"Must be a record," Kaia walked through the open door, "the whole city of Fellen in three hours. Payments from businesses have been collected and placed in storage and Skins is onboarding the recruits as we speak."

"Xyra's done Fellen faster," Theo shrugged but it was just a joke, she kept the bit going, "could have been left a bit more impressed."

"I'll always be in her shadow. Why can't you see I'm right here, Theo?!" Kaia walked to the desk and set down some papers and a letter. She leaned over and gripped the collar of Theo's shirt, shaking it a bit, "why can't you see I'm doing everything I can to make you notice me!"

Theo laughed and pushed her hands away, "How many recruits?"

"Thirteen."

"Anything funny going on in town?"

"Nothing to report. Things are quiet," Kaia shrugged then looked down and put a finger on the sealed envelope on the desk, "you've got a letter."

Kaia slid it forward and Theo went to grab it but it was pulled away at the last second. Kaia picked it up off the desk and held it behind her back.

"Not so fast, Captain."

"Who is it from?"

"You know who it's from," Kaia shrugged, "you come to the party tonight, you get to read Xyra's letter."

Theo narrowed her eyes, "I already told you, I don't go to parties when we are at sea. We are vulnerable."

"Funny. Because I heard that there was rarely ever a party you used to miss out on. At sea or not, you at least showed your face," Kaia smirked a bit, having caught the lie. Theo would find the snitch and gut them, "so, you will make an appearance tonight."

"It's my letter. You can't force me to go. I am your captain, I command you," Theo held her hand out.

"You know what else I was made privy to?" Kaia tilted her head, "You can play the lute."

"I can also sing and dance. I'm a regular entertainer," Theo sat up, "hand over Xyra's letter."

"Then you'll grace us all with your entertainment tonight," Kaia demanded.

"I would sooner fuck a man," Theo laughed.

"Xyra told me that it was my job to take care of you. I have let you be a recluse for three cycles and skip out on most of the parties we have had because I thought it was the way things were. Apparently, that is not normal of you," Kaia shook her head, "hence I have been failing at my job and breaking my promise. Two things I don't do, so you are coming to the party."

"Fine, but I won't perform."

"Perfectly fine with me," Kaia handed Theo the letter, "figured if I asked for something massive, simply showing up to the party would seem more attractive."

"I want Xyra back," Theo joked and began to open the letter.

Theo,

I will keep things brief as I do not want you distracted by the letter. I am happy to hear from you, alive and well. I have also heard from Cooker. Like you, she has not experienced too many hardships as of yet and is on track to make it to Niveal on time. In a letter I sent to Cooker, I have informed her that you are alright. I plan on making it to Niveal after you have been there for a cycle. I would come sooner but I have things here in Nefriti I must help my family with before coming back.

I know you worry about me but I am doing better. If I am honest, I have been away from work for far too long and I am itching for my suns to be filled with duties. I have taken to reading, writing, meditating, and have even joined some old grandmothers at the gardens in town. We share small snacks and mead that we bring from home as we watch the children play. I bring my sisters' children and they bring their grandchildren. They are quite entertaining to be around and they have accepted me as one of their own. Perhaps I have been hanging around the wrong age group my whole life. Misunderstood by most, welcomed by the elderly.

Theo laughed at that. She could have told Xyra that she got along with older generations, there was no need to go on a vacation to learn that fact.

I will refrain from giving many more details as I am sure there will be plenty of time to catch you up when I arrive. In your next letter, please write to me about those on the ship. You have told me things are going well but you have spared all the important parts. How is Fortune? Is Kaia adjusting to the role? Knowing these things will make the itch to leave to Niveal immediately go away. If Navi is interested, please let her know that I am doing alright.

She didn't finish the last part of the letter because she could hear a slight snicker above her. Looking up from the paper, Kaia still hovered over her desk and her smile hadn't gone away.

"What?"

"You are quite adorable," Kaia laughed, "your smile is sweet, excited. Xyra is lucky to have a friend like you."

Theo chuckled and shook her head, "Stop flirting."

"If I were flirting, you would know, Captain Theo," Kaia said.

"The way you say my name says otherwise," she teased.

"Captain Theo has a way of rolling off the tongue. Very sultry," Kaia commented, "which is why I could never be a captain. Captain Lee? Captain Kaia? It doesn't work."

Theo laughed, she disagreed. Both sounded good but it wasn't relevant to discussing their work.

"Anything else to report from Fellen?"

"News from Elox."

Theo sat up and gave a tight nod, indicating she wanted to hear it.

"She's been spotted at dinners. Reintroduced to society. Rumor has it that her mother has been inviting eligible men to spend spring at the estate. Word is she is to be married off before reclassification, which is in less than a length.

"Thank you for the report," Theo tried to keep a calm exterior, flashing a half-hearted smile as she began to scoop up the papers on her desk and organize them, "Go update the recruit's ledger then go by storage and check how much was spent on restocking the ships and how much profit came from Fellen."

"One last thing..." Kaia hesitated and waited for Theo to meet her gaze before speaking up again, "Vivexa is at the Aubermasse estate. My contact saw her at one of the dinners next to the Vaith girl. She stayed close for most of the night. He couldn't get your letter delivered to her."

"She's guarding Red," Theo observed with a hum and put her elbows on the desk, putting her palm on her chin, "Tell your contact to burn the letter. Have him make no attempt to deliver it to her. He won't be able to without raising Viv's suspicions Last thing I need is for Red to get hurt because of me. We will find another way."

"I don't think there is another way, Theo," Kaia frowned.

"I will figure one out," Theo stood up then motioned towards the door, "thank you for your hard work this aftermorning."

Kaia nodded and gave a small bow, "I will send word to my contact now to not attempt delivery."

Theo nodded in confirmation and waited for her first mate to leave before letting out a deep sigh and leaning over her desk a bit, palms flat on the wood under her. She shook her head and tried to dispel any sadness or anguish at the thought that the only hope she had kept of reaching Ava was gone. She had written a letter to her apologizing and offering to find a way to get her out of there. Theo had asked Kaia to aid with the quest to reach Ava and the first mate had used her connections to find a way into the estate walls, to reach an eye on the inside. Theo wanted the letter to be handed to Ava directly lest it was interrupted by anyone else; but that was no longer a possibility. The letter would not be delivered.

Kaia had been right, there was nothing else that they were able to do but Theo couldn't just give up that easily. The more news came out about Ava, the less Kaia believed that Ava was as innocent as everyone painted her. But Theo had no doubt that she was not doing any of it willingly.

After handling her emotions, she straightened up and reached into her top drawer for a journal and her ink. She walked out to the balcony, set her stuff down, came back inside for a pipe and ravci, then sat down outside. She thumbed the journal open, flipping through some pages until she arrived at a log. In Aelizan, she had kept track of everything that they had heard coming from Elox. She began to write down the date and what Kaia had reported. Red had been attending noble dinners and Vivexa was spotted to be her handler.

Her eyes scanned over the notes she had already taken. A cycle after the crew had left Corinspe, they had heard the news that Ava was home, alive and well. The official release from the office of the Vaiths was that the family was spending time with each other during such a joyous occasion. The thought of any of Ava's family being around her, hovering over her with false enthusiasm for her return, made her stomach sick. Half a cycle after they heard her return announcement, it was announced that she was traveling to the Center for a quick trip to testify to the Council about what she had gone through and that she had been rescued. Half a cycle after that, their contact reported that Avery Vaith was seen in the Eloxian loungehouses, interacting with other families.

Now, three cycles after the crew had left Corinspe, Avery Vaith was attending noble dinners. Noble dinners were all about politics, diplomacy, and impressing others of status. Ava was being used as a pawn, most likely. Her punishment was not being locked away in an estate tower, it was to help the Vaith family name. The tales of the sacrifices of Grant and Ulises Vaith had already been spread across the land. And while Theo knew for a fact that the Center was weaker than they had been in ages, that was not what upper society heard. Anyone with a last name would eat it up. They would cling to the words coming from The Center that projected strength, unity over two martyrs brought the ruling class together. Whatever fissures were lying under the surface, greedy last namers willing to do anything to climb the ranks, were spackled over with Baethan rhetoric.

Theo tapped her finger against the table, thinking, thinking, thinking. The letter didn't work. It was a long shot but had been her only choice. Now, they had nothing. She could send for Viv, get her away from Ava but that still wasn't a guarantee that anyone would get to speak to Red or give her anything. Plus, whatever money Viv was getting would have been unbeatable. She wouldn't leave. One of the most powerful men in Baethos had employed a cunning nightmare.

There was a knock on the balcony's entrance and Theo looked over to see Skins stepping out, "Kaia said she was going to land to drop off some communications but we are ready to leave once she's back."

Theo nodded and then motioned to the other chair. She took a puff from the pipe then handed it to Skins.

"All the recruits are settled in?" Theo asked.

Skins nodded with a small cough before passing the pipe back, "All 13 of them. Now, we've got 96 spread across all of the ships."

"What are the updates from the other quartermasters?"

"Recruits are settling in nicely. Training is slow, given there are a lot of trainees and not enough trainers but that was expected to happen," Skins shrugged, "I would say it's been successful, so far, Cap."

"Good job, Skins," Theo nodded, "thank you for all the hard work."

"Anything for the crew," Skins stood up but Theo held her hand out and she sat back down.

"How do you feel about taking on this position more permanently?"

Skins cleared her throat then shrugged, "I'll do it."

"But how do you feel about it?"

"If I'm being honest, it's a lot of work, and it's not something I have a passion for," she admitted.

"You are great with people, though. You look happy when you do it," Theo tried to reason.

"There is another position I want more," Skins said, "What Gianna does."

"Boatswain?"

"No, shopping," she replied, "I know that she's been having trouble keeping up with matters on the lightbringer and spending her whole sun shopping for resupplies for all the ships."

"Very well. I will float the idea by for an amendment to the boatswain position to remove that part of the job and create a new one. Supervised by the head of storage," Theo nodded, "but it has to wait until Niveal."

"Fine with me," Skins smiled, "can I help Gianna before then?"

"If you have no recruits when we dock somewhere, aye, you may help her," Theo confirmed.

"Thanks, Cap," Skins stood up.

"No one ever seems to want to be quartermaster," Theo hummed, "why do you think that is?"

"Takes too much emotional intelligence. I prefer to haggle for the best deals than to have to handle everyone's problems," Skins laughed, "no one quite had the patience like Red did."

At the mention, Theo looked down at her journal with a frown.

"Sorry, Cap," Skins muttered but Theo looked up, shaking her head

"No need to apologize," Theo managed a smile, "thank you for your flexibility these past few cycles."

Skins began to walk out but stopped, "Thank you."

"There is no reason to thank me for not making you stay in something you aren't happy doing," Theo chuckled.

"Not for that," Skins said, "you gave me a life I had dreamed about as a kid. Everyone has a fantasy growing up the way we did, of being cared for, of finding comfort and a family and some coin. You gave that to us."

"And in exchange, I ask you to put your lives on the line for me," Theo replied.

"No, you don't ask. We want to," Skins said, "we are doing good things here, Cap. We've given that dream to about 100 new people, probably more with Cooker's recruits too. You should be happy."

"I am," Theo smiled, "it is a good thing that we are doing."

"I don't mean happy about just that. I meant in general," Skins offered her advice, "you can't keep making yourself miserable over past mistakes. All we can do is move forward."

"Thank you for your input," Theo stood up too, grabbing her belongings.

"Captain, we've made it safely three cycles down the coast. Last we heard, both Cooker and Xyra are okay.-"

"They are still okay."

"Exactly. And we've made money. Gotten new businesses to protect. New ones to own. Things are peaceful at the coast. Fewer soldiers in Safriti because of our fight with The Center. There are a lot of things to be happy about," Skins continued.

"Skins, all due respect, pointing out my good actions does not absolve me of my mistakes," Theo said and then brushed past her to step inside. Skins was right behind her.

"We are the same age, Theo. That means I know that it isn't logical for us to have it all figured out. If someone had done to me what Red did to you I don't know how I would have reacted," Skins pointed out.

"As I said, thank you for your input. Will that be all?"

"No," Skins puffed out her chest, "the girls miss you. They miss seeing you in the lower decks. They miss you being at dinner the entire length of it. They miss getting to see you more than just during your shift's rounds."

"They can come to see me, my door is always open," Theo answered.

"Captain, please, as your quartermaster, I am asking you to listen, we all miss you," Skins said then sighed a bit, "that's all. Hope to see you tonight."

Theo gave a nod, dismissing Skins. Once she was alone, she took her stuff back out onto the balcony. The only reason she had left was to cut off the conversation. She sat back down and her head fell back as she closed her eyes. She was going to go, she had already promised Kaia. But all the pushing made her want to go less. Yet, at the same time, she felt guilty for not having been around the past cycles. Obviously, she had not shut herself in completely. But she hadn't realized just how little she had interacted with her crew how moping around had affected her crew.

A knock on the balcony's door frame caused her eyes to open and she found Navi stepping out. Without asking, she took the pipe out of Theo's hands and took a few hits.

"Can I help you?" Theo asked as she reached over to where Navi had sat down and took the pipe back.

"Just coming to ask whether we want our route to be through siren's alley or through the lair," Navi settled into the seat and leaned back, closing her eyes, "not that it ever matters but you know I like to ask."

Theo felt a lump rising in her throat and it became hard to swallow. She hesitated with an answer, knowing that it did matter. It mattered more than ever. She didn't feel Riva's protection anymore, it was a gamble.

"What you say would be the safest bet?" Theo asked and that alerted something in Navi, evident in the way her eyes open and her head snapped over.

There was a crease to her brow as she frowned, "Siren alley is riskier. Shallow areas, protruding rocks. But if we are talking about our best bet to avoid creatures, alley takes the cake. Sirens are preventable. Just got to pay attention to the signs they are in proximity then you plug your ears. Kraken's lair is smooth sailing you just have to hope that fucker isn't hungry."

Theo nodded, gut sinking with every piece of information, "Siren's alley, then. I trust you can navigate us through those waters. You've done it before."

"I can do it in my sleep," Navi shrugged and her gaze on Theo stayed, "you alright, mate?"

"Fine," Theo said then stood up, "Let's get the crew trained for a possible siren encounter. Refresh them on the procedures. Make sure we have wax for ears on all ships. You know how to tell when they are close?"

"Aye."

"Good," Theo nodded, "I trust you can give the right information to the right people to get the preparations underway."

"Of course," Navi said and as Theo began walking back into her room, Navi stood up and went after her. "Can I ask you about Tuni?"

"What about her?" Theo asked as she walked to the desk and put her things away.

"How do you think she's doing?"

"I mean, you've been spending just as much time with her as I have. If you don't know, I don't either," Theo shrugged, "I am worried and if your face and tone are any indicators, you are too. But there isn't much we can do. She's just heartbroken."

"So is Mor," Navi defended, "Tuni didn't seem to have registered that fact until a few suns ago when I told her."

"You shouldn't interfere like that. Let them figure it out on their own. Being their messenger is not the best for their relationship in the long run," Theo pointed out.

"I know I shouldn't get involved but it's hard. I can see both of them misunderstanding each other's points and it just makes the situation worse," Navi said.

"I feel like you are giving too much credit to Morgana. You are acting as if she was civil about it and simply made a mistake here and there. Were you told what Morgana said?"

"I heard it from both of them..." Navi shook her head with a sigh, "I don't think it's as cut and dry as one was wrong and the other was right."

"How so?"

"Mor is not the best with words, you know this. She gets too angry or upset or emotional and fucks it up. She speaks before she thinks and usually, it's fine but not when all this pressure was straining them," Navi explained, "Tuni had a right to get hurt by the way Morgana acted, regardless of what Tuni had done. Morgana didn't understand that. She hadn't processed that she had wronged Tuni. When faced with the fact that she was hurting the person she loved, Mor got defensive instead of apologizing. Then Tuni compared her behavior to that of men in Tuni's past and it didn't make sense to Mor. She didn't understand why she was being compared to those men when all she had done was love Tuni for lengths..."

"You're saying that Morgana didn't realize she was hurting Tuni and when she did, she hurt her more," Theo pointed out, "which is fucked up."

"I know," Navi nodded, "I'm not trying to defend Morgana's actions. I know she wasn't right for a lot of the things she did or said but she was also in constant pain from being mangled during torture and her brain was constantly clouded by drugs. Which means she wasn't really seeing Tuni's side of things and when she did, she didn't know how to handle it. Mor's never hurt her like this before and she spiraled instead of handling it the right way."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I think Tuni's begun to see that with a few more suns of talking through it and working on their feelings and all of this would have passed. With time to let Morgana stop being defensive, they could have had a conversation. I think she's regretting letting Morgana go when they were so at odds," Navi crossed her arms, "which has worsened the heartbreak over the last few suns... I just wanted you to talk to her. See if you can get more out of her than I can."

"I will ask her to spend the night, see what she says," Theo sat back down, "I heard from Xyra, by the way."

Navi let a smile peek through before she neutralized her face and feigned disinterest with a shrug, "She's doing good?"

"As good as can be without work to keep her happy," Theo laughed a bit, "there was something about old ladies, drinking, and gardens that she mentioned. Said she'll be back within the cycle after we arrive in Niveal."

"Next time you write to her, tell her to bring kaer. I've run out."

"I will ask her for you," Theo laughed a bit, "there was an attack against me this morning. A coordinated one. For some reason, my senses are pointing to you being the snitch and being behind it. Were you?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, but it seems like drama so I am willing to lend an ear and be a shoulder. All that good stuff," Navi smiled and raised a brow, "so what happened?"

"You are a gossip."

"Are you going to tell me what it's about or not? Because I have to hunt some hallucinogens before the party," Navi started walking back towards the door.

"Kaia is forcing me to go to the party because she has implied I need to socialize and then Skins came in telling me the crew has been missing my presence at things," Theo said.

"And this was a coordinated, cunning, daring attack on you, how exactly?"

"They both came within minutes of each other. Both telling me I need to be out there more. Both telling me that my crew needs to see my face more," Theo scoffed.

"They're right."

"I knew it!" Theo gasped, "You are a part of it. You are with them!"

Navi laughed, "I am not. I am just agreeing with their observations. An observation, should I mention, I've already made."

"Not you too," Theo groaned, "Spare me whatever you have to say about. I've already heard it."

"Theo, I know you've gone through a lot. I know you are still going through a lot but maybe getting back to what's fun about captaining will make things a bit better."

"I'm going to the party tonight," Theo offered in hopes it would get Navi to leave her alone.

"It's not just about the party. More often than not, you aren't going to check in on the businesses. Kaia does that. Most times you aren't coming out to meet recruits on deck. Skins does that. You aren't forging the connections that you are known for."

"Noted."

"I can see you've got no problem reverting back to stubborn Theo, though. That's always a joy," Navi shrugged, "get over it."

"What?" Theo frowned and tilted her head.

"What happened with Red. Get over it. It's been four cycles. There is nothing you can do now. Just move on from it."

"I was tortured, Navi. It's not about her."

"You have been at sea for over 13 lengths. Having to deal with the aftermath of fucked up shit happening to you is nothing new," Navi shook her head, "this isn't that. If it was just about torture then you would be plastering a smile on your face and pretending everything is good."

"You are mistaken."

"You're pulling away from the happy things. From the enjoyable aspects of your job because you don't think you deserve it. You are punishing yourself for what you did to her. And in the process, you are abandoning your crew."

"You don't know what you are talking about," Theo scoffed, "I wasn't aware you had a degree in healing minds."

"I don't but I have a degree in Xyra," Navi stood up, "and you are both cut from the same cloth."

"I am nothing like Xyra."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Captain," Navi hummed as she finally walked out.

—-------
Theo made it to the top of the crow's nest in one piece. She was breathing heavily, drawing deep breaths in through her nose and exhaling through her mouth to try and fill her lungs with air. The climb to the top had been easier every time but she was still winded after the ascent. It was a joke. This was a trek she used to not even blink about. Now, it took her an hour to mentally prepare before climbing it. She couldn't have expected recovery to take so long, she wasn't used to being out of commission for cycles at a time.

She had sent the person on duty down to help with the party preparations as she relaxed, away from view, in her favorite spot on the ship. It was the only place that felt untouched and unmarred by The Center. Until they were in Niveal and could do work on the lightbringer, it wouldn't feel like her ship. It was a good thing Niveal was only a cycle away, she didn't know how much longer she could take facing the room she was kept in. She had yet to enter and it haunted her.

Loud commands drew her attention to the deck below and her eyes focused on the two people on the helm. Navi and Skins. Bastards, it was a coordinated attack. Unbelievable. Every confrontation was worse than the one before and each one faced her with new truths. All of them were right. She should have been out there with her crew, in the lower decks, attending parties, staying all of dinner. She hadn't realized the effect being a hermit would have on her crew. What was also correct was that it all stemmed from Ava. All Theo could do in the past three cycles was think of her.

When she was alone on her balcony. When she wanted to speak to someone. When she woke up. When she visited the library. When Skins reported on anything quartermaster-based. It was a never-ending stream of Red, Red, Red. Theo wondered if she was thought of. If Ava ever wondered about her. If the thought of Theo hurt her or enraged her or made her happy. It probably wasn't the latter.

Theo continued her watch as thoughts of being up in the crow's nest with Ava arose. They used to always go up there together and exchange stories and nonsense banter. To distract herself, she took the spyglass and looked at each of her ships in the fleet. Party preparations were going on across the other ships as well. Part of a new morale initiative that Skins and Kaia had concocted together was a celebration every cycle for all of the ments celebrated that cycle.

With a larger crew, they no longer had the luxury of throwing a party for each one of her crew members. The last three cycles had seen ment parties occur only every cycle and the crew loved it. They looked forward to it, it was the talk of the crew for suns leading up to it. Of course, there were other parties in between. They were pirates, there was sure to be a shindig in the lower decks every sun but this party was grander and they splurged on items from land for it too.

With four ships in the fleet and about a hundred new recruits, she figured that there were bound to be some issues arising between everyone but the conflict had been minimal. Keeping the crew happy was not as hard as she had thought. Events and efforts like the party each cycle kept everyone engaged, content, and less like they were on a grueling cross-continent journey. Of the recruits, her worry only really began when their first man had arrived.

Recruit number 41, Dal, was the first man to have ever approached her crew with full intention and excitement to join. Before that, only women and omkei had a place amongst her ranks. However, the wide-eyed dreamer from a border town in Nefriti didn't seem like a villain hellbent on making life for her crew miserable or hard. She made no fuss when he arrived on their ship. She made no comments, asked no questions, and said nothing negative. Xyra would have been proud of her tolerance.

Dal had yet to cause any problems and neither did the dozen other men she recruited. Partly because they seemed to be good-natured like most others she accepted. But also because they were kept in line with good training, an attentive quartermaster, and Kaia watching their every move. Kaia had been excellent. A combination of good training from Xyra and the ability to channel very Xyra-like lectures and pressures to be better made her almost a perfect first mate. The only reason Kaia wasn't perfect was that she wasn't Xyra, and that was no fault of her own.

Theo didn't know if it was just because Kaia was always like that or because belonging on a crew for the first time ever sparked something in her but she was less serious than tales of her portrayed. She had the ability to be serious yet had no problem flowing in and out of humor as was called for. A mixture of her two best friends, which only made her miss them more. At least she knew they were alive. They were okay. They were all going to be fine. Even Ava was doing better than expected, at least she wasn't holed up in a room.

The last time she had felt that things were alright, that they were going to be okay, she was sorely mistaken. Some hope had entered her soul when they finally figured out the rat was the person in front of them the whole time. She had managed to form a plan to derail Uncilo's idea of her at the head of the Council. She had told Ava she loved her. But one loose thread and the whole tapestry of hope had unraveled. The loose thread was herself, her anger, and her inability to see she was manipulated.

The calmness they had been experiencing made Theo uneasy. She didn't know if it was the calm before the storm or after. The weather had cooperated with them, the navy was nowhere to be seen, and they had yet to come across a town in trouble. Even her worries about having to fend off sea creatures in the absence of protection from Riva had not yet come to fruition. She suspected it was because Navi and all of the other Riva followers on her fleet were protecting them and Theo just wished that their luck didn't run out. But she knew better than to expect her wishes to come true. They were about to get to the only part of the journey where there were no alternate routes to avoid dangers. They had been there before, at the crossroads between Siren Alley and the Lair but it had never mattered. Without intervention from Riva, however, it would matter.

Her looking glass scanned the horizon once more before she glanced down at the commotion below as the sun was preparing to set. The infirmary door open and with an arm full of linens, Tuni made her way across the deck. She looked fine. She acted fine. She wasn't shying away from duties like Theo had been but something was off. Navi had noticed it too. Like an emptiness behind her eyes and a lack of enthusiasm when doing the things she normally loved, like healing. Theo couldn't pinpoint if it was because she was haunted by those that she couldn't save or because of heartbreak. Some nights, Tuni stayed with her, and others she stayed with Navi. Rarely ever sleeping on her own. It was less her choice and more that both of them kept requesting her to stay over, out of worry.

Theo wasn't upset about it though. Nights Tuni had been easier than nights she slept alone. Something about having the healer by her side made her rest free of nightmares. She fell asleep easier, deeper, and longer. On nights when she wasn't around, nightmares would slip into her mind and interrupt her sleep. Some were just memories of the lightbringer. Others were twisted versions of what happened. Vaith's face was replaced with Xyra. Instead of Morgana being hurt, it was Ava. It wasn't pleasant. She often woke up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding, and icy fear paralyzing her body. The nightmares she could handle. She had always had them, this was no different.

When she was alone, which had been quite often, she would feel her chest tighten suddenly. Feelings of impending doom and itchiness that something was coming, something bad would happen to her would flood her senses. In an agitated state, she would sometimes panic as flashbacks crossed her vision. She tried not to worry anyone about it but most of those by her side knew something was wrong. She could see it in the way they hovered some nights, waiting to ask if she was alright but forgoing it. If they did, she would just lie.

Evana had built a wonderful couch that was made up of modules that could arrange themselves in different shapes and ways. It was her own. little nook and Theo had figured out how to make it a cozy tent with some manipulation of modules and a few blankets. When the feelings of panic would arise, she would crawl into her shelter. She felt child-like. Having a small fort to protect her from the rest of the world. It had gotten her funny looks from Kaia and Navi so she had started to steal books from the library to stack inside the fort, to make the excuse that she had retired in the tent to read. Tuni never questioned it, she would often climb inside with Theo and she would wrap her arms around Theo to comfort her. Theo would sometimes read to her in Aelizan, the comforting sound of her native tongue relaxing the both of them.

Tuni stopped her trek across the deck and looked up to the crow's nest, "Theo, you should come down before the light is gone! I don't want you slipping."

Theo didn't fight it, she just began to climb down as Tuni stood and watched. Making sure that Theo actually got down and didn't get hurt.

"I'll take that for you, where does it need to go?" Theo asked and made a move to grab the linens but Tuni pulled away.

"I have had a bath drawn in your quarters. For tonight's party," Tuni jotted her chin towards Theo's room, "I was told you would be going."

Theo didn't sigh or frown or have a conniption like she wanted to. Everyone was right. She needed to get back into what it meant to be a captain. It was more than just executing her duties. It was about personal interaction and human connection. She secluded herself in part to mope and in part to punish herself for Ava. But it wasn't fair to have her crew continue to pay for actions Theo made on her own accord. Instead of a fit, she smiled.

"Aye, I'm going," Theo chuckled, "I was the victim of a coordinated attack, forcing me to come to this party."

"Oh?" Tuni tilted her head with a small smile, "do tell."

"Navi masterminded the whole thing," Theo speculated, that fact was not confirmed, "a bunch of people cornered me and told me I needed to socialize like I used to."

Tuni laughed with a shake of her head, "Dear child, Navi had nothing to do with that."

She began to walk towards the stairs into the lower decks and Theo took a second to process the implication. She gasped and followed after.

"Fortune! How could you?"

—-

"Fuck!" Theo caught her breath as she put her hands on her hips and put her forehead against the sandbag she had been fighting.

Her ribs healed for the most part but they were not all the way there yet. She had to take it slow, and the sad thing was that she was winded after truly having taken it easy.

"Can we go now?" Kaia asked from her chair in the corner of the training room.

"You didn't have to come. You never have to, yet you always do and your complaining never ceases," Theo shot back without facing her, taking deeper breaths to try and get her heart rate down.

"I'm mandated by Tuni to keep a watch on you," Kaia shrugged, "until she gives you the clearance to train alone."

"Then it is your duty to be here and you shouldn't complain," Theo finally turned around to face her.

"Xyra never complained?"

"Never," Theo chuckled and walked to her waterskin, taking a sip, "She was the perfect first mate. Always silent, never annoying. Always knew to never lecture me or give advice that wasn't asked for."

"Cooker didn't complain about her duties either?"

"Never."

"See, now I know you're lying," Kaia laughed.

Theo just shrugged with a small smirk, "If you're bored, you can join."

Kaia held up her hands, "I don't fight."

"This isn't fighting."

"I don't practice fight."

"You need to know how to defend yourself."

"I am fully aware of how to do that. I just don't work out, especially not three suns after a party as big as we had. Proper rest is important," Kaia said.

"Cap!"

A voice shouted from down the hall and Theo frowned, walking towards the door.

Navi came to a stop and entered the room, "Captain, the wind is shifting. Picking up in the opposite direction."

Sirens.