*Zac*
My phone rings and I see it is Shekinah. I don't know why, but I get this really bad feeling and I pick it up asking. "Is everything okay ?"

"No Zac.. You need to come to the hospital right away.. I am so sorry.. it was a drunk driver I think... Kate pushed Mirabella out of the way and got hit herself... You need to get here now". I can hear my sister is crying.

"We are on the way". I say and hang up with shaking hands. I run to the car and stop by Kate's parents on the way.. picking them up too.

I can't get there fast enough. It feels like I have a burning ball of lead in my stomach. This have to be a nightmare.. the worst one.. Please someone wake me up.. like now.

When we arrive at the hospital I run inside. Finding my sister pacing the waiting room. "Where is she ? Where is Kate ? Is she okay ?" I grab Shekinah's shoulders almost shaking her.

"They are operating on her right now... Zac, it is bad sweetie... It's really bad. They don't know if she is gonna make it". She says, pulling me into a tight hug.

The next hour is the worst in my life... I am nervously pacing the the waiting room. Hoping for news. Praying for something positive. She has to be okay. She just has to be okay... For me and for Mirabella, who is luckily sleeping peacefully right now.

"What happened Shekinah ?" I ask her...Not for the first time. But it is like I need to hear it over and over. Trying to understand it.

"We were eating at a cafe... A car suddenly runs up on the sidewalk coming right for Mirabella... Kate jumped up at pushed the baby carriage to safety. The car hit her instead". She tells me again... She has her arm in a sling. The car had pushed a table hard into her breaking her arm.

I sit down hiding my face in my hands. "Oh God sis...What do I do if she.. doesn't make it ? I can't, I just can't do it...I can't live without her... Please tell me she will be okay".

"Zac, I pray that she is going to be okay... But if the worst thing happen, you need to be strong...You need to fight like never before. Because that precious little baby girl will need you all the more if her mother isn't here". She says and I know she is right.

*Shekinah*
I watch my brother pace the waiting room. Slowly crumbling into despair. I feel so bad. If we had just stayed at home. If we had chosen to eat somewhere else. If we had just choosen a different table. But I know that is not how the world works.. Nothing can change it now.

She has to make it. This is so unfair. They are so happy and in love. They have a beautiful little girl who needs her mother... I know that we are supposed to trust that everything that happens is God's will, but right now that is hard to believe.

When Mirabella wakes up I take her and ask the nurses if they have some baby formula... Zac needs to focus on himself right now. But she wont take the bottle. She has never known anything but her mothers breast and I just feel like crying.

"Let me". Zac gently takes her and sit down in a chair. He cradles his daugther in his arms. "Come on gum drop, you need to eat okay ? Make daddy happy and take the bottle".

My heart swells at the sight of them. He really is an amazing father. His soft words seems to do the trick and after a couple af tries Mirabella is happily sucking at the bottle. At least we are now able to feet her until Kate gets better.. if she gets better.

*Zac*
I have just put Mirabella back in her baby carriage, thinking that this is taking extremely long when a doctor opens the door and walks in. "Mr. Pugh ? I am Dr Martins. I have been working on Kate since she came in here".

Seeing his face I already knows what he is going to say, but I force myself to keep it together and ask. "Is she okay ?"

"I am so sorry. We did everything we could, but the damage was to great. We just couldn't stop the bleading. I am sorry to inform you that she is dead". He says, looking nervous.. his eyes shifting.. but I guess this is not fun for him either.

I literally wish I could just die.. Being alive hurts to much right now. It feels like someone ripped out my heart. Ripped out the essence of my existence. I feel how I crumble to the floor clutching myself. "No. No. No. She can't be dead... It has to be a mistake".

"Shh sweetie. I am so sorry". Shekinah is next to me. Holding me like I am a kid. Stroking my back as she keeps telling me to be strong. To keep figthing. That everything will be fine. But it wont. Nothing will ever be fine again.

"I can't... I can't go on without her.. oh God what am I to do ? Why couldn't it just have been me instead ?" I am sobbing out the words...I can't do this. How am I to move on without her. How am I to handle being a father of a 3 week old baby that needs her mommy all on my own.

I can faintly hear Kate's mother wailing and her father trying to comfort her. My heart goes out to them. They lost their only daughter today... I look up at the doctor. "I need to see her".

The doctor shakes his head . "I am sorry.. but I can't allow that.. she is.. to hurt.. it would be to much for you".

I am to broken.. to weak to fight him about it.. and I let Shekinah lead me out to the car and drive us back home.. it's like being in a bubble that I can't burst out of.

I am pacing the living room, while Shekinah is tugging in Mirabella.. after a hvile I grab our wedding picture, feeling the tears burn in my eyes as I look at it. "Oh baby why did you have to leave me ? How am I going to manage everything without you ? You were supposed to be my happily ever after... I love you so much Kate".

I look at the picture for a long time, remembering our wedding day.. it had been the happiest day in my life, getting to call her mine. "Dammit Kate. Thank you so much for saving our little girl...But did it really have to be with your own life ? I will never forget you and I will never stop loving you. I swear that".

Lifting the picture to my lips.. the only way I can ever kiss her again, I press my lips to the cold glass.. the frame falls from my hands and shatter, just like my heart. I feel lost like never before. I have lost my leading star and I don't know how to get my bearings back.

2 weeks later
*Shekinah*
I am worried about my brother. He is moving around the house like a ghost. Looking pale and haunted. I am happy that he has Mirabella, without her I don't think he would have made it. But he don't let anyone take over in caring for his daugther. He is there for her every second on the day.. Caring for her lovingly.

The funeral was so beautiful, but me and Sarah almost had to carry Zac from the gravesite. I literally feared he would throw himself into the hole with the coffin and  I am scared what will happen when we go back to L.A soon and he has to be alone in that big house with Mirabella.

In the evening I find him sitting out on the back porch looking up at the stars and I sit down beside him. "How are you holding up Zac ?"

"Barely". He says with a unhappy chuckle. "I feel like an empty shell... Like my heart has been ripped out and ripped to pieces blow away by the wind to forever be a part of Texas.

"I have tried and tried to see reason in this. But I can't come to terms with God taking her from you..".

"God didn't take her. He let me borrow her for the remaining time she had. He send her my way to restore my faith in love and to let me have Mirabella... No matter how painful, I wouldn't change that even if I could". He says softly.

Tears are streaming down my face. There is my brother peeking out from this wreck of a person. The man I know and love. The one that was always capable of seeing the good in everyone and everthing. "Of course you wouldn't and you and Mirabella is going to get through this".

"I can't stay Shekinah. This house holds to much of her. To many memories. I am moving back home. I think I need my family. So I am leaving my heart here in Texas and coming back to LA". He say getting up as Mirabella cries for him.