With everything that happened yesterday, and with Nathan disappearing today, I was in desperate need of some alone time. Hence the reason I was currently entering the pool area of the hotel and shutting the gate behind me. The fact that this hotel had a hot tub was an added bonus.

After I laid my towel on the chair, I walked towards the steaming water. It called to me, beckoning me to it with silent promises of relaxation and worry-free minutes. Both of which I was looking forward to. Placing my hand on the silver rail, I stepped into it.

I sank down and sat on the cement bench so the water was up to my neck. "This is what bliss feels like,"

Thankfully Harper and Lanie were already asleep. If they weren't, then I would've had to sneak out to come here alone. God, that sounded horrible. I should be spending more time with them, not less.

We did spend the day together, however. After a late brunch, Lanie, Harper, and I came down to the pool and worked on our tans. Harper went on and on about the boy she hit it off with yesterday. Jake, I think his name was.

Lanie listened, offering her opinion when necessary. I tried to participate, but my mind was still reeling over the awkwardness between Nathan and I during that whole volleyball thing. And I kept expecting him to show up at the pool or something. But I hadn't seen him at all today.

It wasn't that I wanted to see him. It just went to prove that I was right and he was only looking to—

"Hey, gorgeous."

My eyelids flew open. Nathan stood by the steps wearing only a black pair of swim shorts. God, he looked good. Why did he have to look so good?

"I told you not to call me that."

"Yeah, you did. But I very much enjoy calling you that." Nathan gestured to the hot tub. "May I join you?"

"I don't really think my answer matters. You're going to come in regardless."

"You don't gotta be so surly about it."

"You don't have to be so...so Nathan," I said lamely.

With an amused snort, he entered the water. "Who should I be then if not myself?"

"I hardly think you've been yourself lately."

"I can say the same for you," he shot back.

That made me pause for a moment. He was right. Keeping secrets from my best friends and suddenly staring at Nathan's chest all the time was definitely not the Karma Fitzgerald I used to be. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

"You don't know me, Nathan. Not really."

He was across from me in the hot tub, arms stretched out along the sides. Showing off that damn chest. And those broad shoulders.

"Well, I think I do know you. But just for fun, why don't we do a little game of twenty questions?"

The sensible part of me knew not to give in to his games. Especially after yesterday at the beach. I was more convinced than ever that I was nothing more than some conquest to him. A literal game.

Just say no, Karma.

"Ten questions," I said without thinking. Why am I negotiating this?

"Fifteen," he countered.

"Fine." Whatever. "You go first."

"We need to make an agreement that we're going to be completely honest with our answers. And we can ask each other anything."

Well that sounded risky. But whatever. I already agreed to play this stupid game. "Okay, Nathan. I promise to be honest."

A satisfied smile stretched across his face. "I guess I'll start with an easy one. Are you really interested in that guy who was hitting on you yesterday?"

Shit. I knew this was a bad idea. And even worse, I tended to keep my promises, which meant I needed to answer honestly. "No, I'm not interested in him. My turn. Were you interested in that girl you were macking all over yesterday?"

"Careful, Karma. You almost sound jealous. And no, I wasn't interested in her."

Yeah, right, I thought. The way Nathan let her hang all over him implied the opposite. Shit. I did sound jealous.

"Your turn," he urged me when I remained silent.

I tried to think of something, anything to ask him. But all the questions that came to mind were only going to lead to more questions, which was going to lead to a very bad place.

It's all about the wording. I just needed to word my question in a way that didn't give away what I was really feeling. "Why were you avoiding me today?"

Eh, not the best word choice. But again...whatever.

"I wasn't avoiding you."

"Really? You've been watching me and hanging out with me and the girls over the past few days. Then today we didn't see you at all."

Better, I congratulated myself. I included the girls and used we instead of I.

"I wasn't avoiding you, Karma. I'm being honest. My dad asked me to go with him to take care of some stuff for him and my mom. I was with him all day."

He seemed sincere with his answer. But that didn't mean I was wrong in my assumptions about his intentions with me.

"Why? You miss me?" he teased.

I was so not answering that. "It's your turn, Nathan."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Fine. How many times have you read my note?"

Shit. "Nathan, I don't—"

"You agreed to be honest, Karma."

I hesitated before completely embarrassing myself. "More than twenty times, okay? Going to rub my nose in it now?"

I expected to hear a snide comment or remark—something that was going to make me regret playing this damn game with him more than I already did.

What I wasn't expecting was his answer.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me about that night," he murmured. "The one you can't remember."

That was one of the things I wanted to ask, but was too scared to. But on the other hand, I needed to know what happened.

"I don't know if I should," I said honestly.

"Don't you want to know?"

"Of course I do. But I don't think it's a good idea to talk about it."

"Why not? Because we—"

"No." I covered my ears with my hands. "Stop it, Nathan. I'm done with this game."

Rising from the water, I stepped past him to leave. This is exactly what I was worried about to begin with. I knew he wouldn't ask innocent get-to-know-you questions. Nope. He wanted to ask me questions that were going to embarrass me or piss me off. Or both.

"Karma, wait." He reached for my hand, stopping me before I could get out of the water. "Will you please look at me?"

Against my better judgement, I turned towards him. "I don't know what game you're trying to play with me, Nathan, but it needs to stop. This isn't funny."

"You think I'm playing you? Do you really think that I would do that to you, Karma?"

I pulled my hand from his and crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't know what to think. Not anymore."

What I thought I knew about my future and everything else was definitely not what it used to be.

"Will you let me tell you what happened that night, Karma? Please?"

I debated telling him to screw off. But he knew as well as I did that I wanted to know the truth.

"Why did you dance with me?" The question slipped out before I could stop it.

His eyes darkened, as if he enjoyed remembering that little event. Then the words came tumbling out. "How could I not dance with you? Something is happening between us, Karma. It started that first night when we watched Idle Hands. The more we hung out, the more we connected. I couldn't...I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"You expect me to believe that? I've seen you with girls since that night, Nathan."

"I hoped that hooking up with one of those girls would get you out of my mind. Believe me, you aren't the only one who is surprised by all this, Karma. I never expected to feel anything for you." He glanced away briefly. "I didn't even hook up with those girls. Then I saw you in the club in that damn dress. I saw another guy dancing with you and I just got—"

"Jealous," I finished for him.

His eyes held mine. "Yeah, I got jealous. So I danced with you."

"And almost kissed me."

With a deep breath, Nathan lifted his hand from the water and reached out to cup the side of my face. It took all my energy not to shutter at the feeling.

"Can you honestly tell me that you didn't want what I wanted that night, Karma?"

The problem was that I did want what he wanted that night. I still did. But no way in hell was I admitting that right now.

Stepping around him, I cleared my throat. "Tell me what happened later that night."

"I was getting ready for bed when I heard something in the hall. I opened my door to see who it was. You were stumbling down the hallway, clearly smashed. You dropped your purse. I could tell you were going to fall when you started to reach down to get it, so I came out to help."

Those memories were hazy, but some of what he said was familiar.

"I carried you to my room," he continued, "sat you on the side of my bed and gave you some water."

"And your shirt I'm assuming?"

"I told you that I couldn't look at you in that dress without wanting to kiss you. And I said that I didn't want you to be drunk when it happened. So I gave you the shirt."

I tried to not let his words affect me, but it was useless. Not only did I believe what he said, but it made me feel things I had no business feeling.

"I'm assuming there's more..."

Nathan took a step towards me. "I offered to take you back to your room. You said no and asked to stay in mine. Then I sat beside you on the bed and brushed your hair back. Like this." He reached out and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "I told you to sleep well and that I was going to crash on the floor."

My voice was a little too breathless when I said, "But you didn't, did you?"

"You said you needed something from me. You were upset and overwhelmed about the whole college thing and probably what happened at the club. So you asked me to..."

"To what?"

"To hold you," he whispered. "You asked me to hold you."

Cursing under my breath, I closed my eyes tight. Drinking was clearly not a good thing to do around Nathan. Especially if it led to me sleeping in his arms. Which I'm sure is what ended up happening.

"I started to say no," he said suddenly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I knew it wasn't a good idea. Scared the shit out of me, honestly. But then you called in your last wish."

My lips parted at that. "So I forced you to hold me? God, I sound pathetic. Like a real joke."

"Karma, that's not what—"

I held up my hand and cut him off. "Let's just forget about this, Nathan. And I'm sorry for my part in that whole night."

When I tried to move past him again, he grabbed my waist, turning me around before pulling me back against his body. I gasped with surprise, but made no move to leave.

"You aren't pathetic," he whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist. "This is how I held you that night. Just like this. You told me that this felt real to you, then asked me if it felt real to me. My response was, 'It feels real. Too real. And it scares the hell out of me'. Look at me, gorgeous."

I turned in his arms to meet his gaze, my hands resting on his bare chest.

"I'm not playing games with you, Karma." Cupping my face with his hand, his eyes fell to my lips. "I swear this is real. As fucked up as it is, it's real."

Oh god. He was going to kiss me. Just like at the club, my eyes slid shut. Nathan leaned forward and slowly brushed his lips against mine. He was waiting for me. All I had to do was lean in. My body ached for him. A part of me wanted him to crush his lips against mine and kiss the hell out of me.

"I can't," I whispered, pulling back. "Nathan, I can't. This has to stop. For so many reasons."

"Karma—"

"No," I said more firmly. "Please, Nathan. This can't happen anymore."

Stepping away from me, he held up his hands. "Alright, Karma. If that's what you want. It's done. Finished."

"Thank you."

I watched Nathan get out of the hot tub, grab his towel, and head back towards the hotel. This was for the best. This is what needed to happen. He and I were going down a road we had no business traveling.

"It's done. Finished."

This was what I wanted...wasn't it?