In Your Arms ~ Saib

(Monday, 5pm)

"He said he would fire me, I think he was actually serious too... ugh this sucks!" Midorikawa had, once again, earned the ire of his boss.

"Relax, he's not gonna fire you, you're friends after all." Hiroto reassured, fixing himself a cup of coffee, his fourth cup of the day, the phone balanced precariously between his shoulder and his ear.

Midorikawa huffed, stepping around some dog poo in the middle of the pavement "You're the problem you know! You're too irresistible. You and Afuro both..." he said with air quotes.
'I really wish people would clean up after their pets.'

Hiroto could be heard laughing on the other end "You think he's irresistible too Mido?"
Midorikawa rolled his eyes "Of course! You've seen him Kiyama, He's like a god compared to us!" He admitted. Out of all of them, not even Fuusuke, with his icy cold looks was a match for the blonde beauty that was Afuro Terumi. The green-haired man waved a hand in front of his face, not wanting to get off topic "But that's besides the point- he always takes up too much of my breaks and makes me late!"

"Then maybe stop hanging out with him on your breaks?" Hiroto offered helpfully.
"And miss out on the goss? Please!" The other replied, now it was Hiroto's turn to roll his eyes. He'd memorised his boyfriend's routine pretty well by now- Midorikawa left for his lunch break every day at noon, and every day without fail he would walk thirty minutes into town just to see Afuro. Hiroto was surprised the two of them hadn't run out of things to talk about by now.
'Who are you kidding, Afuro always has something to talk about!'
"Oh I forgot to tell you but...how would you feel about me bringing a friend home?" Midorikawa said suddenly, his voice more serious now.

Hiroto put the mug of coffee he'd made down, moving the phone to his other ear "A friend? God it's not Saginuma is it?"
"What, of course not, do you think I have a death wish?!" Midorikawa spluttered, there was no way in hell he'd ever- "No but uh...so don't freak out but like Saginuma gave me this little puppy to look after and-"
"-A puppy?"
"Yeah a little pittie. Just for nursing and because he said I'm good with the little ones so..."
For some reason he was embarrassed to say it, it wasn't everyday he got praised by his boss, well he hardly ever did. Most of the time was spent with Saginuma berating him about his punctuality, or just glaring at him, judging silently from across the operating table.

"He called me...a good vet Kiyama... like he really actually meant it..."
It felt so foreign to him, to actually feel proud about his work.
'Thanks asshole.'
It really was strange.

"So you're bringing it here?"
Midorikawa snapped out of his thoughts, just in time to see a car come careening down the road, he jumped back in shock as the driver blasted the horn at him.
"ASSHOLE!" He yelled, even though it was partially his fault for not paying attention.

He quickly checked the carrier he was holding to see that the little puppy was okay, maybe a little startled, but otherwise alright. "Sorry about that."
"You okay?" Hiroto asked worriedly.
"Yeah just idiot drivers is all."

"So about the dog."
Midorikawa stopped, shifting the carrier from one arm to the other, his bag sure was heavy today. He wished he knew how to drive. 'Saginuma could've at least given me a lift...asshole..."

"You think it'll be okay, I mean with the cats that is."
Midorikawa chuckled, despite the straining weight he was under "The cats will be fine, they've been around other fosters you know? And stop calling him 'it'."

"Oh, I didn't know you fostered." Hiroto asked, taking a sip of his coffee before recoiling at how hot it was.

"Just the sick ones, cats, dogs, even a lamb once- Potato loved that lamb, she used to run around after potato on her prosthetic legs. And Saginuma was so sure she wasn't gonna make it. But she did, she pulled through (thanks to me) and we were able to return her to her owners in just a few months. I was sad to see her go really, and I'm sure the cats missed her, but it was for the best." Midorikawa reminisced fondly.

Hiroto's eyes widened "Wow Mido, I had no idea you were so...hands on."

"I suppose there's a lot you don't know about me..."

Midorikawa and Hiroto, they'd spent the majority of their lives together up til adulthood, but so much had happened in both of their lives since that point; and Midorikawa had been determined to avoid any and all interaction with Hiroto since then. Of course, he'd found out what Hiroto had been up to all these years from Nagumo and Suzuno-well mostly Nagumo since he can't keep his mouth shut. Midorikawa laughed quietly 'I'm so glad I listened to them'
"What's funny?"
"Oh nothing, I was just...thinking...thinking about us y'know?"
Hiroto smiled, and he could tell his boyfriend was smiling on the other end too. "Well, I'm always happy to learn more about you, every little thing, to make up for all the time we spent apart. You still amaze me Ryuuji."

Midorikawa, at this point, became a flustered mess. "S-shut up you adorable piece of-" he mumbled, cursing under his breath. 'Damn Kiyama.' He cleared his throat as he passed a couple on the street, not wanting to look or sound like a flustered weirdo "Anyway."
"Anyway!" Hiroto mocked back, a grin on his face.

"Yeah well anyway, there was something else I wanted to ask you."
"If it's about that documentary-" Hiroto, who had since moved from the kitchen to the living room, said before sitting down heavily on the couch, almost spilling his coffee "-the one about the those ferrets? I recorded it for you, don't worry. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice!" He beamed.
"No it's not that-but thanks for remembering- it's about that company." Midorikawa stopped to press the button on the zebra crossing, taking another moment to check in on the little pit bull puppy-it seemed fine. "That historical magazine- I got a call from them today saying my piece went down really well, they want me to write another one." He continued.

"Ah that's great news, see I told you they would like it!"
Midorikawa sighed "Yeah it's great and all, and I really want to, but Saginuma's got me on double shifts for the next three weeks, and with taking care of this little boy too, I just don't think it's possible." he said despairingly. The light turned green and he crossed the road, he was only a few minutes away from home.

"Well, if these people really like you I'm sure they can be patient for you, besides, there's no one I know who's better at getting a massive amount of work done in a short period of time than you Ryuuji." Hiroto encouraged, petting Potato who had jumped onto the couch and snuggled up next to him. "And hey, double shifts? This must mean that Saginuma wants you around after all!"
Midorikawa laughed "Well no it's because half of the staff are sick, but I see your point. Maybe, just maybe, I've gone up in his book? Just a tiny bit?" He reasoned, hoping it was true-sure Saginuma had called him 'good' for the first time since they'd been working together, but the man was by no means that easily persuaded about someone. Especially someone he was so close too. 'You know he only pushes you so hard because he knows how much potential you have to grow? He just wants you at your best Ryuuji.'

Midorikawa smiled as he turned the corner of his road, their house sat right in the middle.

The sun is beginning to dip below the waves, the crashing, circling water can be heard through the open windows of the house. The place is a mess of papers, clothing, cakes and flowers, Tachimukai is standing in the kitchen with his fiancé, one slipper missing from his feet.
Tachimukai furiously hides his face from both his fiancé and his soon to be sister-in-law who's seemingly taken up residence in their home.
"It's not funny!"

"I mean, it is rather funny." Iako remarks, ticking something off the checklist; probably the flowers, Lord knows they have enough of those, they practically fill every corner of the house.

Tsunami sighed tiredly "It's really not that bad Yuuki, I'm sure it'll go down in no time." He says softly, walking over and cupping his fiancé's face in his hands, Yuuki hissed in pain.

It really is a beautiful colour, the colour Yuuki makes when he's embarrassed. Except this time it's all over him, cherry pink, staining his skin.
Tachimukai swatted the other away, tears forming in the corner of his eyes "Look at my face Jousuke! I thought you said it was waterproof!" He yelled in anguish, the taller male rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly "I thought that's what it said." He looked down, genuinely sorry for his actions "I'm sorry, it was my mistake."

Tsunami once again made a move towards his fiancé, hesitating before wrapping his arms around the other very gently, barely touching him, the rose red colour peeking out of Tachimukai's tank top.
Iako sighed in disbelief at the awkward couple.
"I can't believe you two. You." She pointed at her brother "What's the point in getting glasses if you aren't going to wear them?"

Tsunami, who was still (barely) hugging his fiancé, looked over his shoulder at his sister and pouted "They make me feel... old!"
"Ugh, you're hopeless Jousuke." She put her hands on her hips "And you, Yuuki, it's not my brother's fault that your pasty ass can't handle Sun-you need to take responsibility in making sure you don't turn into a giant tomato. Because, as we've seen, Jousuke's pretty useless."

Tsunami clutched his heart "Ouch! Message received loud and clear Iako! And by the way, I'm the only one who's allowed to make fun of Tachi's pasty ass!" He said with a grin, Tachimukai elbowed him in the gut "Stop saying I have a pasty ass!" he yelled embarrassedly, walking out of the pseudo-hug into the middle of the room.
"I mean, he would know." Iako said cheekily
"Actually, it's quite tanned now, not pale anymore." Tsunami answered honestly, shaking his head. The hue of Tachimukai's cheeks now matched the rest of his sunburnt body.
"Can you stop talking about my ass!" he yelled, more embarrassed than ever. He breathed in deeply, their little home felt so claustrophobic lately, so stuffy, their house was full to bursting with all their wedding stuff; so much of it. There was so much...shit everywhere...

He needed to calm down.
'Calm down Yuuki. What's gotten into you?'
The brunette snapped his head up, staring between the two Tsunami siblings who seemed to be having a conversation. He was sure one of them had uttered those words.
'You need to calm down Yuuki. Stop getting so angry, it's not you!' No. That was his voice.
Yuuki couldn't help but agree with his inner monologue though, lately he'd found himself increasingly losing his temper, getting frustrated over the smallest of things. That wasn't like him at all- sure he was the kind of guy to get stressed easily, to get anxious and nervous and worry about a million and one different ways the day could go wrong; but things always seemed to go okay in the end, with Tsunami's support he'd managed to see himself in a better light, believe in himself. So sure, he could get anxious, but he never got angry at people (well asides from his parents-they were a novelty).

Tachimukai was getting worried.
He needed to calm himself down before he said something he'd regret.

'I know weddings are stressful but...this is something else.'
He looked down at the one slipper he was wearing, scratched and chewed upon, the other having been stolen by Poppy.
He hasn't seen the dog since the morning.
Maybe he shouldn't have screamed at her the way he did last night when he found her chewing on yet another one of his favourite socks.
'That's just what dogs do Yuuki.'

"Oh, and it looks like Chun won't be available on the 24th." Iako stated, looking through the email list on her phone.
"Who?" Tsunami asked.
"The photographer, I'll have to hire someone else." His sister answered, chewing on her lip a little.
'It just keeps getting worse.'
"And we still need to confirm with that guy- what's his name?-"
"-Min-Jae." Tachimukai said with a sigh. He'd been trying to get a hold of him for the past week and a half.

"Yeah him, we need to confirm with him about setting up stuff for the beach, just regulations stuff. It's pretty boring so I'll deal with that." She said with a smile.
Tsunami patted his sister on the back "Thank you! I'm sure he'll help us- I did save his life after all." He added smugly, Iako raised her eyebrow "Jousuke, you and I both know he wasn't in any danger. And he certainly didn't need you to drag him out of the water and carry him down the beach fireman style."
"It put me in the local paper though." Tsunami answered with a chuckle. On any other day Tachimukai would have loved the opportunity to hear that story. Iako just laughed at her brother's antics before remembering something "Ah, I almost forgot! We need to give the venue for the reception an answer, because I heard from a little birdie that there's another party that wants it too."

Tachimukai brought a hand down his face then hissed remembering how sunburnt he was, he was going to say something when his fiancé beat him to it. "Why don't we just hold the reception here?"
"Here?" Iako asked, looking around the small house- well it only looked small since it was so cluttered.
Tsunami grinned "Yeah, that place was too stuffy anyway, not really us y'know? Besides if we're having the wedding on the beach then I think it will be nice to bring the party back here instead of making everyone drive into town. And the garden's the perfect size anyway- it'll be perfect!" Iako thought for a second, muttering under her breath, Tachimukai caught the words 'rustic' 'reclaimed wood' and 'mason jars'. Iako beamed "Actually that sounds like a wonderful idea! Wouldn't you agree Tachimukai?"

"Uh I- yeah I...suppose.." Tsunami was right, the place they'd seen was really nice but it didn't feel like somewhere he'd choose. Well...not that he has any clue where he would choose for his wedding anyway... 'I chose the beach right? Wasn't that my decision? Or did I just choose it because I knew Jousuke would like it? Isn't that what marriage is all about though, making each other happy? Should I have chosen somewhere flashier, more traditional, somewhere I won't get burnt to a crisp? I need to get a job soon, I can't keep relying on Tsunami, I need to support him, his family's paying for the whole wedding after all and I've not contributed one bit!'
'You paid for the flowers.'
The flowers.
His gaze shifted to the bouquets of white roses that littered the small room, they were everywhere. Iako followed his eye line, rubbing the back of her neck "Okay so the flowers were early but we can deal with that-"
"-they're already wilting, they'll be dead by the wedding!" He snapped, of course it could get worse, he knew it would get worse.
'You're the one who put down the wrong date'

"Then we'll just buy some more then." Tsunami said tiredly, he still smiled but it was so obvious how exhausted he was, too many late nights with Tachimukai worrying about every single minute detail.

"But that's..."
He should've expected that response from his fiancé, the Tsunami's seemingly never worried about money or practicalities. 'I know a wedding's an important day, and I do want it to be special but...Jesus why does this have to be so stressful?'

Tachimukai was once carefree, like Tsunami, like Endou. On his 16th birthday, he asked his parents for tickets to an Arctic Monkeys' concert. He never even thought about it, just expected his parents would buy them, which of course they did-they would do anything for their only child. Maybe that was why? Tachimukai always wondered how different life would be if he'd grown up with siblings.
Of course everything changed after that night, he'd lied to his parents for what was probably the first time ever-no he wasn't taking Kiyoko, the childhood friend his parents were always so sure he was going to end up with. He took Jousuke - And it was one of the best nights of his life.

The lies kept coming after that; small at first, and then bigger and bigger until he physically couldn't sit still, worried his parents would find out he was actually hanging out with his boyfriend instead of studying. He wasn't even doing anything wrong, he knew how his parents felt about relationships in general; he and Tsunami always kept things PG, but he was constantly gripped with panic. He couldn't focus, his grades suffered, and it was all so stupid. "You should just tell them" Tsunami had said, smiling as usual; Tachimukai didn't dare.

He was supposed to be going to university, studying to become a lawyer, even though he had no interst in the subject whatsoever. Instead he got stuck in a dead-end job, with a boss he hated, only to quit and run away like always, no job, no money, just relying on Tsunami for everything. He hated that. Hated having to rely on people for things. 'I'm an adult, I should do things for myself for a change'

"-Kaspa's? My treat." Apparently Iako was speaking again, now suddenly in front of the brunette with something in her hand. Tsunami seemed to be contemplating the idea, he nodded to himself before looking to his fiancé for agreement.
"Kaspa's?" Tachimukai croaked out, rubbing his throat-since when did his throat start hurting?

Iako smiled "Sure, you two have been working so hard, you deserve a nice meal at least. Now this might sting a bit." Tachimukai didn't quite have time to register that last bit before his skin lit up like fire.
"It stings!" He shouted, recoiling in pain. Iako gave him a sympathetic look. "Sorry, but if we don't put this on you're skin's gonna start peel-"
"I know!" Tachimukai cringed, not wanting to be reminded.

Iako finished up before digging around in her shorts for her car keys "I'll drive ya." The three headed over to the door just as the blur of black that was Poppy stormed into the room, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. Of all of the things that flew into the air, Tachimukai only noticed one- a flash of pale yellow, his eyes widened.

The invites.

How? When? How did they forget to fill them in? No wonder they hadn't received any RSVPs back...
He remembered starting to write them, back when he and Jousuke were excited about this whole wedding thing. But then life got in the way, stresses, early flower deliveries....
Tachimukai almost pulled a hand down his face before remembering how burnt he was "Jousuke, give me a hand with these. We'll finish them at Kaspa's then post them." He grumbled, shovelling the invites and the list of addresses they'd drawn up (they really had been prepared) into a small bag. Tsunami didn't argue, his fiancé didn't look like he was going to change his mind any time soon.

The three sat in a booth, steadily making their way through the massive stack of invites, only pausing between plates of bruschetta, cheeses and bread rolls. Yes, Tachimukai was tired and grumpy, but they'd decided to hand-write all the invites 'It will make them more personal' and Tachimukai would be damned if he didn't want to keep up with that expectation. The swanky restaurant they found themselves in used to be a small seaside cafe, Jousuke couldn't help but get nostalgic, after all, the table across from them had been where Tachimukai has asked him to be his boyfriend. He smiled inwardly.
"This one's done. Stamp." The chestnut haired man said before scanning the address list and scrawling the address on the pearl white envelope.
"Uh Yuuki..."

Of course, how could he have forgotten.
The sound of gulls and the soft splashing of the waves was the only thing that could be heard over the silence that had since fallen over the three.

The sound of gulls and the soft splash of the waves were welcome sounds to the younger of the two, a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of the city.
The two sat in the café, both younger, both more naive, both madly in love. Tachimukai loved coming here, loved seeing his boyfriend, even if it was only for the odd weekend. It meant so much to just be away from the work he loathed so much, from the particular person that made his life a living hell. He stared out of the window, the sky was turning a beautiful orange, it would be night soon.

He sighed and stirred his mocha sadly and looked up at his boyfriend. "I know I shouldn't keep complaining about my job, I know how lucky I am to have it, even if I hate it. It's not fair on you- we're supposed to be spending time together and all I ever do nowadays is complain about Shannon and work-"
"-and about your shower being broken." Tsunami continued, a smile breaking into his features. He held the other's hand, gently rubbing small circles into it. "I don't mind listening to your problems Yuuki, that's what couples do."
Tachimukai smiled lightly "A problem shared is a problem halved."
"Exactly." Tsunami answered, leaning over and kissing the other's cheek.

That was another thing Tachimukai loved about this little town, it had a prominent lgbt community and people were very open-minded. He was safe here.
"Anyway." He began, taking a sip of his coffee "Enough about me, what have you been up to?"
Tsunami leaned back, a pleased look on his face "I've finally got the surfing school up and running. Got all the social media pages up, and we've already had some interest in it."
Tachimukai smiled, his boyfriend had every reason to be pleased with himself, it had been a dream for so long and now it was finally becoming a reality. So he simply sat and watched, listened to the man he loved talk all about his plans, completely content and at peace. He didn't even glance up when the little wind chime outside the door rang and someone walked in.

The man walked in, shaggy brown hair looking lifeless and dull as it did most days, he had a thick black coat on even though it was a warm evening, the sleeve ends were frayed as if they had been chewed upon. Handa did not notice the other two, not that he would have had any reason to say hello to them, they were barely acquaintances; he was far too preoccupied anyway. His stomach rumbled as he stood in line at the counter, staring at the plates of freshly baked pastries on offer. He knew he couldn't, he'd only be able to get away with a drink, he was already taking too long. He needed a coffee, with lots of sugar, he was too exhausted and desperately needed something to keep him alert- Kaido would get mad at him if he fell asleep.

He was lost in thought when the cashier impatiently called on him, Handa walked forward mumbling an apology before shakily stating his order.
"¥285." The cashier stated flatly, a bored look on his face. Handa nodded before pulling out a worn-out looking wallet, pulling some coins out and counting them. He cursed as they fell on the floor, the sound reverberating in his ear as he struggled to pick them up. A line was forming behind him. He kept apologising, placing the coins down and attempting to count them, but he kept losing count. The man behind him began to grumble. The cashier huffed, noticing a debit card in the other's wallet "We can just take card you know."

Handa shook his head hastily, there was no money in his account. There had been very little in it before he ran away from home anyway, at first Kaido had bought everything for him, told Handa he didn't need to ever worry about money, 'I'll look after you Han' that man had said with his charming smile. Now Handa knew the only reason he'd said that was so he could manipulate him, control him.
Without money, Handa was at the mercy of his so-called boyfriend. He couldn't be independent, couldn't hop on a train back home, visit any of his friends, everything required money and Kaido controlled all of it. Handa was dependent on him for everything, he depended on him to be able to keep himself fed and warm. The brunette had been saving up, collecting the coins he found whilst cleaning up, sometimes even daring to dip into Kaido's pockets for change- nothing more than small coins though, Handa didn't dare imagine what the other would do to him if he realised, Kaido knew when and where his cards had been used-Handa couldn't risk that.
He'd been saving up...but he really needed a coffee.

"I'll get that, here." A voice said behind him. He turned around, being greeted by a warm smile. Tsunami paid for the coffee before handing it to the brunette, who just stood there in shock. He didn't even remember being asked to join Tsunami and Tachimukai at their table but there he was. He stared into his coffee, it was the same colour as his eyes, dull, boring.
"You didn't have to do that." He muttered

Tsunami shrugged his shoulders "It's no problemo bro, but I gotta ask, you one of those old school types that only carries cash? No cards at all?"
"Something like that." the other answered cryptically before taking a few sips from his drink, recoiling at the taste. It was so sweet it barely tasted like coffee anymore, but he had to keep drinking it. The conversation swiftly changed despite Tachimukai's efforts to involve the new arrival, Handa drowned it all out, focussing only on the cafe door and flinching every time it opened.

"I wonder what's up with him?" Tachimukai asked, Handa had excused himself to the bathroom after fidgeting around for the last five minuets. "I don't know." His boyfriend answered. Just then the little wind chime sung again, Tachimukai popped his head up to see a tall, lean man with black hair and striking green eyes walk in. The man surveyed the small cafe for a moment, he was very handsome, but Tachimukai couldn't help but feel a little uneasy when the man's gaze fell on them for a moment, there was just something about him.

The man turned on his heel, about to leave when the door to the bathroom squeaked open, Handa walked out patting his hands dry on his thick coat. The two stared at each other.
In one swift moment he strode over, grabbing the other's arm tightly "I thought I told you to stay in the car." He whispered through gritted teeth. Handa nodded his head, eyes wide in terror "I'm s-sorry I-"
"We have to go quick or we'll get stuck in traffic!" Kaido exclaimed, a smile on his face as he patted his boyfriend on the back a little too hard, sending the other stumbling. Handa quickly grabbed his wallet from the table, trying desperately to act normal.
"Aren't you gonna finish your drink?"
Tachimukai asked, it was obvious from his expression that he knew something was wrong. But Handa just shook his head, running after Kaido, Tachimukai faintly heard the taller man ask Handa who his 'friends' were, but there was no reply.

The sky began to turn dark, it would soon be night and the two men couldn't shake their earlier feelings of unease. They looked at each other before exiting the small cafe, ducking behind a small wall when they heard raised voices. The two other men appeared to be having a disagreement, although it was very clearly one-sided. The taller one sighed loudly before crossing his arms and walking away, Handa stood still for a moment, visibly shaken before walking off slowly in the other direction.

"Handa." Tachimukai whisper-shouted, himself and his boyfriend emerging from their hiding spot, they jogged over to the brunette. "You okay?" Tsunami asked worriedly, the brunette looked up at him for a moment before giving them a sad smile, wrapping his arms tightly across himself "...Yeah, I'm fine..." he said quietly. Tachimukai wasn't convinced "Are you sure? Because-" But Handa simply waved them away, walking off into the night.

It was getting late. Tachimukai knew that he needed to leave soon, the thought of turning up at work the next day made him feel physically sick. "I'm gonna miss you." He stated, arm around his boyfriend's waist as he enjoyed the soft feel of wet sand under his feet. "I'll come visit you as soon as I can Yuuki." The other replied softly, turning his boyfriend to face him before connecting their lips "I promise."
Tachimukai was about to reply when he was alerted to the sound of crunching coming towards them, followed by a deep laughter.
Even in the darkness it was obvious to see the bedraggled form of Handa, every step he took looked like it pained him, he looked damp too, he was shivering.

"How was that then eh?" The taller man asked with a laugh, slinging his arm around the other's neck and pulling him close, attempting to kiss him. Handa leaned away but his boyfriend quickly snatched both of his arms, getting up into his face.
"Hey hey!" Tsunami yelled, running over to the couple. Kaido sighed, letting go of his boyfriend "You two again, why can't you leave us in peace? Who do you think you are, the police or something? Come on Han we're leaving."
"He doesn't have to go anywhere with you." Tachimukai called, running over to join the fray. Kaido just laughed, resting his arms on Handa's shoulders "You hear that Han? They want your opinion."
The brunette cast his eyes down to the sand, droplets of water ran down his face "It's really alright...please leave us alone..." he said meekly before walking off hastily.
"You see? No problems here!" Kaido said with a grin before jogging after the brunette and disappearing.

"Well that's the last of them." Iako said with a yawn, stuffing the last few envelopes into the postbox. Tachimukai stared out, the soft sound of the waves drowning out all other noise.
"You think we did the right thing?" He asked, voice just above a whisper.
"What do you mean?" His fiancé replied, coming up behind him.
Tachimukai just continues to stare out to sea "Nothing, ignore me..."