Sunflower~ Rex Orange County

I want to know
Where I can go
When you're not around
And I'm feeling down
So won't you stay for a moment?
So I can say

I...I need you so
'Cause right now you know
That nothing here's new
And I'm obsessed with you
Then I fell to the ground
And you smiled at me and said
I don't wanna see you cry
You don't have to feel this emptiness
She said, "I'll love you 'til the day that I die"
Well maybe she's right
'Cause I don't wanna feel like I'm not me
And to be honest, I don't even know why
I let myself get down in the first place

(Monday, 7.15pm~Midorikawa's flat )

The redhead sat patiently on his boyfriend's bed, stroking a black cat as the other brushed out his olive green hair.
"She likes you." Midorikawa said with a smile, turning to face him as he pulled the brush through his hair once more. Hiroto grinned, reaching under and giving her a scratch under her chin. "Delilah, right?" He asked as the cat meowed in appreciation. Midorikawa placed the brush back in his draw and took a seat next to his boyfriend. "Uhuh, dunno where Potato is though, probably hunting for insects outside." He replied with a chuckle.

Midorikawa had always loved animals, so him becoming a vet had not taken any of his friends by surprise. Though the fact that he would end up working under Saginuma was one for sure. Hiroto himself had thought about getting a pet; both his boyfriend and Suzuno and Nagumo had cats so he figured he might as well too, get a cat or small dog to keep him company. However, his work commitments meant he probably would not have the time to properly care for one himself. Work meant sacrifice, and as much as it sometimes annoyed Hiroto he knew all those sacrifices would pay off in the long-run.

'Not with Ryuuji though.'
Ah. That was something he deeply regretted. Burying himself in his work to avoid any and all inklings of a thought towards his beloved Midorikawa, the man he loved. He thought that by just working harder he could ignore those feelings bubbling up inside himself, but that had become an impossible task. Even now, now that they were together Hiroto could do nothing but sigh at the bleak prospect of their future together. Midorikawa had always said that he worked too hard, he knew that if he was going to make this relationship work he would have to slow down.
But he was okay with that. He realised that last night as he curled up with his wonderful boyfriend, he would give anything for that man, nothing was too much of an ask. He loved Midorikawa with all his heart and he would never allow anything to get in their way ever again.

"Baby? You alright?"
Hiroto looked over at the concerned eyes of his boyfriend, he hadn't realised how long he'd been spacing out for. He just sent the other a sweet smile before giving Delilah another pat on the head. "Ah sorry, don't mind me. I was just thinking." Midorikawa nodded slowly but seemed to believe him, shifting a little closer to the other. The black cat suddenly perked up, ears twitching for a moment before she darted off. "Well, looks like she's on the hunt too huh?" Hiroto said before furrowing his eyebrows "What made you name her that by the way?"

Midorikawa lounged back on his elbows "Ah that. Well that's a proper story."
"Go on." Hiroto asked, turning over and resting his chin in his hands, causing the other to laugh. "Okay, I'll tell ya." He sat up to a more comfortable position, giggling again when Hiroto shimmied over and rested his head on the other's thighs. 'He's being very affectionate tonight.' Hiroto looked up at him, willing him to continue.
"Okay so we had a large number of strays and kittens in yeah, and once they'd all been tended to we took them to our shelter. Since there were so many we all got to pick a name each, and since it was springtime we thought it would be cute to name them all after flowers."

Potato entered the room, looking around for a moment before jumping into the last draw of Midorikawa's dresser and settling herself down amongst his pyjamas. It was her favourite place snuggle up and it meant Midorikawa was constantly having to pick little peach hairs of his clothes; but he didn't mind all that much. He turned back to his boyfriend. "Anyway, since I was the one who found and gained the trust of Delilah the most I decided to name her. And I chose the name Dahlia because I think they're pretty and they have meanings like strength in the face of adversity which was fitting since she was such a fighter. Though since she has black fur she'd really be a black Dhalia, which also made sense since black Dahlias mean betrayal- which tracks since she has a bit of a habit of suddenly attacking people."

He chuckled lightly to himself, reaching down and playing with Hiroto's hair a little. "In case you're wondering, all the stuff about flower meanings is from Afuro. He's the expert on it."
Hiroto was glad to have the clarification, but was a bit confused. "But I thought her name was Delilah, not Dhalia?"
"Ah, yes well that's where Shinobu comes in." Midorikawa explained "She was in charge of the name tags and but she misspelled the name in English as Delilah instead. The name just kind of stuck, it suited her we thought given the whole femme fatale fierceness she has! And yeah that's the story."

Hiroto looked up at his boyfriend "Wow, that actually was a pretty interesting story." A smirk tugged on his lips "And may I ask then why the other one is called Potato?"
Midorikawa just scoffed, bending down and kissing the other's forehead "That, my dear, is a story for another time."

"I wish you didn't have to leave."
The pair had spent twenty minutes in silence, just admiring each other, playing with each other's hair, Hiroto laid across him just as he was before. But both knew they could not ignore the steady movement of time in the background. Soon it would get late, soon they would have to part ways. Neither was ready for that prospect. "It feels like we've barely spent any time together." Hiroto murmured, arms anchoring themselves ever tighter around his boyfriend's waist.

They'd spent all of Sunday together, and had dinner together at Midorikawa's place that evening. Yet it still did not feel enough. They hadn't even been on a proper date yet. "I don't want the night to end." Ryuuji whispered against the other's pale skin. He felt a delicate hand being placed on his cheek, forcing him to look at the other. "Maybe it doesn't have to, the night's still young after all."

Midorikawa stared into those beautiful eyes, his thoughts and feelings exactly the same. He sat up slowly. "You're right, let's do something." Hiroto's face lit up "Okay, it's a date! Where do you want to go?" For some reason just saying the word date made him feel all giggly inside, like he was a teenager again. 'Wow, my first ever proper date with Ryuuji!"
Midorikawa interlocked their fingers, a smile stretching across his face. "I know just the thing! Suzuno sent me a message about it the other day, I think they're holding a roller disco this week down at the rink. We should go!"
Hiroto hopped off the bed, pulling his boyfriend with him and wrapping his arms around his waist. "Well then what are we waiting for?"

As it was getting a little late the rink wasn't too full by the time the couple arrived, however they did not care, the music was blasting, everyone was singing and dancing along having a great time.
"Oh I love this song!" Midorikawa exclaimed every time a new song played, he was an avid lover of 70s and 80s music (despite the fact that he couldn't ever seem to name the artists or the songs, something his friends always found terribly amusing). "It's um, umm, what's it called?!" He shouted as the two held onto each other for dear life as they attempted to skate around the rink.

'Attempted' being the key word; neither of the two had skated before and despite the fact Midorikawa had actually ice-skated on a number of occasions (he had Afuro to thank for that) roller skating was proving to be an entirely different beast. "It's 'Come and get your love' by Redbone Ryuuji!" Hiroto answered with a laugh.

The redhead had lost count of the number of times he had fallen on his butt during their little date. Not that either of the two seemed to really care however, they were having too much fun. Besides it gave them an excuse to hold on tightly to one another, a very welcome side effect to their predicament.
"Hey isn't that? It is! Hey Nagumo, Suzuno!" Midorikawa called to the couple who were busy pulling their skates off by the lockers. The two quickly skated (unsteadily) over to the edge of the rink before noticing that their friends also had Reina's twins with them.

"Ah so it looks like you two finally took our advice huh?" Suzuno remarked, noticing the arm Midorikawa had around the other's neck. "You could say that." Ryuuji said with a grin, pulling his boyfriend closer to him and planting a small kiss on his cheek, earning a scoff from Nagumo who was helping Osami tie her shoelaces. "Well it sure took you long enough." Midorikawa stuck his tongue out at him jokily.

"I really can't thank you two enough." Hiroto began, placing a hand on Suzuno's shoulder. "Really, if it wasn't for the two of you giving us the kick we needed we might have never ended up confessing to each other." He looked back at Midorikawa, beaming. "I can't tell you how happy I am right now." He said softly.
Nagumo just chuckled "No big deal, it's like I said, everyone knew you two were meant for each other, you guys were the only ones who didn't see it-"
"-But if you do think it's a big deal then we'll gladly accept gifts in the shape of alcohol or expensive chocolates." Suzuno added, eliciting a laugh from the other two.

"Anyway, we should be going, it's already past these little guy's bedtimes." Suzuno said to which Osami and Eichirou groaned. "See you guys." Nagumo said as they left the rink.
Hiroto looked over at his boyfriend "I'm kind of tired, want to call it a night?" he proposed, all that exercise had finally caught up to him.
"Yeah, I'm down for that." Midorikawa agreed, helping his boyfriend out of the rink and over to the lockers.

"I...really had fun tonight Kiyama." Midorikawa said as he stood outside the door to his apartment, the cold night air nipping at his skin.
"It wasn't how I imagined our first date would go, but it was still amazing. We should do this again, and soon." Hiroto stated, taking hold of his boyfriend's hand. Midorikawa tilted his head to the side. "You know, Thursday's my day off, if you wanted to go on our second first date." He said before unlocking his door and stepping inside, Hiroto smiled, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

"I'd love that."

(3am)

"You should come back to bed Mamoru." Kazemaru called as he walked down the stairs, wrapping his bathrobe loosely around his frame. "You'll end up hurting tomorrow if you stay down there all night." He continued, feeling his hair to find it was still a little damp from the shower he'd just taken. Endou didn't respond.
"Mamoru?" He asked, stepping into the living room where he'd left his husband. The lights were off but the tv was on, bathing the room in a ghostly haze, the softest murmers of cheers and praise entered his ears.

Endou was just sitting there, motionless, staring at the screen. Kazemaru didn't bother calling him again, instead he turned his own attention to the screen.
"And it's-oh wait, no I don't believe it it's another save by Endou!"
"No one can get past him today that's for sure."
"Well I think it's clear which team the goddess of victory is smiling on today!"
The camera zoomed in on Endou, who pumped his fist enthusiastically as the crowd chanted his name.

The camera turned to show Kazemaru, proudly sporting the FC Tokyo colours. "Woo! Go Endou!" He cheered loudly, his engagement ring flashing the lens for a moment before the camera once again focused back on the game.
Kazemaru sat down, resting his head on his husband's shoulder. "I remember that one. Four nil." He muttered. Endou only nodded slowly in response.

"C'mon baby, let's go back to bed." Kazemaru tried again, his fingers trailing gently across the other's chest. "It's late."
It was heartbreaking to see him like this, so absorbed in the past, unable to let it go. "Mamoru." He pleaded, turning Endou's chin to face him. "Babe?" There was something about the look in his eyes, a deep fondness that was trying so hard to mask regret.
These were the greatest moments of his life, playing out in spectacular technicolour, the crowd, the energy, the excitement- all for him.

But no more.
"I want the old you back."
"I miss seeing you smile Endou, miss seeing you so passionate about the things you enjoy."
Those had been Kazemaru's words, and like hell did they hurt. He didn't want to be like this anymore than his husband did. The old him, the Endou Mamoru everyone knew and loved, was he really gone? Was Kazemaru right?

Finally, he spoke.
"Sorry."
He gave a small smile but it was obvious that he was close to tears.
"Hey, for what?" Kazemaru asked quietly. He was already tired from their other arguments, he didn't want to get into all of it again.
"I...I don't know..." Endou whispered. "Just...I'm sorry for...me?..." His lip trembled "I just- this isn't w-what you wanted is it?"
"Endou I-" He'd never seen such vulnerability from his husband before. The look in Endou's eyes, it was just awful.

Endou shook his head, turning away from the other and picking up the remote to pause the tv. One swift movement, yet to Kazemaru it felt so long, he'd never seen him like this before. "That's who I'm supposed to be, that's who you fell in love with." Endou was pointing at the screen, at himself, in his prime, when everyone adored him. "If I c-could go back to that I would." He choked "I-if I could just-"
He squeezed his fists tightly, wanting to scream, yell, do something. It wasn't fucking fair.

"I can't remember the last time I smiled-properly smiled..." he whispered lowly "I've been pretending like everything's fine but it's not and I just...I miss my old life, I miss you being proud of me..."
It wasn't fair.
"I j-just can't-"
"Sssh, hey listen to me okay?" Kazemaru had stood up quickly, holding his husbands shoulders firmly. "Just look at me okay? Don't work yourself up baby, it's okay."  He couldn't bare to see his husband look so distraught anymore, his eyes had lost so much of their usual lustre and brilliance.

"Crap..." He hugged Endou tightly to his body, feeling the other's arms hesitate for a moment before holding onto him just as tightly. "Mamoru I'm sorry. That stuff I said...I didn't mean it like that, yes I said I miss the old you, the you that used to smile but- god- I just mean I want to see you smile again. I'm sorry for what I said, I was angry, we were both so frustrated and we have been for a long time. I'm sorry for making you feel like..." he shook his head, not knowing what to say. They'd only end up going round in circles again.

"I miss the old me too..."Endou whispered, feeling his husband's fingers leaving soothing trace marks on the light fabric of his t-shirt. He missed being the one everyone looked up to.
He's messed up, before, it was only halfway through high school that he'd managed to get out of his slump and get seriously back into football again. He told himself that even if his friends weren't beside him he'd do it; Kazemaru couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic every time he saw his friend running laps around the pitch, or doing his special tyre training. All alone. But that didn't matter to Endou, he couldn't just quit, he had to carry on.

However, the years away from the sport had not been kind to him, he wasn't good enough to qualify anymore, suddenly he was finishing school, his friends were all going to university; and for the first time Endou Mamoru found himself completely lost. All he ever wanted to do was play football, and he couldn't even do that, what was the point? He couldn't focus on anything- odd jobs provided some comfort, but not much, it couldn't fill the void. Maybe Natsumi could help him fill it?

It was when he started getting serious with Kazemaru that he finally decided it was time to fulfil his dream. He trained constantly, harder than he'd ever done before, blood, sweat and tears all to prove he was still the Endou Mamoru of legend. It paid off, by the time the two were married Endou was playing in the J1 League. He was achieving his life-long dream, with Kazemaru by his side.

Then it all came crashing down.
He remembered the day so clearly, he was out shopping, a silly, mundane thing- oolong tea, salmon onigiri and a croquette for his husband. Then there was the football, rolling quickly into the middle of the road, a small child frantically running after it as a car careened round the corner. It was a split-second reflex for the brunette.

He didn't expect it to hurt so much.
His quick actions saved the kid, but at the expense of himself. A broken wrist, a messed up leg that refused to heal properly. In such a condition he would never be able to play at that level again.
His career was finished overnight.
And no matter how many people revelled in his bravery, no matter how many times he was called a hero it couldn't mask the stinging feeling in his heart. It was over.

"I faded away into nothing."
They were on the sofa now, Kazemaru softly tracing the long, jagged scar that stretched from his his husband's inner thigh to the crook of his knee and just below. Endou was terribly self-conscious about it. "They treated me different." It was too much sympathy, somber faces and condolences, he was simply reduced to what happened to him.
It was hard on the relationship too- rehabilitation, pain medication, losing his career- it affected them both and Kazemaru didn't know what to do. He suggested Endou coach instead, since he'd fulfilled that role in his team- he tried but it was just horrible to him, he couldn't look at a football without feeling sick. That small fact hurt him more than anything else.

His change to a swimming coach was not expected at all, but it was a result of the months of hydrotherapy. If he couldn't teach the next generation his beloved sport at least he could teach children a vital skill whilst continuing the therapy on his leg at the same time. It was a compromise, like most things had become after the accident.

He hummed lightly as his husband tousled his hair softly. He missed these moments, just the two of them enjoying each other's touch.
"When I was struggling with my depression, do you know what helped me?" Kazemaru whispered, leaning down gently and listening to the beat of husband's heart. The other only let out a shaky breath in response, his chest rising as he tried to calm himself down again.
"It was you..." Kazemaru stated softly. "You were there for me, even though I pushed you away at first. You still stood by me, helped me, because you're not one to ever let a friend down. That's what I love about you." He looked up, stealing a glance towards the man he loved, his best friend. "I need to do the same."

"I can't take back the words I said. But I can say new ones. I want to try and help like you did me, we need to be there for each other; properly this time." Kazemaru looked at the clock on the wall and sighed, he needed to be up early tomorrow. Endou seemed to get the message, and finally the two left the sofa, determined to spend the rest of the night in comforting bliss.

"I want to start coaching kids again." Endou whispered just as Kazemaru was about to fall asleep. "In football. I can't keep running away from it forever, football is the one thing I love most in the world and I can't just give up on it." He turned to face his husband, caressing his face in the same way Kazemaru had done earlier. "I can't play anymore, but I can still teach the one thing I'm so passionate about to others. I want to try. I want to be brave again."
"You'll always be brave to me." Kazemaru breathed, drifting off into slumber.

Ah it's finally done! Ryuusei_Dragon this is for you, sorry to have kept you waiting for so long!😅
But I'm so glad it's finally done, this chapter always bothered me bc it was rly short, badly-written and added nothing to the story, but I've now re-worked the HiroMido part and added backstory to Endou and Kazemaru that I've been wanting to add for moths but never had the opportunity.

I couldn't keep Endou of all people away from football without a proper explanation, so here it is!
For most of this story I've stayed away from the actual sport side of Inazuma, and when I first started writing this (a LONG time ago) I didn't rly put much thought into the characters' backstories or jobs (Endou and Kidou are egregious examples😩), but I've been retconning this since.
Okay that's a big ramble, anyway thanks for the continued support everyone, I especially want to thank CityOfFragments, Ryuusei_Dragon and sinkingwmyships.

Thank you all and stay safe! X