Although the nature of the questions had changed, my answer still tied into sex, and this time I wasn't quite so willing to open up.

"I think I preferred the sex questions." I chuckled, rearranging the armchair cushion behind my back.

At the moment, despite the deception, I held the moral high ground. At least in my head I did. Talking about my biggest regret risked skewing the balance.

"Go on," he said. "I won't judge."

"Well, you should."

He cocked his head and offered me a lopsided grin. "Fine. If it makes you feel better, I will judge. Happy?"

"Fine." I took a deep breath. "It was about a year ago. Becca's sister's birthday. We went back to her hometown to celebrate. There was a guy there called Grant. Becca had liked him for years, but he was her sister's friend, a bit older, and he'd said nothing could ever happen between them. Anyway, seeing him there made Becca remember the way he'd never returned her feelings. She went home with her ex. I stayed on. I must have drunk a lot because I woke up the next morning in bed with Grant and with no memory of how I'd got there."

Teddy regarded me with a bemused expression, as if trying to connect the dots. I'd laid it out as simply as possible. Key points only. Keeping to facts. Yet he seemed to struggle.

"So you slept with a guy who—"

"I don't know if I slept with him."

"You woke up in bed together and it's your biggest regret. I'd hazard a guess that you at least suspect you slept together?"

"Well, yeah. Maybe I should have asked him, but I was so mortified that I left before he woke up."

"You think someone spiked your drink?"

"Um, no. Probably not. I'd had one-night stands before, so it wasn't anything new for me. Nothing out of character. I just wish it hadn't been with a guy that Becca liked."

Lines etched into his forehead, Teddy averted his gaze across the cabin with his eyes glazed over as he absorbed my words.

"Is that why you don't drink?" He faced me again.

That was his question? Not how could you do that to your best friend?

"Sort of. There are other reasons. But yeah. Not drinking means I'm always in control of my actions. Any stupid decisions are on me, not alcohol. But do you get why I was hesitant about this?" I gestured between the two of us.

"Sure. But I got it before, too. Now it just makes more sense, I guess. But look, the guy wasn't into Becca—"

"That's not the point, Teddy—"

"Ed."

"—The point is that she liked him, and I went there. What kind of friend does that? With you it's different because you didn't know each other. She thought she knew you, but she didn't really, did she?"

I needed to back pedal before Teddy started to wonder why someone who harboured so much regret for sleeping with a person her friend liked would then hang out with another person her friend liked.

"I get it," he said eventually. "It's a matter of friendship. Loyalty."

"Exactly."

"And is she always loyal to you?"

His question caught me off-guard, even though Teddy downplaying my actions that night shouldn't have surprised me.

"Yes," I said. "Always. Becca has been there for me in some really difficult times. I've been at rock bottom, and she's picked me up, held my hand, and helped me through it. And she could have cut me off after Grant, but she didn't. She forgave me."

"If Becca can forgive you, maybe you should forgive yourself, too."

As if it were that easy.

*

With my uncomfortable family dinner fresh in my mind, I was more inspired than ever to write a series of blog posts around feeling at home when away from home.

We landed in Rome late in the evening, but I spent a few hours in my hotel room scribbling down ideas based on places I'd seen during the taxi journey. It meant I slept in later than usual the next morning, waking to the sound of raised voices in the corridor outside. Although muffled, I recognised Teddy's deep tones alongside a female voice.

Curiosity got the better of me, and I dragged my tired body out of bed and across the plush carpets to the door.

"... not necessary—"

"That's not your choice to make, Ed."

"Not my choice? Do you want me to feel like any more of a prisoner?"

Just as I edged my ear closer, a knock on the other side of the wood startled me, and I leapt back. Giving it a few seconds so it wasn't obvious I'd been eavesdropping, I unclipped the latch and pulled open the door.

A woman, tall and slender with an immaculate chestnut bob, raised an eyebrow at me.

"Sophia, is it?"

"Yes..." I glanced at Teddy, who shot me an apologetic smile from where he leaned against the opposite wall, shirtless with his rippling muscles on full display.

Before that could distract me, the woman in between us thrust out a hand.

"I'm Helen. Teddy's manager."

"Great to meet you." I tried not to wince as her fingers crushed mine.

"Just so we're clear," she said, her eyes fixed on me with unwavering confidence, "we have absolutely no problem with you being here. But we do need you to sign this."

From her other hand, she extended a Manila envelope. Even though I sensed Teddy shaking his head to himself, I took it and pulled out the contents.

"It's a non-disclosure agreement," Helen said. "It's standard procedure for anyone who works with Teddy. I know we don't employ you, but you'll still be in close proximity with our team and day-to-day operations. Your friendship may be genuine, but we don't like to take any chances, as I'm sure you can appreciate."

Fuck. We'd worried about this, but we didn't think it would happen so soon.

"I tried to talk her out of it, Soph," Teddy said, his biceps flexing as he folded his arms. "I said it was my idea that you come. Apparently my word isn't good enough."

"It's fine," I said. "I get it. I'm happy to sign anything—just not without a lawyer looking over it first."

Helen's eyebrows arched, her lips pinching together. No doubt she'd silenced other girls this way, too, and they'd signed without reading. But this plan would only work if I could bypass the gag orders and reveal the secrets that nobody else was able to.

"We can recommend a lawyer," Helen said.

I bet you can. Probably the same lawyer who wrote the damn thing.

"Thanks," I said, forcing a smile, "but I'd prefer someone independent. Like you say, I'm sure it's genuine, but best not to take any chances."

Teddy snorted, but Helen's face didn't change. If she found my response rude or uncooperative, she didn't show it.

"Very well," she said. "If you could return either the signed document or any revisions as soon as possible, that would be appreciated."

"Of course."

She turned to Teddy. "Ed, a word?"

"Sure. Just let me speak to Soph first. I'll meet you in ten minutes?"

Sighing, Helen offered him a curt nod before striding down the corridor and rounding the corner. When she'd disappeared, I could have sworn the air warmed up again. Or maybe that was just Teddy pushing himself off the wall and reaching to take the envelope from me. Without asking for an invitation, he squeezed through the gap between my body and the doorframe, the bare muscles of his broad chest brushing against my shoulder as he did so.

Then he tossed the envelope into the hotel room bin.

I sighed. "Look, if she needs me to sign something—"

"Shut the door."

His commanding voice stunned me. And not entirely in a bad way, either. Where had the playful, light-hearted Teddy gone? And how dare he use that dominant tone when half-naked? It was hard enough controlling my thoughts when he wore clothes.

I released the door, and it swung shut behind me with a loud clunk. With darkened eyes, Teddy stepped closer, stopping when only an inch of space separated our bodies. I tried to establish the vibe, but arousal clouded my mind, especially when he planted a hand above my head and lowered his lips to my ear.

"Don't sign it," he said, his words no louder than a whisper.

"If you're trying to use your half-naked body to influence my judgement..." I trailed off, not fully sure where I'd been going with that sentence, which only proved my point.

"Is it working?" His voice remained low, but the playful lilt returned.

Easing forwards, he pressed his hips to mine, the metal buckle of his belt digging into my stomach as he trapped me against the door, the warmth of his exposed skin burning through my flimsy pyjama top. Although half-dressed, his familiar scent still drifted through the thickened air, like an aphrodisiac tempting me closer.

I raised my hands, as if to put a barrier between us, pausing when my fingertips grazed his chest. Eyes blazing, Teddy's fingers wrapped around one wrist, pulling until my palm flattened against a hardened pec. The heat from his body scorched my hand, and every inch of me came alight with fire.

"Don't sign it," he repeated, his eyes flicking down to my lips.

I needed to stop this. I needed to think of Becca. She might have told me to flirt and lead him on, but my body thrummed with anticipation, stronger than I'd felt in a long time. A pull. An attraction so powerful that I couldn't hide it, no matter how hard I tried. And Teddy could see it. If he couldn't, he'd have moved away by now.

Instead, with unhurried leisure, his fingers uncurled from my wrist and glided to cement themselves against the door on the opposite side of my head, caging me between his arms. My hand didn't move from his chest, my fingertips spanning the muscle of their own volition, his smooth skin becoming textured with goose bumps where I touched him.

"I trust you." His gentle lips grazed my ear as he whispered the words, but this time they served as an ice-cold reminder, extinguishing the heat that had warmed my body.

Trust. That was what we wanted. What we were aiming for. And Teddy had reminded me exactly what I was doing.

I cleared my throat and ducked under his arm to retrieve the envelope from the bin.

"I don't want to piss off your manager," I said, dropping the papers onto the dressing table. They hit the surface with a thud, as if symbolic of the weight they represented.

Teddy ran a hand through his hair and turned to lean against the door. "I get it. I just hate the idea that our friendship is based on a contract."

"You might trust me, but she doesn't. And if I refuse to sign them, she'll have even less of a reason to trust me."

"I don't care, Soph." He closed the distance between us once more, but only desperation lit up his eyes now, the earlier hunger gone.

"You should care."

Huffing, he shook his head and reached to snatch the papers from the table. I thought he'd throw them away again, but instead he yanked them from the envelope and swiped a pen from the nearby desk.

"Here," he said, flicking through each page and making small circles on different paragraphs. "These are the parts your lawyer should change. Helen relies on people not reading it, and then she terrifies them into silence by drawing attention to some of the screwed-up things they've agreed to."

As I thought, then. I wasn't the first person. How many girls before me had signed these? How many had had their lives turned upside down by whatever horrors lived in these pages?

It was another example of the power and elitism demonstrated by celebrities. Teddy might not want me to sign it, but he clearly knew enough about what the contract entailed and hadn't stopped others from agreeing to it.

"Thanks," I said. "I don't have a lawyer yet, but—"

"Then do me a favour, Soph, and take a really long time finding one."

***

Thank you for reading :) xx

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