When it came to waking up in the morning, I've experienced it many ways. I've had mornings where it felt like I was yanked out of a dream or I woke up in a sweat when I had a nightmare. Also there was the groggy lack of sleep mornings where I would keep hitting snooze and buried my head under my pillow. 

But I've never once been woken up by a guy I was seriously into stroking my hair. 

"Good morning, gorgeous." 

I looked up at him with a drowsy smile. "What are you doing in here, Nathan? What if Lanie or Harper came in?" 

"Give me some credit, Karma. I locked the door." He was stretched out next to me, resting his head on his hand like that day at the beach. "How did you sleep," he asked softly. 

The memory of our kiss came to mind and I blushed like an idiot. "I slept pretty good. You?" 

"Same. Although I have to say it wasn't as good as the night you ended up in my bed." 

I really wish I remembered that. Not knowing how I was feeling—besides hammered—that night ate at me. How did it feel having someone hold me while I slept? I guess I wouldn't know. 

"So what are you doing in here? Watching me sleep like a creeper," I teased. 

"Hardly. I wanted to check on you before you avoided me all day." His gaze was serious. "How do you feel about what happened last night?" 

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly. "I mean...for our first kiss it was very enjoyable. And intense. How do you feel about it?" 

"You know how I feel," he murmured. "If Lanie hadn't interrupted us, then I would have kept kissing you. And kissing you...and kissing you." 

I didn't doubt that. And one other thing that worried me was how skilled he was at it. Now that I'm looking back on it, he's probably kissed hundreds of women. He said I wasn't like those other girls, and I wasn't. I was nothing like them. 

But did he really mean it when he said I was different to him? That was my main concern. 

When he didn't say anything more I asked, "What are you thinking about?" 

"I'm thinking about how much you want me to kiss you again." 

With a short laugh I asked, "How did I give you the impression that I wanted you to kiss me again?"

Nathan's smug expression stayed in place. "You called it our first kiss."

"So?"

"So...'first' implies that there will be a second. And a third. And a fourth. You see how that works? It's basic math."

"You are unbelievable."

"Aw, Karma, you say the sweetest things." He leaned in a little closer to me and brushed the hair out of my face. "You know, gorgeous, you're pretty unbelievable yourself." 

I shook my head and gently pushed at his chest. "Will you please get out of here? I need to get up and get dressed and I really don't want you in here when Lanie comes to my room." 

Every morning Lanie came to my room when she got up to plan our day of activities. 

"Fine," he groaned and rolled off the bed. "I'll leave on one condition. I'm hanging with my dad for most of the day. Meet me on the beach tonight? So we can, you know, talk and stuff." 

We did need to talk about what happened. There were a lot of things that needed to be said and questions that needed to be answered. 

"I'll be there," I promised. 

Once he left the room, I laid in my bed for several minutes. I put my fingers to my lips as I recalled the kiss. I still felt him. I felt him everywhere. But as much as I enjoyed the kiss, there was a lot of things we needed to deal with first. 

Suddenly there was a knock at my door. Thinking it was Nathan again, I frowned and got up from the bed. 

"That better not be you again," I muttered before opening the door. 

And saw Lanie. 

"Better not be who?" 

Shit. "Huh? Oh, no one. How are you feeling?" 

Luckily she seemed to buy it. "Better today. That's why I'm here actually. I just wanted to say thank you for staying home to take care of me last night. I know Harper went out and you could have went with her. I really appreciate it, Karma."

My stomach dropped and guilt overrode everything I had been feeling earlier. Kissing Nathan was off limits to begin with. The fact that my best friend thought I spend last night at home to take care of her made me feel selfish. 

"Anytime, Lanie," I said softly. "I'm glad you're feeling better." 

It was good that Nathan wanted to talk tonight. This wake-up call with Lanie reminded me of what I needed to do. But was I really going to be able to tell Nathan that this couldn't happen again to his face? Was I going to be able to lie to him and tell him that I didn't want him? 

***

After a long and stressful day with the girls, here I was. Well, the girls didn't stress me out. It was every thing else.

But I kept my word to Nathan and I didn't run or avoid him.

Anxious and unsure, I stood in the surf on the beach, wrapping my arms around myself as the water washed over my bare feet. There was something about staring at the waves that calmed me. Maybe the sound of the waves mixed with the soft jazz music that was being played by a saxophonist down the beach on the pier is what did the trick. Whatever it was, it was helping.

First, this whole college thing was stressing me out. I already felt sick at the thought of leaving my closest friends if I went to USF. Then there was Nathan. We shouldn't have danced together at the club. I should have pushed him away as soon as I realized who he was. But instead I pulled him closer and pressed my body against his. 

More importantly, I never should have flirted and allowed myself to develop feelings for him. And we never should have kissed. I already felt a little guilty when it happened. Then Lanie came by this morning all appreciative and best friend-like and that made it worse. 

"Hey, gorgeous." 

Instead of turning towards him, I kept my eyes on the water. "Hey." 

"What's wrong?" he asked in a concerned tone when he stopped beside me. 

"That's another loaded question, Nathan." 

"Karma, what's going on? I thought we were good this morning. I thought that we were kinda moving in the right direction."

I knew what I needed to say. But it was so not what I wanted to say to him. This was way harder than I thought it was going to be. Especially with him standing so close to me and smelling all like Nathan. 

"Maybe you should go back inside." 

Yeah. That was a good idea. Then we could talk later when I could think more clearly. 

But he didn't go inside. Even worse, I could still feel his eyes on me, studying my reactions and emotions.

"I don't want to go inside. I would rather spend time with you." 

His words affected me more than I wanted them to. Dammit. Why did I want him so much? I spent the entire day today thinking about what I was going to say to him. I weighed the pros and cons, hoping that would help me. But none of that did. 

"Look at me," he whispered.

My body responded before my common sense could tell me it was a bad idea and I turned towards him. I saw that same heated look in his eyes now as I did that night in the club and when he kissed me.

"Dance with me, Karma."

The sound of his voice made my body shiver in all the wrong places. God, I wanted to dance with so badly.

"I can't," I breathed, more to myself than him. "We can't."

"Sure we can."

Without his body brushing against mine—and fuck did I want his body against mine—Nathan leaned forward and put his lips to my ear.

"We've already done it once, gorgeous. And I know you enjoyed it just as much as I did."

He was right about that. I did enjoy it just as much as he did. Maybe even more so. That was the problem. But apparently that didn't matter right now. Once again my brain left to go on vacation and I found myself placing my hand in the one Nathan held out to me.

"Good girl," he murmured.

He lifted my hands and wound them around his neck. I felt his hands at my waist when pulled my body against his. Being this close to Nathan Jenkins wasn't a good thing. Not good at all. Nope. I should just walk away and—

"You need to relax, Karma."

My eyes were everywhere but on him as we moved our bodies to the soft sounds of the sax player. "What makes you think I'm not relaxed?"

"I can almost hear your thoughts going a mile a minute. You need to breathe. Hey. Look in my eyes." My eyes acted of their own free will again and flicked up to meet his. "I told you," he whispered, "I got you, Karma." 

His gaze was soft and comforting. Something that I didn't usually see when I looked at him. But that wasn't all that was in his gaze. And that little extra scared me.

"What do you want from me, Nathan?" 

"Isn't it obvious, Karma? I want you. I want to be with you."

I heard the words but they didn't register. Not really. It just didn't make sense that he would want me.

My own selfish needs got the best of me and my eyes dropped to his lips. I remembered all too well what it felt like to brush my mine against his. And I wanted to feel that again.

Nathan must be a mind reader, because a second later he was kissing me with just as much passion as he did last night.

I couldn't stop a little moan from climbing up my throat because it felt so fucking good. He felt so fucking good. But it wasn't like I had anything to compare it to. This was not only my second kiss with Nathan, but my second ever. 

That little fact was like a bucket of cold water being poured on me, making me realize that we just crossed the line. Again. What if it happened a third time? There may not be any turning back after that. 

I pulled away from the enchantment of his kiss before I got even more lost in it.

"Karma..." he said in warning. Like he knew what I was going to say. 

"This never happened," I said sharply.

"Don't do this. We can't pretend that this didn't happen."

"We can and we will." My voice was pleading and desperate. His sister was my best friend and this felt like a betrayal. "Nathan, you can't tell anyone. And this can't happen again."

Without waiting for him to respond, I turned away and walked back to the hotel. After the good morning we had, this was definitely a not so good night. There was no other option, though. This is the wat it needed to be. 

***

Hey all! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm also working on Falling Into Place. With my work load I've been having some writer's block for that story lol fingers crossed!

Xoxo

🖤