The troops assembled in solemn silence. My heart weighed my chest, wondering whether I'd hear the carefree chatter at a muster any time soon. I clenched my fists while the centurions reported in, schooling my face into a calm mask. We'd get through it. We must.

"I'm looking for two scores of volunteers to go after the cultists who had murdered our wounded and our venerable High Scribe," I started without a preamble. "Make no mistake! This mission is conducted in service to me, Ismar of Palmyr, personally, not the Deadhead Company."

The women stirred as one. The load on my heart lightened when I noticed how many eyes brightened.

"Second-in-command Ondrey will oversee the regular operations while I'm on leave. His first order of business is to recruit a new High Scribe until we have one sent from Char-Kermen."

Ondrey stood like a rock, too disciplined to object, but his jowls worked. His wide brows furrowed into one thick line of disapproval. He would badger me later, that was a given. For now, he helped me with the volunteers without a word of complaint as was his duty. It also helped to lighten my heart.

Now, where volunteers were concerned, a black-skinned adolescent kept stepping forward despite being dismissed every time. She had neither arms, nor armor, nor did she make clear to me who the Vash-waters she was. She just reappeared before me and stared with mute resentment.

"Who the Vash-waters are you?" I asked impatiently once she had materialized for the third time like a ghost over a grave.

"Tipene, Your Grandissima!" She snapped to attention, already taller than me, though I doubted she was a day older than fifteen. From Tverizh to Bhar, people were born taller than what was normal in Palmyr, a fact that made traveling infuriating.

"I worked in the infirmary with my mother. Only, we argued, and I ran away to climb the cliffs... that's why I'm alive, Your Grandissima. And she... she's not." She held back from crying by a shred. Her large brown eyes were already swollen, yet her report was coherent. I liked the iron in her spine.

"Is Tipene our missing nurse?" I asked my entourage and received the nods confirming my guess.

This narrowed down the list of suspected traitors to two: the missing guard and Parneres himself. Parneres had regained consciousness while I was away. The memory of him choosing his cousin over freedom branded my heart like Scorpia on the cultists' skin for ten years. If he did this again--I couldn't bear thinking of it, so I didn't.

This leaves us two suspects, the guard and Parneres.

Back to the girl. She earned my attention.

"Your Grandissima, what we quarreled over with my mother... it was about..." She dry-swallowed before regaining her composure. "I wanted to join the Company. And my mother beat me up a little, owing to how I must carry on the family business, not traipse around the world. So, I volunteer to kill these Scorpia monsters and join the Company."

"And you are how old?" I asked her.

"Eighteen already!" she blurted, shamelessly using the fact that her fortunate complexion didn't show blush.

If she were eighteen, so was I. Under no circumstances I would take this untrained, untested girl into the desert on a hunt after a squad of Scorpia assassins!

But, but, but... the fire in her eyes spelled trouble. A mother in me sickened seeing the defiance, while the younger me understood it.

Mythra only knows what a girl of that age, whatever it actually was, could think herself capable of! Better give her a reasonable quest, before she devised something crazy on her own.

"A noble desire, Tipene, but the Company is short-handed in the infirmary. If you wish to be of service and prove yourself worthy, there you will stay and work like I'm standing over your shoulder and watch your every move. If I'm satisfied with the reports of your performance after I return, I'll sign you on."

The calculations going on inside her head showed up as lip-chewing. I held back the smile at the guileless ways of youth.

"But the priestesses!" Tipene said, after she had worked it all out, "once they know that my mother is dead, they'll come to take me to Tashaya's temple and stick me with the other orphans!"

Ondrey stepped around me. "I'll tell them that the Company conscripted you into Queen's service. Now, report to your post, volunteer."

The paternal note in his voice made me smile all the way to the stables. We would ride camels because this chase could take us far from the wells and into the wasteland of the sand dunes from the narrow mudstone valleys. I should pick the least objectionable one... a long and ungrateful task.

Ondrey caught up to me in two giant strides.

"Ismar," he rumbled, "You're not going on this insane expedition without me."

I grabbed his arm. The solid bulge of muscle felt sturdier under my fingers than the chain mail covering it. That was what I needed from him, this solid quality. I pushed him until he backed into the nearest tent and ducked inside.

Once we were out of the view of the scurrying soldiers, I covered his mouth with my hand. "Ondrey, I need your sturdy heart. If I don't return..." My voice dropped to a rugged whisper. "If I die, travel to Char-Kermen immediately. Under no circumstances mount rescue expeditions. Surrender command and go home."

His lips moved in protest, but I sealed them tighter.

"Take Kozima and the girls to Palmyr as fast as you can. There is a priestess there, Anastasia. She'll put up airs, but she'll marry Kozima and take the girls in. Kozima knows..."

"And me?" he mumbled into the palm of my hand.

"You go to Miccola. She'll make sure you're on the roster and she'll keep an eye on Marezhka. You'll lose your officer's pay, but with the widow's pension, it should be enough to keep you well until Marezhka comes of age and can take care of you."

Finally, I could take a breath in. It felt good to be done with it. Better than a letter. I released the lock on his mouth, grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him. "Do this, Ondrey. I need you to promise me that you'll do it!"

"Under one condition," he said after a tortured silence.

I stopped kissing him. "Yes?"

"I hadn't done it in years, so it won't last long, but I'll take on the falcon's form. I'll fly over the desert. If I spot the Scorpia, I'll give you a heading."

I nodded. "That's great! I didn't know you could still do that."

"That's... I can do it." Doubt flickered in his eyes, but he girded his loins. "If the drug-addled slut leads you in any other direction, kill him, and come back. Then we'll do what the Queen pays us to do and go home. Yes?"

I licked the taste of him off of my lips. "Wait. Could you scout more than once? After you rest?"

His big honest face creased in the inner struggle between wanting to come with me under any pretext, his duty and never lying to me.

I solved it for him. "Don't bother to lie. And don't break bones if your body can no longer transform. Please, sweetheart... I can't give up on Parneres, but I have to know that you and Kozima will be taken care of if I--." I couldn't say die, so I let it trail off.

"Understood," he said, unfastening his cloak. "But I need you to promise what I've asked for, before I promise to obey."

"I swear on Mythra's brave heart that I'll kill Taffiz if he betrays us," I said immediately. Nothing would give me more pleasure than killing a Scorpia. Save maybe for--

"Then I promise to do as you'd asked as well."

I exhaled in relief. "Thank you!"

"Don't look, please," Ondrey asked softly. As much as my curiosity gnawed on me, I stepped outside to squat against the tent. He didn't ask me not to listen.

There was a rustle and jingle of clothes and mail, the familiar sound of the bundle of woven metal rings tumbling from the shoulder's height to the sand, then heavy breathing... and more heavy breathing. He was biting back screams... I jumped to my feet, ready to burst into the tent--

There was a thud and a muffled cry.

Mythra's fangs! My beautiful and stupid husband had fainted and--

A crazed bird tore out of the tent. The falcon had brown feathers flecked with gold and blue eyes. Ondrey's powerful wings took him high into the sky before I could notice anything else familiar about the bird. I shielded my eyes from the sun, but it was no use. Ondrey-as-a-falcon had already melted into the horizon.

I stood glued to one spot reminding myself that he was searching and I had to prepare for the grueling march through the desert. Finally, my feet moved, and the list of things to do pushed back everything else.

My heart skipped a beat when Tipene came running to me at twilight. "Infirmary!" she puffed. "Your Grandissima! Infirmary..."

Ondrey was stretched on a cot in the infirmary tent, his limbs swollen and bruises shadowing every joint. He took one look at my face and steepled his brows in exasperation. "Don't look at me like that. I'm far too old for boyish games, that's all."

I pinched my lips, holding back my scorn, for it was useless, and motioned for the nurses to leave. "Did you see them?"

"Yes. They're heading due east and south, towards the Screaming Sands."

"The Screaming Sands..." I repeated. There were the Screaming Sands, the Sighing Sands, the Cruel Sands, the Hissing Sands and twenty other sands on my map. Not a single Merry Grove or Gurgling Brook. That way, the traveler wasn't hanging in suspense about what she would find along the way. There would be sand, lots of sand, nothing but sand, and it would be a nightmare.

"Thank you. Precious information, but dearly bought." I surveyed bruises, inflammation and the net of stress tears that the transformation opened in his flesh. Most of the cuts looked skin deep, but some gushes bled still. I saw no other man bleed as much as Ondrey, but the sight became no more pleasant just because I was used to it.

"Are you going to be well?" Of all the useless questions! But I had already asked.

"It's nothing, Ismar. Scratches." To betray his own lies, he winced when Tipene returned and stuck a needle into his mangled flesh.

I held his hand, while she stitched and plastered the cuts. The excessive enthusiasm with which she bit off the thread told me that the girl wanted to patch him up in time to watch my hunting party's departure at nightfall.

I ignored her and her hopes. This might well be the last look I took at Ondrey, and I made it a lengthy one.

"I swear, Ondrey, I would kill Taffiz if he proves untrue. Same for Parneres," I whispered into his ear. "And Bhutas burn it, I ordered you to quit if the transformation didn't go well."

"It went well," he insisted.

I scoffed.

His brows came together into one stubborn line. "Had to."

I kissed him awkwardly, trying not to disturb the thousand medical patches.

Tipene watched me like a hawk with the bowl of the pungent salve at the ready. I found the medicine woman in charge with my eyes. She straightened from inventorying Phedoxia's supplies and waved for me to get going. The irritation in that gesture made me breathe easier. If Ondrey was gravely wounded, they wouldn't be miffed. They would chase me away and work like Bhutas to stabilize him.

On stiff legs I walked to the exit, chain mail jingling. I was used to kissing Kozima in a farewell, but Ondrey followed me everywhere for years. Everywhere... I flipped the flap of the pavilion open, and... it was like I was stuck in a swamp.

I mouthed, I swear to him from the threshold.

A resigned sigh answered me.

"I love you, Ondrey. May Mythra favor you."

He echoed both statements. For a heartbeat, my head pounded. Fool, what a fool was I! Why was I chasing a Fata Morgana, why was I risking my life, when I had everything worth living for right in front of me? I didn't find an answer in my head or my heart, but the medicine woman screamed at me about not letting in the flies. My legs moved.

Five days had passed since I left my husband to chase my oldest enemy and my first love into the desert.

Taffiz didn't give me a reason to doubt him so far. His initial heading was what Ondrey gave me, south and east. Next, we wound our way through a long wadi, then ventured deeper and deeper into the expanse of the orange sands. The sands were screaming, so it sounded about right. The watering hole we came upon on the third day was unspoiled.

I even relaxed enough to sleep through the fourth night, but now Taffiz rode ahead, to the crest of a dune. There, he sat motionless for a time. Long enough for doubts to claw at my gut. I swore and urged my dromedary up the curving slope.

Taffiz didn't greet me on my approach, merely pressing Ashanti pomander closer to his nose.

I spat in disgust, then regretted it. Every drop of moisture was precious in the Whatever Sands. "How can you even sit straight with this much Ashanti?"

"Because I'm not an addict, Your Grandissima. I'm an Ashanti seer. A huge difference. I sniff to track Parneres. We share a connection that permits me to do so."

"What kind of a connection?"

"Intimate," the man replied with a brazen gaze locked onto me. Then he smirked. "A few hairs from his head are burning with Ashanti."

A shiver passed through me when I remembered catching him spying on me... did he take anything of mine? What? And when? How many times did his hand touch my belongings without my knowledge? I didn't want the answers, but it was there, carved in the satisfied twist of his lips. Many things, many times, many times this man violated my privacy. I gnashed my teeth.

"If my well-being is of such concern to you," the rogue said in the meantime, "I don't need Ashanti any longer. I know where Peleth is heading."

With a wild yelp, he kicked his dromedary, and the beast surged down the dune's slope in a cloud of sand. His gray headscarf flapped wildly after him. Not to be outdone, I nudged my mount forward, yelling, "Where?"

"Nowhere good," he muttered as we sat in the tiny sliver of shadow, waiting for the rest of my squad to catch up. "Nowhere good."

I stuck to him like a burr to a dog's tail. "Where?"

"Save your water, Your Grandissima. You don't want your lush lips to crack. You don't want kissing Parneres to hurt, do you?"

Dry lips or moist, it would hurt anyway.

"You could have given me Parneres years ago," I hissed. "You knew I wanted him, you knew where he was and where I was. None of this would have been necessary. He was tortured because of your insolence!"

"Hmm... Should I have given you Parneres after you've thanked me so sweetly for Breva?" Taffiz asked mockingly.

I kicked the dromedary with my heels and raced away from the abominable man. Or I wanted to. Deserts might be empty, but the landscape forms are gigantic and have the same beige shade and the same shape in all directions, at least to a newcomer. A straggler could get lost in minutes. Those who get lost in a desert don't live long productive lives. Also, the less said about the horrors of riding camels, the better.

So, I stopped, unwound the flap of my headscarf, dabbed sweat off my face, re-wrapped it around my mouth and trotted back in the foulest of moods. Five days in the heat made Tongola feel like a lush valley. We choked down dried gerbil meat with drier flatbread. We chased a mad assassin. It all was taking its toll.

Taffiz leaned over in his saddle, gesticulating for me to ride faster. The Ashanti wore off, so his eyes didn't have enough color to flash majestically in his face. Nevertheless, I read urgency in his gaze. I expected another lecture on staying close to him, but he pointed at something on the horizon with his riding whip.

I peered and saw nothing except for dancing patches of light, because tears welled up as soon as I looked up, despite the scarf overhanging into my eyes.

"The sandstorm is coming," Taffiz said. "We must make sacrifices to survive."

"What kind of sacrifices?"

"You'll see when the time comes."

Only my heart-rending love for Parneres stopped me from pointing the dromedary's snotty nose toward the sand storm and riding headlong into it, dragging Taffiz behind on a rope.

"This I'm-so-enigmatic act doesn't add to your charm, sweetheart," I muttered and bit my lip too late. He was already grinning at the endearment.

Mythra's fangs! This slip of tongue meant nothing. In my line of business, I rarely talked to men save for Ondrey, that's all! I was damned for not trusting Taffiz before, now I was damned for ignoring the warnings in my heart and trusting him for one heartbeat!

Naturally, the arrogant fool was grinning like he'd won an epic victory.

This... this rogue!