo had not finished and brought it over, taking a sip, "My turn."

Theo motioned to her to give her the floor.

"You said last night that you fought. What do you mean, you fought?" Ava pointed to Theo's side where she had been shown the bruise the night before, "I want to see it again."

"Using any excuse to get me undressed," Theo clicked her tongue with a teasing smile and sat up, pulling up her shirt. Ava lowered herself to inspect it, "there are a few fighting rings in Niveal that Xyra, Cook, and I attend. Well, now it's Cooker, Morgana, and I."

"And what is the point of you being in these fighting rings?"

"To fight," Theo laughed then inhaled through her teeth and jolted away. Ava had pressed her thumb into her bruise and Theo scooted her chair away, looking at the person who betrayed her, "ow!"

Ava couldn't help but laugh too, dropping her upset act, "Obviously you fight in a fighting ring. I'm saying what is the benefit. Is it some Niveal power thing? Reconnaissance?"

"It's fun to fight and helps get the jitters out," Theo explained, "a lack of combat does no good for us."

"Can't keep you pirates away from the thrill," Ava chuckled and stood up, leaning over to Theo's pile of stuff before going through it.

Ava was still in her open robe and Theo couldn't help but watch as she perused half-dressed through the snacks Theo had brought with her.

"I can feel your eyes on me," Ava said without looking over, "are you going to ask a question or do you forfeit your turn?"

"I didn't know forfeiting was a thing," Theo laughed, "would you like me to forfeit?"

Ava nodded and Theo waved her hand, absolving her right to a question.

"Did that Mithren bitch hurt you?" Ava asked, and the sharpness with which she said it took Theo by surprise. She hadn't really heard Ava speak that way about anyone not in her family, "Fay, was it?"

"It is Fay," Theo smiled a bit and shook her head, "but no, she didn't hurt me. I really am fine. Her bitterness after everything is what has been the biggest nuisance."

Ava narrowed her eyes instead of responding.

"Red, I'm serious. I'm not burying or hiding anything," Theo assured her.

"I can have her killed," Ava stated.

"So can I," Theo laughed, "but I stopped Xyra from doing it and I will stop you too."

"You would murder anyone on sight if you saw them back someone into a corner without their consent," Ava called Theo out, "why is she any different?"

"Because of her father," Theo answered easily, "I am a guest on this island and however complicated it is, her father still loves her and would do anything for her. She is the only family he has left and if she dies, and it gets pinned on us, there is no telling what the Purple Mithren would do."

"I hate when you make sense," Ava rolled her eyes.

"My turn," Theo sat back and rubbed her chin, "what to ask?"

"If you've run out of ideas, maybe it's time we talked about what we need to speak about," Ava prompted, "we are loose enough. No more tension."

There was plenty of tension but it was time to give in. Theo nodded and she laughed at her actions, she didn't want to agree.

"I still don't want to," she cautioned.

"You owe me this much," Ava crossing her arms and Theo did owe her everything, "I will absolve you of all your crimes against me. I will mention them no longer, but only if you indulge me in a conversation without closing yourself off with 'we cant' and 'we shouldn't' and the rest of your avoidant pirate nonsense."

"Riva, help me," Theo mumbled as a joke.

Ava shook her head, and pulled her legs up to her chest, "I'm pushing because I think past your initial hesitation, you want to have this conversation. We need closure. But if I'm wrong about that, we can just go back to not addressing anything."

"You aren't wrong. It's just-" Theo sighed and hung her head back, "I only have so much resolve and I at least have to use it up to let people know I tried to resist what they think is a mistake."

"You are making it seem like if something is to happen between us, that it is going to be catastrophic."

"It probably will be," Theo argued.

"You're a prick. And you are hardheaded. And you are more stubborn than I am," Ava shook her head, "Navi and Xyra. Morgana and Tuni– and from what I've seen– damn near every other relationship has flaws and ours were never that bad. They were never insurmountable."

"There has been a length of time between now and before, we can't just pick up where we left off."

"Why not?" Ava laughed, exasperated, "You don't feel the same way you did before?"

"I do, but we don't have the rest of our lives to figure this out. We have one night then I go fuck off to a practical fortress in Aeliz and you fuck off to a practical fortress in Aubermasse. How will it work?"

"I don't have the answers, Theo! But I don't expect you to either. I was just trying to live in the moment," Ava pleaded.

"For a second, indulge me. Think what would happen if we jump into this thing and all of those feelings resurface, and then you never see me again. What if I die? Think what that will feel like. Worse than that, you may not know I'm gone. You could be waiting for me while I am at the bottom of the ocean somewhere. Think of that pain. We don't know what we will get past right now. Is it worth this one night?"

"Of course it is. There is no doubt in my mind about that," Ava laughed, shaking her head, almost dismayed that it was even a question.

It was exactly what she had said to Kaia the night before. Ava was already in deep, just as deep as Theo was. Everything that she had wished for was happening and yet she was resisting. She wondered, at that point, was it really just for the sake of being stubborn? Kaia and Cooker wouldn't care if she protested for a minute or a length. If she ended up with Ava, the in-between didn't matter to them.

And it was not like she was shielding anyone. They were both clearly fucked as it stood. Hopelessly smitten with each other. There was no protecting her heart, it would already be shattered come Ava's departure. And there seemed to be no use in protecting Ava's either.

Theo cracked a smile, "You know how to wear someone down."

"I should be ashamed that this is my method of getting what I want, but I am not," Ava matched Theo's smile.

"Fine. Let's stop tiptoeing around it. Say what we mean."

Theo stood up and took off her jacket, her shirt, and her boots. Her undershirt was untucked from her pants and she pulled off her belt. She folded it all neatly and put them aside as Ava watched on without comment. Then, Theo reached for the bag and grabbed another cigarette. She lifted it for Ava's approval and once she got it, she held it to the candle and lit it.

"We've been using drugs to cope with our encounters," Ava noted.

"I prefer to think of it like I am helping you catch up on all the mischief you missed out on," Theo started the ravci, the smoke billowing around her as she exhaled. She handed it to Ava then reached down to touch her toes.

Ava laughed, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Stretching, Avery," Theo teased, testing the name and Ava didn't seem to mind, "after a length of not answering your probes, I need to physically prepare myself for what is coming."

Theo stood up and waited for Ava to finish her hit before passing it on. Once the ravci was between her lips, she returned to stretching. It was a relaxing few seconds before she rolled her back, one bone at a time. She stood back up and sighed, handing the cigarette back and taking a seat.

"I'm ready," Theo sank into the chair, "let's lay it all out there, Red, say what we want to say."

"Good. First, let's do what I'm least looking forward to so we can just fucking get it out of the way," Ava set their agenda and Theo obliged without even knowing what was coming, "we need to talk about our grievances. Like, really speak about them."

"Alright. Do you want to go first?" Theo asked.

Ava didn't give her an answer right away. She pondered it for a moment before nodding. Theo nodded along, letting her know she was good to speak whenever she was ready.

"You did wrong by me. A lot. For cycles," Ava said.

"I did."

"Why?"

"I think back to that time and I can't remember what could posses me to act the way I did," Theo said and it pained her to admit but she had no excuse, "I was hurt that you lied to me. I was hurt that I had been played. Hurt that Fletching knew something before me. That my most trusted advisors lied to me too. But I took that out on you and you didn't deserve that."

"I never lied about anything except who I was," Ava promised.

Theo's smile was sad, "I know that. I knew that then but it was buried under blind anger. I reacted rather than think things through. And then, I just stuck to my initial emotions because I felt ashamed of them. I doubled down. I made everything worse because I thought if I had already fucked up anyway, I needed to defend those decisions because I felt like I couldn't go back on them."

"I was owed a trial and had the right to defend myself to the crew like Xyra and Cooker did," Ava argued but she had to know Theo already agreed with that.

"You were. I had no power to be the sole decision whether or not you belonged on the crew anymore. In not advocating for you and sponsoring you, I robbed you of that opportunity to argue your case to the crew," Theo cleared her throat, "but in the spirit of honesty, I don't know how that vote would have gone. I was still bitter, still angry. I might have swayed it against you."

"You wouldn't have," Ava shook her head, "because if you brought me on the ship for a trial, you would have had to face me and I would have badgered you into listening to my side of things. I would have made you see why you needed to give me a chance to plead my case."

"I think I was fully aware of that. And I think I knew that you would convince me. And that even seeing you would break my resolve to stick by the rage I felt," Theo rubbed her arm, uncomfortable with her decisions facing her once again. But it was needed, "that is why I didn't even come down to the prisons to visit you. I couldn't face seeing you in there and facing what I had done. And I knew that one conversation with you would force me to begin to forgive. And I didn't want that. I wanted to hold onto that feeling. I wanted it to hurt you like it had hurt me."

"Why?" Ava looked sad to hear the words but not surprised, she already knew.

Theo shrugged, "I don't know. The monster took over, I suppose."

She tried to pass it off as a joke but it had always been a real concern of hers. Ava didn't answer and it was because it was a poor excuse. At the very least, it couldn't have been left vague, Theo knew that.

"When Fletching revealed it, in front of all those people, I don't think I had ever felt such–" Theo paused and searched for the words then held out her hand for the ravci.

It was handed to her and she took her time with it. Ava was quietly waiting for Theo to finish and she didn't feel rushed.

Theo exhaled and took another moment before looking back up at Ava, "it was like this guttural, visceral pain. I hadn't experienced anything like it. I didn't know how I hadn't seen it before. I had been so blinded by my feelings for you I didn't take a step back to question anything. And to be confronted with that, in front of everyone, for the first time was pure torture. Then, I realized not soon after that Xyra had known all along and so had Cooker and-"

Theo's lips closed into a tight line and she crossed her arms, bringing the ravci to her mouth and took a hit.

"You were hurt," Ava summarized and Theo blew out the smoke with a nod.

She handed back the ravci, "I was hurt. And as a captain and as a friend and whatever else we are to each other, I should have moved past the hurt. Or, I should have at least addressed the pain and tried to make it better. Instead, I held onto it. I didn't want to let go of that. I don't know why. I've always been like that when things heat up too much. Act first, act out of emotion, let the anger fuel you."

Theo sighed a bit, shaking her head with a slight roll of her eyes. Disappointed in herself for letting the ways of men influence her, "But that is vanguard thinking. That is the way I had to be around others growing up. When I became a captain, I thought through my actions more. I let go of that anger unless the situation called for it. If I slipped up, I had Xyra or Cook to talk me down. This time, everyone was a part of the problem, especially them. I pushed them all away and I let myself become unrecognizable. I regret every moment of it."

"Why'd you let it get to that point?"

"I have no idea. And that haunts me..." Theo stayed quiet for a few moments, dropping her eye line to her pants, biting her bottom lip in thought. She laughed softly but it was dry, "As I said, I had already lashed out without thinking, and I needed to stick by those choices. What would have been the point of hurting everyone I had hurt if I was just going to back and apologize for it?"

"That's fucked up," Ava said.

"I know," Theo nodded, "I absolutely know that now. But in the moment, I just emulated what I had seen done by everyone who had been hurt before me. I know it's not an excuse but I had been raised on using anger to fuel you forward when you are wronged. When you are betrayed, it is unforgivable and you must cease all connection. It isn't right. It isn't what I was supposed to do, I never really let myself go there anymore, but I defaulted to it. I let Captain Theo take over."

Theo rubbed her hands together as she finished her explanation and she realized she hadn't had a single apology mixed in. She scoffed at herself.

"I am sorry, Red. I know I said it before but I want you to know how much I wish I could have done things differently," Theo thought she had finally finished but more came out, "I had several chances to make it up. I had chances to correct my actions and mitigate harm and I took none of those opportunities. I failed you at every turn and I will spend my whole life making that up to you if you'd allow me.

Ava's face had morphed from upset to understanding. She couldn't quite tell when the switch had happened but being vulnerable with a topic she hated to talk about had helped.

"Doesn't seem like you've done much reflection," Ava teased and Theo felt all the tension release from her chest as she laughed from her belly.

"I have had many sleepless nights thinking about it," Theo admitted, "I feel some anguish about it, if you couldn't tell."

"It comes across, do not worry," Ava laughed a bit.

"Is there anything else I can do to make it up to you besides apologizing?" Theo asked, "I'll do anything. Ten thousand gold? A few ships? Buying you an ancient castle? Name it."

"I can think of several things and none involve anything as drastic as you are mentioning. But, we will get to that later," Ava handed the cigarette back after hitting it and reached over for a snack, "I have a few things I would like to say first."

"By all means, my Lady," Theo teased.

Ava kicked her foot lightly against Theo's shin with a small chuckle, "To begin, I would like to say that I forgive you. I'm not saying what you did was right or that it was justified by any means. It was hypocritical but I know you are aware. I know you are punishing yourself for it. And while I wish it wasn't fucking true, being at Aubermasse was the best thing that could have happened if we want a future without The Center."

"Even if it's true, it doesn't make any of this any more comforting," Theo noted.

"I agree," Ava smiled a bit, "and I need to apologize too. I lied to you. I continued to do so even after I realized just how big of a deal it was. I continued to after I found out about Viv lying to you and how that affected you. I continued after figuring out just how closely our family's histories are intertwined. I continued in hopes that I would just never have to come clean. I was no better than Viv."

"I know you lied but putting you in the same category as Viv is unfair to you. You never intended to be malicious. You were scared," Theo excused her behavior.

Ava shook her head, "I was scared. I didn't know what I was doing, or how to defend myself if I ever went to trial over it, and I didn't know how to get out of it. And when I leaned on someone else, it fucked me over, but all of those are excuses. I should have come clean."

"I forgive you for that," Theo nodded, "any anger I held over that, I have let go."

"Because you feel that your actions are forcing you to absolve me of my wrongdoings? Or because you genuinely forgive me?" Ava clarified.

"Both are equally important to me. I am ready to forgive and even if I wasn't, I would still have let it go," Theo said and then chuckled at Ava's unconvinced expression, "I promise, there is no bitterness that is lingering."

"Good," Ava took a deep breath, "because my last point is that I fucking miss you."

Theo laughed and Ava did too.

"I'm serious, Theo," Ava took a deep breath and exhaled, closing her eyes, "I didn't think of you every sun because I couldn't bear it. Every time I did, I would just be in misery. I would just be reminded of the good times together and wonder how everything had gone so wrong. And then I would blame me, and you, and everyone I could mentally point my finger to. I tried to distract myself, I tried to ignore the nagging feeling of not having you around, I tried to make myself despise you and none of it worked."

"I wish it had. It would make this a lot easier for us," Theo joked and she knew Ava hadn't taken it seriously when she cracked a smile.

"I know. It would solve a lot of our problems if I could just walk away right now," Ava acknowledged, "but I don't want to walk away."

"You don't have to and despite my previous protests, I don't want you to," Theo said and reached forward, wrapping her hands around the legs of Ava's chair, pulling her closer, "because even in the face of everything I've said. And in the face of fear of what's to come. And in the face of how much risk being together brings us, I cannot help but need you."

"Need me? That is a dangerous thing to claim, Captain. A very large departure from you wanting me to stop trying to address what is between us," Ava raised an eyebrow.

"I'm aware of how it looks," Theo smiled, "but when have I ever been traditional in my approach to anything?"

"You need me," Ava stated once again, giving Theo the opportunity to amend or retract her statement.

"I do. Like a fish needs water. Like a god needs their followers. I need you like a pirate needs treasure," Theo laughed at her own confession as she saw Ava roll her eyes, "Red, I'm so fucking serious. Don't roll your eyes at me."

"I hate you," Ava crossed her arms.

"What?!" Theo laughed again, "What did I do except try to woo you?"

"Exactly that. You use your words to push me away and then half an hour later use them to pull me in," Ava accused, "it's cruel."

"You want to know where I stand once and for all?" Theo asked and Ava nodded, "I stand wherever you are standing. All attempts to keep this light and away from anything serious have failed. On some level, I was trying to protect you too. But, I have always made the mistake of thinking for you or deciding something like that for you because I didn't trust you knew what you were saying."

"And now, you suddenly trust what I'm saying?"

"I trust you know what is best for you and you know how to navigate consequences. If you miss me and if you have feelings for me, even after all this time, why am I questioning it?" Theo asked, "You called me on my shit, Red. I was being stubborn and it got us nowhere. We both want this but I wasn't letting us get there."

"So, you admit that at every turn it has been you that has been foiling attempts to be together," Ava teased.

"Oi," Theo shook her head, "no, I was the one that foiled attempts right when we started training together. After that, if you recall, it was all you."

"I was trying to mitigate the damage I would cause," Ava defended.

"Didn't help all that much," Theo laughed, "we could have at least been enjoying that time together."

"Would it not have made things worse?" Ava asked.

"It would have," Theo admitted, understanding that Ava had made the right choice about that. Theo would love to have said it wouldn't have mattered but the closer she got with Ava, the worse it would have been when her true identity was revealed.

"But we are here now, and there is nothing between us that is unsaid or hidden," Ava noted, "and I've already established that I miss you. You have established you feel the same and dare I repeat what you said, you need me."

"I do. And I'll take what you can give me," Theo joked.

"I can give you what you want," Ava said, but she was serious.

"Now what? Are we just together?" Theo chuckled, "It can't be that easy, can it?"

"Why not?"

"I do not have that answer. I was asking you," Theo said.

"If everything were somewhat normal and I didn't come back with a legion of guards and spies at my back, would you freely walk around Niveal with me as your counterpart?" Ava asked.

"What you are asking is if I would I claim you as my partner?" Theo clarified, "I would."

"Then it is that easy," Ava noted.

"After a length, all it takes is a few conversations and we are where we couldn't fathom being when we tried this last," Theo hummed and stood up, "how?"

"Why question it? Haven't we been dealt a difficult enough hand in the past? We should take solace in the fact that this time, it is that much simpler to just be together," Ava said and also stood up, looking up at Theo.

"I think you are right," Theo said and took the chance to wrap her arms around Ava's waist, pulling her in, "and I may be a fool for what I've done, but I am a fool that learns from my mistakes."

"And what did you learn?" Ava prompted, wrapping her arms around Theo's neck.

"To stop wasting time," Theo said, with a smile, "may I kiss you?"

Ava smirked a bit, "What?"

Theo understood the joke, the corner of her lips turned into a smile as she was met with a taste of her own antics, "So, that's a no."

Ava gasped and shook her head, "That is not what I said!"

"I'm sorry. I like consent to be clear and communicated. If it's absent, I take it as a no," Theo began to slip her arms out from around Ava and Ava dropped her hands to Theo's wrists with a laugh.

Theo's hands were forced around Ava's waist once again, "Ask me again."

"May I kiss you?" she repeated.

"Hm," Ava tapped a finger to her lips, "see, now, I'm not so sure."

Theo laughed at Ava's immaturity, "Neither am I. I think I am also reconsidering everything we just discussed."

Ava laughed too, reaching back up to rest her arms on Theo's shoulders. Theo didn't move away that time. She just stared at Ava who was looking up at her. They were silent and soaking up each other's presence. For the first time, Theo let herself revel in it. Green eyes were looking back at her and it was all she had been waiting for. The feeling of holding Ava in her arms felt unreal like she would blink and wake up in her bed.

"Captain," Ava whispered and pulled herself in closer, hinting at just what she wanted.

"My Lady," Theo answered, taking her turn to mess with Ava. She leaned in closer, "How can I be of service?"

"You are right," Ava huffed, "you are a fool."

Theo just smiled at the insult and untangled one arm from Ava, bringing her hand up to hold Ava's chin between her thumb and finger, "I would prefer express permission, exal."

"Kiss me," Ava said.

Theo smiled and began to lean in, as she did she watched Ava's eyes slip shut and she did the same. Theo's hand moved to cup Ava's jaw as she slotted their lips together. There was a burning fire in her stomach, and a warm wave of relief came over her. Something inside of her felt like it was being mended together.

There was no rush to it. They took their time, perfectly in sync even after a length between them. Ava pulled away but didn't go far. She rubbed a thumb where it landed on the back of Theo's neck and pressed their foreheads together. Theo opened her eyes and let out a laugh. Ava was already looking back at her and Theo couldn't help it, she leaned in for a second kiss.

Ava obliged, pushing herself closer to Theo, causing her to lean against the table. Ava took the opportunity to slot herself between Theo's legs. But it went no further. Theo got lost in Ava, basking in the tenderness between them. A steep contrast to the frustration that had been brewing earlier in the night. There was no pressure behind their kisses, reacquainting themselves slowly– hands roaming but still innocent.

Ava pulled away after what felt like too short of a time, "What is going through your mind?"

"Why do you ask questions at a time like this?" Theo looked up at her, smiling so hard it hurt.

Ava shrugged one shoulder with a smile plastered across her face and a laugh bubbling in her chest, "I just want to know everything that goes on in your head."

"There isn't really one thought as much as overwhelming elation," Theo admitted, "maybe there is a bit of cursing out of shock that slips through."

Theo squeezed Ava's hips to prompt her attention.

"What about you? What's on your mind?" Theo ran her hands up and down the sides of Ava's thighs. It was bare skin and Theo couldn't help herself; Ava was warm under her touch, "how do you feel?"

"I feel like it was only yestersun the last time we did this," Ava smiled and her cheeks had slowly started to turn red, "I feel..."

Ava just shrugged and when Theo laughed at that, she leaned forward and put her forehead on Theo's shoulder. Theo's hand lifted off her thighs and came back to her waist and she wrapped the other woman in her arms. She titled just enough to be able to give Ava a kiss on the side of her cheek.

"Now I see what you mean," Ava mumbled.

"Not sure I know what you referencing."

"How having this will only remind me what I am missing when we aren't together," Ava sighed a bit and pulled back so she was looking at Theo again, "sorry for giving you a hard time."

Theo shrugged, "It was necessary."

"Can we take the snacks and the copious amounts of drugs to the bed?" Ava asked.

"You're playing the long game with trying to get me under those covers," Theo accused and stood up, untangling herself from Ava.

She reached over to pick up the stuff they needed as Ava watched on.

"I don't need to play the long game, Captain. I know I can get you under the covers in one sentence."

"You have always been testy, Red, but you've seemed to refine your skills at talking shit," Theo hummed.

"Enough toe-to-toes with Viv provides a great sharpening tool for my wit," Ava joked and made her way back to the bed, climbing to the middle and waiting for Theo with her legs crossed.

"I know this isn't your ideal conversation but could we talk about that?" Theo asked as she set down everything they needed on the table and nightstand, also climbing up into the middle of the bed, "like, talk about Viv and your time with her?"

"Sure," Ava nodded and reached for some jerky, "but why?"

"I don't think it's possible for me to get any more jealous, so I might as well satisfy my curiosity. I think not knowing is worse than knowing," Theo laughed a bit and scooted back so she was sitting up against the headboard.

"Knowing what, exactly?"

"Whatever you are willing to share."

Ava smirked a bit and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her crossed thighs, "Fine. I will give you five questions. No boundaries. But, I get to redeem five questions of my choosing at any time."

"I have nothing to hide, I think it's more than a fair deal," Theo laughed, "I will be starting now."

Ava laughed and grabbed a cigarette from the stash, "This is our third one. We are halfway through your supply."

"We might want to slow down," Theo chuckled as she watched Ava get up, walking over to a candle to light the cigarette.

"No need. There is dragon's breath in that drawer next to you. I had Oceane go buy me some," Ava wiggled an eyebrow as she walked back to the bed.

"How is O doing? I haven't gotten to talk to her very much. I wish I got more time with her," Theo frowned a bit.

"I got her an escort to the inn the crew is staying at. That way, she can see Fjord and anyone else she wants to," Ava handed off the ravci cigarette, "but, she'll be coming back to Aubermasse with me."

Theo took a long drag of the cigarette and nodded then exhaled, "I figured when there was no conversation about her return to the crew."

"Sorry."

"You've got to hold on to Oceane," Theo chuckled a bit and although she would rather her officer be with her where she belonged, she understood why, "I get it. Smart move to keep her."

"She is choosing to stay with me," Ava admitted.

"Do I have anything to do with that decision?" Theo asked.

"I think a majority of it was her feeling a duty to stay by my side," Ava consoled.

"But a small part of it is me," Theo pressed.

"Aye," Ava confessed, "she was cross with you for a long while about your actions. Before I found the letters, it was a factor in her decisions. After, not so much."

Theo frowned a bit as she nodded, "I need to find a time to see her before you leave."

"I am sure she would appreciate it," Ava scooted up closer to Theo but still faced her, "you aren't going to go forward with your questions? I would rather you just ask them all now."

"Did you love her?" Theo asked without hesitating a moment longer. She thought the answer was no. She hoped the answer was no.

"No," Ava chuckled a little and Theo let out a breath of relief, "I held some level of affection and care for her, however fucked up we were to each other."

"To each other?" Theo raised an eyebrow.

"That is your second question," Ava hummed and Theo sat up with a gasp.

"Oi, follow-ups are not counted as a question, that was a rule you established."

"There are new rules. I have had to learn to be stringent," Ava pushed back on her challenge.

"Who have you been playing with that has led you to be a tyrant about questions?" Theo laughed, shaking her head at the sudden rule changes.

"That's your third question," Ava smirked as she pulled the ravci from Theo's hands and took a few puffs in a row.

Theo shook her head with a scoff, crossing her arms in mock indignance, "Well, go on and at least answer them."

"Remind me of your second one?" Ava chuckled, "The three cigarettes in a row have had their effect."

"In what ways were you fucked up to each other? Where are you to blame for fucked up shit, I suppose is the question," Theo tilted her head slightly.

"I needed to get things I wanted and I used her for that at times. She did the same to me," Ava ducked her head a bit and let out a deep breath then groaned, looking back up, "I told you, I am different when I'm at Aubermasse and I need to get past an obstacle."

"You seem uncomfortable talking about this," Theo noted and she couldn't help but smirk at it, "not so fun, is it?"

Ava went to respond but Theo held a finger up.

"That is not my fourth question," Theo interrupted and also sat forward, taking the ravci from Ava, "and I am owed a better explanation. Too vague to count as an answer. What exactly did you do?"

"Viv likes sex and I took advantage of that. I used it as a distraction at times. Other times, it was to get her guard down so I could get something I wanted. Subtle things. It wasn't like Viv didn't see through it though. She just led me along too," Ava admitted and she looked away, she seemed remorseful, "other times, I just used her as a pawn in front of my father or forced her into political and social positions she didn't want to be in to if it meant I could get my way."

Theo listened along and when Ava stopped, she didn't answer. She wasn't quite sure what to say. Ava looked back over and her eyes were begging for a response.

"Does that upset you?" Ava asked.

Theo shook her head, "No. Viv was doing the same thing to you the whole time. I understand. And, you were backed into a corner and doing what you needed to survive. I can't hold that against you."

"Were you like that with her too?"

It was Theo's turn to bow her head slightly. She put the cigarette between her lips and picked at her thumb for a moment before pulling the ravci out of her mouth followed by an exhale of smoke, "No. I was compliant. Nauseously blinded by the fog of infatuation. She would be mean and I would swoon."

"No wonder she likes you better," Ava teased a bit but Theo couldn't really manage a smile, "What?"

"I'm sorry," Theo cleared her throat, "I'm sorry for putting you in a situation where you had to learn to adapt to Viv and live with her."

"I don't need any apologies. Working with Viv has taught me how to navigate politics. I haven't winded up dead precisely because I've had to adapt and live with her," Ava assured Theo and that was almost worse.

Her jealousy was rampant at the thought that they would go back to the estate together, her gut burned with anxiety, but Theo had to push it down.

"My third question," Theo reminded even though she was afraid of the answer, "who did you play this game with?"

"I was joking about that being your third. You can ask another question," Ava chuckled.

"No, you are avoiding it on purpose," Theo said, "tell me."

"Vivexa," Ava said.

"Oh gods," Theo put both her hands on her heart and sunk into the bed, fully laying down, "my soul. My heart. Everything. It's all being crushed."

Ava laughed, "Theo, stop."

"Stop what? There is nothing to stop," Theo gasped out, "I'm just dying. Don't pay me any mind."

Ava put out the cigarette and leaned over, slapping her on the arm with a laugh, "Alright! I get it! I am a horrible person."

"I thought I was special, Red," Theo teased and looked up at Ava, ceasing her fit.

"Well, now you know the truth," Ava teased, and instead of going back to her spot, she sat next to Theo, who was laying down.

"I have my fourth question," Theo smiled and rolled over on her side, looking up at Ava, "if it's an answer I don't want to hear, just lie."

"I promise I will."

"Who is better? Me or her?" Theo wiggled her brows.

Ava threw her head back and laughed, "You are no different than Viv is. She asked the same thing, incessantly."

"And what was the answer? I need to know," Theo sat up as she laughed, "and if you need a refresher on what I can offer, I am happy to provide that."

"I could use a refresher later to make sure I am correct in my choice," Ava put her hand on Theo's thigh, "but, I don't need it to know that you are better."

"I knew it. No doubt in my mind," Theo shrugged.

"There was a little doubt," Ava teased.

"Just a bit. She is incredible at what she does."

Ava laughed, shrugging to avoid confirming that it was true. She pushed Theo onto her back and slipped on top of her. Theo thought she was going to be kissed but Ava had different intentions. She paused for a moment and both of them basked in the proximity. They slotted together just right. Theo made no protest nor had any questions about Ava's antics, she was always willing to be patient with her; that had not changed.

After a moment, Ava pushed herself forward and pressed her lips to Theo's. It was soft and sweet, how it had been several minutes before. Nothing had been rushed or heavy like she had imagined it would be if they were together again. It was slow, delicate, and intentional.

Ava pulled away from her and Theo slowly open her eyes; a painfully wide grin on her face.

"Come back," Theo made a simple request but Ava shook her head.

"You said something when I wasn't ready to hear it and it wasn't fair because I have lived with that ever since," Ava said, "On your ment, you told me something I begged you not to and now it's my turn to confront you with it."

"You deserve that much."

"And let me preface by saying you aren't allowed to say shit to me or discourage me from how I feel. I know it defies logic because of everything that happened on Corinspe and on that lightbringer but let me say it without you fussing."

"Get on with it," Theo teased as she pulled Ava slightly down for a kiss. Ava let herself indulge for a moment before she was pulling away. Theo licked her lips and chuckled a bit, sitting back against the headboard, "Doom me to be wrapped around your finger for all eternity."

Ava broke out into a grin and started to laugh, she smacked Theo on the chest and turned her head to the side, Theo's heart leaped out of her chest. It was hard to breathe, there was no room for air amongst all of the joy. Ava looked back and they locked eyes and everything else seemed to melt away.

"I love you, yomi'u," Ava said.

"I love you too," Theo laughed and pulled Ava down onto the bed, flipping them so Theo was on top and Ava was staring up at her, "in that situation though, exal would have been more appropriate."

"What?!" Ava gasped, "You said that I say yomi'u after you say exal. As a call and response. You called me exal earlier. Not even a half hour ago."

"Well, it varies case by case, you need to feel how long it's been since the last exal was said. It's been some time since then. So, you felt it wrong," Theo teased and leaned down to place a kiss on the side of her mouth, trailing back down her jaw and to her neck.

"You know how to ruin a moment," Ava huffed at the correction then reached up and pushed Theo's hair behind her ear, "say it again so I can enjoy it."

"I love you, exal," Theo chuckled and pulled away to get a good look at Ava, "I have loved you for longer than you know. Fuck that, I have loved you for longer than even I know."

Ava laughed again but Theo could see the blush that was covering her face, it was a nervous laugh. She was pinned under Theo and showered with affectionate words, it was understandable.

"Are you not planning on saying it back?" Theo asked.

"I love you, Captain," Ava pushed at Theo's shoulders until Theo rolled off of her and Ava wasted no time in climbing on top. They were once again flipped and Ava was straddling Theo's hips.

"You've got me in a compromising position, my Lady," Theo chuckled as her hands found their home on Ava's hips.

"I know," Ava scooted down and allowed Theo to sit up; they were suddenly close together again and Ava closed the gap to kiss her. Theo obliged and wrapped her arms around Ava, bringing her as close as possible. Ava pulled her face away slightly and caught her breath, "I think I should take you up on your offer from earlier. I need to reassess your performance."

Theo nodded with a bit of a smirk, "I am ready for my test."