At first, all Barry could feel was the sadness, the crushing betrayal.

Then he felt the rage.

It coursed through his veins like lighting, making every ounce of his body ache with anger. With betrayal. With hurt.

With rage.

How could they do that to him? They-they-they had let it happen! Allowed it to happen!

They had broken his spirt...

...And he didn't know if it could be fixed.

...

Barry had spent years learning to hide his emotions. He had just never had a serious reason to use that skill.

Now, he did.

Quicker than Jesse Quick herself, Barry rearranged his features, making it impossible to tell what he was feeling.

He could hear Caitlin say his name, and he turned to her, blank look on his face. It was extremely difficult not to lash out. Hit them. Hurt them. 

Break them.

Somehow, he resisted.

Barely.

He knew that things were going to be different from how they used to, but maybe they could get back there.

Hopefully they could get back there.

...

"WHAT!?!?!?" Barry screamed. Iris and Joe gulped. This might be a tab bit harder than they thought it would be...

"You lost your job, Barry," Joe sighed sadly. "And you just let it happen?" Barry questioned, deadly quiet.

Joe and Iris weren't thinking. That's their excuse for what happened next.

"Yes?" Iris said, hiding cowardly behind Joe. (For good reason!)

Barry's entire body started to vibrate so fast, sparks started flying off him, and electrifying the air. It was amazing and terrifying all at once.

"Bear?" Iris squeaked, but Barry was too caught up in his anger. They had let Singh take his job away! There was no forgiveness for that.

Suddenly, Barry was upstairs, and not entirely sure how he had gotten up there. It took a moment, but he realized that he was in the bathroom.

With the door closed.

And locked.

And a razor in hand.

How did that even happen?

...

Len had felt heartbreak before. He knew what it felt like, to have one of the only people who matter to you suddenly say they didn't want you, didn't care about you, but this was a whole new level.

Flashback (Or, Coldback, if you will. ;D)

Len looked up. He couldn't believe it. He had thought things were doing well, not getting worse.

How could this be happening?

"No, Carter, please," Len begged as Carter turned his back to him. "I still love you!" Len cried out. Carter continued to walk away, never looking back. "You will find someone else to love," he said, never stopping. 

Len felt his heart shatter. "What did I do?" he asked, but Carter was already gone, never to look back.

End of Coldback

To this day, he still remembered the feeling of abandonment.

The hurt.

The pain.

The grief.

The rage.

...

"What is the last thing you remember?" Sara asked. Len shrugged. "I dunno," he said, obviously ignoring her. Sara rolled her eyes. "Len," she pressed, slowly starting to get angry, but Len couldn't care less.

He missed Barry. He missed all of the cheesy moments, the ones where Barry recreated romance scenes from movies. (Barry had already done Lady and the Tramps noodle scene, Love, Actually's To me, you are perfect sigh, and Pretty Lady's climbing the fire escape. Barry's even scared of heights, which only made it better!)

He missed the way Barry would look at him like he was the world, like he was perfect. (Pun intended) He missed Barry's kisses, sometimes being short and sweet, otherwise being long and romantic. 

He missed Barry.

...

"Barry?" he heard Joe call desperately up the stairs. "I'm fine," Barry sighed. "I just need some time alone."

He could practically hear Joe nod. Then he realized: he was still sparking! After 5 minutes, (In Flashtime) he managed to get it to stop. Then he turned his attention back to the knife.

Why did he even have it? That was what confused Barry the most.

He didn't even remember grading it. To be fair, he didn't remember much of the last ten minutes, but still. He felt like he should have remembered the cold touch of blade against his skin, death calling out to him, begging him to join the fun.

But he didn't. 

And that was how he was locked in a bathroom with a knife in hand.

...

Caitlin was genuinely scared. What if something happened to Barry? What if Joe and Iris couldn't stop him?

He could run way faster than any of them could even guess, let alone predict when he was in a state like this. What if he was even faster? 

She couldn't afford that to happen.

But how could she prevent it?

...

He remembered the videos he had watched. He had wanted to be prepared. 

He remembered exactly how to put the knife against his wrist without killing himself, how to fix it if he bled too much. When to stop, when the blood was too much, and how to avoid passing out. 

He knew exactly how to do this.

But did he want to? Did he want to see the blood slowly slide down his arm? Did he want to keep another secret from his family? 

Was he even ready to do this?

Then he thought about Len. What he had said, what he had done. How he had broken Barry's heart. Then he thought about his family. About what Wally had admitted to, about them letting them take away his job, about how they had reacted to Flashpoint, how they would react to Flashpoint 2.0, about how they seemed to have lost all faith in him.

At first, he had felt sadness. Overwhelming sadness, empty of all joy. Then he had felt shock, shock that they could do this to him, and that they could lose their faith in him.

Then he had felt rage. Pure rage, angry beyond reason. At everyone, everything. 

Then, because he was so angry, his subconscious started to take over.

And he made the first cut.

...

Note: Sorry! I couldn't find any pictures to show Barry nearly as angry as he is in this chapter. 

Caitlin will become a very big part of the story as it continues, seeing as she is the only understanding one because of Ronnie. 

Honestly, you'd think Eddie would help Iris understand, but nope. Also, there is a lot of west hate moving forward. Especially of Iris and Wally. 

Also, that wasn't the last of the Legends.