Sick Feeling~ Boy Pablo

(Tuesday, 6.30pm)

"I still can't believe we've never been here before, I mean Hiroto's always talking about it." Kazemaru remarked, taking a seat in the booth opposite his husband. Endou grinned "I can't wait to taste the food. You know they're on their way to their second Michelin star."
Kazemaru raised his eyebrows "Impressive."
"Yeah one of Gouenji's friends is a food critic, they both go here all the time."
Kazemaru let out a small chuckle "That doesn't surprise me."

Endou leaned forward across the table, taking a hold of his husband's hands and rubbing them softly. It had been so long since they had been able to go out and enjoy themselves like this; they were both so busy with work, especially Kazemaru, and on top of that they'd had to deal with...with all the nonsense with Natsumi, and now Miyasaka... Endou shook his head, not wanting to think about that right now- all he cared about was the beautiful man in front of him.
Kazemaru gave him a sympathetic smile, he knew how much Endou had been beating himself up about everything that had gone on, no matter how many times he tried to reassure the brunette that it was fine.

'Was it all fine?' It was Kazemaru's turn to shake away his thoughts, all he wanted to think about was the lovely evening he was about to spend with his lovely husband.

"Are you ready to order, or do you need a minute?" A server with a very calming voice asked the couple, Kazemaru picked up the menu "Can we have a minute? it's our first time here." He answered and the server nodded before walking away. They both looked at the menu. "Mannnn, I wish I could try it all!" Endou lamented, stomach grumbling, his husband laughed lightly at him before coming to the same conclusion himself. "There's so much choice, too much choice really."

Soon however the couple were able to make their order, they chose different dishes with the intention of sharing them- something Kazemaru and Endou had done since they became best friends. The thought made the brunette smile.
"I'm gonna eat my body weight tonight Endou, I'm aiming for the top!"
"We're gonna aim for the top, we are a team after all!" Endou countered, earning another laugh from his husband.

Then Kazemaru's phone rang.
He hastily set in to silent before noticing who had called him. Miyasaka.
"Ah shit." He muttered before looking up at Endou. "I promised him I'd call him back after work, I completely forgot."
He watched the call ring out completely before sighing and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I don't know what to tell him, I mean I still can't believe this whole thing with him and Natsumi and not knowing we're married and I just can't help feeling that all this mess is my fault and-" Endou placed his hand over the other's, giving him a sympathetic smile "It's okay if you don't know, at least you're trying. And none of this is you're fault okay Kaze? I'm sure he appreciates you just talking with him, he's got a lot on his plate right now." He said with a sincerity only Endou could achieve, but his husband still couldn't help the guilty feeling that coursed through his body whenever his friend called. He hung his head, voice going low "Mamoru I'm-" he sighed before trying again "I'm sorry about how I acted about the whole Natsumi thing..."

"Kaze-"
The other put a hand up, not wanting to be interrupted. "I see now...how you must have felt, not wanting to give up on a close friend. It's the same with Miyasaka, I don't want to just abandon him or ignore him, coz he's still...my friend at the end of the day, and he's hurt and I want to help him." He said sadly, Endou smiled "I understand that."
"I've...made it abundantly clear to him that we're married and that's not going to change-" he gripped his husband's hand tighter "-I just didn't want you to think that I...that I was trying to get you back or something. I didn't want you to get jealous or get the wrong idea." He answered truthfully, looking up from the table and staring into his husband's eyes "I don't want you to hate Miyasaka like I did with Natsumi, because the situation is different. I'm not going to run away with him or anything."

Endou let out a laugh, surprising the other "Oh Kaze, why would I be jealous of you and Miyasaka? I understand that you're just trying to help him."
"But-" Kazemaru tried but Endou just smiled at him again before grabbing the other's phone and redialling, he handed the phone back "Go. Talk to him, it's fine." He beamed. Kazemaru was about to protest when they both heard a small 'Hello?'.
'You sure?' Kazemaru mouthed, getting out of his seat, Endou nodded "It's fine, the food'll be ages anyway." He stated and the other's eyes softened. He mouthed a 'thank you' before scurrying off to the bathroom. Endou watched him go before sighing.

He played with the menu for a bit before becoming bored of that, surveying the large room he was in, his gaze fell on a man with bright red hair sitting on the opposite end of the room. He grinned. "Hey Nagumo!"
The redhead looked over, Endou was waving at him. Some people began to stare but he just ignored it before getting up and walking over to the energetic brunette.

It became immediately obvious to Endou that something was up.
"You okay buddy?" He asked as the redhead slid into the booth opposite him.
"Yeah." Nagumo grumbled, clearly not okay.
Endou tilted his head to the side a little in curiosity "You here on your own? Where's Suzuno?" He asked and the other sighed heavily "Still ill. He's not been able to cook so he's getting kinda antsy at home, says he wants to eat some 'proper food' for a change. So now I'm here ordering restaurant-quality food so I can take it back for him since he works here." He said gruffly, a frown on his face. 'Obviously my cooking's not good enough for him.'

"It must be tough being married to a chef huh?" The brunette asked. Nagumo nodded his head "Especially a fussy one."
"Suzuno's fussy?" Endou asked in surprise, Nagumo scratched his cheek "Well, to be fair, it's only when he's stressed or ill that he's like that."
"I get that. Kazemaru can be like that too, whenever he comes back stressed from the kids at work I always make him okonomiyaki, it's his favourite comfort food!" He beamed fondly.
Nagumo nodded his head slowly "Maybe I'll give that a try-"
"-Yeah Kaze's mum got us this really nice hot plate as a wedding gift and it makes just the most perfect light, soft pancakes, and then I add pork and a little bacon and some prawns if he's really stressed out and then some mayo, bonito flakes, and lots and lots of okonomiyaki sauce- he loves it!" He mused, eyes closed as if he could already taste the delicious food. Nagumo just stared at him strangely "Okay..."

The redhead looked over to see the food he ordered being delivered to his table "Crap, I gotta go Endou." He said but it seemed the other hadn't heard him. "Whatever." He grumbled before leaving.
"Oh bye! Say hi to Suzuno for me and Kaze, oh and I hope he gets better soon!" Endou yelled when the redhead was already halfway across the room.

"Was that Nagumo?" Kazemaru asked, appearing behind the brunette and scaring him a little. Endou nodded as his husband sat down "Yeah. We were talking about pancakes." He said with a big smile on his face.
"Okay..." The other asked curiously.
"How was Miyasaka?" Endou deflected and Kazemaru sighed, but he gave a small smile "He's doing better."

"Yeah I got them Su. I'm on my way now." Nagumo said, placing the bag of food carefully in the boot of his car before debating whether he should move it to the passenger seat where he'd be able to see it. He shrugged, closing the boot anyway. 'It's a short drive, they'll be fine.'
"Thank you Haruya, I appreciate it." His husband answered, coughing a little at the end, his voice sounding hoarser than before. Nagumo got into his seat, plugging his phone in, Suzuno's coughing could be heard throughout the car. "By the way, Endou and Kazemaru say hi."
"Oh? You ran into them?"
Nagumo put on his seat beat "Yeah, place was pretty busy tonight."
There was a sigh on the other end "I wish I could be there, I miss the buzz. Did you say hello to Marline for me?" Suzuno moaned before going into a string of coughing. Nagumo shook his head, raising his voice to be heard over the coughs. "No, like I said it was busy. Look I'm going to be home soon why don't you get yourself something to drink and rest up okay?" Suzuno didn't have a chance to reply before the call was cut.

Nagumo sat in the car, but didn't start it.
"A baby." He pulled a hand down his face "A baby, he wants a baby!" He shouted frustratedly. The two were supposed to talk about it, but they hadn't, in truth Nagumo didn't want to, he didn't even want to think about kids let alone something as fragile as an infant. 'I'm not- I can't look after a baby!'
'Then just tell Fuusuke that, he'll understand.'
'No he won't he wants a baby, desperately, I know when he really really wants something, how can I deny him that! After all I put him through?!'
He rested his head on the steering wheel, wanting to calm down but his thoughts wouldn't let him.
'You think you can handle being a dad? You can barely look after yourself, what makes you think you'll be able to look after a small, defenceless human?'
'Do you even want this? Or are you just going along with whatever bossy Suzuno wants?'
'He's not bossy! And it's not like I don't owe him for-'

Nagumo sat up abruptly. No, no this was not the kind of thing he wanted to be remembering right now.
No.
No stop it!
Stop it!

"You'll never get adopted with that attitude."
The young boy with the light grey hair lowered his head, a low "yes ma'am" escaping from his lips. There was a cough, they both looked over as Hitomiko entered the room. "Hina, can I have a word please?" She asked, the other woman scowled before fixing a fake grin "Of course." The boy looked up at Hitomiko, she had a motherly yet commanding presence, he always admired how strong she seemed.
"Run along now Suzuno." She said. He nodded, walking away slowly and glaring at Hina as he did so.

He was doodling when a certain redhead came up behind him, flicking the back of his head.
"Why you looking so sad for, they say that to all us kids here, you ain't special." The other boy stated, arms crossed. The grey-haired boy did not say anything. Nagumo huffed "Anyway, wanna play football with me and the others?" He offered but Suzuno just shook his head. "I'm not interested."
"Fine, your loss." Nagumo retaliated, running off to play with his friends.

"Hey, do you think Suzuno has changed at all? Like recently?" Midorikawa had asked the red head one day. Nagumo actually had noticed a change in his friend; he didn't hang out with them as much anymore, preferring instead to stay in his room, and when prospective parents came to Sun Garden, Suzuno would always stay at the front- smiling sweetly and acting as sociable as possible rather than hanging out at the back with Nagumo, Hiroto and the others.
He called him out on it.
"Why are you acting so fake for Suzuno?"
The other pushed him away, a sad look on his face "If that's what it takes to get me adopted." He said lowly.

Those words had stuck with Nagumo.
They upset Nagumo.
He wasn't about to lose his best friend. Friend?
Yes, although they only ever seemed to argue there was a definite sense of 'opposites attract' in their relationship. Even Saginuma has noticed the way they acted towards each other, with heated words but a fierce loyalty unlike anything he'd witnessed before. No. Nagumo would not give him up.
No matter how kind Suzuno was, how much of a social butterfly he appeared to the parents who came to see him, Nagumo always managed to sabotage the situation. Say something to get the other to yell at him, do something to make the other lose his cool and show his real colours. Nagumo wasn't proud of it- but he knew Suzuno would thank him for it later.

But Nagumo was wrong.
Because in the end, never getting adopted felt like shit, even if Suzuno had to go through it too.
It broke him.
He remembered, how after several failed adoption attempts Suzuno just stopped trying, he became the old Suzuno again; cold, anti-social, but Nagumo's best friend- he wasn't going anywhere. Nagumo knew he himself would never get adopted anyway, Hina was pretty frank with him that his anger and hyper energy made him a nightmare to deal with. He was okay with that, if it meant he could still be friends with Hiroto, Midorikawa, Reina, Saginuma and Suzuno. He wouldn't go anywhere.

And yet, how could someone, with no understanding or experience of loving parents become one themselves? That's what got to him- 'How can I ever be a good parent, how could I ever love our child when I was never shown any love myself?'
'It'll be the same for Suzuno- you'll get through it together.'
No. Suzuno had experience, Suzuno had matured quickly in his efforts to be seen as a good, happy child. He helped Hitomiko in the nursery, learning how to calm the babies, how to comfort them. It was a welcome distraction in his later years, when nobody wanted to adopt a cold-hearted teenager. Maybe that was why he never acted out like Nagumo did, never rebelled?

Some of the other kids would make fun of Suzuno for it, call him 'mama' and ask him if he was actually a girl instead of a boy. But Suzuno was fierce despite how he looked and acted, he always put them in their place with just a glare of those striking eyes.
Nagumo made fun of him for it once, he thought it was just banter, just something to joke about, but his friend was obviously deeply hurt by it. It was different when it was your best friend saying it.
Suzuno didn't speak to him for a week.
Nagumo was lucky though, he rarely apologised for his actions, but Suzuno was different, Suzuno forgave him even though it remained a touchy subject for years afterwards.

'Suzuno knows what he's doing. You don't. You'll fail.'

Nagumo shot his head up, the car phone was ringing. He answered shakily.
"Haruya, where are you, are you okay?"
"Uh sorry I- traffic's really bad, I'll be home soon." He said quickly, turning on the engine.
"Oh okay, see you in a bit. I love you."
"Yeah...love you too..."

(8pm)

Kidou walked into the living room, a weary look on his face. He sat down heavily on the sofa next to Fudou who was absentmindedly flicking through channels on the TV. "What's up?" Fudou asked, not taking his eyes off the screen, Kidou handed him a slip of paper "Got another parking ticket." He answered lowly, his boyfriend's mouth twisted into a smirk.
"Naughty naughty Yuuto."

"There was a line at the bank Akio, it wasn't my fault." The other protested before getting up and leaving the room. He came back a few moments later with a letter in his hand "Akio, take a look." He said with a tone that made his boyfriend instantly stop what he was doing. Fudou's eyes widened at the bill "How much?!" He yelled, Kidou crossed his arms and pushed up his glasses "Well it's safe to say that we won't be going out any time soon." His voice became more serious "Maybe we need to change our spending habits too...be a bit smarter about everything. Especially since my card bill should be coming soon- I dread to think how much that will be..."

They were both silent for a minute before Fudou spoke up, voice low "Is it bad?" He asked. Kidou thought for a moment before sighing "Provided we don't encounter some sort of unfortunate circumstance, we should be okay. Things may just be a little tight this month." He said before walking off again. Fudou clenched his fist 'An unfortunate circumstance? That'd be just our luck'