Holding On~ The War On Drugs

(Back to Genda and Sakuma)
(Sakuma)

Everything was going well. It was lunchtime so we all sat down to enjoy the delicious food that Koujirou's family had brought; we had offered to make something as well but his parents had refused. To be honest there was already too much food- that's something I used to love when I was a kid, the Gendas always made so much food.

We just ate and talked- well I mostly just listened since I was still feeling a little nauseous. I got to catch up with Koujirou's younger brother Shunsuke who's been at university so that was cool too. He's rather like Koujirou, but more outgoing and extroverted. It was really nice, all his family eating with us like that. It's not something I've experienced in a long time.

The youngest of the Gendas, sixteen year old Kidae, was gushing to me about her exam results, which were amazing, and comparing them to Shunsuke's. I felt kind of sorry for him but he seemed to take it in jest-I guess you must have to when you have siblings, not that I would know anything about that...
I tried not to think about that, taking another bite of the Yakitori Chaya had made just as Koujirou's mum turned to me.

"So Jirou. When exactly do we get to meet Mr and Mrs Sakuma huh? Because I would really love to meet them soon!" she beamed and the smile that I originally had faded away as I just sat there staring at her blankly. I forgot that none of his family really knew, I remember how I hadn't told Genda and Kidou about what was happening for ages, and how I made them swear not to tell anyone else - I guess Koujirou kept his promise.

I looked down at my food, then over to Genda, silently asking him for my help. The whole table was quiet now, and all looking at me, my boyfriend grabbed my hand "Do you, want me to tell them?" he said sympathetically but after a while I shook my head. I took a shaky breath, feeling the anxiety begin to course through my body.
"Well, my mum kind of left when I was a child and... my dad has, separated all ties with me so, I guess the answer would be no." I whispered.

(Omniscient)
There was an awkward silence at the table. No-one said anything for a while, Kidae and Shunsuke exchanged nervous glances with their mum and brother. Sakuma looked at his food, wanting to explain but not wanting to. How could he even begin to explain something like that? He wished they'd never asked, but he knew the question was inevitable, he and Koujirou had been together for a long time, and his parents had never properly met when he was a child- of course that was before the incident.
They were bound to start getting curious.
'Maybe I should have lied, said they died or something?'
'They might as well have.'

Koujirou's father coughed as if to say something but his wife beat him to it, she pushed herself from out of her chair and hugged the young man tightly. Sakuma was used to this sort of behaviour of course, Yori was a very affectionate woman and unlike most people was not afraid to display that affection in front of others. Sakuma had realised that about her when he first met her as a child, and was taken aback by the way she had practically smothered him when Koujirou took him to properly meet his parents all those years later.
That's just how she was; warm, loving. But this hug was something more than that, it was more than just a simple hug, more than condolence or pity, more than love even- to Sakuma, it was her way of saying that she understood him. That he didn't need to say anything, didn't need to explain, that it didn't matter. It brought a tear to his eye.

She pulled away, gently brushing some misplaced blue hairs out of his face, very much in the same way Koujirou often did. "We'll always be here for you. We all love you, you're part of our family now..." she said softly, smiling warmly at him before sitting back down. Genda took hold of his boyfriend's hand, rubbing it ever so softly. "She's right you know, we all love you. You don't have to worry about anything, you always have me...and my family. I love you so much, I hope you know that."
Sakuma wanted to say that he knew, even more he wanted to kiss that beautiful man to whom he owed so much. Instead, he just squeezed the other's hand, his own little way of showing he understood.
Kisses could always wait for later.

After lunch everything seemed to go back to normal, Yori was having a quiet word with Sakuma whilst Kidae challenged her father to a game of Go. Shunsuke was, predictably, absorbed in his phone. Chaya got up, making her way into the kitchen where her younger brother was washing up.
"Sorry, we made a lot of mess for you guys huh?" She mused, taking a towel to start drying off the piled dishes. Her brother shook his head lightly "It's alright. It's nice to do this every once in a while, get the family all together."

Chaya nodded before letting out a small sigh "And if my husband could've been here that'd top it all off."
Chaya's husband had a notoriously harsh boss, it wasn't uncommon for him to spend upwards of ten hours at work every day. Genda himself had only met the man on a few occasions, and he was his brother-in-law for goodness sake.
'They're going to really have to change some things now that Chaya's having a baby...'

"Sakuma okay out there? They aren't...bearing down on him or anything?" He asked worriedly. As nice as his family were he felt a little bad just leaving his boyfriend alone with them. Hopefully they wouldn't bombard him with questions.
"No, mum's alright, she's just encouraging him." His sister replied. She laughed "To be honest I think Kidae's glad mum's attention is on someone else. They've been practically smothering her ever since Shunsuke went off to university."

Genda chuckled. As the two eldest, Chaya and himself had always been the responsible ones, whilst Shunsuke and especially the baby of the family Kidae had gotten it pretty easy. "Can't say I feel incredibly sympathetic to her."
"I shudder to think what mum and dad'll be like when she finishes school." Chaya said with a laugh.

"Sooooo?" She said, nudging her brother.
"What?"
"How have things been going, between the two of you?"
Genda dried his hands off, raising his eyebrow at her "Fine? What of it?"
Chaya sighed deeply, going over to the table and sitting down. "Can't I ask you about your relationship?" She smiled softly even if the tone was a little condescending. Koujirou followed suit, sitting next to her. "You aren't gonna ask about something weird are you?"
"Of course not, jeez you!" She hit his arm playfully. "No, I just meant because you seem like you two have settled well."

Genda looked around at the spotless kitchen "I suppose you could say that." He and Sakuma has worked hard enough for it.
The older sibling placed her hand on her brother's shoulder "Of course, I mean you worked hard for it. You two have been living together for so long now, both got very good jobs, and now such a nice house too..."
Genda looked at her and the other let out a short chuckle "Oh no, I'm not jealous of you two. I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you."
"Thanks. That means a lot sis." It really did. Genda has always looked up to her, she was the eldest after all, but she'd sacrificed and been through a lot to help the family. She'd always dreamed of going to university, like Koujirou, like Shunsuke. But with three children, and a fourth (very much unplanned) surprise in Kidae, she felt it would be better for her to get a job instead to help support the family. No one asked her too, in fact her mother discouraged it, but Chaya saw it as her responsibility. And now she was having a child of her very own. She was so brave.

"I'm just saying, now you two are stable, what's the plan?" She asked quietly.
'The plan?'
"What do you mean?" Genda asked and his sister gave him a sympathetic look.
"I mean...have you thought about asking him?"
Genda gave her a confused look "Ask him what?" To which his sister just huffed. "Jeez do I really have to spell it out to you? When are you going to ask him to marry you?"

Genda furrowed his eyebrows "Marriage?"
"Well, like I said, you're at a stable time in your lives. And it's clear you love each other dearly. You two are perfect for each other and we all love Sakuma-kun, I can't see a reason why you to shouldn't get hitched any day now. Everyone thinks so?" She answered, crossing her legs over each other.
"Everyone?" Her brother asked nervously.
"Well, mum and dad thought so, and they came to me asking if I knew anything- if you'd said anything. So I thought it best to ask you myself first before they pounce on you."
Genda thought about what his mother had said earlier, Sakuma being part of their family now-that sounded very much like...
He slumped back in his chair defeatedly "Ask him to marry me?" 
'She's right. I do love him, dearly. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but him, and I'm sure he must feel the same.'
'Well, I hope he feels the same.'
'And my family seems to think it's the right thing to do...'
'But with everything that's been going on lately...I'm not sure, maybe now isn't a good time?'

"To be honest, we've been dating-we've been together, for a really long time. But when we started dating we agreed we'd take it slow, make sure we're both ready. That still applies now I think..." he muttered, deflated. He let out a deep sigh "I love him... and I want to do whatever makes him happy... but to be honest we've never really talked about it, I'm worried about what he'll say..." Genda stated sadly, Chaya put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small smile.

"Then talk to him. Whatever you two decide to do, we'll be with you all the way okay?" she said comfortingly and Genda smiled back.
"Thanks."
"No problem." She took her hand off his shoulder, standing up "Sorry to drop this on you so suddenly. Don't worry too much about it."
Genda was unsure of what to say to that- how could he not worry about it? "I should get back to Jirou." He replied, keen to be back in the arms of his boyfriend.

((Wow two updates in two days! I'm glad I got to re-write this (and give it a new name), like I said, the new chapter 82 will be a while since I'm very busy so I like to revisit my older chapters in the meantime. I used to always skip over this chapter since I hated the way I wrote it initially, but I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do now.

Kisses! ))