52~All I Ask
(Sunday, 8am~ Kazemaru and Endou's place)
(Endou)
"Huh, it looks like we missed a hell of a lot on Friday." Kazemaru looked up from the stack of papers he was marking. "Like what?" I shook my head, showing him the photo Max had sent to me. "He's in hospital, why? Is Handa okay?" He said in concern, I took my phone back, sighing. "Apparently, some idiots got into a fight and Handa got knocked down-cut up his hand when he fell and shattered his glass."
"Shit..." He mumbled.
"Luckily it wasn't too bad, but he did need some stitches though, in other news; Fubuki and Gouenji got into some massive fight over who knows what and just left."
"That's so unlike them; I always thought those two were peachy." My husband said, sighing a little, I sat down next to him. "Well, marriages are tough, every married couple has to get into a fight sooner or later."
"That's certainly true for us..." He mumbled, looking over at me, I felt a knot form in my stomach. "You married me, so that no matter how badly we fought, I couldn't leave you. It would have been too easy to just break up with you if we were just dating-but to divorce you? I wouldn't be able to do that. I felt...so trapped for so long...it was years, of hell..." He looked dead at me, I could see the sorrow in his eyes, remembered the countless times we fought; 'I hate you' was said more than 'I love you'.
I'd tried to tie him down to me-thinking that, it would stop me from constantly switching between him and Natsumi, thought it would assure me of the fact that I really did love him and really did want to be with him, I thought, selfishly, that I could hide him away from the rest of the world, steal him away, keep him for myself.
"Kaze, I-" he put a hand up to me, silencing me. "But...even so, I have to say that... I'm glad I married you Mamoru. We were both acting like children-me thinking that I could just make you love me when you still loved Natsumi. You thinking that all our problems would be solved when you proposed. We just...were ahead of ourselves. And even though we had our bad times, we had great times too.
All I know is that no matter how many times we fought, I still loved you and you still loved me; I still wanted to hug you and kiss you and spend the night in your arms, never once did I ever want to just give up on you. I'm so happy we married-because otherwise I probably would have left a long time ago...and I know for a fact, that would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life...I don't think I would ever forgive myself if I did that. I love you so much Mamoru, and being here, right now, with you, is the most peace I've felt in a very, very long time."
"I, I don't know what to say..." I mumbled truthfully, a small smile graced his lips "Then say nothing." He stroked my cheek comfortingly, pecking my lips.
I'm so lucky to have such an amazing husband as him. "Hey. How's about we go for a swim later?" I suggested as he went back to his work. He scoffed, a small laugh escaping "Endou, that's a terrible idea, you know I can't swim."
"Yeah, I never understood that. How can you just not know how to swim, didn't you ever go to a pool, or even to the beach?"
"My parents just never took me swimming and then as I got older it seemed silly to try. Besides, it's not just me! Fudou can't swim, neither can Someoka." He said, ticking a sentence on the page he was marking and drawing a smiley face on it in green pen.
"Well, I could teach you, it's just like riding a bike." I explained, Kaze turned, crossing his arms.
"It's nothing like riding a bike Endou. There is no risk of drowning on a bike."
"Well not technically no-"
"What do you mean technically-" my husband stated exasperatedly.
I smiled "Point is, I'm not going to let you drown, it's literally part of the job description!"
I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, I'll be right besides you at all times. You don't need to worry."
"Oh really? Or are you going to do that thing that parents always do where they tell their kid that they're holding onto the bike, but they actually let go-because that actually happened to me and I cycled into a tree and got this-" he replied, lifting up his fringe and motioning to a small scar on his forehead.
"That's why I started to grow my hair out, to hide it..." He muttered and I laughed, tousling his hair "Baby, I never even noticed! Besides, you're gorgeous, never feel like you have to hide something from me, you're perfect the way you are." I said honestly, his eyes softened, he cracked a small smile "Although, I guess if I hadn't crashed into that tree, I would have never decided to keep growing my hair out-and I wouldn't have the luscious locks I have today, so I guess it was a blessing in disguise."
I laughed, quieting down after a bit "So, this evening then?" I asked and he raised an eyebrow at me.
"No way Mamoru, I'm going to look like such an idiot! You'll get me in a pool when hell freezes over."
"Well, with all this climate change, that might just become a reality."
My husband stuck his tongue out at me.
"Come on Kaze, we'll go just before it closes, no one ever stays that late-it'll be just you and me. I promise. Please? Please, for me?" I practically begged, nuzzling my face against his neck. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"
He deadpanned "I drown duh."
"You're not gonna drown love, you're too buoyant for that." I poked his stomach. "Are you calling me fat Mamoru?" He said with a chuckle, I just shrugged, he knew what I meant.
"You're weird sometimes Endou." He poked my cheek before thinking over my proposition for a few moments before finally giving in.
"Fine. For my darling husband I'll give it a go." I beamed at him and he just sighed, getting up slowly and walking over to the bedroom. "Where you going?" I enquired.
"Oh, just going to write my will."
"Kazemaru!"
(Around 1pm~ Nagumo and Suzuno's house)
(Nagumo)
"Hey Papa?" I turned at the soft voice, smiling as Anaise looked up at me with her big grey eyes. "What's up little lady?" I replied and she giggled before speaking again.
"When will Daddy get better?" She asked innocently, my heart sank. Suzuno had put on such a brave face for her, gone straight back to work on Friday as if nothing had happened, always smiled in front of her even though he was hurting so much inside, he had never changed at all.
And yet, our daughter noticed.
"Who told you that huh? Did Daddy tell you that?" I leaned down to her height, she shook her head, pigtails swinging about. "No. But Daddy lies." She said with a smile. I sighed inwardly but smiled back at her.
"Well little lady, I'll go and talk to Daddy then. I promise you everything is just fine Anaise, don't you worry."
She nodded, skipping off upstairs. I sighed, following after her.
In my heart I knew it was wrong; surely we should be teaching our child that it is okay to cry, it's okay to be vulnerable and to say when things aren't okay. And yet neither Suzuno or I could do that. Perhaps it was pride, perhaps we just wanted her to always see us as 'strong'...but then...what kind of message were we teaching her?...
I didn't want to think about it right now, there was already so much going on that I didn't want to get overwhelmed.
I should talk about it with Suzuno though.
I opened the bedroom door to see Suzuno sitting in bed, reading a book. I saw his eyes light up as Anaise squeezed past me, jumping onto the bed and practically launching herself at him. He laughed, holding her tightly. "Hey apple blossom, what's up?" He said as I perched next to my husband.
"Well, Anaise seems to think there's something wrong with you-even though I assured her there's nothing wrong." I stated, feeling so detestable with every word I spoke. Suzuno's eyes connected with mine and I could see the pain in them, like I was the one hurting him.
I had to look away.
He moved a little closer to me, leaning on my shoulder slightly. Anaise moved, snuggling herself in between the two of us.
"I-" Suzuno stopped, gathering his breath a little, he felt the same. I knew he felt utterly sick like I did, pretending like everything was fine when it was so, so far from fine. Anaise was staring up at him expectantly.
"I'm sorry for making you worry honey, I've just been...a little under the weather lately that's all. It happens to everyone from time to time, you understand that?"
She nodded slowly, probably not really understanding, but trying to nevertheless.
"But you're sad. I know so. Because Papa's sad, and he only is sad when you are sad Daddy. And if you are sad I'll be sad too, I don't want us to be sad. I want everyone to be happy." Anaise said quietly, we both frowned at her, Suzuno patting her head softly. He looked at me and I nodded. We needed to tell her, even if it was going to be the most vague, surface-level, bs it was better than nothing. It would be a start. A start to be able to start speaking openly about our problems, our feelings. Something we were always told we could never do.
"Oh honey, I was sad earlier, but I'm not anymore okay. I promise. And Papa was only sad because I wasn't feeling good, but that's all in the past now, it doesn't matter." He began, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
Okay. Not completely truthful, but again, it was a start. Progress.
"I thought... I thought you and Papa were fighting or something, I didn't want that." Anaise said quietly, looking up at me again with those grey eyes now swimming with tears.
"No no no. We're not fighting at all! Oh Anaise, it's just something Daddy is going through, that's all-and it's nothing you need to worry yourself about okay?" I cooed, she smiled a little, Suzuno reaching over to wipe away her tears.
Okay. Maybe we should deal with this first.
"B-but-" she stopped, looking over at my husband before continuing "I want to help. That's what family is for." He chewed his lip, looking over at me once again for reassurance. He took a few moments, taking in a few breaths as Anaise waited patiently for an answer.
Suzuno breathed out, breathing seeming to steady for the first time since this ordeal began. "Anaise...thank you, you're right. I've been trying to deal with this all by myself, which isn't helping anyone, and it's only been making me feel worse. I thought...I thought I could deal with this on my own but, turns out I can't." He took another breath, leaning in close to me, intertwining our hands "Haruya, I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for everything that's happened, I should have just listened to you in the first place then none of this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry for not listening and I'm sorry for shutting you out Haruya."
I smiled softly, kissing his hand lightly "You don't need to apologise Fuusuke, we've both made mistakes in this, I'm just glad you're relatively okay. I don't know what I'd do without you, you're my everything."
Suzuno smiled at me; no, he practically beamed with happiness, his eyes were once again sparkling like they used to-my old Suzuno was back. And god...I suddenly felt so emotional seeing him like that. I rubbed my eye quickly, pretending there was an eyelash or something in it.
I knew of course, that this was far from over, that Suzuno hadn't just suddenly 'gotten over it' or something. But the progress just felt too good to ignore. He rubbed my hand soothingly.
"Let's just agree, to tell each other everything from now on, okay?" I asked.
"No more lying okay Daddy, Papa? Or it's the naughty corner!" Our daughter said, patting both of our heads, I just laughed.
(Suzuno)
'Tell each other everything huh?
What, like how you still want a baby, and have been hoarding stuff behind your husband's back?
You gonna tell him that Suzuno?
You can't.
You won't.
Why?
Because you're a coward.'
(7pm~ The Fubuki-Gouenji residence)
(Gouenji)
I walked over to the door, ready to yell at whoever was ringing the bell like it was the damn end of the world, to damn piss off. Yeah, so I'm not in the greatest of spirits today. After Friday, me and Shirou still haven't patched things up. We hardly ever argue, so when we do, we mainly just end up not talking to each other for days on end; basically acting like the other doesn't exist-though that's a bit tricky when you live in the same house, and sleep in the same bed.
But it works for us-a few days of silent treatment until we basically just forget about what happened and move on with our lives like normal. It's just our way alright?
I peered through the spy hole, heart almost stopping when I saw who was standing there. 'Shit, how could I have forgotten!'
"Shuuya! I know you're in there, let me in already!" She yelled and I dragged my hand down my face, I really didn't want this right now, I'm not against her or anything but right now I just want to go back to ignoring my husband-I'll just have to tell her.
Sighing I opened the door, immediately being greeted by eyes looking right up at me. "Gouenji Shuuya. I rung that bell seventeen times-"
"You know, now's really not a good time...can you go, please." I huffed out, leaning against the doorframe. She blinked "What?"
I sighed "Can you just go, me and Fubuki...we're fighting okay, so you need to go."
She raised an eyebrow before pushing past me "I don't think so."
"Yuuka-"
She turned around, motioning for the other person to come in, I just sighed in defeat, closing the door behind them. "Now's really not a good time-" I repeated but she merely dismissed my words, her boyfriend holding out a small dish for me to see-rhubarb and apple crumble "I made dessert, so therefore you're going to eat it, and you're going to enjoy it." She simply stated, pulling off her coat and hanging it up. "Um, I guess you forgot we were coming around today Gouenji." Toramoru said with a kind smiled, Yuuka crossed her arms defiantly just as Fubuki came downstairs.
"We do this once a month, it's not that hard to remember Shuuya."
I frowned "Well, I've been...preoccupied.."
My little sister looked over at Fubuki, he only gave her a small smile, she huffed at our hostility whilst my soon-to-be brother-in-law stood there awkwardly "Uh, I'm gonna put this in the kitchen Yuuka." He said before scurrying off.
The four sat round the table eating, neither Fubuki nor Gouenji talking to the other, both looking at nothing other than their plates.
"Thank you for inviting us round, both of you. This food's delicious." Toramoru stated eagerly, trying so hard to get a conversation going-the atmosphere was way too awkward for the young male's liking.
Yuuka played around with the potatoes on her plate, she'd grown and changed, matured a lot in the last few years; blossoming into a strong and smart, hard-working young lady. She and her brother had certainly grown closer with age, she was very fond on Fubuki too and loved that he and her brother were together-so this was killing her.
"Hey Shuuya, I'm planning on dying my hair neon green and getting tattoos all over my body-what do you think?" She asked, her brother remained silent.
"Hey Fubuki, you know how I've been spending so long training to be a doctor? Yeah, I'm going to quit, I can't be bothered." Yet again there was no response, she muttered under her breath, thinking for a few seconds.
"Hey Shuuya. I'm pregnant."
Gouenji's eyes widened, fixing themselves upon the navy haired boy opposite him-if looks could kill. "You. You little bastard!" He yelled, reaching over the table and attempting to throttle the terrified young man. "Bro, I was joking, geez I was just trying to get your attention-you're going to give him a heart attack!" Yuuka stated irritably, the blonde slowly backed off, Toramoru breathing out a sigh of relief.
The brunette folded her arms over her chest "Shirou, Shuuya, I get you're fighting or whatever but you need to stop. I've never seen a couple more in love than the two of you, but you're acting like a bunch of kids right now, it's so stupid. The silent treatment, really? I came to have a nice Sunday dinner with my brother, his husband and my boyfriend, not to sit around and watch you two act like two year olds." She got up from her seat, walking over to the couple and placing a hand on either of their shoulders.
"Apologise. Now." She ordered. The two males looked at each other-Yuuka was right, they needed to stop.
Gouenji sighed "I'm really sorry Shirou, I was being overprotective of you, I know you can take care of yourself, I should have just trusted you." The blonde said truthfully, placing a hand on his husband's knee.
Fubuki's expression softened, placing his hand over the other's and lacing their fingers together. "I'm sorry too baby, I know you were just worried, I shouldn't have lashed out like that."
"Good, now that wasn't too hard was it? Okay I'm gonna grab the crumble." the young woman stated, disappearing off. Gouenji and Fubuki hugged, enjoying each other's touch after what seemed like so long. The blonde planted a small kiss on the other's hand.
"Hey, Shuuya? She was...joking right?" Fubuki asked, Gouenji turned, fixing his gaze back upon young Toramoru. The boy squirmed uncomfortably as the other set a death glare upon him, but then the blonde smiled "Yeah, it was all lies. I trust them."
Toramoru was happy to hear that.
He'd rather not endure the wrath of Gouenji today, that's for sure.
This is how I imagine the conversation would go down.
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