you've done more than what you think.

TAEHYUNG WASN'T ALONE. he wasn't lonely, either.

well, he might have been, but it's not as if he felt like it was a problem.

not until now, of course. now, he was having second thoughts.

because maybe having the pretty raven-haired boy over wasn't the greatest idea. maybe inviting him on the latter part of the weekend was also a bad idea.

taehyung was lost in his mind, but he wasn't alone there.

but he knew it couldn't be helped. it was hard to make up for the silent gaps where a person fits in when you're alone.

taehyung's first attachment was his mother.

taehyung has forever been searching for his second.

nothing ever teaches you how to live like your mother. none of his experiences ever told him to be kind. nothing he's ever done let him know how to treat person. and no one he's ever met ever showed him how to be one.

that's why taehyung didn't get with many people. subsequently, it proved to be pointless.

so easily is one lost in their thoughts, taehyung wondered. so easily are they forgotten.

sleeping at night is easy for someone with distractions, but taehyung's distractions are what kept him up, thinking, staring at the void of his ceiling until his eyes got tired of it.

he wanted to know how jeongguk felt.

he wanted to know if he felt alone, because maybe then his feelings would be justified.

Δ

TAEHYUNG »
are we still on for tonight?

NAMJOON «
:)

Δ

as soon as he entered the bar, he regretted almost every decision he made that day.

he should not have agreed to come here. he should not have agreed to drive here by himself. he definitely should not have worn these shoes with these pants.

and perhaps the black choker adorning his neck was overdoing this outfit as well, but he couldn't deny that he looked kind of good with it. he wasn't even particularly sure how he acquired it, either, since it wasn't something he'd normally buy on his weekly trip for ramen.

the cypher bar was drenched in purple lighting, with chromium accents on the tables, booths, and bar stools. the aesthetic was very modern and intimidating, with electro dance music pulsing in his ears and his heart.

to say taehyung wasn't a bit frightened was a lie.

but he put himself in this mess to take his mind off things, so now he had to go through with it.

plus, it was a pain to get these jeans on, and he didn't feel like backing out now.

swallowing, he made his way to a corner where he could text namjoon, pushing past sweaty bodies and desperately attempting not to touch anyone in fear of initiating an awkward conversation.

TAEHYUNG »

where are you?

NAMJOON «

Oh lmao I forgoT TO TELL YOU HAHA

NAMJOON «

I'm at the bar :)))

mentally cursing, he fought his way back, searching for the older male. he spotted him, bleach-blonde hair slicked back as he winked not-so-subtley at the handsome bartender serving him.

"namjoon hyung," taehyung practically breathed out as he awkwardly fumbled into the shiny barstool next to him.

namjoon grinned at him, lips curling around a sherry glass. "so you came."

not like i had a choice. "it seemed like fun."

"told ya," he responded with a smirk, his slur more prominent now.

taehyung wondered how many drinks he had, and whether or notthey were just to see the pretty bartender.

"so whaddaya wanna drink? they got some stellar originals, man, i don't even know what I'm drinkin'." namjoon swirled the green liquid around for emphasis. taehyung bit his lip.

taehyung fiddled with his shirt collar. "i don't know much about alcohol, hyung."

"look at this, tae, they got soju from beijing here, isn't that cool?"

"hyung," he repeated.

namjoon turned to him, drunken smile still wide. "yes? taehyung?"

ducking his head, he mumbled, "i - i can't hold my alcohol very well, so i'd prefer if you didn't-"

"ohh!" namjoon said loudly, in realization. "tae's a lightweight!"

blushing, taehyung swatted at namjoon's arm. "namjoon!" he hissed, but the elder ignored him.

"yo, can i get a bottle of andong soju for my buddy over here?" namjoon yelled to the bartender, as taehyung's mouth dropped open. "need to get 'im a bit looser if we gonna have any fun tonight."

"andong? namjoon, that's so strong, i can't-"

"and you said you didn't know anythin' about alcohol," namjoon teased, smiling. taehyung's heart shook as he hid it behind his hand.

when the bartender came back with the slender white bottle, blushing at the practically illegal looks namjoon was giving him, namjoon snatched it off the counter and slid off the bar stool. "let's go find the others, yeah?" namjoon proclaimed, not really waiting for taehyung's answer. he followed at namjoon's heels, trying not to make eye contact with any of the waitresses with their tight-fitting clothing or any sordid-looking males with predatory smiles.

"yoongi-yah!"

"namjoon-ssi!"

namjoon found the other two men, sitting at a circular table, conveniently for four that forced him to sit between namjoon's friends.

min yoongi and jung hoseok were childhood friends of namjoon, both as widely successful and wealthy as he was. yoongi, a pretty-eyed pale face from daegu, was a producer and part time rapper that looked unreadable to taehyung most of the time. hoseok was a professional choreographer with a heart-shaped smile that worked with idols taehyung couldn't have imagined meeting.

both were very, very terrifying to taehyung, but had an ever-growing interest in namjoon's "little friend".

"it's been a long time since we've seen you, taehyung." words seemed to spill from min yoongi's lips like wine.

"mm." taehyung eyed the soju in namjoon's hand.

yoongi, seeming irritated by lack of response, simply tutted in reply to taehyung's relief.

"what've you been up to, taetae?" hoseok asked sweetly, leaning toward him as if he were the most interesting person in the world. taehyung blinked.

"nothing much. just work," taehyung mumbled, trying to casually curve the conversation as he inched his hand towards the andong. namjoon slid it to him across the table.

hoseok seemed delighted by his response, despite it being a rather generic one. "me too! ugh, it's so good to just hang out with your friends and relax after a long week, isn't it?" he twittered, resting his hand on his chin.

screwing off the cap, taehyung nodded, and ignored the burning sensation in his throat in favor for the lightheadedness it would soon provide him.

"tae, why don'cha tell 'em more 'bout yourself?" namjoon suggested innocently, playing around with his drink.

taehyung glared at him while yoongi seemed to inch closer, just in the slightest.

"you were so quiet last time," yoongi murmured, in a tone taehyung couldn't discern. "i'd like to get to know you a little bit better."

taehyung smiled nervously, hiding his heart behind his sleeve. "i'm not that interesting, i assure you."

"ah, but a cutie like you is sure t'have a few stories," hoseok said invitingly. taehyung hesitated before taking another sip.

and another.

and another, till his vision got hazy enough that he could barely see namjoon's chesire smile from across the table.

the bright colors drowned away from taehyung's ears, and the music drummed in his heart. taehyung was more smiley when he was drunk, a lot more lenient.

this is what got people addicted, this languid, swirling feeling in taehyung's eyes and his stomach. pleasurably dangerous.

he didn't really care. everything seemed funnier to him now, and yoongi's face looked prettier and hoseok's smile was warmer. it was better, he swore, with the soju trickling down his throat.

the unease in taehyung's manner lifted, and the four of them talked and joked as if they did everyday.

"wh'bout that girl group you've debuted?" namjoon asked yoongi, who, when not adding his snide two-cents, was getting the pink-faced bartender wrapped around his little finger.

"oh, glam? i shoulda never made those girls famous." yoongi's lisp was a lot more prominent after a few drinks. "considerin' their salary, they really shouldn't be lookin' for a sugar daddy, but they still all over me whene'er I try'ta have meetings wi' 'em."

"maybe ya shouldn't have called it, min suga entertainment, yoongi," hoseok said, giggling. "min salt would have fit better."

taehyung laughed as yoongi cursed at him, and that's the way it continued the entire night. talking. laughing. drinking.

taehyung was greatful for the distraction. a bottle of soju bought from the grocery store down the street would have had the same effect, but the lights and sweat and boys wouldn't have been there, and it wouldn't have been the same.

taehyung didn't notice yoongi's hand on his thigh. he also didn't notice hoseok holding his hand for the last thirty minutes.

what he did notice that he was running out of soju, namjoon, could you order some more? and it's getting kind of hot in here, don't you think?

Δ

1500+ words jesus christ

i was looking forward to writing this chapter sm im in love with it

the next one is going to be pretty fun as well aaaa

nice change of pace from the last one tho eyy we're havin more of that soon winku

by e