(Sunday, midday~ The Busy Bean Cafe)

(Kazemaru)
"Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here?" I looked up from my coffee to see Haruna standing there; wearing a pastel blue sundress with a matching handbag. "Oh. Nice to see you too." I replied, beckoning for her to sit, she smiled warmly, taking the seat opposite and picking up the menu. "So how's the fashion business going?" I asked, adding a little more sugar to the bitter liquid, she beamed at me, eyes practically sparkling "Really well, just finished a new collection actually. I'm flying out to Zurich in two days for the catwalk show. One of my male models just cancelled at the last moment and I haven't been able to find anyone to replace him at such short notice...say...Kazemaru?-" I shook my head, laughing a little "If you're asking me to model for you I'm going to have to politely decline. I don't have time to make a trip to Switzerland. Besides, it's not really my scene."
She pouted but nodded her head "Shame. But you're right. Maybe next time."

"Where's Endou?"
"At work. Busy as usual." I sighed, our jobs meant we hardly ever got to spend any time with each other-I'm always at work every weekday and he's at work most evenings and pretty much the whole weekend.

"Sorry to hear that Ichirouta, oh well, at least you've actually found someone; all my friends are married or in a relationship, heck, Aki's having twins! Meanwhile I'm still the single pringle, life sucks..." She sighed melancholically just as a waiter came over to the table.

"Here you are sir." He put my plate down before turning to Haruna, she looked up at him and I noticed small blushes on both of their cheeks "Um, what can I get for you miss?" She tucked a lock of blue hair behind her ear "Um, I think I'll have the langoustine linguini, yeah that sounds nice. Thank you lovely." The waiter smiled at her and nodded before taking the menu and walking off. As soon as he was gone, Haruna smacked her forehead "Thank you lovely? Why the heck did I say that?!" I chuckled "You should ask for his number when he comes back." I stated nonchalantly supping my drink.

Haruna laughed in disbelief. "I can't ask him, he's too perfect, and I don't even know him! Not that it matters, every man I meet is either taken or gay!" I couldn't help but laugh at that comment.

"Go on, you might as well try, you two could hit it off." She gave a small smile before her phone rang, a few people turned around and she cursed before turning it to silent. "Who was it?" She gave a sigh before replying "Nats, no doubt with some 'constructive' criticism about the new line or wanting to see if she can be my plus one to the fashion show. Jeez, she's a nice enough girl but I would be lying if I said she didn't do my head in at times."

I made a noise of disapproval and she looked at me "Look I know you don't really like Natsumi but-"
"Don't like her? No, that's a bit of an understatement. I hate the bitch." "Kazemaru!" She said angrily and I just crossed my arms "What do you expect? The girl keeps trying to destroy my marriage and steal my husband. But you probably didn't know that." She looked surprised but also not surprised at the same time. She was about to speak before her phone buzzed in her hand "I should probably just answer her. I'll be two minutes okay?" She said before getting up and wandering off to the bathroom. I was left alone with my thoughts, thoughts that quickly turned into memories, memories I'd much rather forget....

I sat at my dorm desk, pen in one hand, scrawling down notes in my notebook. Yawning slightly, I leaned back in my chair, satisfied with my work. My phone buzzed, the screen flashing with a picture of someone I hadn't seen or talked to in close to two years.

'Endou? What does he want?'
I glanced at the picture-a selfie of the two of us on the final day of school, just a few months before I started Uni. For a moment my finger just hovered over the screen; for some reason I didn't want to answer, we were best friends yet we hadn't spoken for so long, apart from short texts sent to each other on birthdays.

The call soon ended and I shrugged it off, turning back to my work. Then he called again. I stared at the phone, but again just couldn't bring myself to answer it. The call ended. A few seconds rolled by and he called again, frustrated, I finally answered.

"God, you sure are persistent Mamoru."
I heard a small laugh on the other end "Aw, you were avoiding me Ichirou? You're cruel!"
I cringed at the nickname he used to use when we were kids.
He sighed before carrying on "You know, it feels like years since I've heard your voice..."
"Well it has been a year." I replied rather coldly, I wasn't trying to be mean per say it was just I felt so awkward talking to him after so long.

"So..." Endou stated after a little while and I just sighed, he was obviously after something.
"What is it Endou? I'm kind of busy here, you know with studying and whatnot."
There was a pause on the other end, as if he was contemplating what to say next.
"I know this is really out of the blue but...I know you break up for the holidays in a couple of days so I was wondering-"
"You want me to visit you?"
There was a pause on the other end, only making the situation more awkward. "Because I was kinda hoping to spend some time with my family, and then maybe do some travelling..." I trailed off.

"Oh yeah of course...well that sounds like...fun." He replied and I leaned back in my chair-why did he have to be so difficult? "It's just, I'm moving into my own place next week so I was hoping you could help me out a little."
I looked at the clock and ran a hand through my hair, then again, it could be nice to catch up, see what Endou's doing with his life.

I made him wait a little longer, just to tease him, before finally replying "Fine, I'll...see if I'm free, I'm not making any promises though..."
"Yes! Thanks man I owe you one, I'll see you next week then!" He practically shouted with excitement before hanging up. I got up out of my seat and walked over to the bathroom, I rubbed my tired eyes before looking in horror at the soft red tint in my cheeks.

Why was I blushing? 'It's not like you still like Endou or anything, you're so over him by now right? You two are just friends.' I cringed internally, I couldn't lie to myself, but at the same time I couldn't let myself keep acting like a child, he's never thought of me that way so I'd never have a chance anyway.

The rest of the week rolled by and before I knew it I was standing outside Endou's new apartment, he'd already moved most of the stuff in, just the sofa and a few other things remained. "You made it, great!" He said cheerfully, he was a little taller, but apart from that he was exactly the same-same old Endou. I smiled and he walked over; arms out like he was going hug me. I panicked. Putting out my hand instead. He gave me a weird look and I laughed awkwardly, walking past him into the flat and trying to pretend like nothing had happened.

Oh boy

The rest of the day was spent with me being increasingly awkward and him being increasingly interested in me. "So how's university life for you?" He asked as we manoeuvred, or at least tried to, manoeuvre the bed into the bedroom. "Fine." I answered plainly, he pouted momentarily but it was gone in a second "How about you Endou, what have you been up to?" I enquired, eager to move the topic away from myself, he tilted the bed a little before answering.

"I've been doing odd jobs here and there; bars, restaurants, supermarkets, that kind of thing. Though I'm currently doing a stint at this new cocktail bar downtown, I'm getting pretty good at it actually." He smiled goofily at me and I couldn't help but smile back, he was always such a happy person-being around him had always made me happy and now, after being apart for so long, I realised the happiness I was missing in my life-it was him.

"I'm trying to find something to fill my time, now that I can't play anymore..." he stated quietly. I gave him a somber look, knowing how much of a sore subject it was for him, it was his dream to go professional-and he was so close too...

"Any girls on the scene lately?" He asked suddenly. Switching seamlessly back to his positive, happy-go-lucky self.
I felt my heart race a little; he didn't know about my little secret, he also didn't know that I'd been secretly dating Miyasaka during the summer before I enrolled at uni-well I say 'dating' but it wasn't really anything like that, he practically begged me to go out with him, and then, just as things were getting serious, he flaked out on me. "Nah. What about you?" I asked, once again steering the conversation back to him.

He smirked "Same here." I sighed in relief.
"You know what? Fuck it, we'll leave the bed here. I'll move it later." He said exasperatedly, he dumped the bed there, in the middle of the doorway, and I did the same. "You never change, you're still as stubborn as you were back when we were kids." I stated, laughing a little, and followed him into the living room. We began to move the sofa, straining under it's weight a little "Yeah but...I can't say the same for you Kaze. You've changed a lot-you're so serious now and shit." I frowned "Well yeah, I'm all stressed and stuff, that's not my fault." He did that pout again, seemingly dissatisfied with my statement, I ignored him, plonking the heavy sofa down just as my knees were about to give way. I collapsed onto the sofa, utterly exhausted; he walked around, laughing at me "Tired?"
"Yeah no shit Sherlock!" I replied, sticking my tounge out at him, laughing also. "See I'm not serious all the time Endou, I can be fun too!"

He gave me that goofy smile again and I instantly remembered how we'd first met- I thought he was a joke, just an idiot that liked to make people laugh; but I soon realised how wrong my judgment of him was.
He stuck his tongue out at me before flopping right on top of me. He just laughed at that but I... I just froze. He was right on top of me, arms pinned on other side of my head, hair falling over his eyes as he laughed. It was a compromising position to say the least.

After a few moments he stopped laughing, staring at me intently instead. I tried to look away, tried to do something, say something, but my body just wouldn't listen. I could feel myself starting to go red, I noticed a faint tint on his cheeks too.
"Kaze...I-"
Before I could react, he bent down, connecting our lips. He was kissing me.

I couldn't help it, I kissed him back, wrapping my arms tightly round his neck and bringing him closer to me. This was something I'd been suppressing for so long, and now, now I just didn't want to hide it anymore. But Endou pulled away from me, his face red. "Kaze! I'm so sorry!" He got off me, head in his hands.

I frowned, tired of hiding my feelings for him "No Endou, it's okay because...I love you-" he gave me a weird look, shaking his head. He looked at me, confusion and confliction in his eyes-I'd never seen him look so distressed before, I leaned over and grabbed his hand "Mamoru, I've loved you for so long, but I was too scared to tell you, I didn't want you to hate me, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But...if you like me back then, that's great!" I smiled a little, rubbing his hand softly, I was happy at least to get that off my chest. He frowned.

"I'm sorry Kaze but...I'm straight, I don't like guys..."
"Then why the hell did you kiss me then!" I said exasperatedly, why would he kiss me if he's not gay? He rubbed his temples "I don't know! You just, and I mean, urgh I just don't know! I've never thought of another guy like that but...with you, I just thought I would try...I don't know, maybe I'm Bi or something?"

He took a breath before carrying on. "That's why I wanted to see you actually, I've- I've never felt this way about another guy before, but you...I wanted to see if I really did like guys too or if, it was just you..." I stared at him in astonishment "So all of this? The kiss, it wasn't because you actually liked me? You just wanted to try?" I was really pissed, really really pissed, I just felt so stupid.

"You were always on my mind and it confused me a lot, I tried to distract myself, like with Natsumi, but it's not been working!" I raised an eyebrow "So, when you said that you you weren't seeing anybody, that was a lie wasn't it?" He shifted uncomfortably.
"You've been dating Natsumi haven't you? You still are dating her aren't you?" He put his hands up "I wouldn't say that."

I crossed my arms, wanting to get to the bottom of the situation. "So you've broken up with her then?"
"I wouldn't say that either..." I laughed angrily "So what is it then Mamoru, what is your end goal huh? Do you want me; the friend that's always been there for you, through thick and thin. Or her?" I stood up, standing right in front of him, arms crossed, an angry expression on my face. He rubbed the back of his neck "I mean, I was hoping that we could, you could stay the night and then we could...you know...then I'd be able to know if I do actually like guys...come on Kazemaru, we're friends aren't we? Can't you help me out here?"

I could feel tears prick in my eyes, angry tears. "So that's why I'm here? If you just wanted a quick hookup you should have just said! God Endou!" I stormed away angrily, ignoring his pleas for me to come back. "Kazemaru, where are you going!?"
"Home! If you think that you can just get me to have sex with you, like as a favour, then you have another thing coming!"
"That's not what I-" he tried but I just ignored him, grabbing my stuff and leaving, not wanting to deal with my best friend's bullshit anymore.

He followed me down the stairwell, right up until I opened the front door.
"Oh hello Endou, I was just about to buzz your flat, but I forgot the number, so I was going to call you-" she stopped when she noticed my face, I quickly wiped my eyes. "Are you quite alright Kazemaru, I thought you were studying at university?" Endou plastered a smile on his face, draping his arm around my shoulder "Everything's alright babe, we were just...catching up!" I glared at him and shrugged his arm away before pushing past Natsumi, walking out into the early evening air.

'I was an idiot to think Endou would ever properly like me, he obviously still likes Natsumi so I have absolutely no chance anyway. Not that I care, I could never love someone who treated me like that, never ever!'

'Never ever huh?'
So we started doing this thing. After that day, Endou would not stop pestering me, trying to apologise, telling me we should meet up to talk, eventually I gave in. I've always been a strong-minded person, but when it comes to Endou, I'm weak-willed. I let him get away with it because that's what best friends are for, right?

It took a while, but every moment I had a break or holiday from my studies, I was spending it with Endou-we were dating, arguing, breaking up, dating again. Sometimes it was me, most of the time it was him-he still wasn't comfortable with his sexuality yet, and we argued a lot about it. Not only that; but he had a habit of flipping between Natsumi and I, two sides of the same coin. If things went bad with her, then he just got with me instead, when we broke up, he got back together with Natsumi.

It's not like I didn't know. I guess I just didn't want to ruin the opportunity of being able to be with the guy I'd been crushing on for my entire life. I was desperate, I admit that. And I'm not proud of that.

"Endou?" I asked as he ran his hands through my hair. "What is it?"
I sighed, feeling his grip around my waist tighten. "You do love me don't you?"
"Of course I love you Ichirouta, you know that." I frowned a little, I knew he loved me but I just hated the uncertainty "Endou...I...I want you to choose. No more back-and-forth, no more lies okay?"
"You mean?-"
"-I want to know if we're forever or not?"
He stayed quiet for the rest of the evening.

Two days later, he proposed.

"Kazemaru. Kazemaru!"
I looked up to see Haruna smiling down at me; I smiled back. "What have you got there?" I said, motioning to a slip of paper in her hand, she blushed and smiled brightly.

"I got his number!"