"Are you sure there isn't anything wrong?"

For the tenth time... "Yes, I'm fine. Why do you keep asking me that?" 

My mom was perched on the side of my bed, arms crossed with an eyebrow raised. "I'm your mother, Nathan Jenkins, and I know when you aren't acting like yourself." 

Maybe I wasn't acting like myself. Or maybe this was actually the real me. What if the girl-chasing Nate Jenkins everyone saw was just a facade that I unintentionally showed the world? Ever since I developed an interest in Karma, I've started to change. 

I didn't want to just get her into bed and then move on to the next girl. Fuck, I wasn't even looking at any other girls. Just Karma. It was all Karma. But she put the brakes on that last night, didn't she? 

"I promise I'm fine, mom." Nowhere near it, actually. "You have nothing to worry about." 

"Are you sure about that, Nate? You've been hanging around the girls an awful lot lately." 

My blood ran cold at her tone. I looked over at her from where I was standing by the dresser and waited for her to say it. To say her name. 

"I like Karma, Nate. A lot. You're my son and I love you, but I refuse to see her treated like one of those—"

"It's not like that," I said quickly. 

My mom didn't look convinced. "So, you aren't trying to hook up with her, Nate?" 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to Karma that way, but I had no intention of 'hooking up' with her. She deserved way better than that. Way better than me. Christ, what the hell have I been thinking?

With a heavy sigh I said, "She isn't like those other girls, mom. I would never treat her that way."

"Are you trying to tell me that you have feelings for her?"

Feelings. That word never seemed more important than any other. But now it meant everything. Dammit, she meant everything. 

"Doesn't matter if I do, mom. She made it pretty clear last night that she isn't interested in me." 

On the other hand, what happened yesterday morning told me something entirely different. Which only made me even more confused. Wait a minute... Since when did I become the damn girl in this situation? Here I was, pining after a girl that I had no business pining after in the first place. One that told me nothing was going to happen. 

My mom got up from the bed and met my stare. "I don't know what's going on with you two, but I can tell she feels something for you, Nate." When I stayed silent, she added, "Did it ever occur to you that she might have put some distance between you guys because of her loyalty to your sister?"

Actually, it hadn't occurred to me that that could be the reason.

"You'll figure this out," she said matter-of-factly. "Now don't forget we're leaving to go to the airport in one hour. Make sure you pack up everything." 

"I will, mom. Thanks." 

When she left my room, I just stood there and tried to process what she said. It made sense that Karma would put her friendship with Lanie first if that was the case. But something told me that wasn't all of it. 

Determined to get to the bottom of this, I walked towards my door. If she honestly had no interest in me, then I'll move on and go back to the same old Nate that everyone knew and loathed. But if there was any hint that she did want me...well, that was going to be a different story. 

After making sure the coast was clear, I walked to Karma's room. I noticed the door was cracked and pushed it open. What I saw next was not what I was expecting. 

She was sitting on the side of the bed, head buried in her hands as she cried. It could only be one thing that made her so upset. Her parents. My frustration and irritation in regard to this thing with Karma disappeared as I heard her sob. 

Shutting her door behind me, I walked over to her and knelt down in front of her. 

"What wrong, Karma? Talk to me." 

It took a few more tires and a little more coaxing, but she finally lowered her hands and let the tears fall. "I'm disappointing them, Nathan. God. She is so mad at me because I missed that tour." 

"She'll understand. Just give her some time. Your mom just wants—"

"If you say she wants what's best for me, Nathan, I'm going to scream." 

I held up my hands defensively. "Got it. I'm sorry. I'm just saying...she loves you. I'm sure this will blow over and everything will get back to normal."

She stared at me as she processed what I said. There was so much pain in her eyes. Pain and something else I couldn't name. Shit, I would pay good money to know what she was thinking right now. I wanted to help her—to make her feel better. Even if it was only for a little bit. 

But I had no idea how to do that without saying something I probably shouldn't. Or holding her. Man, I had the biggest urge to hold her right now. 

What the hell is wrong with me? I wish I could at least do what I came in here to do and find out if she really felt anything for me, but I wasn't stupid. Knowing now wasn't the time to ask her about 'us', I rose to my feet and cleared my throat before taking a step back. 

"I'm gonna go finish packing. We have to leave soon." 

I started for the door, only to be stopped by the sound of her voice. 

"Nathan, wait. Please." 

Why was I so weak for this woman? I already knew the answer, didn't I? Feelings. Fucking feelings were the reason I was turning back around to face her. 

"I know you hate me now after what happened on the beach," she whispered. "And I know that I haven't been fair to you, and I've been so back and forth with my...emotions. But no one else knows what's going on with me and I just..."

When she trailed off, the truth hit me like a freight train. I knew exactly what she needed but was too ashamed to ask for. Okay, maybe not ashamed, but she was definitely too scared to ask for it. 

Walking up to her, I cupped her face in my hands. Her eyelids slid shut as I wiped her tears away. Her sigh of relief caused a pain in my chest that I was unfamiliar with—and it only magnified when I pulled her into my arms and hugged her. 

"It's okay. I've got you, Karma." 

She squeezed me tight and buried her face into my chest. "How do you know that, Nathan? How do you know it's going to be okay?"

Honestly, I wasn't sure how this was all going to go or if it was going to be okay. I just wanted to comfort her. Somehow, someway. 

"Come here," I murmured, taking her hand and leading her to the bed. 

Thankfully she didn't argue when I stretched out on the blanket and held my arms open to her. And she didn't even hesitate to climb into the bed beside me and rest her head on my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I stroked her hair. 

We laid in the quiet space of her bedroom for what felt like hours and hours. But it couldn't have been more than few minutes. 

"I've never done this before." The words slipped out before I could stop them. 

"Never done what?" 

"This." I squeezed her tighter against me. "I've never held a girl like this. No one except you." 

Karma was quiet for several minutes before she spoke. "I've never been held like this before. So, I guess it's a first for both of us." 

Firsts. That was something else that scared the hell out of me. Everything I felt and did with Karma was a first. Sure, I had a promiscuous past, but this was different. Even if we never did more than this, she was still a first for me. 

Even something as small as kissing Karma. I've never felt anything like that before. Whenever I kissed those other girls—Happy Meals, as Lanie and Harper liked to call them—it was always like a muscle memory type of thing. Mechanical and emotionless. But it wasn't like that with Karma.

Karma was all passion and heat.  

"Feeling better?" 

"A little. Thank you."

"Anytime," I breathed and meant it. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now." 

She tilted her head back to meet my gaze. "You know this doesn't change anything between us, right? There can't be a Nathan and Karma." 

"I know. What happens in Florida stays in Florida. I promise." With a smile I stroked her cheek, brushing my thumb over her bottom lip. If Florida was the only place I could have this little piece of Karma, then I wasn't going to waste it. "Kiss me, gorgeous." 

And she did. 

***

I loved writing this chapter! Hope you did too!

So, I wanted to update you guys and remind you that Heartstrings is a 3-part story. Each part will consist of roughly 30 chapters. Part 2 begins when school starts and ends on winter break. 7 chapters away! I'm so excited to start Part 2. And don't worry, there won't be a wait for it to be posted. 

xoxo

🖤