When you'll find this, I may not be alive and standing in front of you— talking to you, telling every tale I have in store for you. But don't worry, Suta, I will never leave you. You were my best friend. You are one of such persons on the Earth who deserve happiness and all things that they desire.

I will be the air, stars, sun and moon. I will be the maple leaves of autumn and cherry blossoms of the spring, mangoes of the summer and snowflakes of the winter. Whenever you'll need me, look around, I will be there.

In my life, I have always loved that one person with all my heart. I gave so much of my love to him that I was left without any  for me. When we were 7, I fell in love. I thought being loyal is the most important thing. But I couldn't understand that it can only be important if it's a both sided thing. One sided love is the most pathetic thing in existence.

Guess I was born unfortunate, lost my father at six. Now lost my mother. You may say to die peacefully, and experience how your heart come to a halt... but honey, that could only be possible if one had a heart. Mine was dead a long time ago.

Oh, Luke! If you only knew I loved you, will the time change? Will the present day be any different if I had confessed my feelings to you in high school?

Maybe that was impossible, especially to return the feelings of a girl who had no attractiveness, the one who was the ugliest and most pathetic fool. But it wasn't your fault. It was all mine. For it wasn't you who broke my heart first. It was my about-to-die father, who never wished for a girl, and then my mother who wished I would be a perfect child. And you, it wasn't an uncommon thing for you. I had never expected, yet, something in the autumnal air told me to wait... Wait for something that was next to impossible.

And as the saying goes,"If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer. Every moment is the most important moment of your life. No future time is better than now to let down your guard and love. " Therefore, maybe, I did a big mistake.

Waiting could never be an option, when you know in the end you can never get the thing you're waiting for. Then? Should I move on for the better leaving the best? I could never do that, everything in the world reminds me of you— and it breaks my heart even more. In this life, we come across many people and lovers meet, but I have always been a passerby. A pathetic one.

I wanted to do adventures! The gush of adrenaline and the thrill is what I always wanted to experience but never did, for who on the Earth would like to tag along such an ugly creature?At least I will, before I die. Before my heart and breathing comes to a halt.

Falling from the rooftop to the ground, I wonder, what is it like to fall from a 4 storey building? I can't wait to experience it. For me, death will be my thrilling experience— my adventure to the next life!

Suta once asked me,
"If that small string from your heart could conquer the world..."

"No"

"Huh?" She looked at me as if the world collapsed.

"That couldn't  even conquer  some person's  heart", and I meant it.

It's true, isn't?

Farewell, Luke Bryan. All I want for next life is you. And that time I'll neither wait, nor fall in love alone. I want us to fall in love together and to catch each other as we fall. I want us to love each other until the very end, and grow old together and die together. I will now be in much more peace, more and more peace...

I love you and will always love you! Farewell!

Love,
An unfortunate girl.