Julian POV

The first time I met you, I couldn't take my eyes off your beauty. You were the most gorgeous woman I'd ever met with your jet black hair and blue green eyes. When I joked about dinner, I actually meant I would love to take you to dinner, but didn't figure I should be that forward with you. When you told me your name, Evangeline, I thought it was such a fitting name for you - a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

Next you 'propositioned' me, and I would never admit to you that I would have actually taken you up on your offer if I hadn't promised my mom I would wait for my mate. I was so incredibly attracted to you - it was like something was pulling you to me. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. There were so many things I wish I could do to you - with you.

Your laugh was absolutely infectious, and sometimes I pulled pranks not just to impress you but to hear you laugh. Your smile and how you enhanced everything you did, made me want to call you angel the first time - but I was afraid that using that type of term of endearment would only alert you and those around you that I was very interested in you.

The alarm clock prank was probably one of my favorites because of the look on your face and the blush on your cheeks when you saw that I slept without clothes on - and how I want you to be impressed by what you saw. I even asked you if you liked what you saw - in French of course so you wouldn't know what I was saying.

Later you were sitting in the front room sulking, I wanted to make you feel better. I just wanted to hear that infectious, angelic laugh of yours. You had told me you had gotten a call from your mom about that prick that rejected you. Inside I was fuming, but I was good at hiding those types of emotions. However we ended up staring at each other. I realized that we both had realized that we had developed feelings for one another. When you looked away and seemed kind of embarrassed by that moment, I knew you were going to respect my wishes about finding my mate. Why the hell couldn't you have been my mate - dammit! I guess keeping you as my best friend was going to be the best I was ever going to get. Internally this made me extremely upset, but what the hell was I going to do about the situation. It was also the first time I told you you were beautiful - in French of course again - because I was too embarrassed to say it out loud.

We would joke and say 'Screw you!" and "Fuck you!" but that is exactly what I wanted to do and damn if I couldn't help my fangs from descending at the most inopportune times - and since you were so observant you noticed - well you probably noticed other things too, but were nice enough not to say anything.

The day of the whipped cream prank was the day that I had finally decided that I might take a chance and kiss you - see where it might lead. Fate intervened again when Romain interrupted us. I was so upset with him at that moment, and to this day I'm not sure if it would have been a mistake to kiss you then.

One day, you announce that you are going to leave, and my heart sinks a little. I knew this day was coming. You had been having more meetings with Scarlett lately, and I knew they were talking about the threats to Blackrose by Sanguis Silence and Crimson Edge Packs. Crimson Edge Pack made me shiver a little. It was the pack where that jackass who rejected you was from. I wouldn't have rejected you if you were my mate - I can guarantee that! I knew that you planned to travel to Virginia to your mom's old pack to try let them know and to possibly try to start to form alliances between our pack and both the Tidewater and New Dawn Packs. Tidewater had some of the best trained fighters - the Warriors, they called them. Eva's mom used to be a Warrior, well I guess she still is technically, she just is part of the Silver Tide Pack as the Luna. I wonder if you get your beauty from her mom or dad or both? It ended up being both.

But regardless of all of this, I knew something else was wrong. Even though we had basically become best friends, you weren't willing to talk about it. I figured it had to do with Romain, and I wasn't willing to push it to find out. I really didn't want to hear your answer to what was wrong - I already had a feeling what the problem was.

The day came for you to leave, and I was really sad. I had chosen this road, but I also knew based on her decision with Romain, it was probably better that I had become your best friend. You won't have given me a chance anyway. Now I can still be friends with you without the awkwardness. But maybe it would have worked. Maybe.

I went to bed that night sad, but got my own surprise. You had left with one more prank. You little minx!! You pranked me and ran! Oh, you'll be in for a surprise when you come back!"

So a few days after you left Blackrose the first time, Scarlett asked me to come to her office.

"Why are you sulking Jules?"

"No reason." I mutter out, which is very uncharacteristic for me.

"You love her, don't you?" She inquires.

"I don't know what you're talking about Red." I said defiantly, certainly trying to hide my feelings.

"You're almost a fool Jules." She scolds.

"Why's that Red?"

"She loves you - you know." She responds.

"But she dated Romain." I flatly replied with a hint of jealousy.

"She dated Romain after you made it clear you were waiting for your mate. She cares for you enough to respect your wishes. But make no doubt about it, she fell in love with you first." She continued.

"I made a promise to my mom to wait for my mate."

"I realize that, and I'm glad you are keeping that promise. It is one of the things that helps me think so highly of you. But make no mistakes about it, it will be hard when she returns to adopt Devaney." She said this solemnly, so I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. I chose not to push it further.

A few days later was the day you were supposed to come to adopt Devaney. And I watched you stepping out with a guy that I knew was your second chance mate. You looked up at my window, and I knew you saw me there. That's when I saw a single tear fall down your face before you looked away at the rest of the people gathering.

Time to turn off the internal emotions and just be back to being her best friend - my partner in crime, because I had chosen to wait for my mate and forsake the girl I had fallen in love with. It was time to pay you back for pranking me and not allowing me to give you one in return. I waited at the top of the stairs for them to enter so I could make my grand entrance.

The first time I told you I loved you - in French - was the day you came with that arrogant prick and I played the silly string prank on you. Again the urge to kiss you almost overtook my common sense not to.

My heart broke again after you were kidnapped and almost died. You couldn't remember anything about Callum, and I so wanted to take advantage of that - but it wouldn't have been fair to either one of us. I tried hard to keep my distance from you, but you seemed to need me so badly, that I just couldn't always stay away from you. The bastard didn't like it, but the doctors made sure to remind him that you were in a delicate state and needed all the friends you had before the accident to help with your recovery. Let me tell you the guy fumed the whole time, but I'm not sure if it was because he cared about your recovery or if it was more about getting you away from me and the rest of your friends. Your friends added more in your recovery than he did. Hell, Devaney went to more of your physical therapy appointments than he did. I'll never fully understand why you were mated with him - other than the birth of Zoey.

One of the saddest parts came when everything came to a head with Danielle. I really did try with her - I mean she was my fated mate - but I just never felt for her what I felt for you - ever. She never accepted me fully and it was always a struggle to get her to accept to anything. The day of the rejection was a day my spirit was temporarily crushed.

"Earth to Julian?"

I snap out of my thoughts and look to see Scarlett's worried eyes on me. Crap, we're having a meeting, and I zoned out again.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

She just shakes her head and sighs.

"Julian, what's going on with you? You've been far more distracted than usual."

I sigh, and open my mouth to give her a vague answer.

"If you claim tiredness as an excuse then I will throttle you. Don't feed me bullshit Jules, just tell me the truth."

I run a hand through my hair and sigh in resignation.

"It's Danielle...isn't it?"

How well she knows me.

"Yeah...it is." I admit.

Truth be told, my relationship with my mate Danielle is rocky to say the least. Her being human had made it difficult from the get go, then there was the fact that she is my complete opposite. Serious, focused, not the type to enjoy goofing off or having a lot of fun...

Of course, I do take things seriously...I just don't let my work consume my life and drain my ability to have fun.

We've been together in the mate sense for roughly two years now...but it hasn't progressed as much as I hoped it would by now. She still makes excuses as for why she's better living off of the pack land...and not sharing a home with me. She still has some hesitation about me...which hurts a little bit...but I understand...

But she always seems to be leaving town, or going out of state...and every time I offer to go with her, to meet her family or just spend more time with her, she makes even more excuses...

And even though she's let me mark her, which felt like she was just placating me so I'd leave her alone, we haven't mated...at all...

I just don't know what to do. I do love her, she's like the yin to my yang...she inspires me to do better at my role as Beta, and the occasions she does laugh are almost magical...

But I can't help but wonder if she really loves me back...

"Just be patient Jules, these kind of things take time...she is human after all..." she half orders.

I nod, and she smiles.

"Go see her. Surprise her, I can handle the rest for tonight."

Grinning excitedly, I stand up quickly. "Thanks Red, I'll-"

A sudden wave of nausea hits me hard, and I stagger at the the feeling.

"Julian!?"

The sound of Scarlett's voice is distorted and muted...like she's a thousand miles away...

The nausea hits again...as well as a burning pain in my shoulder...right above my heart...no...

"Get Juniper! Now!"

I feel the floor begin to sway beneath my feet, and just before my legs completely give out, Scarlett catches me...preventing me from hitting the ground.

I bring a hand to my burning shoulder, the pain now encompasses my heart as well, and the dull ache in my brain flairs painfully...

"Julian...oh goddess..."

I look up to see Scarlett's horrified eyes trained on the brand like mark glowing painfully on my shoulder, and I can feel my world crumbling as her expression confirms my fears...

"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry Jules..."

I sit quietly in the dark, letting my thoughts go numb at the silence in the apartment.

I've been waiting in Danielle's apartment for hours now...ever since I recovered from her obvious betrayal. I plan on talking this out as soon as possible...I'm not going to beat around the bush or put this off...I'm tired of playing games, I'm tired of not knowing where I stand with her...and I'm just tired...and hurt...and sick...and angry...

I gave everything, tried my damnedest to make our relationship work...busted my ass to try and make her feel happy and loved...and this is what I get in return?

I'm done with the bullshit...

The sound of the key turning in the lock perks my attention, but I don't move a muscle. The door then swings open loudly, and the lights flick on afterwards...the sudden gasp of shock fills the silence along with the thumping sound of a suitcase hitting the floor.

"Ju-Julian! What are you doing here?"

I hold up my key as I sit on her couch, taking in her brunette locks and blue eyes. The air is quickly filled with her scent...that smells heavily of another man...and mating...

I fight back the bile.

"Waiting for you. Where have you been? I've texted you a dozen times."

She shuts the door, avoiding my gaze.

"I was at work...I had to work late again."

Bullshit my wolf Takka growls, but I hold it in. Strike one...

"Really? Cause I called your office two hours ago, and they said you left three hours before then."

Her eyes widen, clearly surprised.

"Right...okay, I was at Sara's house."

Strike two.

"I called her too, she said you two haven't hung out since you two had a falling out three months ago."

Her heartbeat accelerates with anxiety, and I decide to cut her bull short.

"What's his name Danielle?"

She blinks, swallowing hard.

"Who are you talking about?" She hedges.

"The man you cheated on me with tonight."

She falters, and I prepare myself for another lie.

"I don't know what you're talking about..."

Strike three...you're out.

"Just make this easier for both of us and just be honest. I've had enough of your crap for one night."

Her confused expression becomes pissed, and she starts to glare at me...something I usually find adorable...but not tonight.

"You have some nerve accusing me of cheating! Especially considering how much you go around and flirt with other girls!"

She jumps when I use my speed to appear right in front of her, and for a brief moment I can see a twinge of fear in her eyes.

"You are so eager to jump on me, how do I know that you haven't been cheating yourself?"

Despite my anger, I carefully lay a hand on top of the mark I gave her...the thing that exposed her infidelity.

"Because Danielle, if I had, this mark here would have turned excruciatingly painful, like a burning sensation. You would have been overwhelmed with nausea, and it would have felt like your head was going to explode..."

Her eyes widen at my words, and I keep my voice calm...if nothing else.

"I know that because I felt those exact same feelings tonight...so just do me a favor and be honest with me."

She backs up a little, and I watch her closely.

"Before you even try to make excuses, like how I could've been mistaken, don't bother. I can smell him on you...as well as the scent of sex...which I know damn well wasn't from me..."

"Fine! Yes, I did sleep with someone else! Why the hell do you care?"

She yells, and now I don't bother keeping calm.

"Maybe because I'm your mate!!! Because mates don't go around sleeping with other people!!! They are loyal to each other!!!"

"Like you were ever loyal!!! I saw the way you flirted with other girls...especially that wolf girl Eva!!! You're going to tell me that you never were with her!!"

Eva's name stirs even more anger.

"I was nothing but loyal!!! I did everything for you! I tried everything to get closer to you, to show you how much you meant to me!!! But this is your excuse?! You cheated me because you assumed I was sleeping with another woman??!"

Her silence speaks volumes and suddenly, her behavior clicks...the usual lack of interest until another girl came around, the territorial behavior until the other girl was gone...then back to distance and disinterest...the analogy of how a dog neglects a chew toy they lose interest in...until another dog shows interest in it...

Danielle never loved me...she just didn't want anyone else to have me. She just wanted to own me...that's why it was so easy for her to cheat on me...to her I was just a toy...

"If I really meant so little to you...why did you even bother with humoring me?"

I turn towards her, noticing her lack of response.

"Let's just cut the crap with each other Danielle. I'm tired of playing games with you...and you're tired of placating me..."

Takka whines, but I ignore him.

"Either we start over and not play games...or we cut it off right now..."

She stays quiet...and I think I already know her answer.

"I, Danielle Drake, reject you as my mate."

The pain the rips through my chest burns painfully as my mark disappears from her shoulder...but I hold it in. I've given her almost everything I have...I'll be damned if I give her the little that's left...

"I, Beta Julian Le Tourneau of Blackrose Swamp, accept your rejection."

I drop the spare key at her feet and walk out the door, managing to hold it in until it shuts behind me...then I shift, shredding my clothes and tearing through the trees, Takka and I letting out a mournful howl as we race blindly through the dense vegetation...

After what seems like hours, I collapse to the ground at the base of a giant Cyprus, not caring about the mud soaking into my fur. I just lay here...allowing the pain to turn me numb...

The sound of footsteps catch my attention after an hour or so, but I don't even bother lifting my head...I know who it is...and I never wanted to look this pitiful in front of her...

"Jules..."

Scarlett's muddy combat boots stop in front of my muzzle, and then disappear as she moves beside me. Her arm circles around my neck, pulling my giant head into her lap.

"You're going to be okay....I promise that the pain won't last forever. You're strong...and you've got me and the rest of the pack on your side."

Her normally strong, authoritative voice is soft now...extremely unlike her.

"Everything's gonna be okay...I'm so sorry..."

-----

After you came back into my life, you became everything to me. You accepted every part of me, not just the ones that you wanted to accept.

You've always loved me, even if we couldn't be together. Once you could show me that you loved me, that's what you did.

You've given me gifts beyond what I could have ever hoped for.

You've completed my life in a matter of months.

What is there not to love? Why do you think that she would ever be a factor in my life anymore?

I love you Evangeline Le Tourneau - no other woman could fill your place from now until eternity.