Ever since kindergarten, I've hated the first day of school. There were always old cliques, new cliques, and even some that had mixed together over the summer. People tended to judge you based on how much your fashion sense changed over the break. Or hasn't changed.

Things that were once popular weren't anymore and vice versa. If you didn't catch on to what was 'in' then you were seen as a pariah. It was so frustrating when you added all that superficial shit on top of studying and extracurriculars.

I was hoping that since this was my senior year, that it was going to be a little less awkward. With it being the last first day of a school year consisting of studying and trying to memorize my damn locker combination, the awkwardness would be way less.

I thought wrong. It's been two weeks since the secret date at the carnival with Nathan. Two weeks of me half regretting what I said to him, and the other half wishing I had kissed him and told him exactly how I felt and what I really wanted.

What he did for me on that date had been so romantic and thoughtful. So not Nathan Jenkins.

Or was it? The way he kissed me on that Ferris Wheel made me feel things. Some of those things were good and thing I'd never felt before. But I also felt fear.

When I got home after the date that night, I hid from my parents in my room and cried. I argued with myself, going back and forth about whether or not it actually could have been the real Nathan. Maybe he had changed. Maybe I shouldn't have been so scared to give him a chance. But it was hard to forget who he's been for the last six years or so.

Over those past two weeks, I expected him to show up at my window again, but there had been no sign of him. Even when I went over to Lanie's, he was never there. That wouldn't have bothered me a few months ago. I wouldn't have wondered if he was out screwing some Happy Meal or just avoiding me.

But now wasn't a few months ago, was it? Now was me unable to accept the fact that I may have made a huge mistake that night after the carnival. But now it was two weeks later and here I was walking around campus with that feeling.

You know the one where you get that fluttering in your stomach and a lump in your throat. Palms so sweaty you that you have to keep rubbing them against your pants. It was Nathan's senior year, too. He was going to be here and I knew we were going to end up passing each other in the hall or seeing each other during lunch. There was no way to avoid that.

Shit. I hope we didn't have a class together. That wouldn't be a good thing. And it wasn't because Nathan would be staring at me from across the classroom, reminding me of what it felt like to be kissed by him and held by him. It would be because I would probably be doing that.

To say that I had it bad for him was an understatement. I missed feeling his lips on mine. God, that boy kissed me like he would die if he didn't. I also missed the way my body shivered every time he called me gorgeous.

I just missed him. It was too late now, and it was all my fault. He tried to open himself up to me and I blew it. I got scared and pathetic and pushed him away. I probably pushed him so far away that he decided to transfer to a different school because WHERE THE HELL WAS HE?

"Hey, Karma! Over here!"

I looked to the right and waved when I saw my study buddy that I've been close friends with since freshman year. "Hey, Mike!"

He jogged over to me, and we started walking side by side to my locker. "How was your summer, Fitz?"

When we first met, he thought my name was odd. So he came up with the nickname Fitz. An abbreviation from my last name.

"My summer was...good. How about yours? You and Gisel have a good time on your trip?"

I twisted the dial on the lock multiple times. God, my memory was horrible when it came to memorizing stuff like this.

Mike leaned his shoulder against his locker which was next to mine. "Wait a minute. Good? Your summer was good? There is so much hidden underneath that word, Fitz. You gotta tell me everything."

When I cursed under my breath because I couldn't get my locker open, he lightly pushed me aside. "I got it. You never remember your combo."

With a few twists of the dial, the lock opened.

"Spill. What happened?"

Reaching inside, I grabbed my calculous textbook. "Nothing happened, Mike. I went to the beach with the girls and that's it. Well, we did go to a night club with some fake IDs. That was fun. And nerve wracking."

For so many other reasons I'm not mentioning...

"That's not all and you know it."

I checked my appearance in the little mirror I kept in my locker before closing it. "Fine. Maybe something happened." Okay, that was a huge understatement. "But now isn't the time and school definitely isn't the place."

Mike fell in step beside me as we walked towards our class we had together. "Wanna go to Lloyd's after school? We can get some ice cream. Talk." Heavy sigh from my friend before he said, "You aren't the only one who has some stuff they want to get off their chest regarding summer."

I inwardly cringed. "You and Gisel?"

Mike and Gisel had met when he was a freshman. Gisel was a sophomore. They fell in love and dated for three years. They seemed like the ultimate high school sweethearts. Problem was...Gisel was now a freshman in college and Mike was a senior.

They took a road trip around the US over summer break to spend time together. During one of our talks, Mike said that he was going to be supportive, and they had talked through all his worries. Clearly everything wasn't okay.

"Yeah," he said. "I guess I can use a distraction later. What about you?"

Considering everything going on in my head right now... "Absolutely. Lloyd's after school it is. I'll meet you outside my last class."

***

Not a single sighting. I was currently walking into sixth period, and I hadn't seen Nathan all day.

I was tempted to ask Lanie and Harper if they'd seen him when I sat with them at lunch, but I didn't want to risk it. Not when Lanie was eyeing me suspiciously every time my eyes scanned the cafeteria for a certain tall, hot, and sexy senior.

Forgetting what I said earlier, I was actually hoping he would be in one of my classes. But as I walked into each one today and saw no sign of him, I got a little more depressed. Mike was in a couple of my classes and could tell something was bothering me. Boy, we were going to have a big talk at Lloyd's after school.

"Good afternoon, Karma," my photography teacher said when I entered her classroom.

I offered her a smile I didn't quite feel and took my seat in the middle row. "Good afternoon, Ms. D'Agostino."

Since I was early, I pulled my notebook out of my bag and started doodling. The door to the classroom opened and closed multiple times, students coming in and finding a seat. By the time I ran out of room to draw on the page I used, the bell rang. I leaned back in my chair with a heavy sigh.

"Okay, guys. For those of you who don't know, I'm Ms. D'Agostino and this is-"

The door opened suddenly and-holy shit.

"Sorry I'm late. This was a last minute add on class."

Ms. D eyed him skeptically. "May I see your class schedule?"

My eyes were glued to Nathan as he handed over his class schedule. He was here. In my class. But why? He wasn't into photography.

"Okay, Nathan," Ms. D said. "Welcome to the class. Go ahead and find a seat."

"I go by Nate, actually."

Ms. D nodded. "Got it, Nate."

In an attempt to hide from him, I slouched down as far as I could in my seat and tried to cover my face with my hand. It was no use. He came straight to the empty chair beside mine and sat down.

The urge to turn my head and look at him was nearly unbearable. But somehow, I was able to do it. Thank God. I may have been incessantly looking for him around school today, but this was different. He was here. No doubt this was on purpose to torture me.

"Hey, gorgeous."

There was that shiver again.

"You gonna look at me or what?"

Don't do it. Don't do it. I faced him. "What are you doing here, Nathan?"

And why did he have to be so fucking good looking?

He gestured to the front of the class where Ms. D was talking about what we could expect to be doing this year. "I'm here to learn about photography."

"Yeah, right."

He ran a hand through his hair and did that cocky half smile that I loved and hated at the same time. "Fine. You wanna know the real reason I'm in this class? You are, gorgeous. It's been two weeks and I tried to honor what you said. But then I was like...this is bullshit. I want you. I. Want. You. And I felt how much you want to be with me that night I kissed you on the Ferris wheel. I felt it. So, I'm here, my beautiful Karma, to fight for you."

Everything he said replayed in my head multiple times, and I got that feeling again. My heart started beating faster. Palms started sweating. All that jazz. And he was waiting for me to say something. But I had no idea what to say. My brain seemed to be buffering or something because I was unable to form words.

When I tried to say something, all that came out was, "I'm not yours."

Nathan's face turned serious, and he leaned towards me. And when he reached put to brush my hair out of my face, I sucked in a sharp breath.

"You are mine, Karma. And I'm yours. You just won't let yourself believe it."

Before I could say anything back, Ms. D. tapped her desk hard. "Guys, I know it's the first day of class and you all are pissed to be here, but can we please pay attention?"

Nathan and I both stayed quiet for the rest of the class. When it was finally over, I never packed my stuff up so quickly. Nathan's words still bounced around in my head and I wasn't ready to deal with it just yet.

"We need to talk about this."

Grabbing my bookbag, I slung it over my shoulder and started for the door. "I can't right now."

He followed me outside, just like I knew he would. "Stop running away from me, Karma."

I stopped just before I got to my locker. After a brief pause, I turned around. "What do you want me to say, Nathan?"

Just as he opened his mouth to answer me, Mike walked up. "Hey, Fitz. Everything cool?" He eyed Nathan skeptically. And for good reason. Mike was one of my best friends and, even though Nathan had no idea who he was, Mike knew who Nathan was.

"Yeah," I answered while holding Nathan's gaze. "Everything's cool."

"Ready to go to Lloyd's?"

I saw the questions in Nathan's eyes. He wanted to know who Mike was and I knew he suspected it was more than a friendship. Even though everything with Mike was purely platonic, I needed some time to think before dealing with this.

"I'll drive," I said to Mike before dropping my gaze from the boy I had it so, so bad for. "We'll talk later. Goodbye, Nathan."

***

What did we think about the first chapter about Part 2? I am so excited to explore their relationship more. Writing out everything they went through when they were seniors just makes me love and appreciate them more in their later book. So glad I decided to write this!

Let me know what you think about Heartstrings and Karma's new friend! Next chapter will be up Thursday!

xoxo

🖤