03| The Illusion of Choice
After I received Meteor, everything changed again. But for once, it was for the better. A series of arguments between my parents and seemingly endless begging from Mom resulted in me being privileged to go outside every day for two hours. It may have sounded crazy to some people, but one: I didn't know anyone who would have thought it was crazy, and two: a couple of hours was more than enough. I actually had some freedom for once, and it felt amazing.
Instead of going to Meteor Falls every day, I began battling more and more with Meteor. We'd find wild Pokémon and he would battle them, always taking them down rather quickly. I would never fully knock them out, though. Committing a genocide of Zigzagoon and Poochyena was not on my bucket list. Another week passed without issue, and it was the best week I'd experienced in years.
Mom was the only person who knew of my battling habits. She thought it was great that I wanted to expand my horizons instead of reading books or messing with my collection all day. So one day, I decided to ask her something.
"Mom, are there any places in Rustboro where I could have a battle? An actual battle, with real Trainers." Dad had already left for work, he wouldn't be here to hear this. Mom seemed to think for a minute before she answered.
"There is a place. It's the Rustboro City Gym. Aspiring Trainers go there to test their skills against the Leader, and if they win they receive a badge. Gym Leaders are supposed to be some of the strongest Trainers in Hoenn aside from the Elite Four and the Champion. You're not thinking of going there, are you? Your father would be furious."
"No, of course not." I covered up my question with reassurance. Hopefully I would be able mask my true intentions. "I was curious, that's all. I've only seen wild Pokémon out there, and I was wondering where all the Trainers would be." Please don't be suspicious! I thought, faking an uninterested shrug.
To my relief, Mom dismissed my question rather quickly. "Not all Trainers go to Gyms. Maybe you haven't seen any because they always arrive here through Petalburg Forest."
"That makes sense." I stood up from my seat. "I'll be back in a while, okay?"
"Where are you going?" Mom asked.
"The falls. I discovered a lot of Water Stones there the other day, and I want to examine them before I bring them home," I lied.
"Please don't bring any more rocks home. Your shelves are already overflowing with the things," Mom sighed.
"I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying no, either," I responded, walking to the front door. Before Mom could respond, I left the house. I had a Gym to find!
I had to ask around for the Gym's location. Unsurprisingly, I wasn't very much of a people person. It made sense for being cooped up inside for the past seven years of my life. Eventually someone directed me to a street near the edge of the city, saying that I couldn't miss if I tried. That person was right. The Gym was a huge two-story building made of cobblestone with bricks lining the doors and few windows. There was a sign mounted on the wall next to the doors. "Rustboro City Gym. Leader Terrance, the Rock-type teacher." Under the description was a list of names, most likely the Trainers who had beaten him.
I took a deep breath, my heart already racing. This would be my first battle with an actual Trainer, and I wanted to make it my best. I couldn't wait! Okay, Steven. It's time! I told myself. I opened one of the doors and entered the Gym.
The first room was a small lobby-like area with a woman sitting behind a counter and a set of double doors on the far left side of the back wall. The woman looked up at me when she heard the door open. Her face perked up and she gave me a small smile.
"Hi there, welcome to the Rustboro City Gym. Are you here to challenge Terrance?"
I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Is he here at the moment?"
"Yep! I'll notify him, so give me a sec." She pressed a button on the headset she was wearing. "Hey Terrance! You've got a challenger!"
A minute later the double doors opened, and a middle-aged man in a brown suit stepped into the lobby. He wouldn't have looked out of place at a standard office if it weren't for the rest of his ensemble. He also wore a pair of miner's gloves and boots along with a pair of glasses that looked purposefully cracked. It was all so out-of-place that it was almost ridiculous.
"Terrance Saphir, nice to meet ya!" the man said jovially, offering me a hand. I slowly reached out and shook his hand.
"Steven Stone. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Saphir," I said.
"Stone? Ya related to the Devon president or somethin'?" he asked. "And please, call me Terrance."
"Something along those lines... Terrance," I said with a bit of hesitance. Calling adults by their first names was a foreign concept to me, and it felt odd to do so.
"It don't matter anyhow. Yer here for a battle, and I'm willin' to oblige. Follow me." Terrance led me through the double doors into a huge arena. White lines marked a large rectangle on the earthy floor, another line cutting the rectangle in half short ways. "How many Pokémon do ya have, Steven?" Terrance walked to the far half of the rectangle. I figured that I would have to stand on the other side, near the doors.
"One. Why, was I supposed to have more?"
"It'd be preferable. Unlike other regions, the Hoenn League states that no matter how many 'Mons a Trainer has, the Leader can use as many as they'd like. Within the six number limit, of course. In this case I have two, my Geodude and Nosepass," Terrance said, removing two Poké Balls from his belt. He sent out a gray Rock-type that looked like an oversized rock with a pair of arms and eyes.
I hope Meteor can handle both of them. I sent him out and he was excited to battle.
Terrance crossed his arms. "Enough chitchat. Yer here to battle and as League rules state, challenger gets first move."
I could barely contain my excitement. I was battling a real Trainer. Not just any Trainer though, a Gym Leader! "Meteor, let's do this! Iron Head!"
Okay! That Geodude is going down! Meteor glowed white and charged at Geodude.
"Defense Curl!"
"Geo!" Geodude covered its face with its arms, a transparent blue bubble forming around it. Meteor slammed into it, knocking it back a ways but not knocking it out. It uncrossed its arms and smirked at Meteor.
What? Why didn't it faint? Meteor glanced back at me.
I don't know, I thought back. I had figured out last week that I could communicate with Meteor through thought instead of out loud. The downside to this was that he could read my mind now, too. "Iron Head again!"
"Geodude, Tackle!"
Meteor and Geodude charged at each other at the same time, colliding with a loud smash. Meteor's attack won out over Geodude's, however, and it fainted. Terrance recalled his fallen Pokémon and sent out a blue and red Rock-type with a large nose and stubby limbs.
"Nosepass, use Rock Throw!" The Pokémon took hold of a large rock and threw it at Meteor.
"Dodge it!" I countered. Meteor easily dodged out of the way of the rock Nosepass had thrown.
Is that all you got? Meteor taunted. I've faced stronger Zigzagoon than you! Nosepass growled and began throwing more rocks at Meteor, missing every time. Such poor aim! he continued to mock.
"Nopa! Pa!" Nosepass said angrily. It then lifted a huge rock and chucked it at Meteor. He was taken by surprise and took the full hit, falling to the ground.
"Meteor, what are you doing?" I gasped.
"Why did ya use Rock Blast? It wasn't yer turn!" Terrance scolded his Pokémon. "I'm sorry Steven, Nosepass ain't usually like this."
"It's fine," I muttered, casting the unruly Steel-type a glare. Meteor had recently developed this cocky attitude of his. Defeating all those wild Pokémon must have gone to his... head? Or whatever he had in place of a head. Not going to lie, it irritated me beyond belief.
I'm sorry, I got carried away, Meteor apologized.
I'll excuse it one more time. You have to listen, okay? I thought back. "Meteor, Iron Head, please!" I strained the last word through gritted teeth.
Yes, master, Meteor replied sarcastically. He repeated the same process that took place whenever he used Iron Head.
"Rock Throw, Nosepass!"
The Rock-type lifted yet another rock—this one so big it was practically a boulder—and launched it at Meteor. He ran right into the oncoming projectile, completely smashing through it in the process. He then went on to collide with the stunned Nosepass, denting it into the far wall to the right of where Terrance stood.
It didn't get up.
I was shocked to the point of being speechless. I'd done it... I had won! My first battle... and I won! I was so exhilarated that I was actually feeling a little light-headed.
"That was incredible! For a rookie, ya sure know how to end a battle," Terrance congratulated me as he recalled his Nosepass. He walked across the room and presented me with a badge that looked like two interlocking gold arrows. "It's great to see a Trainer win their first Gym battle."
Or their first overall battle. "Thank you, Terrance," I said, somehow finding my voice to say that. Not sure what to do with the badge, I slipped it into my pocket. "Come on, Meteor. We're going."
Meteor floated over to me. Aww, it's over? he whined. I rolled my eyes and returned him to his ball.
"Good luck, kid," Terrance said. "Ya got talent, that's all I can say there."
I thanked him again and left the Gym. The rest of the time I was outside seemed to fly by, probably having to do with the fact I was lost in thought. The battle kept replaying itself over and over in my head. Once again, battling alongside Meteor felt right. And when Terrance said I had talent, why did I feel so happy? I mulled over these thoughts for a while, and each time the same thought would answer it. I'm meant to be a Trainer. That had to be it, it was the only thing that could explain it. No, I can't! I have to run Devon, I have no other option.
I then remembered what Mom told me. Just do what makes you happy. Could I really do that? At this point, after six years of the slow slog through my studies, there was no going back. I would be throwing away everything I'd worked for! I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh of frustration.
Why don't you just tell your father? Meteor piped up, ripping me from my thoughts.
What did I say when it came to reading my mind? I thought.
'Don't do it,' I know. You've been so quiet the past few hours, and I was curious.
You know what? I'm glad you did, I needed some advice.
So follow it and tell your father. The worst he can say is no, right?
I guess so... I still felt apprehensive. Dad saying no would be the best turnout when it came to what I wanted to say. Whatever, I'd do it. Meteor was right, there wasn't too much harm in trying. Unless crippling disappointment and shame isn't a major factor.
That night, I was a nervous wreck. Waiting for Dad to get home seemed like it took three years instead of three hours. This gave me plenty of opportunities to think of backing out of my plan. Then either the stubborn part of my mind or Meteor would chime in, telling me it was okay and that I needed to do it. For some reason, I listened to him. Having him by my side made me feel more confident, I guess. When I heard the front door open, I ran to greet my dad, ready to face certain doom.
"Dad, I need to ask—"
"Not now, Steven. We can talk over dinner," Dad said, brushing past me on his way to the living room. In one quick swoop, I had been shot down. Great, now I would have to wait another anxiety-filled twenty minutes until I could propose my rightly insane idea. Thankfully those minutes passed rather quickly.
No sooner then when we all had sat down at the table, Dad picked up on where I had left off. "What were you going to ask me?"
It was now or never. "Do you think it's possible for me to run Devon and be a Pokémon Trainer at the same time?"
Dad raised an eyebrow. "What do you think? Of course not! A president has to be fully committed to his job. Besides, going out on your own is not an option. Why? Where are you going with this?"
Here goes... "Because I—" I swallowed hard, steeling myself for what I would say next. "I... don't want to run Devon."
Silence filled the room, making me feel even more tense.
"You what?" Dad asked sternly, a dumbfounded expression on his face. "Did I hear you correctly?"
"Yes, you did. I thought about this for a while, and I know what I really want to do now. I don't want to run Devon, I want to become a Pokémon Trainer. I want to actually go out and experience the world for myself." I flinched away from Dad's stare, staring down at my clenched fists. They were balled so tightly that they were turning white.
"I knew it... letting you keep that Beldum was a mistake. It's the reason why you've been slacking lately. Those foolish daydreams are filling your head with nonsense!" Dad snapped, his gaze filling with anger.
I continued speaking, choosing my words carefully even though it wouldn't matter in the long run. "I don't want to stay here, to have my life controlled without my permission. I have put up with this for years... and I don't want to anymore. My life doesn't need to be just... just handed to me." I nearly had to force myself to say those last words.
"You're only going off on a whim, Steven. You don't know what you're talking about!" Dad said.
I shook my head. "I could have left years ago, you know that," I said, still ignoring the increasingly furious glare I was getting from Dad. "I only chose to continue this because I want you to be happy."
What I was saying felt so, so wrong. Each word was like venomous bile I had forced myself to spit up, making me sicker with every passing moment. The entire time this was happening, Mom said nothing. She could only stare at me with an astonished look. I was on my own here.
"You didn't choose. You never had a choice in the first place!" Dad became enraged with my response. "Having a Pokémon doesn't mean you can be on your own. You wouldn't be able to survive out there for more than a day by yourself. Get rid of that fantasy, because it will never come true!"
Something in the back of my mind then snapped and a foreign thought loudly made its existence known. Dad... doesn't know best. No, that couldn't be right. Those words had never once occurred to me, and even considering them was an act more forbidden to me than committing murder. The thought made so much sense to me though, and it filled me with rage. Like I said, I had put up with my situation for long enough. I was tired of Dad telling me what to do, I needed to make my own choices. "Or what?" I yelled, my anger overcoming my fear. "What will you do, Dad? I am not a child anymore! I can make my own decisions!"
"I will take that accursed Beldum away from you, that's what! Now go to your room, like the disobedient child you are!"
Child. I was more than hurt by that statement, I was practically crushed. Dad regarded me as nothing more than a child, a stage of life reserved for those who were innocent, curious, naïve, and immature. That one word struck me to the center of my very being, furthering the thought that had dared entered my mind earlier.
I could have said so many things in response. "I hate you," or, "You can't control me," perhaps even, "I wish I weren't your son," if I was feeling gutsy enough. But what he said about Meteor, about me... that shut me right up. He couldn't do that to me, he couldn't take Meteor away. If that happened, I knew I would, for a lack of a better word, break. Despite my mind screaming at me to keep arguing, I made the conscious effort to stop myself from retorting. Instead of the retorts I had thought of, I dejectedly said, "Y-yes, Dad. I'm sorry."
I then left the room and went up to mine, locking the door behind me. I sat down on my bed, falling onto my side to face the wall. It was strange... For once, I didn't feel guilty for what I did. Instead, I felt happy, proud even. Dad... isn't always right, I again thought. It didn't sound right in the slightest, yet I kept thinking that. Dad doesn't know best...
That was my wake-up call, my reality check, my realization. That thought had snapped something deep within my subconscious, snapping like a string.
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