katie porter
- january 4, 2020 -

            YOU KNOW THAT MOMENT WHEN you're standing at the edge of a cliff? You get that small boost of courage to peak over the side. Yet, as soon as you do look, your stomach drops into your shoes and you feel as if you might actually throw up.

            That's kind of what waiting on Caleb felt like. The adrenaline junk in me said to dive over the side, but the little voice in the back of my head told me to stay on the shore. Stay cautious. Don't do anything drastic. Take things step by step.

            Sitting on the couch, my legs bounced in sequence and I twisted my ring over and over again. If he didn't get here soon, I might just hop in the shower and start again. That would be the worst possible decision, but I've always been incredibly good at those.

            I stood, grabbed the bottom of the graphic tee and pulled it over my head. On my way to the bathroom, I left a trail of clothes behind me. Unclipping my necklace and bracelets, I set them next to the sink for safe keeping.

            Water poured from the shower head and ran down my arm when I tested the temperature. Goosebumps prickled across my skin. I hopped in and let the water wash away my nerves. Music thumped from the speaker stuck to the wall. The thought of Caleb's kiss entered my mind. That was something I could get used to; kissing Caleb.

            The sound cut off abruptly by the ringing of my phone. I jumped and scrambled to finish the shower before the ringing ended, even though I knew it was nearly impossible. Really, what was the fun of having limitations if you didn't push them every once in a while.

            I had just enough time to wrap my towel around my body when my phone started singing again. Caleb's name rolled across the screen. My heart leaped suddenly in my chest. I dried my hands the best I could before answering.

            "Hey," I could practically hear him smiling through the phone, "I'm outside."

            "Shit," I fumbled with the leg of my skinny jeans, "fuck." I wiggled them up and pulled the towel tight around my upper body.

            I yanked open the door and smiled, "Sorry, shower." Looking down at myself, I cringed. Water dripped from the ends of my hair and the January wind nipped at my bare shoulders.

            Caleb laughed, "It's okay, I understand. Take your time."

            "Come in," I moved out of the way and gestured to the couch, "I won't take much longer, promise."

            His eyes wandered down before bouncing back up to meet mine, "Isn't that what they all say?"

            "Give me five minutes. That's all I need."

            Glancing at his watch, he chuckled, "Not a sentence every guy wants to hear."

            I covered my mouth to stop myself from snorting in laughter, "Just sit down and shut up."

            He tapped a finger against his lips, drawing my attention to them. He pretended to zip them shut and flopped down on the couch. Gesturing to the bathroom, a goofy grin played against his lips.

            Rolling my eyes, I flipped him off with a sweet smile. He reached out and pulled me on top of him, my legs straddling his. His hand slid behind my neck and he brought me close. Smiling, he planted a kiss on my lips then pulled away.

            Neither of us went to move. Then his hands slipped into my wet hair and he was kissing me again. Settling into him, I pushed the kiss deeper. His hands moved to my shoulders and he broke the kiss. We breathed heavy, but smiled.

            "We have reservations."

            My thoughts went from zero to one hundred and I hummed, "Food."

            I threw back on the clothes that wrinkled from laying on the bathroom floor. I put my hair back with a clip and make-up? Forget about it. I had no time this go around; blow drying my hair took up all the time I did have. With this frost, I wasn't going out there with dripping wet hair.

            I barely had time to grab my jacket by the front door when Caleb took my hand and pulled me from the apartment. He drove us across town, taking a turn behind the college and to a small outside mall. Squished between a local jewelry shop and a crystal store sat an intimate sushi place.

            When he parked, he turned to me, "Don't move."

            He grinned and exited the car. Trotting around to my side, he opened the door and gave a small bow as he went. Ridiculous really.

            "I can get my own door you know," I climbed out of the passenger seat, adjusting my jacket.

            He smiled, "I'm aware. I just want to do this right and that means getting your door. It also means some surprises."

            "Surprises? So, I'm guessing we're not going to dinner as planned?"

            "We are, but we're eating there," he gestured to the sushi restaurant.

            I laughed, a smile growing on my face, "You're kidding."

            "Nope," he winked, "I know you've always wanted to try it and tonight you're going to."

            Shaking my head, I tried to bite down another smile, "Why do you remember that? I mentioned it one time like three years ago."

            "And it's on your bucket list which you showed me last you. So, in all reality, I'm only remembering it from last year, not three years ago." He grabbed my hand and we went inside. Everything was dark wood and red accents. We sat in a corner booth with only one other couple seated towards the front.

            Caleb ordered a few different options for the two of us to piece on. We joked around and talked about anything that came to mind; everything except for the elephant in the room and her name was Melissa.

            After dinner we sat out front of the Kensington Cinema with our hands on our stomachs. How Caleb expected us to even think about popcorn after the meal we just ate blew my mind. I was practically sitting there in a food coma.

            I turned to look around the parking lot, but not a single person was in view. I would have thought that we'd see at least someone going up to buy tickets. It was like a ghost town around that asphalt parking lot.

            Caleb gave my thigh a gentle pat and smiled, "Would it be terrible if I asked to get your door again?"

            Rolling my eyes, I gestured to my side, "Knock yourself out, Stud."

            He smiled, jumped from his seat and raced around the car. He opened the door and I took his hand when he offered it to me. We walked up to the glass. A short, red haired woman smiled over at us. She pushed up her glasses and leaned towards the microphone.

            "Hey, guys." Her voice melted the frost that clung to the air around us. I watched the blonde man next to her suck in a breath, "What can I do for you?"

            Caleb scanned the times and then looked at his watch. His brows knitted together and he looked over the board again, "Didn't you have a showing for The Rhythm Section at 7:30?"

            "Oh," her face turned about as red as her hair, "not today."

            "Really?" He asked, "I could have sworn it was on your site."

            The man barely glanced her way before stepping closer and speaking into the microphone, "Our showtimes can change depending on the day, are you sure it had today's date at the top of the screen?"

            Caleb rubbed his temple, his shoulders deflating, "No. I checked yesterday."

            The woman looked down at the computer, "Well, that's alright. We have more showings, but not until later this evening." She looked at the man standing next to her before she turned her attention back to us.

            "Well, damn," Caleb shook his head and checked the time on his watch once more, "thank you though."

            Grabbing my hand, he guided me back towards the car. The girl called out to us and I looked back to send her a wave. She smiled brightly; the kind that brightened everything about her. That's probably why the man next to her couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of her for very long.

            Sliding into the car, I waited for Caleb to round the other side and climb in. He started the engine and cranked up the heater to full blast, "I'm sorry. This isn't how I planned for us to end the night."

            I couldn't help but laugh, "Kind of seems like a common theme with us, doesn't it? Things not going as planned."

            Glancing my way, he smiled, "It really does."

            "But who says it has to be the end? I know exactly what we should do." I grabbed his hand and placed it on the gear shift, "You trust me, don't you?"

            "Of course. Always."

            The smile that exploded on my face couldn't get any bigger at that point, even if I tried, "Great, pull onto the main road."

            I directed him across town and around the back side of the college again. A large steel building sat alone at the far side of the campus. Caleb parked out front and I jumped from my seat. Halfway to the building, I twisted around and yelled back at him.

            "Well, come on!" With the key already in hand, I opened the door and flipped on the lights. Beams of light bounced off the ice rink floor. Even given the chill for the ice, it still beat the weather outside.

            Caleb stood timid at the door. Wavering between coming in and staying out, "Are we allowed to be in here?"

            "Trust me, it's fine. Mike said I can use the rink whenever I want as long as I clean and lock up before I leave. He really doesn't care."

            I walked over, grabbed his hand and pulled him into the building, the door shutting behind him, "Let's get you in some skates."

            It took several minutes to find skates for Caleb and get him all laced up. I grabbed my skates out of my locker and slipped them on with much more ease. I took his hand and dragged him straight to the ice.

            A comfortable, home-like feeling washed over me. My shoulders no longer tensed up and that knot in my stomach disappeared. Caleb wobbled in his place. Laughing, I held onto his arm, trying to keep him up right.

            Once he was steady, I dropped his arm and took off around the rink. A slow smile built on my face. I skated towards him and leaped into the air, spinning around before landing on one foot and continuing backwards.

            "Is that what you do when you compete?"

            I glanced over my shoulder, "Among other things."

            On unsteady legs, Caleb caught up to me and threw his arms around my shoulders, "How do you continue to impress me all the time?"

            "Because you're not friends with anyone else."

            "I have other friends."

            I shrugged my shoulders, "None as cool as me."

            His arms tightened, "Definitely not."

            I held onto his arms and pulled him behind me as I went. All he had to do now was keep balanced.

            I laughed every time he fell and he clapped every time I did a fancy spin or jump. It was nice that I could actually impress someone who wasn't Ann-Marie. With a tournament looming overhead along with everything else, it was nice to know someone thought it was wonderful.

            I took his hands and moved backwards for a while. His eyes crinkled at the corners. Every time he looked at me, it sent a little flutter through my ribcage. He grabbed my elbow and pulled himself up to me. Leaning in, his hand slid up. They were ice cold, but I still managed to smile.

            He kissed me then. Soft and gentle; like we had all the time in the world to spend in this moment and in each other's arms. But who really had that?

            Who actually had all the time in the world?