"ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ᴏɴᴇ ꜱɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟɪᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟɪᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟɪᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ"

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

⋆·˚ ༘ *

What is love? I'd like to know. I've seen so many movies and rom-coms, courtesy of Yashna. Hell, I've even watched Asian films and shows because Yashna's mom was Asian and passed on the cultural legacy to her daughter who forced the entire family to sit down and watch them with her.

In Western rom-coms, it goes like this. A not-so-popular girl likes a popular hot guy. They're forced to do stuff together for some cliched reason. Then, they both fall in love. Someone makes a speech about how they can't be together because of their differences. Finally, they realize that they love each other and they end up together.

Happy ever after.

In Asian rom-coms that Yashna showed me, a guy sees a girl and falls in love. He then proceeds to stalk the poor girl who is minding her own business. She soon falls in love when he decides to be somewhat heroic. The family has objections and the guy proves that he's worth it or whatever. Then, they get married.

Happy ever after.

What is the difference between friendship and love? When do we even know?

When we hurt someone once, can we ever erase it?

These were the thoughts whirring through my head as Max drove Avery and me to the mall. She had gained her composure again, her eyes back to their original amber. She didn't look like she had a panic attack just a few minutes ago.

She looked like the confident Avery Turner again.

I stole a glance at her as she was typing away at her phone, her forehead creased as she responded to a text message. She seemed lost in her own world, and she was luckily unaware of the random turmoil whizzing through my head.

It was nearly impossible to forget the image of her trembling, sobbing, unable to breathe. She was just another teenager, vulnerable and susceptible to pressure. Of course, I knew she was susceptible to pressure, but panic attacks had to be triggered. That trigger today was a girl being locked inside a room.

Why did it trigger her? Was it her parents' divorce? Was it more than that?

Did it happen to her?

Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed when Max pulled into the parking lot of the mall, bringing us to a stop in front of the entrance. Avery glanced up from her phone, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before she turned to Max with a smile.

"Thanks for the ride, Max. You're a lifesaver," she said, leaning over to give him a quick hug before opening the car door and stepping out into the bustling parking lot. The mall seemed busier today than usual. For a weekday, I'd never have expected the mall's parking lot to be filled entirely.

Max chuckled from inside the car, returning her hug before turning to me. "Have fun you two. Avery, don't get high on coffee!" he teased, earning a shove from Avery. She folded her arms and glared at Max and at that moment, she looked like my mom when she was angry with me.

Frightening.

I rolled my eyes, but there was a small bit of nervousness in me as I followed Avery out of the car and into the mall. It was crowded and noisy, fully packed with people. I watched intently as Avery downloaded the Revolut app on her phone very quickly as we made our way through the crowds of people.

"Hey, Avery? Why are you redownloading Revolut? Don't you just keep it on the home screen?" I asked curiously as she signed into her account and completed the verification checks.

"Um, no. My mom checks my phone and she doesn't actually know that I have Revolut," Avery replied, her fingers moving swiftly over the screen as she added her card to the wallet and transferred some money. "I usually delete it before I get home. Just a precaution, you know?"

I nodded, understanding her need for secrecy. Avery's relationship with her mother had always been complicated, to say the least. However, there was a lot about her relationship that I didn't know, having only seen the small fragments that I caught a glimpse of now and then. She probably loved her mom dearly, dearly enough to listen to exactly what she said. There were aspects of her life that Avery preferred to keep hidden, especially when it came to her finances.

And her relationship with me.

I judged her way too harshly when her mom found out about us the first time. For my fourteen-year-old head, it felt awfully demeaning that Avery had not only branded me as a thief, she also completely disassociated herself from me.

Both of which hurt a lot.

We continued walking through the mall, and I noticed how fake Avery was. She was leading the greatest double life ever. The facade was even better than mine. Max, who had figured out about my coding lair and that I was hiding something, couldn't notice that Avery was acting off.

That was because Avery wasn't acting off. She looked exactly as cheerful as she did in the morning when we were talking to Max. Even now, there was no sign of the tear stains, no sign of the breathlessness, and definitely no sign of the breakdown that she went through a mere hour ago.

There was something deeper, something hidden beneath the surface that she wasn't ready to confront. How well did she play her part, to be able to switch so quickly?

Which part of her was real?

There were two sides to me. The Kyran who locked himself away from others and worked by himself, and the Kyran who showed everyone who he was. Those were two parts of me.

I never changed myself. I just added more to myself.

Avery was a different person entirely. She was so different that I couldn't tell which part of her was a lie, and which one was real.

We strolled through the bustling mall, Avery's eyes occasionally lighting up at the sight of the most mundane. She seemed to effortlessly transition between different roles, each one crafted to fit the situation. Was the Avery who laughed and joked genuine, or just another mask?

As we approached the coffee shop, Avery flashed me a bright, lively smile as we stepped inside, her eyes carefully scanning the menu board above the counter.

"So, what's your usual?" she asked, her voice betraying none of the pain I knew she must be feeling.

"Would you kill me if I said I was more of a tea person?" I laughed. "Those late-night coding sessions are the only times I get coffee."

"I should've known. This is why I don't like you. How the hell do you stay awake in class?"

I gaped at her, "I'm an athlete. I'm also not allowed caffeine."

She sighed. "You lead a tragic life, Kyran."

I nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corner of my lips. "What about you, Everly? What's your choice of poison?"

Avery's smile faltered slightly at the use of her nickname. "A caramel Macchiato, extra foam," she said her gaze flickering to the counter before returning to meet mine.

We waited for our drinks at a corner table, one that looked out onto the ocean. Avery looked out with her head in her hands, a small smile on her face as she took everything in.

It was almost lunchtime, and there we were drinking our beverages. There were no rules to anything anymore, just the two of us doing whatever we wanted to do. Avery shared stories of her childhood, of the years spent at her grandparents' house and late-night movie marathons with the little kids there.

"I can totally see you as a child throwing tantrums for no reason," I told her as she took a long sip of her coffee. She laughed a certain lightness in her eyes.

"Oh, believe me, I was a little terror. My poor grandparents had their hands full with me."

I smiled, picturing a younger version of Avery causing mischief and mayhem, ordering people around even though she was tiny. "I bet they loved every minute of it," I said, reaching for my tea and taking a sip.

"Yeah, they did. Until I moved back here," she replied sadly, looking away at the ocean again. A somber note crept into Avery's voice, and I sensed a shift in her demeanor.

"Moving back here must have been tough," I offered gently, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on her arm.

Avery nodded, her gaze fixed on the horizon. "It was. My mom... she's not the easiest person to live with."

I waited quietly, sensing that she was about to finally open up. Everything stilled as Avery gathered her thoughts, her next words probably showing me the real her. Or, at least a part of her.

"My dad um, he disappeared when I was eight," she began, her voice barely above a whisper. "Well, my mom, she had to bring me back here with legal evidence that she was my legal guardian. And, well... my mom is closer to my sister than I am. Well, she did grow up with her. I guess I became the collateral damage."

I listened intently, my heart aching for Avery. My parents' divorce was messy enough but my mom found love again, and she shared it with everyone. It seemed to me that Avery's mom was living off of hate, taking it out on Avery. This was the first time she had ever spoken about her family life. It was a side of her I had never seen before, one that made her seem more vulnerable and real than ever.

"She... she lives through me," Avery continued, her voice trembling slightly. "She needs me to be perfect. She needs me to be what she couldn't be. My mom made mistakes in her life, ones that she didn't want me to make. All good intentions, of course. Just... just I wish she liked me."

Tears glistened in her eyes, and it was back to the Avery I saw earlier. It was clear that talking about her mother was difficult for her, but she pressed on as if compelled to finally share her burden with someone.

"Ave, you know you can talk to someone? Like child protection services or whatever?" I asked, and she looked up, her expression unreadable.

"Why would I-" she began and I cut her off before she started lying again.

"Avery, I saw the marks on your hands. I know something happened the night before you came to my house."

Her eyes widened in surprise, her act crumbling in the face of my observation. She blinked back tears, her hands trembling as she fidgeted with the rim of her coffee cup.

"Those were just scratches," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Yeah, whose scratches?" I asked, "Avery, that's not okay. You need to tell someone."

I reached across the table to take her hand in mine, but she shook it off.

"What do you know?" she exclaimed, "All I have to do is survive the next two years and then I'll be out of here anyway. If I told anyone, anyone for that matter, I would be left responsible for so much. I need to get to Princeton and getting my mom in trouble is not the way."

Avery was torn, her emotions were warring inside her and she didn't know how to deal with this. However, her words confirmed one thing. Her mom was abusing her. Whether she realized it or not, that was true. I had guessed that she was emotionally abused from the get-go, ever since I met her mother but now, she was physically abusing her daughter too.

I leaned back in my chair, absorbing Avery's words with a heavy heart. It pained me to see her suffer like that, burdened by her mother's expectations and abuse. But I also understood her reluctance to seek help, to risk jeopardizing her future for the sake of happiness.

"Avery, I get it. I do," I began, my voice soft but firm. "But you shouldn't have to go through this. At all. You need to feel supported..."

I wished I could help her more.

"...and safe," I continued, my tone soft and clear. "And if you ever feel like you're in danger, or if things escalate, you need to know that there are people who can help you."

Her defenses momentarily disappeared as she gazed at me. It was as if a part of her wanted to believe that there was hope, that she didn't have to face everything alone. But the fear of the unknown, of what might happen if she ever spoke out, held her back.

"I know it's scary," I said gently, reaching out to take her hand once more, this time meeting no resistance. I tried to keep my voice gentle and soothing, reminding me of my pep talks before a match. "You're stronger than you think, Avery. There are people who care about you, and who want to help you. You just have to let them in."

We sat there in silence as I started rethinking Avery's confession. She was hiding so much, and so well that I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She saw no way out, and the only way out threatened her future.

If I knew one thing about Avery Turner, she would never ever do anything that would jeopardize her future.

"Why do you do it?" Avery suddenly asked, her voice breaking through the silence. "Why do you hack into people's accounts, Kyran? What do you gain from it?"

I hesitated, caught off guard by her question. It was a topic I rarely discussed with anyone, let alone someone like Avery who had just poured her heart out to me. But there was something in her eyes, something that told me she deserved to know the truth, no matter how difficult it was to admit.

"I guess... I guess I do it because I can," I replied slowly, choosing my words with care. "Because it's the one thing I'm good at, the one thing that makes me feel powerful."

Avery's brow furrowed in confusion, her gaze searching mine for answers. "But why? Why do you need to feel powerful, Kyran? What are you trying to prove?"

"Avery, you know what I love about you?" I explained, "The way you never care what anyone else has to say about you. You don't need their validation. But, I need it. I can't tell you why. I just do."

"Well, the only validation I want happens to also be my greatest problem," she replied, with a small smile on her face.

"Your mom?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. "So, the reason for your perfect grades is being perfect for your mom?"

Avery nodded, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Yeah, pretty much. It's like I'm constantly chasing after something...anything that could make her like me."

I squeezed her hand gently, offering her a reassuring smile. "You don't have to keep living up to her expectations, Avery. You're like the smartest person I know."

She glanced down at our intertwined hands and suddenly pulled back. "Kyran, why are we doing this again?"

"Avery-" I began before she cut me off, her eyes darkening in the light. I pulled my hand back and she moved back in her chair.

"Kyran, this...remember what happened last time? Yeah. If anyone finds out about it, they'll make my life worse than it already is," she exclaimed, "Nothing will happen to you, Kyran. Everyone loves you and fears you. But me? Everyone hates me. I don't need anyone to tell me otherwise. I know that. You act differently around me, and people already saw that. If they keep digging, they'll figure it out."

I took a deep breath, anger bubbling through me. I kept my cool, however, not wanting to create an unnecessary scene in a coffee shop. "Avery, are you going to just push everyone away? Is that your goal? To be alone? I like being around you. Why is that hard to believe?"

"Kyran, I know what you want. I know why you wanted me to play along with your fake dating plan. I know why you keep trying to hang out with me," she told me, her voice cold and distant. For a second, I thought she was done and that she just wanted me to stop being around her.

It wasn't until she got up from her chair with her coffee cup and whispered to me that I knew she was smarter than anyone on this planet.

"I also know that you asked Ms. Walton for a tutor, and for that tutor to be me. I also happen to know that the report card that you showed me was fake. You have quite good grades, Kyran. For someone who told me that they messed up Sophomore Year."

With that, she left me there bewildered. She knew everything, but for how long? When did she find out that I lied to her? How long had she pretended? I watched as she chatted with the barista for a few seconds before leaving.

Look back at me.

Turn around.

Look.

Please.

She didn't. She left the shop, and I knew I had messed up.

Again.

Love is a real paradox.

⋆·˚ ༘ *

Hola readers,

Yeah, I just casually dropped a bomb randomly and hope that you guys are as shooketh as Kyran is. Anyways, you might've noticed that this chapter is slightly shorter than my normal almost 4K ones. Some peeps have told me that shorter chapters are easier to read. So, I would appreciate any opinions of shorter vs longer chapters.

If people do prefer reading shorter chapters, I will re-edit some of the older 4.5K + chapters and split them into two for convenience. Maybe add some glitter and magic to those chapters as well... we'll see.

Also, I'm on my break from college. And now, I'm sick. So, great turn of events. Pretty tragic. But oh well...🤧

Also, a special shoutout to a special reader/friend who I coerced, I mean...encouraged to join a book club with me. DynamiteMochii THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOR YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS. I know you're gonna read this chapter very very soon so haha have fun. 😛

That's all I wish to say this week, apart from... if you are a dystopia enthuasiast, check out my ONC novella 'The World's End', available on my profile. 😁

Love you lots, 🤗

Audrey. 💕😘