Present Day:

My alarm went off. I hit off and I woke up feeling tired. I knew I shouldn't have stayed up reading but my mom's romance books that she wrote were really interesting. Gosh, I miss her so much. My heart started to ache and tears started to form in my eyes.

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. I couldn't cry. Not here, not now. I couldn't handle any more crying. I cry every day because my life sucks. I really don't want to go to school but, I have to.

I got up and changed into a white short sleeved shirt, a black hoodie and a pair of dark blue jeans. I put on my torn up sneakers. I had my brown hair long and in my face so no one will notice me and beat me up. I got my backpack and rushed downstairs. I looked at the time and noticed I still had 20 minutes to wait for the bus.

Emma was making omelets and ny dad was in his room. The house smelt good. Emma smiled bright as she saw me.
I smiled back at her. She is so darn sweet and cheerful.

The death of my mom has been really hard. It's been hard on all of us still. She just tries to be happy and positive on the outside. On the inside, I bet she is dying and crying inside. It hurts me to see her sad and upset.

"Want some omelets?" She asked. "Sure," I answered. She made two omelets and handed one to me. We both sat down and started eating. Wow, this is really good. She has a talent for cooking.

"It's really good Emma," I said. "Really?! Oh thanks!" She replied. "So why is dad in his room still?" I asked. "He um, he passed out from drinking too much last night," Emma answered. Dissapointment and sadness overcame me.

Why does he have to drink all the time? Why can't he stop or go to rehab to stop? I know the death of my mom has been hard for him but, he doesn't have to drink his whole life away. I just don't understand why he is like this. I just wish he would stop.

Emma got done eating. We went outside and waited for our buses. We rode seperate buses since she went to a different school than me. Emma's bus arrived and she got on. She waved at me when the bus drove away.

I waved back and watched as the bus drove away. I was happy that she is happy and excited for school. I wish I could say that I was happy and excited but, I wasn't. I dreaded every day that I was at school. I wish I could be home schooled.

Finally, the bus came. I took a deep breath and put up my hoodie. I got on, went all the way to the back and took a seat. The bus started driving. I saw Celia, and Patricia take a seat next to me.

They snickered and laughed at what I was wearing. "What the hell is that?" Celia asked, snobby-like. "My clothes," I answered. "You clothes are cheap. Maybe they're so cheap because your dad spent all of his money on alcohal," Patricia added. I balled my hands into fists.

It is so hard trying not to punch them. I did punch them a few times and then I got in trouble. My dad had to come to school and everything. He is always drunk so it is so embarressing for me. That's why I need to control my anger and not punch those two bitches anymore.

"You look sad Abigal. I know why you're so sad," Celia said. "Why is she so sad?" Patricia asked. "Because your mommy died. I should feel bad but I don't," Celia replied before lauging.

I gritted ny teeth and gave them a death glare. "You don't want to mess with me," I threatened. "Are you going to hit us again?" Patricia asked. "I think she needs her mommy," Celia added. That was it!

I punched Celia in the face and in the stomach and slammed her on the bus floor. I punched Patricia in the nose and threw her over thr bus seat. The bus came to a stop. The whole bus looked shocked and scared. The bus driver came up to me.

"What happened here?" She asked, looking concerned. Celia and Patricia got up with blood all over them, crying. "They pissed me off so I beat them up," I answered honestly. The bus driver shook her head. "You have to stop beating them up," she added.

"They were being mean to me and I wasn't going to sit around and take it!" I replied angrily. "Take a seat towards the front Abigal. Patricia and Celia, you sit in the back. When we get back to the school, you are all going to the principal's office," she said. We did what she said.

She got back in her seat and started driving. A guy who looked 16 who had brown hair and wide brown eyes sat next to me. I looked at him. He gave me a friendly smile. He had on a blue hoodie, ripped up jeans and black sneakers.

"Um hello," he said shyly. "Hey, what is your name?" I asked. "Benjamin," he answered. "Well I am Abigal," I replied. "Those girls were being mean to you and you don't deserve that," he added.

"Um, I don't but, they are the least of my problems," I said. He put his hand on mine and smiled kindly at me. "You don't deserve this," he replied. "Um, I guess I don't," I added, quickly taking my hand away from his. I felt awkward and uncomfortable about him but he was the only person that has ever talked to me and said something nice so I didn't want to lose him.

"How old are you?" I asked, changing the subject. "16. How old are you?" He asked. "16 too," I answered. There was a few minutes of awkward silence as he stared at me. He stared at me like he was trying to figure me out.

"Have you been to heaven before?" He asked seriously. I felt chills go up my spine as I got really creeped out. "Um no. I'm still alive aren't I?" I asked nervously. "Sorry, I was just wondering. You look like an angel I know," he added.

Now I am seriously creeped out. What was this guy's problem? Was he in a cult? Did he want to die or something? I wish he would ask normal questions again.

"Don't you have other friends?" I asked. "No. I am alone just like you are. Don't you want to be my friend?" He asked. "Yeah I do. It's just that you're kind of creeping me out," I added honestly.

He looked away embarressed. "I'm sorry Abigal," he replied. "It's ok," I said as I smiled warmly. "I just really wanted to be your friend. You're in need of a friend right now," he added.

"Um I guess I am," I said. The bus stopped and I got up. Benjamin was gone already. Where did he go? It was like he vanished in thin air.

I went into the bus aisle and got off the bus. I went straight to the principal's office. Celia and Patricia arrived a few minutes after me. The principal arrived and he shook his head in dissapointment.

"You three again? What happened this time?" He asked, annoyed. "She hit us again!!" Celia replied. "I only hit you since you were talking bad about my dad and my dead mother you bitches!!" I angrily said. Celia and Patricia scooted farther away from me, surrendering in fear.

"In school suspension for a week for all of you trouble makers! I am going to call your parents about this!" He added angrily. "No, please don't!" I begged. "I can do as I please. Now stay here," the principal said calmly before he left.

I felt like crying right now. I never get in trouble but, when I do, it's for punching Celia or Patrica. I should've never punched them. I just had to defend my family and my mom. I couldn't let them win and get away with it.

Benjamin came in the room and took a seat next to me. "How is everything going Abigal?" He asked. "It could be better Benjamin," I answered. "Well I'm here for you," he added, smiling brightly. "Thanks," I replied.

"Who are you talking to?" Celia asked. "Benjamin," I replied. "There is no Benjamin that goes to this school," Patricia added. "Well there was but, he died," Celia replied. "What?" I asked, confused.

"Benjamin Foster was a sophomore that went to this school many years ago. He died when some bullies pushed him off the top of the school. He didn't want to die. He had his whole life ahead of him," Celia answered.

"He was one of the cutest guys here. He had brown hair, brown eyes, muscular body and the kindest smile. He was shy and really artistic. He was going to finish school and go to Art School to become an Artist. Too bad he couldn't do that," Patricia added.

"He died? Who pushed him?" I asked. "Yeah, he died. No one knows who pushed him. Everyone hated him except some girls who had a crush on him and he didn't have any friends. He kept to himself," Celia replied.

"How do you know this?" I asked. Celia pulled out an old yearbook from her backpack and opened it to the front page. It had a picture of Benjamin living and it said: We will never forget you. Good luck in heaven. She handed me the yearbook.

"This is my older sister's yearbook. She had a huge crush on him for so long. He never dated though," Celia added. "How can I trust you? You're mean to me!" I replied.

Celia sighed before she dug in her backpack for an old newspaper article. She handed it to me. I looked at it and read it. On the front page it had a disembodied, broken Benjamin on the ground. The sight was gruesome and bloody.

It read:

Benjamin Foster, a 16 year old sophomore who went to Roosevelt High was a living, artistic boy before he got pushed off the school and killed. No one knows who killed him but, police are still trying to find the killer. He didn't have any friends and he only has his brother and sister left. His parents died in a car accident in the summer of 2002. All our hopes and prayers are sent out to him.

I handed the newspaper back to Celia. Why was I seeing Benjamin if he is dead? Is he a ghost? Am I seeing things? Confusion and curiousity swirled in my head.

"Well now you know," Patricia added. "Why do you keep that?" I asked. "Because he is hot and I like to look at his hot face," Celia answered honestly. I felt disgusted at the fact that they only see him for looks and not for his bright, outgoing personality. The principal came back in.

Celia's and Patricia's parents came in and sat down. "Where's my dad?" I asked. "He said he was running a few minutes late. He will be here soon though," the principal answered. Relief rushed over me since he wasn't here to embarress me.

"Why are you girls getting in trouble all the time? Why can't you just get along?" The principal asked. "I would get along with them if they just left me alone," I answered. "Yeah, we were being a little mean but, that doesn't mean you have to be violent and crazy!" Celia commented. "You weren't just being mean!" I added angrily.

"You were being cruel and you were toying with my emotions! You would just love to see me break down and cry, wouldn't you? You would just love to see me back down and surrender! That's not going to happen ever! So, get over yourselves and leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled angrily.

"Calm down Abigal! I am sure we can straighten this out," the principal added. I sighed and crossed my arms. "Celia, Patricia, you have no In School Suspension and you are free to go to class," the principal said. They all left the room. "As for you Abigal, you still have a week of In School Suspension starting tomorrow," he added.

"WHAT!? HOW!?" I asked, outraged. "You hit them," he answered. "THEY PROVOKED ME!! You are just letting them go because they're rich!" I exclaimed.

"That's not why," he replied. "Then why is it?!" I asked, angrily. "Rules," he said. "The rules aren't fair!" I complained. He just shrugged and gave me an I told you so look.

I so wanted to hit him right now! This isn't fair! I was just defending myself! I wish I could get out of this but, there was no hope for me. There was never hope for me.

My dad came in, not too drunk and he took a seat. "Your daughter has I.S.S for beating up 2 girls," my principal said. "Ok, she deserves it," my dad added. "What?" I asked, shocked that he wasn't defending me. Tears started to form in my eyes.

"You heard me! You get yourself in trouble, you pay the price," my dad answered. He got up and left. "Get back to class now Abigal," the principal told me. I did as I was told.

I went to all my classes the rest of the day. They all went by slow. I didn't even pay attention to any of them since I was either crying in the bathroom, drawing on myself or listening to music. Finally it was the end of the day and I had to ride the bus. I got on and sat in the back.

A few guys who were older and bigger than me came up to me. One had darker hair and one had blonde hair. "Hey Miss nobody," the dark haired one said. The blonde one smiled evily at me. I scooted away from them and ignored them. Why can't they just leave me alone?

The dark haired one punched me in the stomach hard, making me lose my breath. Then, he punched me in the mouth. I hurled over in pain. The blonde one laughed before he punched me in my side. They kept punching and hitting me, making me bleed more and more.

I can't believe no one is noticing or helping. The pain hurt so bad. I screamed out for help but, no one heard me since when I screamed, I had no breath to speak. Finally, it was time to go. I hurried to my feet, coughing up blood.

I got off the bus as fast as I could. I fell to my knees and started crying. The pain hurt so bad. Every part of my body ached and burned. I couldn't keep living life like this.

Blood was pouring off of me and I wiped it off. I sat there and cried more. Why were they so mean to me? Why couldn't they just leave me alone?

I finally got up and ran to my room. I shut the door and collapsed on my bed, crying harder and heavier. I cried until there was no tears left to cry. I cried until I sank into a deep depression. I cried until I felt nothing anymore.

I stared at the darkness around my room. I just sat here, staring at the dark emptiness for hours. My door opened and the lights turned on. Emma came in. She had concern and sympathy on her face.

"Another bad day?" She asked. I nodded my head yes. She shut the door and came over to me. She looked at all my bruises and scratches. She saw that I was bleeding and in pain.

"May I do something to help?" She asked. "Um no. I'm fine. I just don't want to be touched. It hurts still," I answered.

"Why don't you just leave that school?" She asked. "Dad won't let me. You know how hard it is to convince him these days," I replied. She nodded her head in agreement. "Anyways I might just get some rest or something," I added.

"Well don't sleep too long. You still have dinner to eat," she added. "Ok well, bye and love you," I replied. "Love you too sister," she said. She waved bye, shut my door and left.

I looked over and there was Benjamin. I jumped and got spooked at the sight of him. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be dead. Maybe I was imagining him.

"I need to tell you a few things," he said. "You aren't real! You're dead!" I exclaimed. He looked hurt at what I just said. "I need to tell you some things," he replied.

"Well you better do so now or never," I added. "Well I did die. I am an angel that was sent to you from heaven. It is my job to provide you with as much help as I can. I am here to try and protect you to the best of my ability," he explained.

"Well you're bad at it then. You didn't help me when those guys beat me up!" I replied, angrily. "I can only protect you if I am not physically harming someone. I couldn't beat up anyone that hurt you, even if I wanted to. I am only here to guide you," he added.

I started crying since the pain from earlier worsened. Benjamin came up to me and put his hand on my side, where it hurt. All of a sudden, my pain went away. I looked at him wide eyed. He smiled at me and guided his hand over to my head.

I smiled warmly at him and moved his hand to my stomach. It was a miracle! It was as if his hands had the ability to heal. All my pains went away and I felt much better. I got up and hugged him.

He hugged me back. We hugged for a few minutes and then I let go. "Sorry. I hope that wasn't weird," I said. "Not at all," he said as he smiled genuinely at me.

I sat back down on my bed and he sat next to me. "So how is it that I can only see you," I asked. "I am your guardian angel. I am here to guide you and only you at the moment. When I am done guiding you, I will guide someone else," he answered.

I took a deep breath before I said what was on my mind. "Did you see my mom in heaven?" I asked. "Yes, I have," he answered. My eyes lit up with happiness. "Really?" I asked. "Yes, she plays piano up there with a few other people too," he answered.

A few tears trickled down my cheek. Sadness and longing filled in my heart. I would do anything to see her again. I guess I just have to wait until I die and go to heaven. Our conversation reminded me of a memory I have of her..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I am so excited to eat brownies!" I said in excitement. "After dinner though. I don't want you ruining your appetite," my mom replied. I giggled. The oven timer went off.

I went over to the oven and shut it off. I grabbed the oven mitts and took out the brownies. I set them on the counter to cool. They smelt chocolatey and delicous. I shut the oven and took off the oven mitts.

"Mmm, they smell good!" My mom exclaimed. "Yes they do!" I replied. My dad came through the door with Emma. She was 4 at the time and I was 7. They just got back from the park.

My dad set Emma down and came over to my mom. They kissed a few times before they pulled away. "EWW!!" I said. "It is not ew! Love is a beautiful thing when you have someone to love and care for," my mom replied.

Emma hugged me and I hugged her back. I smiled and tickled her. She giggled and laughed. She is so cheerful and playful. She took out this drawing she had and showed me it.

It is a picture of us as a whole family. "Can you pwetty pwease put it on the fwidge for me?" She asked in am adorable,cute voice. How could I say no when she does that? I put it on the fridge and mom and dad noticed it.

"Great drawing Emma!" My mom complimented. "It is a really pretty drawing," my dad said. Emma beamed with happiness. I loved when she is happy. When she is happy, I usually am happy.

Later that night when we were getting ready for bed, Emma and I snuggled under our blankets. We shared a room but, we didn't mind since it brought us closer together. My mom walked by our room. She smiled kindly at us.

"Want to hear a bedtime story before bedtime?" She asked. "YES!" Emma and I answered excitedly, at the same time. "Is it ok if I made it up?" She asked. "Yeah," I answered. She cleared her throat before she started.

"Far, far away in a beautiful kingdom there lived a handsome king, a pretty queen and their two beautiful princesses. One day, a big, mean dragon came in and tried to harm them. The dragon was defeated by the family. The town cheered and celebrated. They just wondered how they defeated the dragon,"

"They defeated the dragon with their strong love. They had a bond so strong that no one could break them apart. Evil could let them not see one another but, they were always together at heart. No matter what happened, they were always together," my mom finished. She smiled warmly at us.

"That was a great story mom," I replied as I yawned. "Yep, it was. Anyways I better let you get to bed," she added. I looked over to Emma and she was sleeping away. "Ok then," I said.

"I love you Abigal," she added. "I love you too mom," I answered. She shut the light off and left the door open a little. I smiled and closed my eyes. I went to bed having good dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Abigal?" Benjamin asked, snapping me back into reality. "Sorry I was just thinking about something," I replied. "Like about your mom?" He asked. "Yeah. I just wish I can figure out the mystery of her death," I added.

"You will when the time is right," he said. "How do you know?" I asked. "You are a determined, smart, successful girl. I'm sure yoy will when you're ready," he answered. "I am ready now though," I added.

"Not yet but soon," he said. "Um ok then," I replied. My sister opened my door. Benjamin vanished. "It's time to eat dinner," she informed me.

"Is dad coming out of his room to eat?" I asked. "No, he said he wants to be left alone in his room," Emma answered. "He always wants to be left alone in his room!" I added angrily. "He said we shouldn't bother him!" Emma warned. "Enough is enough!" I added.

Anger and frusturation rose inside me. I am so so sick of him sitting in his room, drinking his damn life away! His daughters need him and he doesn't see that! I know mom's death was hard but he doesn't have to drink his pain away! He needs to get some tough love!

I rushed past Emma and to mom and dad's room. I impatiently knocked on the door a few times. "Get out!" My dad said. "No!" I replied angrily.

Emma tugged on my arm to make me leave him alone. "Let's not bother him," she said with panic in her voice. "I have this," I said as I looked her deeply in the eyes. She let go of me, trusting me. I opened the door and went inside.

My dad was sitting on the floor drinking a whiskey straight from the bottle while looking at photographs of mom, crying. He looked sad, upset and heartbroken. "Dad, we need to talk," I said. "About what?" he asked. He took another sip of whiskey.

I slowly took the whiskey away and set it on the desk. He wasn't drunk yet so, it was good that I took it away from him. He just started breaking down and crying more. Emma and I came over to him to comfort him. I felt so bad for him.

"Dad, it'll be ok. We can get through this together," I said, trying to be reasuring. "You don't have to drink her memory away," Emma said. "I am so sorry girls! It has just been so hard without your mother!" He wailed.
Emma and I started tearing up. "It will be ok," Emma added. "Your mom probably thinks I am such a dissapointment. I should've never started drinking! I am so sorry!!" He added, crying more.

Emma and I hugged him for a long time. We let go and he wiped his tears away. "From now on, I am not drinking anymore. I am going to go to rehab and get my life together! I'm going to be here for you girls!" He declared.

Emma and I both beamed with happiness. We hugged him again and let go. We got up and we all went downstairs and ate macaroni and cheese that Emma made. We talked about memories of mom and all the great things we did together. We laughed and smiled the whole night.

It was almost time for bed so we hugged dad and brushed our teeth. Emma and I had seperate rooms. Which I think is great since she goes to bed right away and I stay up late sometimes. I went into my room, shut the door and laid on my comfy, soft bed.

I can't believe this is actually happening! My dad is actually going to rehab for being an alcohalic for so many years! I feel kind of angry at him for wasting all those years, being drunk. I am mostly just overjoyed that he is going to be better and that he is getting help!! I am so overjoyed and excited!!

I smiled to myself as good thoughts crossed my mind. I yawned and stretched. I got comforable and snuggled with my soft blankets. I let tiredness and exhauastion invade me. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.