¡trigger warning!

***

seungmin woke up facing his room's familiarly dark ceiling, which led him to believe that maybe he'd imagined everything. that maybe that feeling of ecstasy he'd experienced after tasting his own blood had all been in his head. because after all, how could he have ended up straight on his bed without any one around if the last thing he'd remembered was fainting?

that theory in itself wasn't that convincing, but seungmin just wanted to find some sort of explanation as to why he acted the way he did.

with a bit of determination involved, he sat up on his bed and examined his fingers, looking for any injury that he may have sustained.

but to his relief, and worry, he found nothing.

seungmin released a sharp exhale as he wondered what time it was, and if he should call hyunjin and tell him what happened?

but you'll just freak him out even more, seungmin's mind hissed at him. you don't even have any marks on your fingers, so you probably just imagined the whole thing. don't cause any more trouble.

seungmin gritted his teeth in frustration. what was happening to him?

sensing that his parents were possibly still asleep, he walked up to the drawer close to his bed. with a deep inhale, he yanked it open, staring hard at the phone inside it. he quickly made a grab for the device and switched it on, his thumb hovering over the heart you app. he'd never gotten into deleting it off his phone. he couldn't.

but before he could press it though, he received a text message from hyunjin.

hyunjin

hyunjin: sorry if this is super late

hyunjin: but, i just couldn't sleep. i'm really worried

hyunjin: especially about you, and about what dahyun had said to us about that whole wendigo issue

hyunjin: but, you're probably asleep by now, but if you're reading this right now and choosing not to reply just for the heck of it, you should really go to sleep.

hyunjin: don't worry about me, i suck at sleeping. but you need your sleep

hyunjin: i want you to get better

hyunjin: for me :)
seen

seungmin is typing...

seungmin: ew

hyunjin: go to sleep :)

seungmin: i can't.

seungmin: i'm just gonna
stay up

hyunjin: sleeeeepppp

seungmin: tell me something entertaining

hyunjin: sleeping for 8 hours a night helps you recover faster

seungmin: why are you being like this?

hyunjin: like what?

seungmin is typing...

seungmin: nothing

hyunjin: let me tell you something

hyunjin: a story if you will

seungmin: what is it?

hyunjin: there was this guy in his twenties in college

hyunjin: he got texts on his phone from this unknown guy that seemed like a stalker, and then the guy kept pestering him, and you know what the college guy did?

seungmin: what?

hyunjin: he said he had enough and met up with the stalker guy. and then they had a fight and boom!

hyunjin: college guy beat up the stalker guy, and then he lived happily ever after!

hyunjin: the end :)

seungmin: wow. so creative hyunjin

hyunjin: i know

hyunjin: but seriously, get some sleep

hyunjin: dream of me :>

seungmin: idk

seungmin: but, change of topic

seungmin: did you ever come to delete heart you like dahyun told you to?

hyunjin: of course i did. why are you asking?

hyunjin: do you still have it on your phone? it's dangerous, seungmin

seungmin is typing...

seungmin: of course not

seungmin: i was just
making sure.

hyunjin: seungmin

seungmin: i'm going to sleep now

seungmin: and i'll dream of you, don't worry

hyunjin: i'll visit you tomorrow, okay? i'll bring some snacks as well

seungmin: thanks

guilt ebbed its way into seungmin, most especially at the fact that he just lied to hyunjin about deleting heart you from his phone. he still had his account, and he'd chatted with that suspicious guy recently as well, even if their conversations now went nowhere.

he lay on his bed, thinking about the strange occurrences that took place tonight. his mind went every which way trying to make sense of it all, but it was no use. he just wanted to end everything altogether.

he stared at his open palms, noticing the way the light that filtered through the curtains lit them up. they looked porcelain, not real.

before he could halt himself, seungmin ran to his window and pushed the curtains apart, letting in more light from the bright and round moon.

pain pierced every part of his insides when -- with gritted teeth and a locked jaw -- he grabbed his left thumbnail and harshly pulled on it. hot tears sprung from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks at the force, his mind screaming obscenities at him for the risky action he was talking.

seungmin, are you crazy? stop!

but seungmin couldn't. he had to know if what he saw earlier tonight had been real.

he needed to.

more tears ran down his face and stung his eyes when out of nowhere, the injured thumb started to heal, exposed under the moonlight. seungmin watched with wide, bloodshot eyes as the blood started to reduce and the pain started to subside.

seungmin wanted to bawl his eyes out.

***

school was the same. it was still uneventful, it was still boring as heck, and it still had the same faces.

seungmin never wanted to return to school today, but according o his parents, he'd gotten extremely better over the last few days and he didn't want to do something that would worry them more. he didn't want to actually end up being admitted at an hospital.

hyunjin was by his side the whole time, talking to him and helping him out with the subjects he didn't exactly get, and seungmin was eternally grateful. but, that just made the guilt he felt at lying to his friend more prominent.

things started to get worse around lunch time. seungmin couldn't eat anything, even though he was starving. the food looked gross, and he felt like he'd throw up if he even attempted taking a bite out of his plate.

but, the hunger never left. it only grew as the afternoon classes commenced, becoming more and more noticeable and painful. it felt as if his stomach was being dug out with a shovel and emptied, and that feeling prevented him from concentrating properly on anything.

fuck, he was a mess.

"i-i really need to go home now," seungmin told hyunjin the moment the bell rang.

the taller boy's dark eyebrows furrowed both in confusion and worry as he exited the class next to seungmin.

"really? i thought we would be hanging out at my place today. maybe play some video games to take our minds off the stuff that happened lately -- "

"i know," seungmin cut in, his voice harsher than he'd intended. at his friend's crestfallen expression he sighed. "i know... but i'm sorry. i just need to go home like, right now."

"then i'll come with."

"alone," seungmin snapped with a glare. "so leave me alone."

"seungmin," hyunjin called after the younger male who'd started marching away from him. "seungmin, please, what's wrong? i -- are you okay?"

seungmin continued to walk, his breath coming out in quick, uneven intervals. his chest felt compressed beyond compare, and he wanted to fall down and just disappear.

he'd rounded a new street when hyunjin held his arm.

"seungmin!" he exclaimed, his voice firmer than ever. "what the fuck is up with you?"

seungmin grabbed hyunjin's fist with a snarl, digging his nails into the soft flesh of the older's wrist. he glared at his friend, and kept his nails on hyunjin's wrist until the older's expression grew panicked and hurt.

"s-seungmin -- " hyunjin cried out, staring at his wrist in shock.

seungmin felt sick the moment his eyes landed on hyunjin's now bloodied wrist. he let go, his palms spasming.

"i-i'm sorry," he stuttered, keeping his gaze on the gritty grounds. "i need to go."

hyunjin's lower lip trembled, but yet, he kept walking after seungmin. "seungmin, wait."

"hyunjin, please leave me alone. i need some time by myself," seungmin spat out, the metallic smell of hyunjin's blood wafting into his nostrils and clouding his senses. his stomach growled, and he couldn't think properly, beads of sweat forming at his temple.

"seungmin -- "

"hyunjin."

"it's my blood, isn't it?"

veins pulsed through seungmin's neck at hyunjin's surprising words.

he quickly turned around, his eyes immediately landing on hyunjin's red wrist. "...what?"

hyunjin's eyes filled with an understanding that made seungmin's stomach flip and heat rush to his cheeks. "you want my blood."

"no i don't!" seungmin spat, feeling defensive all of a sudden.

"seungmin -- "

"hyunjin, just fuck off, okay? leave me alone and don't call me tonight."

"seungmin, just talk to me."

"get lost hyunjin!" seungmin bit his lip, his vision getting all messed up with unshed tears. he started to run off, and luckily, hyunjin didn't chase after him.