18th March 2015

I was on the terrace of my 4-floor dormitory burning the pages of my diary. Suta came out of nowhere and snatched the diary out of my hands. I couldn't help but slap her. We didn't talk the whole day. But at night she apologized to me. I freaking cried hugging her. She is only person who cares for me! I was touched...

I don't remember how many time I apologized to her, but I remembered she kept patting my back. Luke and the girl are engaged. They are happy, and I am so happy.

But it hurts. So much.

Why?

Why couldn't I stop feeling pathetic ?!

I hate myself! I hate me and everything about me.

I don't want to die so late. I want to meet my mom, I miss her. My sands of time are fleeting by quickly. I will attempt suicide. I am done.

Love,
N.