He doesn't answer my question and I get the courage to ask another one. "Do you like me, Dean?" I whisper as my heart palpates fast. He looks at me then down at the floor. "Just forget it." I get up from the table and he gets up too. "No sit down, please." I don't know why but I sit down. Maybe because I want to hear what he has to say. But then again I don't.

"You won't talk to me. And you won't answer my questions, so why stay?" I say looking at him. "It's hard for me to open up myself to you. It's hard talking to you Aj." He says slowly. "How? Why? I don't get it Dean. I don't get how you can talk to every Diva except me. What is it about me? Why can't you be like that with me?"

"Because I can't. You're different." He sighs, "How?" I ask. He takes a while to answer which bothers me, what's there to think? "It's just that you- well you.. You get along very well with guys and I don't like that. I don't want to be just a another guy." I look down at my hands trying to hide my pain.

He thinks I'm a whore. Just like everybody else. I bite the inside of my lip trying to stop these sad feelings. But I can't. "You think I'm a whore, don't you?" I whisper ashamed. "No! I didn't mean it to come out like that-"

"But that's what you meant Dean. You don't have to lie, and maybe I am a whore. I've been called that so much I'm starting to believe it." I keep my focus on the floor so I won't have to face him. "You're not a whore Aj. I don't think that. I'm just afraid." He says, I get the courage to look at him. "Afraid to be seen with a girl like me? Is it because of my reputation? Is it because you're afraid people will think you're dating me because of the storyline?"

"No it's nothing like that." He says and I run my fingers through my messy hair. "I'm pretty sure it is something like that. I mean you just said you don't want to be another guy. But you don't understand Dean, nobody understands."

My breathing gets faster and I feel some kind of sadness and anger at the same time. "Do you know why I talk to guys? Do you know why I've dated so many guys?" He shakes his head no and keeps looking at me.

"It's because nobody likes me. Boys are nice to me Dean, and I know they're just nice to me because they think I'm an easy girl. I know they're nice to me because of my body, because of my face. But that's okay with me, I'm used to being used .. And I just want somebody to like me. It doesn't matter in what way- I just want to feel important and feel like somebody actually cares. All the Divas hate me, and I don't know why. You don't know the things they say and do to me, you don't know how cruel their looks are. That's why I always talk to guys. Because I know no matter what they'll talk to me. And I know I have low expectations, I know I should value myself more but it's impossible to do that when I feel worthless. When everybody tells me I'm worthless. I never thought about talking to you, but once I did it somehow impacted me. It bothered me that you didn't like me- because you're a man. And I thought you'd like me just because I'm Aj, but you didn't. You showed no interest in me. I tried so hard but in reality I just wanted you to like me.. Not in a girlfriend way I just wanted you to like me in general."

I feel a tear fall as I feel great relieve. I needed to tell somebody that. I needed to let somebody know why I'm friends with guys at least now he knows what people say about me isn't true. "I had no idea." He whispers, he reaches over the table and wipes my tears. "I'm sorry- I will never forgive myself for acting so mean to you. Truth is you intimidated me. I know I flirt with divas but that's just playing, and every time I see you I swear I feel different. It's something I can't explain, every time I think of you my stomach flip flops. I've never felt this- I was afraid to fall for you. I was afraid of getting hurt, of being vulnerable. Because you're my weak spot, I didn't want to feel that way so I thought pushing you away would stop the feelings. I thought being mean to you would help me forget. But they didn't. And my feelings for you, they keep growing everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. Damn Aj, you got me all crazy for you." He holds my hands and a tingly sensation goes all through my body.

"So you like me? Honestly? You're not lying to me?" I start to smile big and I feel happy. True happiness. He actually likes me. And he doesn't like me in a sexual way or anything, he likes me for me.

"I've never been more serious in my life." His beautiful eyes meet mine and I don't want him to ever let go of my hand. But then I remember that I can't allow myself to fall for him.

Because that's unacceptable.