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THE hot pot was stuck in his throat when he followed Yuyan's line of sight into the pretty face of Mark Lee. He almost dropped his chopsticks. Yuyan was so obviously in love with Mark that it felt like a dagger was turned in his chest and he was bleeding out.

He wanted to go home. Yet he stayed. Yuyan was laughing at a dumb soccer joke Mark told while sipping on his water. He quickly eyed Renjun and nodded. „This hot pot is spicy!" His laugh rang in Renjun's ear like an annoying beeping in his ear.

„Oh, I think it's pretty mild", Renjun commented—the sarcasm dripping off his tongue like thick honey. Yuyan turned to him and eyed him with a sceptic look. She cocked her eyebrow and turned back to Mark.

Renjun didn't even care what Yuyan thought of him at the moment. He wanted Mark to be gone. It should've been him, who was sitting opposite of Yuyan and catching all these cute looks she was sending the goalie.

But it was Mark who earned every smile and all those god damn heart eyes. Renjun stuffed his mouth with a big piece of sliced meat. He almost choked but ignored it. He tried to chew the meat, without breaking out in tears.

Yuyan told Mark about her upcoming mock exams and how nervous she was. „I don't want to fail. My parents said I'll have to go back to China if I mess up studying here." A chuckle left her lips. She didn't want to leave Korea.

Mark was here. Chunhei was here. Yuyan looked to her left where Renjun was struggling to chew a piece of meat. A warm smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Renjun was here. The weird, nosy Chinese lad she had met by accident and who welcomed her with open arms. Yuyan quickly looked back to Mark.

She didn't want Renjun to realize she was staring at him. She laughed at another silly joke Mark told and glanced back to Renjun. The thin boy was glancing down at his phone and typing furiously.

Yuyan had realized that Renjun had hesitated before allowing Mark to tag along. And Yuyan knew it was pretty selfish of her to invite the goalie, but it seemed like her only chance to meet Mark outside of school and maybe become a somebody to Mark.

It was all she ever wanted. Being somebody to Mark. Someone he could call his own. A sigh left her lips, while she nibbled on some veggies. She was happy that Mark was here with her. And she was happy Renjun was here too; even if he was cockblocking her and Mark's date a lot.

She widened her eyes. This wasn't  a date between her and Mark! Renjun had invited her for hot pot, not the other way around. Yuyan quickly turned her face to Renjun, who seemed to completely ignore her and Mark.

The Chinese lad was stirring the pot with his chopsticks until he found something he could devour and Yuyan pressed her lips together. She knew her inviting Mark wasn't what Renjun had wanted. But she was glad she did. Even if it damaged her and Renjun's friendship—that was barely a friendship anyway.

„When are your mock exams?" Yuyan asked and looked at Renjun only. Even Mark turned to him and Renjun looked up and pointed at his chest. Yuyan nodded. „They're starting next week", he answered and blushed. Yuyan was looking at him for the first time today! His heart jumped up and new flowers blossomed in his lungs.

Hope blossomed in Renjun's inside and he thought that this date could turn out okay after all. But this thought disappeared immediately when Mark ordered a chocolate milkshake with two straws for dessert and offered Yuyan to drink with him.

Yuyan froze in her spot until she took the straw in her mouth and locked eyes with Mark, before sipping on the sweet treat. Renjun had hidden his fists under the table, waiting for this horrendous date to end.

Renjun came home around three in the afternoon. Shortly after the lunch with Yuyan and Mark ended, he zaboomafooed back home. He thanked Yuyan for taking her time to eat with him and thanked Mark for joining them. Even if he wasn't thankful at all.

Once he turned the key to his dorm room and entered the safe space of his own flat, he broke down on his knees and held the fabric over his chest. His heart seemed to have stopped working, as soon as he took off his worn-out sneakers and walked towards his bed.

It was aching like a mad man and the flowers Renjun felt inside his chest were poking his lungs and making it hard for the boy to breathe. Why did he even fell in love with Yuyan? Why did he think that he, HE, would have a chance with a beauty like Xiao Yuyan?

He was just Renjun who studied piano and liked painting and drawing in his free time. He liked listening to indie music and liked paintings. He liked collecting art books of Monet and van Gogh. He liked wearing brown colours as soon as it got colder outside. He liked hanging out with Donghyuck and talk about everything and nothing at all. He liked Xiao Yuyan—even if it was killing him inside.

With a heavy sigh, Renjun laid down in his bed. The afternoon sun was shining brightly through his windows and painting funny shadows in Renjun's room. The student took out his phone and saw a message from his best friend. A relieved sigh left his lips once again.

Puzzlepiece 🧩: I just arrived at Seoul Station. Will be there in half an hour. Drink Oolong! I'm there as quick as possible. — H.

Renjun smiled and pressed his phone tight to his chest. He felt bad for calling for Donghyuck when latter was on a date himself. He didn't want to be that friend that ruined chances for Donghyuck. But he felt like imploding and really needed his friend right now.

Renjun sat up in his bed and walked over to his little kitchen, taking a bottle of Oolong tea out of his fridge and sitting down at his desk, taking a big sip of the refreshment. He felt a calming sensation was over him immediately.

He looked through his sketches until he found the picture of Yuyan that he had drawn one lonely night when his mind was clouded with pictures and thoughts of the pretty Chinese lass. The picture showed her and her phone on the day that he had first met her at the gallery.

He couldn't forget her face and form at all. So he drew her. The picture was beautiful—yet unfinished. And now Renjun didn't know if he would even be able to finish it. He already knew he lost Yuyan, so why finish a random picture of her.

Anger washed over Renjun and he started ripping apart the Gouache painting of Yuyan. He hated himself for falling for a girl that was already in love with someone else—again.

It wasn't Renjun's first time feeling these flowers in his lungs. It wasn't the first time he had started falling for someone that liked someone else. Renjun threw the pieces that were left of Yuyan's painting on the floor.

Remembering his sophomore year in high school made him angry. He had a crush on a sweet classmate of his and she had always been nice to Renjun. Renjun had asked Donghyuck what to do about this crush and Donghyuck had told him that he should ask her out.

„Ask her to be your partner for the spring dance!" Donghyuck had said and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. „The worst thing that could happen is that she says no."

Renjun had asked her out and she said yes. He was excited the whole week until it was time for the spring dance. His classmate had looked beautiful in the cream coloured dress and the dress shoes. She had smiled at him and danced with him for a while until she leaned in. Renjun's heart started beating extra hard, he was expecting her to kiss him— „Would you mind being my wingman for Seongmin-ah?", she had asked and Renjun felt all the air leave his lungs. He felt dizzy and looked at his crush with the biggest eyes.

Renjun still wondered why he said ‚yes' to her question. He had watched his crush be swept away right in front of him. And he learned that the two of them got together shortly after the spring dance. Renjun had played wingman for his own crush.

And now he was a freshman in university and did the same shit he did back in high school. He should've told Yuyan that he didn't want Mark to join them. He should fight for Yuyan.

He looked at the ripped shreds of paper on the floor and started picking them up. „Fuck the flowers", he said to himself, „fuck the pain I'm in. I want Yuyan to be mine. He took a deep breath and laid all the pieces on the desk.

He was fighting for Yuyan. He was making her fall in love with him. He wasn't giving up before it was too late. He took out his phone and searched for Yuyan's number. A deep breath and he started typing. Once he pressed the send button, he heard a hectic knock on his door.

With a brave smile, he opened the door to a breathless Lee Donghyuck, that was holding himself on the frame of the door.