"She looks happier," Max says from beside me. The sound of the aluminum foil tears through my ears as I watch Avery talk to her math teacher about something. She's definitely doing better. As good as someone in her situation could be, I guess. 

"Yeah, my parents offered to help," I say, taking a bite out of my sandwich. 

"Did you tell her about her Dad and the shit you found?" He glances at me, and from the look on my face, I've already betrayed the truth. 

"Kyran, you need to tell her!" 

I run a hand through my hair, frustration taking over. "I know, Max. But it's complicated." I glance over at her, still talking about something while that math teacher, I forgot his name, scribbles a complicated looking integral on the board. Trust me, I'm neat with math most of the time. Of course, I had to learn it to do coding. But, calculus makes me want to take a skewer and poke my eyeballs out. I don't know how she does it.

"But she needs to know, man. It's her life, her dad, her shit, her choices. If you keep hiding this from her, it's not okay." Max is worried about me, as he should be, but he doesn't realize the extent to which this could break Avery. 

I turn away from her, biting my lip. I don't know how much clearer I can be with Max about this. "I don't want to hurt her. She's been through enough, Max. The last thing I want is to be the one to break her."

Max shakes his head, a sharp exhale escaping his lips. "Kyran, you're already keeping things from her. This isn't about protecting her anymore. It's about letting her make her own choices. If you really care about her, you'll give her the chance to decide what to do with the truth."

I lean back in my chair. I know I shouldn't spend all my time worrying about Avery that I forget myself. She doesn't deserve to be buried under the weight of her parents' stupidity. But if I don't tell her... if I don't give her a chance to see what's really going on, am I just as guilty as him?

Max gets up, grabbing his foil piece with him. "Oh, and a word of advice. Stop staring at her like you're hungry." 

I laugh dryly, running a hand over my face, but the smile doesn't reach my heart.

"Are you going to confess your undying love for her?" Max says, glancing between me and Avery.

"Maybe I am." The words slip out before I can stop them, and instantly, I feel like an idiot.

Max pauses, his back still turned, then slowly faces me again. "You're not fooling anyone, Kyran." He hold my gaze. "If you care about her, stop acting like keeping secrets is the answer. You're doing this weird dance around her, and she deserves more than that. She deserves you—the real you, not this version who's too scared to tell her what's really going on."

"It's really not that," I explain, trying my best to sound convincing. "I just don't want to overburden her, that's all."

Max spares a glance of disbelief. "Overburden her? Kyran, she's already dealing with more than what most people her age ever should. Hiding things from her doesn't protect her—it just feels like a betrayal to her if she ever got to know this."

I don't understand why he's acting as though I'm committing a crime in not telling her. She needs to take things one step at a time, and I don't want to be the one who's helping her but also adding to her anxiety even more. Max doesn't get it, he wouldn't. This isn't even about me anymore. This is about making sure Avery gets the help she needs, and I don't care if I end up fighting her mom for it.

I run my fingers through my hair again, trying to focus. Max's eyes soften slightly as he watches me, like he understands that I'm torn, but he really doesn't.

"You know, I think I should look into getting her a therapist," I say, moving away from the topic. 

"Hmm." He nods. "Yeah, know someone?"

I shake my head, glancing back at Avery. "Not yet, but I'll figure something out. It might be good for her, you know? Someone who can help her process all this."

"Kyran," a voice calls, and I turn around to see Caleb looking quite confused. I wonder if he overheard my conversation with Max, and if I get any inclination that he did, I'm ready to attack him. 

"Caleb," Max answers for me. I don't look at him. Caleb isn't exactly someone I want to talk to right now. Not with everything that's been going on.

"Kyran, I just really wanted to say sorry about what happened," Caleb's voice trails off, and I feel my body tense and my stomach churn.

"Sorry?" I repeat, trying to keep my tone steady. "What for?"

He looks down at his feet, clearly uncomfortable. "For, you know... the whole situation with Avery and her family. I didn't... I didn't realize it was that serious."

I want to snap, to tell him that he doesn't get to apologize like that, not after everything, but I stop myself. Not here. Not in front of Max, or Avery, or anyone else who might overhear.

"Don't bother, Caleb. It's done." My voice is flat, as I try to push the anger down. I don't want to make a scene. I don't want to make more drama than there already is. "Just... stay out of it. Okay?"

He nods quickly, his eyes not quite meeting mine. I can see the guilt written all over his face, but I don't care. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness, and I'm not going to give it to him just because he says the right words.

Max's eyes flicker between us, reading the tension that's clearly building. He stands up, his posture stiff, like he's ready to defuse any potential conflict. "You should go, Caleb," he says, his voice more commanding than I expected. "Kyran's not in the mood for this."

Caleb doesn't argue. He simply mutters a quick, half-hearted apology again before turning and walking away, his shoulders slumped.

As soon as he's gone, I let out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Ready to go?" Avery's voice pulls me back to the present. "You said you wanted to show me something."

I blink, my thoughts snapping back to the present. Avery's standing there, a slight smile on her face, her books in hand, looking like the same girl who's been struggling with her life for months, but somehow... she looks better. I can see it in the way her eyes aren't as haunted as they were, how she's not as closed off anymore.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I say, standing up quickly, trying to mask the tension that still clings to me. Max's words are still echoing in my head. You're doing this weird dance around her... she deserves you—the real you...

But the real me? Can I even be that guy for her? If I tell her the truth about her dad, about everything... will it break her?

I force a smile as I grab my bag, trying to act normal. Trying to act like I'm not internally freaking out. I follow Avery out of the lunchroom, past the cluster of students milling about. She's talking about something, but I barely hear her. All I can think about is the fact that I'm lying to her—again.

I open the door for her as we step outside, the cool air hitting my face. Avery doesn't seem to notice that I'm acting odd. She's lost in her own thoughts, a faint smile still on her lips as she looks around.

"You sure you're good to go?" I ask, my voice betraying my worry more than I intended.

Avery stops and looks at me, her brow furrowing slightly. "You mean me? Yeah, I'm okay. I mean, it's a lot, but I'm getting there."

"Hey, can I ask you something?" she says suddenly, looking up at me. 

"Yeah, of course."

She hesitates for a moment before speaking again, her words a little softer than usual. "I just... I don't know if I should be asking this, but you're always so quiet when it comes to you. Like, I don't know much about you. Do you... I don't know. Do you feel like you can talk about it?"

It's like I've been so caught up in helping her, trying to be the person she needs, that I completely forgot about how much I've been shutting her out. And now, she's asking, in her own quiet way, to know me. To understand the stuff I've been hiding.

I swallow hard, trying to think of a way to deflect, but her gaze is steady, patient, like she's waiting for me to open up.

"Well, screwing up Notre Dame messed up big time," I tell her. "But, I'm looking into other colleges."

Avery's quiet, but I can feel her eyes on me, taking it all in. "That's... awful," she says finally, her voice soft. "And you've been dealing with all of that while still... helping me?"

Her words are like a punch to the gut, not because they hurt, but because they make me realize how much I've been burying everything—my failures, my frustrations—just to avoid feeling them.

"I guess I figured..." I trail off. "You've had enough to deal with. Adding my stuff didn't feel fair."

Avery shakes her head, her hair catching the sunlight in a way that momentarily distracts me. "Kyran, that's not how this works. You don't have to carry everything on your own. You've been there for me, and I want to be there for you, too."

"I'm fine, Avery," I say, "My college problems don't need to be on your mind right now."

Avery frowns, crossing her arms, clearly not letting it go. "Yeah, you keep saying that, but I don't think you believe it."

I can't believe how stubborn she is. Actually, I can. It's one of her more endearing qualities.

"Anyways," she says, knocking into me while walking. She seems to walk in a not-so-straight line, and it usually means she collides into me. Not that I mind, of course. "I like walking."

I glance down at her, a crooked smile tugging at my lips despite everything swirling in my mind. "You know you're terrible at walking straight, right?"

"That is so very rude." She gives me a glare for the ages, but continues walking in a zig zag. 

We stop near the edge of the school field, the cool breeze tugging at her hair. She's still smiling faintly, but there's a softness to her expression now, one that makes it hard to look away.

"I mean it, Avery," I say. "You don't have to worry about me. I just... I want to make sure you're okay first."

She steps a little closer, her gaze locking onto mine, and for a moment, the world around us fades away. "Kyran," she says softly, "you keep putting me first, but... who's looking out for you? You know pretty much all there is to know about me, and you're helping me through it. But, Yashna has a point. How about you?"

"I—" My voice catches, and I can't bring myself to finish. Her eyes search mine, and I can feel her leaning in, just the smallest movement, like she's about to close the space between us.

My heart is racing, every nerve in my body hyper-aware of her, of how close she is. I can feel her warmth, the faint scent of her sea perfume. 

I open my mouth to answer her, but forming coherent thoughts became difficult when all I can see are her eyes. 

"Kyran!" A loud voice shatters the moment, making us both jump. "UCLA wants to schedule an interview!"

Yashna, I am going to kill you.

We turn to see Yashna jogging toward us, waving something in the air. Her smile falters when she sees Avery, who moves ten feet away from me.

For fuck's sake, Yashna.

"Thanks," I mumble, taking the paper from her. I should be happier, I know, but my brain is stuck on the moment from a minute before. 

"I think I'm going to go now," she says, glaring at Avery before turning away. I steal a glance at Avery who is firmly rooted to her position. 

"Ready to keep going?" I ask.

She nods, her smile widening slightly as she meets my eyes again. "Yeah. Let's go."

I can't believe I fucked that one up.

bleep. bloop. beep.